&t skeet on mischa: 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Jul 30, 2004

i've attempted far too many times to write about my trip on thursday to raging waters, but really it boils down to these few things:
-getting sun block in your eyes is one of the most painful experinces i've encountered in my whole life. it hurt more than having a baseball thrown at my arm by chone figgins.
-mexican people really do swim in their clothes and some even swim in sexy, lacey black cammies.
-raging waters has way better rides than wild rivers, but longer lines.
-jail bait a hoy, yet ironically, i did not feel painfully old nor out of place at raging waters
-the latina britney spears ('baby one more time' era) or latina teagan presely works as a lifeguard there.
-the real life version of kip & lafawnduh were there and they popped each other's zits while in line or they were adult film stars or they were both and popped its each other backne.
-44 oz white cherry flavored icees make you sick.
-the ridve, 'the vortex' is basically what i assumed my birf was like. cold, dark, wet, and scary. at the end, i was struggling for air.
-you pretty much need at 3 other people with you to have a full on 'raging' time.
-there are bees every where, so you may want to rock a bee keeper's helmet.

-thriller:a cruel picture, the sweedish revenage film that was 'homaged' in tarantino's bloody brilliant kill bill gets a limited dvd release. i got mine, so you better get yours cause i'm not the one to loan out movies.

-new g-unit mix tape!!! featuring alot of stuff from the recently leaked young buck album and newest member of g-unit, game. i'm still waiting on the yayo mix tape.

-"right side of the bed" by arteyu is my new fav metalcore video. not only does it feature a paris hilton look alike with bad implants, but it features gratious HxC kids guitar riff finger thing and air guitar action as well as 'xxx' belt action.

and finally,

i saw the bee girl last night at dinner. shes' a waitress now and lives in my home town.

Jul 29, 2004

all these things that i've learned

two things that i've learned since my attendence of the angels/rangers game tonight:

1) don't fumble around with your picture phone while outfielder chone figgins is warming up because he'll probably throw a baseball in your direction and it'll smash into your left arm, like it did with me tonight. the ball bounced off my arm and into the stands and some dude just grabbed it. isn't there such a thing as common deceny amongst men over foul balls that destroy peoples arms? you would think that the dude seeing the ball bounced off my arm would give it to me, but no. the guy was a selfish asshole. it should be noted that figgins saw that i wasn't on the ball as well as potential mvp candiate, vladmir 'giggles' guerroro tossed me a ball to keep. so yeah, if you're gonna sit in the home run section, don't fuck around with your camera phone no matter how sexy it may be. and mine is pretty sexy. its got a picture of rachel bilson on it and a flaming lips song as its ringtone. so i have a large bump on my left arm; put a cold beer to reduce the swelling.

second thing, i learned:
carl's jr's bbq chicken sandwich is amazing.

going down to san diamas on thursday morning. hoping to run into bill & ted while i'm in town or at least see the coolest napolean of all time, napolean bonerpart.

ps. fuck rollingstone.com's ringtone of usher's "yeah"; so not worh 2 bucks.

"you have eyes like a gorillia"

Jul 27, 2004

everything is everything...

some may say, "worst day ever" and those who say that are pretty fucking dead on in the description of tuesday for yours truly.

after an 'mst3k' style viewing of disney's song of the south and the delightful emergence of 'moonwalking kitties' on monday night at hop's place, we all relunctly woke up at different times all through out the 5o'clock hour to embark on a journey to the ryan seacrest show to see ashlee simpson perform her hit single, "pieces of me," and you know, be apart of the scene.

whatever scene that is, they did not want us to be apart of it. after a hellacious journey from the 57 to the 60 to the 101 during morning rush hour, we arrive at seacrest 8 in the morning. at this point, we thought we'd be safe, we'd get a spot inside, but no, no way jose. the line was already around the block. the line was mostly 12 year old girls in bright colors and flip flops. not to mention, girls wearing short skirts who had no business whatsoever wearing a skirt of such length. it was already a lost cause as myself and hollywood brown shuffled down the steps to get a spot in line. we should've cut our losts at that point, but what we would've gained is even more fun sitting on the 101 again, but maybe we'll get to hear stern talk about his message board again.

