&t skeet on mischa: 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Oct 24, 2004

walking to do

for those of you who didn't do their pop culture homework or basically, have a life and completely missed one of the best lip sync slip ups since milli vanilli, ashlee simpson on saturday night live, well, my words don't do it justice, just watch read this.(most video links of said incident aren't working) for those on the west coast, the snl producers took out the music. at first, i thought ashlee was going to be on some elvis costello type shit, but then i remember, ashlee simpson isn't that cool nor do i believe that she's even heard of elvis costello.

here ashlee spins as if she's apart of the bush campagin, blaming her band, yet if you look upon the faces of the band, well, to be specific, the bassit and the second guatirst, they seemed sorta happy that she fucked up on such pretengious forum. wow, finally something interesting and funny happened this season on snl; wish more of the same could've been said about jude as host, but they were wasters.

zach braff is the kind of guy who'll do the mcmurphy just got a lobotomy face for like ten minutes or at least to the point where everybody including the cat is uncomfortable, then he smirk, "just fuckin' with ya," where as natalie pormtan, she's like a summer's day. cool, relaxed, and comfy causal.

what happened to the new bone crusher single? was i the only one who liked it? that ying yang twins chorus is so nice, but i guess anything related to jermanie durpi turns into trash unless it has six pack abs and rhymes with fusher. look at janet, dudes.

some say hottest zombie porn(nsfw) since erotic night of the living dead

perhaps, inspired by a recent episode of "laguna beach," your humble narrator went down to south coast plaza to check out the scene. i did in fact, walk by the two make up stores featured in the stores and thoughts of 'i wonder if lc or lo is in there' danced around my mind, yet my last trip to south coast plaza prevented me from having a good time.

as you see, i was slightly involved in a hate crime. well, i was a victim of a hate crime.i was walking to my car, wearing some shorts, blue new balances and holding the stuff i just bought from the paul frank store when these two metrosexuals with their little faux hawks and rock star energy drinks on a break from abercrombie & fitch stared me down with their cold dead eyes and uttered, "fag" at me. so with every step i took in the mall, i looked over my shoulder for over stylized hair and cold dead, hate filled eyes of a metrosexual. i'm sorry if i don't wear three layers of clothing and flip flops, but i am still a human being with feelings and a sense of fashion as well.

fears of being attacked by metrosexuals represented only one part of the problem at the mall. i've entered, if you will, a mid life pants crisis, which can't be explain other than the fact that designer jeans depress the hell out of me and i can't wear the same jeans as some dude in high school who considers jadakiss to be the second greatest rapper of all time behind eminem, of course. or whenever, i find a pair of pants, i like, they don't have any in my particular size or i face the realization that i'm on the verge of spending 160 dollars on a pair of pants. so i'm on the search to find a pair of pants that'll blow my mind.

anyways, boys and ghouls, i'm going to be taking a brief break, in fact, i'll be gone till november. but fear not, i do believe we'll be having missy guest write for a couple of days. we'll be back to cover the election and how important it is since the dude from maroon 5 is urging everybody to vote as well as the new season of "the oc". not to mention, the last time, i went to see lcd soundsystem play, i got maybe 10 hours of sleep over a 5 day period, so we need to get our z's before we see james murphy kick out the jawns next thursday night.

don't forget to pick up death from above 1979's full length, "you're a woman, i'm a machine" out on tuesday, right now, its number 3 on my top ten of 2004 list.

Oct 22, 2004

the end has no end

boyles and lady o'doyles, i have super duper good news on two fronts. one front, and its more of a small victory for your humble narrator, but i will be at the lcd soundsystem next thursday night. yes, i'll be the asshole over doing the clapping during "movement" and probably be jumping up and down during "yeah," but feck you, tis me favorite band.

and secondly, the word around the camp fire, is that rachel bilson is back on the market. so, i'll off to la, dudes.

Oct 21, 2004

bitches made me update three times in one day...

but this is major news, dudes.

your humble narrator's favorite band, lcd soundsystem will be blessing the greater la area with their apperance on thursday night, october 28th at the echo.

unfornately, i'm in a shitty situation because i have a class on thursday night and i can't miss a class, so i'm asking all of my readers in the greater la area to go in my honor and command you to go absolutely ape poopy during 'yeah'.

now, i'd be completely and utterly depressed if i missed this show, but since i saw james murphy & friends at coachella, i'm okay.

but seriously, if you don't go and you don't have a good excuse as to why you didn't go, then i don't want to be your friend anymore.

