a few post it notes from me to you...
to: the guy in the kia parked on serrano
hey dude, sorry to be all 'joey grecco' steez on you and your lady while i was walking my dog, earlier today. she had to go to the bathroom really bad and we weren't expect to see anybody making out with their ladies on a highly trafficed street. if we stopped you from going to third base, once again, our bad.
not to mention, sorry to laugh at y'all when your kia with the fake wood paneling's engine reved up while you were making out. i don't mean to undermine the true love that you and your special lady friend may have, but it was just hilarious. not even the best writer could've written that joke, dude.
ps. if this is in fact, a 'cheaters' situation, you might wanna go to a spot like a motel as opposed to a street where little kids walk home from school on.
to: ladies & dudes of saddleback college
re: your choice in footwear
hey, i don't mean to ride upon the coat tails of the recent issue of vice, but for pete's sake, your flip flopped feet are ugly and nobody wants to see them. did i miss the post it note from the school saying that everybody has to wear flip flops to school every day? or is this just an 'oc' thing? is it an unspoke rule that we all have to wear flip flops if we live in the oc, like we all have to own at least one social distortion album or at least know the words to "ball & chain"? cause i missed that in the county resident handbook.
sure, flips flops are all right when you're at the beach or whatevs, but when you wear them every where, you're only placating stereotypes. can you please go that extra mile to put on a pair of socks and tie up those laces, so i won't have to stare at your feet anymore? no mani/pedis can make your feet look attractive, feets will always, always be ugly.
don't say you're not wearing flip flops when you wear those stupid ballerina slipers, cause we can still see your ugly big toe and it's gross. i will spare my wrath on platform sandals and ugg boots, only to say this, platform sandals are one way step away from stripper shoes and the biggest decepction this side of the sting
so save your shoeless desires for the comfy confines of your home or the beach.