so we waited and waited with inane chatter happening behind us. talk of the breast implants and the damage done to the cuticles from being a hair dresser interwoven with my talk of 'hand shakes and hand jobs' being given at the burger king across the street. the blistering heat destroyed our will and the smog from highland ave destroyed our lungs. we were like coppola and little by little, we went insane.

well, me and hollywood. we began to wave at passing traffic and asking for the big rig drivers to honk their horn and being giddy like school children inbetween half hearted attempts at singing phoenix's "everything is everything". and of course, doing the kittie moonwalk into the intersection.

so we got our walking papers from the audience cordinator and sat in the courtyard of the highland & hollywood complex in the shade. while we sat, i learned that reality tv isn't really that real. on seacrest, they were doing an 'ambush' makeover with the people from "ambush makeover". we sat and watched them rehearse the ambush of the make over victim a few times, then taped it; didn't work, and did another take. so guess what, kids, reality tv is not real. although, the guy from "ambush makeover" looks like a fucking tomato in designer jeans in real life.

a mini celebrity spilt of sorts went down today. a friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend. if britney & ashton can't make it, and if these kid can't make it, then what hope is there for love these days?

we went down to amoeba, which so far has provided the only highlight. we spotted deputy dewey buying movie soundtracks on vinyl. finally found a copy of hollertonix's amazing mix, "never scared" and truffaut's shoot the piano player as well as one of the best albums of the year, "alphabetical" by phoenix. so that was cool.

then i come home and attempt to set up the media me plan on my new phone with even more disasterious results. yes, i have a picture phone, but i can not upload any pictures from it. so it's all one big mess; its all my fault and i'll be up early in the morning to fix all of my problems.

uf, one of the worst days in recent memorey.

at least, i have my charla tonight.

[editor's note: as i wrote this, i watched the episode of seacrest in question and came to the conclusion that i wasn't missing that much, and dare i say this, ashlee simpson kinda sucked when she performed her hit single, 'pieces of me'. not to mention, the ap reports seacrest out! permantely i liked trl better anyways; vanessa minnillo, what a babe!]

Jul 25, 2004

you gonna let me in with this nine

apparently, i think i'm better than everybody cause i'm from the oc, which couldn't be more further than the truth. if you knew me, really, really, really, really, really knew me, you would know that i think so less of myself because i live behind the orange curtain.

sure, i may live a life style that is mildly atypical of a character from a hit television series that glamourizes my home, but i'm so far from it.

sure, i wear paul frank shirts, but he's not my friend by any strencth of the imagination.

so, i drive a car with a gps system, xm radio installed, leather seats and a in dash 6 disc cd changer; but its a fucking honda and its covered with bird shit and i can't even park it in a car port because every time i try i get a panic attack.

all right, i have an am ex card, but the fact is, the only reason i have it, is so i can build a decent line of credit. my father, the banker explained this to me, so when i buy home, it'll be alot easier cause i'll have good credit.

so if one is going to attack me becauses i live in orange county, they should think before they launch into some ill convinced attack. not to mention, one should not go up to a person and just touch their hair. its a thing called spacial issues. further more, the night in question had been the first night in nearly week that i left my house when it was going to the vet or going back in 15 minutes due to the health status of my dog, so being on the phone, to check in on my dog and to see if she's taken her meds, isn't being rude, its just being a cocerned pet owner.

so in other words, if you think i'm an asshole because i'm more interested in my dog than you. then frankly, i want nothing to do with you and your shitty life style.

with that off of my chest....

-young buck's solo debut, "straight outta ca$hville" has leaked; you may find it here. here's the problem with the solo albums from the g-unit; both albums lack that perfect blend of gun raps and club anthems. lloyd banks wants to do club anthems, yet ends up sounding like method man on a couple of tracks and young buck wants to be exactly like 50, but his rhymes are transparent and seem to follow 50's blueprint. although, the track, "bang bang" has a nice chipmunk soul sample of nancy sinatra's "bang bang (my baby shot me down)".

-paris hilton pulls a 'kirsten dumpst' on nick carter. frankly who cares? we all knew that paris could do better than a pudgy boy member with hair like david la chappelle (the uncool chappelle).