neighborhood #3

there are many great words in the english language, such as 'default' and 'free handjobs from victoria's secret supermodel, alessandra ambrosio with purchase of a big gulp,' but now i must add a new one to that particular list, "the power is out. classes have been canceled until 5pm."

sure, i would've love to have gotten a memo of sorts saying that an underground transformer didn't meet more than eye, but instead blew up, creating an old timey vibe on campus similar to what seems to everybody's favorite arcade fire song. yet here's the thing, i lucked the fuck out, god smiled upon me, like she/he/it did on the bo sox. i had a tv project due today and the director was running late, not even finished with all of the elements needed to pull off, so the flop sweat was a brewin'.

i want to point out something that may add an mystical element on this situation, in group, there's a guy from boston. think about it, then do the beat, "drop like it's hot" with your mouth.

and the beauty of th situation is this, its a tv production class and we needed to use cameras and what not and it's so hard to use that equipment when there's no power. when we got the news that the campus police were planning on putting up baracdes, i danced around campus and sang to anybody who walked by: "the power is out, the transformer blew up, class is canceled until 5" yet nobody believed me.

me, i wouldn't lie to anybody. so fuck you, ashton kutcher for making people weary of the truth in whatever form it comes in. i wouldn't dare "punk" anybody because i'm not 12 and my favorite rapper isn't eminem.

so boys & ghouls, the sun is shinning and now i have more time to work on stuff, but most likely, i'll end up reading uncle grambo all day long and think to myself, 'i'll do it a little later, i'll do it a little later.' although, my enjoyment of the free time will become slightly bogged down in my fear of that as soon as i left school, the powe came back on and classes got un-canceled.

talk about an akward moment...

strokes say that maybe it won't be five years until the next album, but don't hold them to it. me, i just don't want to see any more sophie mueller directed videos, even though, the performance was nice.


do i need to come up with a punchline for this? because, this is basically madlibs and i know you're all taleneted enough to come up with your own witty remark.

wow, how uncool is mischa b nowadays? on the blow, can't drive a car, and now she's paid to party for swatch watches with bill gates. where can you even buy a swatch watch these days? at the gas station down the street?

i like it when girls wear paul frank jeans cause it gives you an excuse to check out their backside a couple of times. "oh, who made those jeans?" you look at the booya, and you slyly say, "oh, paul frank. he makes cool stuff."

in other news, if paul franks wants to send me free stuff, he totally can. i can be reached very easily.

i have such a crush on kathleen hanna that it wouldn't allow me to say anything bad about the new le tigre album, "this island," other than the first single, 'the new kicks' was a terrible choice. le tigre isn't trying to re invent the wheel, they're just bringing some more hot fresh rollerskating jawns; pitchfork begs to differ though.

complaints from the bourgeiusue:
-is it just me or do you feel like you're peeing you pants when you turn on your seat heater? i have it on low and all, but i dunno...
-i'm such a designer jeans fiend that i'm even thinking of buying these cause probably, they'd be the only pair of women's pants i could possiblely rock.

and if you haven't heard, hell has frozen over; yankee fans cancel their plans to mail pedro materinez copies of the film, who's your daddy instead, sox fans will send yankee fans copies of the new ted leo album, with a note attached, "listen to track 5 a couple of timese and blame everything on the newly minted a-rod curse."

Oct 20, 2004

shake the sheet

is it much of a cop out when you want to be a character from the film, the warriors for halloween that isn't a baseball fury? it just seems that if you're going to be somebody from that movie, you have to be a member of that gang because everybody other gang is pretty easy to dress as. i want to be an orphan or a punk. not to mention, i would just worry the whole time about being pulled over by the police with that wacky baseball fury make up on while driving to some party.

some hip tips for those in the 949
-if you find sassy and slumin' scene boys & girls attractive, then i highly recommend you head over to your nearest costume castle or just costume shop in general cause their designer jeans just don't grow on tress and you can't just yet buy drugs on credit.
-if you live in this gray area of i want to say from irvine to san clemente, and you're super bored, on the saddleback channel, they're broadcasting a 'charlie rose' steez interview your humble narrator conducted with robin brown. i have no clue as to air times, but it'd probably on for another week.

stereogum has some spongebob jawns by the shins & the lips

so we're in the eye of the freak rainfall, but i can bet you dollars to donuts, that if you go to any school in the 949 and you'll find a girl probably rockin' a wife beater, short skirt, and ugg boots. now, i know that sounds impossible, but i saw it yesterday and i wish i was better at taking sneaky photos.