-the hives' new album, "tryannosaurs hives" is the musical equilvent of oreos for me. they taste great when you first open them up, you can't stop eating them, but eventually, they get stale. so right now, i'm in the phase where i think the album is great, but ask me in a week or two from now, i'm probably not even listening to it anymore.

-the either much loved or hated, depending upon the day of the week band, franz ferdinand is fixing to get automator on the fader for their next album personally, i just wish that automator would finish his solo album already or do another hip hop record. less rock, more kool keith! no release date for the new handsome boy modeling school effort, yet, but automator's rather lame team up with the bro from glassjaw, head automatica is touring with the cure this summer

-robert rodigruez & frank miller's sin city is getting alot of good buzz at comic con this past weekend, here and here. even though, i've heard that the film is going to be probably the most literal comic book big screen adaptation; i'm exteremly disappointed to discover that even though her character in the comics is either buck naked or topless for a majority time, jessica alba will not. boo! side note: robin 'hollywood' brown attended comic con and saw the coreys on a smoke break.

-catwoman has a disapointing openning weekend, who's surprised?

-defamer tells us that brit brit is a major sneekzer, but then again, who's surprised?

on friday night, i attended the rilo kiley record release show at the john anson ford amphitheater. random thoughts:
-best outdoor venue for a show. there's no such as a bad thing as bad seat; its very iminate and casual.
-rilo kiley had free face paintings, snow cones, and balloon animals. so just imagine all of the la hip kids eating snow cones and holding balloon doggies and dancing.
-no 'the oc' kids spotted or at least i did not see any. apparently tobey magiure was there, i believe i'm at the point with tobey magiure where i can't recongize him unless he's wearing the spider man costume or next to kirsten dumpst, which is sad. i did see two thirds of the sexy band, the like; although i always see their drummer at rilo kiley shows, so it doesn't count.
-the napolean effect; yeah, scene kids are dressing like him now, cept they're not rocking the snow boots yet.
-drinking some brews + ben gibbard acoustic=good times; although before i had my drink, i was on the verge of falling asleep during his set. everybody else woke up when jimmy tamborello and jenny lewis joined the stage for "such great heights." well, i assume that everybody was falling asleep during his set, but they probably weren't, if anything, rilo and death cab should probably tour together.
-rilo kiley did alot of new songs; they're good. they did mostly jenny songs; only two blake songs. they sounded good and they could be, i shudder to say this, but they could be vh-1 darlings, which i wouldn't mind because the less 14 year old kids at shows, the better i feel. all ages show=i feel super old; 21+ shows=feel super young.

if i did 'weird al' style paradoies, my new paradoy would be of the killers and their smash hit, "indie rock n roll" cept mine would be "indie rock moms" 'it's indie rock moms for me/its all i need'.

lloyd: hip hop and r&b's answer to clay aiken or just an abuser of weird 'cher' esque vocal effects?

ashlee simpson on ryan seacrest, tuesday afternoon. probably waking up at 5:30 in the morning to be the first line to get inside to see ashlee shake her ass and get softballs tossed at her.

don't forget that one of the best albums of the year comes out this tuesday. its entitled, "alphabetical" and its by phoenix. its as if brian wilson hung around with the band, air in france for a little while and decided to make a record.

Jul 22, 2004

-blonde redhead are playing the henry fonda & glasshouse with the liars on november 19th, 20th, & 21st; on sale this saturday.

-one of s.diego's few all ages venues, soma reports that everybody's former favorite band, the faint is hitting the road in november and word has it with tv on the radio; if i go, i'm leaving after the faint does "worked up so sexual" cause i'm claiming 'danny glover' status.

-steve-o was on stern this morning; talked about how he parties with an sports illsturated swimsuit model and worked on a g unit mix tape with whoo kid!; steve-o has bling and is doin' the thing

-while the new interpol album has leaked and everybody has creamed their designer jeans over it; why hasn't the new blood brothers album leaked yet? or if it has, and you have a copy, i'd like to take a listen.

-charla is the best thing about television right now i nearly threw up from laughing at this past week's episode when she got electricuted. although her team mate is a total bitch.

-tom green & jerry spinger have aspirations of ripping off vh-1's best week ever. didn't they learn anything by checking out e!'s horrible what the? awards?