the bitch in you

"i don't want those umpires to meet anymore because every time they meet, it goes against the yankees."-alex rodriguez how did he ever believe that call was going to be in his favor? sure, i understand his reasoning behind knocking over that jared leto look alike, bronson arroyo, but there would be no way in hell that can would not have been under review. seriously, if the sox take game 7, it's the beginning of the end, dudes.

the only snaps i'll make about "laguna beach" is that i thought about three or four times that morgan was gonna try and make out with christina. morgan reminds me of a character done by anna gasteyer on snl a few years back, the character was a teenaged girl who said the following: "i want to eat christina ricci, so she could be inside of me" or something like that, okay, morgan is totally like that girl. she wants to eat christina, so she could even more closer to her or she wants to be eaten by christina, so she could be that much closer to christina.

judd apatow & steve carell makin' the leap to the big screen together seth rogen, who i hold a spot in my comedy hall of fame for his monologue on "undecleared" on the film, you've got mail is involved in the project as well. its a smart move for apatow to direct his own script for once instead of letting mildly hacky directors (ben stiller) handle his scripts.

ted leo, where have you been all my life? after what seems to be months, if not years of recommendations and good words from missy, i've listened maybe about half of his latest album, "shake the sheets," and its brought me back to those good, up beat vibes that i had on last saturday night, which couldn't make its way through the start of the week, but now, i really believe i could face the rest of my potentially hellacious week. you know ted leo writes some good songs when toby keith fans are digging on it.

contray to this person's thoughts, i have to believe that the fanastic four is looking even more gallagher with each tid bit revealed; the thing looks like a bunch of orange legos; why couldn't they have made it when lawrence tierney was alive and just spray painted him orange instead. we all know that line from dogs.

billboard says that scott herren is nearly complete with the latest prefuse73 album, in addition to a collection of collaborative jawns with the books; personally, i'm eagerly await piano overload, anybody heard anything yet?

gwen's gonna charge an arm & an leg for deluxe editions of her 'jock jams' esque solo record cuz her husband gotta pay child support, y'all

Oct 19, 2004

let your spirit free

this may take some getting used to, but as of this moment and i don't mean to step upon the toes of better writers than i, such as go fug yourself, but what happened to the knightley?

personally, we prefer our knightley to be pale, black and to be easily broken while rocking out to "pull out" by death from above1979.

why did interscope change the game's lead single from "higher" to "fresh '83"? while "fresh '83" is still a good single, "higher" represents the return of a whole entire coast and only lacks a chorus by 50 and to me, the whole throwback to the 80s beats by mainstream rappers is getting played out. game is no missy elliot, so why steal her bread & butter?

keep on livin'

what in the where in the world is carmen sandiego has happened to rachael leight cook? the once super cute starlet is now lookin' like a desperate housewife with crystal gayle hair leaving her job at the native american jewelry store for the pta meeting. uf, if this is what married life does to one, then ladies & germs, then never ever sign me up. or maybe we could place the blame on those cold heart, bitter, angsty hollywood producers, but i'm leaning on marriage, y'all.

so we're in the middle of storm watch 2k4 right now, which in other words, its the time of the year, where we can dress like we live on the east coast for a change. and for once, ugg boots actually make sense but other wise than that, you'll be seein' people wearing north face jackets like it was '94 and they just came up from the 36 chambers.

jeffrey welles' q & a with i heart huckabees director, david o russell; totally not surprised he was influenced by bunuel.

Oct 18, 2004

blood on our hands

is this being too much of an over bearing mother when you start to worry about the well being of celebrities after combing through getty images and not seeing them at any recent events? i've been missing on samaire armstrong and i've started to worry that she's not partyin' anymore. i've left her a couple of voice mails to see how she's doing and you know, if she's still going to parties. does anybody know if she still parties, and by parties, i don't mean the 'druggie' kind of partying, i mean doing sassy poses at the premiere for the latest jerry o'conell snooze fest.

ways to get out of a slump or at least how i got out of my slump this past weekend:
-"fellas style" dinner of steak & lobster with robin brown and my father where he asks about 'booty call' etiquette
-watch david o. russell's i heart huckabees. i liked it, alot. very funny and for my money, the best satire of modern american culture since forever; strictly for nerds who can name check and say 'it reminded me of bunuel's the phantom of liberty and schizpolois'. i yearn to see it again.
-"you're a woman, i'm a machine" by death from above1979. i've been patiently waiting for what seems to be years for their full length; well ever since the first time i saw them. i spent numerous emails to the late light up the sky about when death from above's full length comes, it'll be the best album of the year. so after a couple of listens, i haven't made it past the songs: "blood on our hands" and "black history month," they are the only two songs i've heard in my car this past weekend. i can't tell you why those songs are so good, you have to hear for yourself, but i'll just say that death from above1979 are to indie rock what crunk music is to hip hop, yet there's so much more to them.