Jul 21, 2004

slow news day...

dr. chocolate from andy dick's brilliant show, "the assitant," on myspace y'all.

so if you want to know which girl on the show andy dick slept with, she's a good source of answers.

my personal opinion is the scarlett johansson-esque, melissa

-pitchpork reports that 'seth cohen' rock poster kids death cab for cutie have plans to tour with pretty girls make graves in the fall. expect lots of guys wearing penguin shirts with their girlfriends who'll look as if urban outfitters threw up all over them; in other seth cohen rock news, postal service's cover of phil collins lands on the soundtrack to a lame josh hartnett film

-everybody's favorite, but not mine, film, napolean dynamite gets a wider release and a new ending; how about this instead, an explanation as to who the woman that showed up to uncle rico's van at the end or just a cohesive plot.

-while i have not listened to all of ashlee simpson's album(its in the car), but i'll tell you this much, she's basically the disney channel's version of courtney love; she aspires to rock like pat bentar, but ends up sounding like the lady who sang "bette davis eyes" doing blondie covers. she lost some cred cause she shouts out benji & joel from good charolette in the linear notes. its a good starting record for your 11 year old sister, you know if you want to be a rocker or something.

-stern to be sued by clear channel for doing what they hired him to do. in other stern news, they're still not letting anybody else join their message board

-stereogum shows us that brit-brit's boy toy has a pair of nikes for every day of the week laces sold separetly.

-variety reports michael bay will produce a prequel to texas chainsaw massacre remake

-ratatat recently released a remix album and its a very calming, relaxing hip hop album. if jay-z makes a comeback, he should get them to do a beat or two.

Jul 20, 2004

shaq promises to bring the title to miami and talked about how he likes to be naked on the beach; meanwhile the la lakers want to bring it back to '91 with the signing of the flopmeister general,vlade!. i'm going to miss shaq press conferences; for who else on the lakers is going to call the sacremento kings, 'the queens' and call himself, "the nfl's best basketball player".

sadly, my dog has a golden band aid on her front paw and has been sleeping on a purple blanket. she's unknowningly repping the lakers and i'm not sure if she wants to.

aicn has an excellent interview with zombie film demi god, george romero on his next zombie epic, land of the dead. it can be read here. apparently the budget for the new film is in the 'teens' of millions; i loved romero's thoughts on the recent dawn of the dead remake: "a hot action flick".

the fever’s “gray ghost” which has to be one of the better music videos i’ve seen in a long time; not to mention, the song is super catchy and i feel utterly stupid for sleeping on the fever. they'll be in the orange county area on august 7th at the wee wee soaked heck hole with moving units. be there and feel really, really, really, really old.

new beck in october with the dusties behind the boards; when are we going to get a dust brothers solo album? or did that already come out and i totally slept on it?

i hate the fact that i like the new hives song. its so catchy and sounds exactly like a who song.

the company my father just started working for helps provide financing for indie films and he told me that they did the limey; my father, easily the smartest man i know, he can hand million dollar loans, but can not make a mix tape.

i love me alba zabla, but did the producers of fanstatic four completely miss out on the concept of kate busworth as sue storm?

this is the part of the movie, where you...

with my past weekend, i just wanted somebody to say that line to me or say it to somebody. the best dog ever, nelson has been in and out of the vet from some pretty bad health problems, but she's out to prove the vets wrong because she's getting better and fighting the good fight. alot of stress and tears have been shed; we were hoping for the best and expecting the worst. we got the best and we're going to cherish every day we got left with her. she's probably 13 years old (we got her at the pond and they had no clue as to her age) and basically, her age has finally caught up with her. robin brown, hops, and evelynn all paid a visit on saturday night, our darkest hours and cheered me and my mother up. sitting around the table, eating pie, and making jokes about fat kids named andy and how all they think is candy and watching the trash cinema classic, get over it(gratuious mila kunis & kirsten dunst bikini action as well as gratious sisquo reaction shot action, so sexy).

i wished that my vet offered a frequent visitor like a sandwich shop may have. you know, you've gotten this many x-rays, and when you get your sixth one, its on the house; something like that. instead of that forced conversation about how they love your dog and want her to get better. as sick as it sounds, when we took her to the urgent care center for over night care, i prefer that vet beceause he was the most honest. he sat us down and basically said, that you know what, nelson may not make through the night, she's pretty sick as opposed to saying she's going to be normal. i prefer a sense of pemistic optimism.

so please excuse my lack of updates. i have good reasons.

-first to fight, formeley known as death from above has changed their name again, to DEATH FROM ABOVE 1979; i dunno, still sounds lame and as some say its shades remiscenet of fellow canadian rockers, sum41!.
-defamer ran a piece of "the oc" kids been spotted around la and warning everybody who attends an 'indie' show, will probably see them. i'm going to the rilo kiley show on friday night; i'll be on the prowl, but if i see rachel bilson, i'll probably cream my designer jeans and i'll have to tie a sweater around my waist, the rest of the night, such a good look, the look of a 30 year old woman with a big ass. although, what can be worst than ruining or enchancing your jeans because you see a goddness known as rachel b, is that you run into somebody who knows you from lsp like the two weeks you were on there and they strike up awkward convos with you in between bands. i usually say, "no whammies" over and over again at rilo kiley shows and so far, its worked; well the one time, i did it.
-speaking of the oc kids, i saw an interview with adam brody at the fox launch party, here's what trasnpered:

reporter: so what's happening on this upcoming season of "the oc"?
brody: no fucking clue.
i think that people love seth cohen, but just have a general disdain for adam brody.

since, i'm on the morning shift of the nelson health care party plan, i will most likely not be one of the first 500 people to purchase ashlee simpson's hit album, "autobiography" at the costa mesa best buy today and will not be able to make to the in store this coming sunday. oh well, i'm going to wake up at the crack of dawn to see my ash-ash on seacrest a week from today.

Jul 12, 2004

the thief's theme

its been a mean while, since i’ve sat down and wrote an epic. perhaps, i’ve become too consumed with partying with jessica alba, rachel bilson, and recently fired hair stylist and overall fonzie wanna be, brandon from “blow out”. my recent brush of fame as a political pundit for “on air with ryan seacrest”. a fleeting three minutes on a barely watched talk show unless you’re an eight year old girl with walls covered with pictures of clay aiken, can oddly enough open up alot of doors and land you alot of phone numbers. mandy moore’s number? got it. mischa barton? yup, i called her about some michael caine i had and she was all stoked, but her her line partner in crime was in rehab for an eating disorder; so she wasn’t really excited to play unless creepy mccreeperson aka my boyfriend came (boo!). its like i told robin brown before he left for a film festival, “just build your buzz, kid” and i took my own advice, turning a two minute segment on a low rated show into something out of a jay-z video directed by hype williams. lines, chrissy, crack pipes, beer, and sexy designer sunglasses.

seriously, all maliboobs is a bunch of range rovers, beemers, and neon signs. newport is so much more sleazier.

dr jerry buss is fucking up the lakers. to quote bill phalscke, “its not the heat, its the stupidity”.

the canadian power duo, death from above has changed their name to first to fight; pressure from the dfa record label and producing duo. i don’t know why people are flipping out like somebody who just saw fahrenheit 9/11. they’re still going to sound like death from above and you can still call them death from above, but when you go buy their album, it’ll be in the f section. not to mention, they’re gonna have the same push behind them that made the stills such a clear channel darling (don’t front, indie103 is a clear channel owned station). first to fight is still pretty tough and essentially, first to fight is fight music.

celebrity spotting:
-kevin disco of everybody’s favorite purveyors of sass, dance disaster movement and 60 watt kid, was spotted at an undisclosed urban outfitters in the southern california area. he wasn’t buying clothes, he works there and has to listen to the killers all day, which can be a good or a bad thing, depending upon who you are.
-oscar winning actress marisa tomei was slumming it on friday night at a bar in orange county with a hunky fire fighter. a friend of a friend refereed to tomei as “the girl from anger management” and not an oscar winner.
-mischa barfin was spotted not once, but twice this past week. each time she was spotted, she had food in front of her, a salad. yet when pressed for questions, these people provided no answers to the pressing questions, “did she look like she was on the blow”.

ashlee simpson in store appearance in orange county on july 25th at the best buy in costa mesa. its gonna be me and like 400 teenaged girls, rad.