it seems that i have a large readership from the east coast, so can anybody tell me if all the girls there are like thisbabe? if so, i'm moving and i may need to get into contact with somebody, so i can sleep on their floor until i get my situation taken care of.

one of the dudes in hot hot heat quits the band; perhaps he finally realized that they were going to be more like u2 and less of a le shok knock off back when they started out.

sure, i sorta understood curtis hanson's decision to direct 8 mile, but why is jim sheridan directing the 50 cent film? jim sheridan directed films like my left foot, which honestly i believe that neither dre, em, or 50 really felt or even ever heard of. somebody better check sheridan's eyes cause i think there might be dollar signs, y'all.

the 7 hottest directors in the biz, right now!, wait, what? was this article written in 1999? are they write about this hot young up & comer orson welles, next week?

for all of you shoegazers, listen to these jams cuz you may enjoy them.

oh, simon le bon, we know where your eyes are and believe you me, we'd look in the same direction or do i mean, erection, if wes was you; how to get that scarlett look, but i've seen so many girls who alot like her; they just don't dress like her.

samaire just called me back and said that she does all her partying at wire image these days. now, i don't have to worry, but she did ask me if i could send some money cause pilot season didn't go so well and she's unsure about the status of "entourage".

Oct 15, 2004

the law of diminishing returns

boys and ghouls, your humble narrator has been strencthed too terriblely thin, this past week. i've said it before that i will let you down from time to time, but the fact is i've just been so drained from other bullshit to string together a couple of sentences about things i love. i would talk some shit, but lil jon says that's for bitches and i'm not bitch.

adult sized ninja costumes, ap style tests, 20 bucks on fake mustaches, 8am weekend calls, 90 straight minutes of listening to one elton john song and parking lot panic attacks are just somethings that've been rockin' my world.

i need a vacation, but i'll take dinner at morton's as a form of temporary relief instead.

as you may have noticed the photo of seth cohen with a guitar, an acoustic guitar. which leads me to wonder, will the geek who turned being 'nerdy' in a mildly bro-ish trait being penning conor obsert-esque jawns about rachel bilson's whomp bompers this season? just imagine the sonic terror. three more weeks, kids.

some may say the best thing vice has done in a while, others may say, just another good thing or they might just say, 'i don't get it' me, i peeped my pants when i read the thing on dave navarro

watch the video for "drop like its hot,". you'll swear its classic hype circa '99, but it's not. not to mention, pharrell instead of having one of the dudes from clipse cameo in the video, release their new album. the lil jon video had better cameos, stevie williams can't fuck with e-40

so bill o'reilly is a total dickhead on tv, but fleding writer for penthouse during his off hours?

already cantankerous old people are getting even more cantaknerous over flu shot baby mama drama i saw an old lady scream at a reporter that the world is going to hell cause she can't get a flu shot. i drobe by a place that was offering flu shots for the elderly and it was really surreal to see a line full of cream colored pant suits and wrinkled skin wrap around a building.

perhaps the last polaroid scene babe for a while; relaunching in november as "thecobrasnake.com"; you know that girl, if you put on like say, "huddle formation" by the go! team, she'll be smashing beer bottles agains the wall and making out with you and when the song is over, she'll go back to some corner and it will have been the best as well as wort three minutes and 11 seconds of your life; she's a sexy little hurricane. you'll be stoked she was in your life, but more bummed about the damage she'll do when she leaves you.

what happened to the mighty mos def? "the new danger" is most definately disappointing. i took the thing out after 8 songs; uf. i don't mind if an artist wants to grow and expand, but just give us a better heads up, that's all. wasn't not fully ready for the power chords. but what happened to the mos def of songs like "thieves in the night" and "climb"? i'd even take the mos def who dropped that lovely verse on kanye's "two words".

jim jones' "on my way to church" is redonklicous, y'all. in particular "jamacian joint," (could we get a video?). i've slept on cam'ron alot in my life, but when i hear him on other peoples' records, he blows my mind. chipmunk soul samples and gun talk, what's not to love about the album?

two things that indie rock needs right now:
-a ratatat remix of death from above 1979;
-either a dfa remix of bloc party or at least, these guys need to be in a studio together, recording something cause it'd be a waste of a concept. call steve aoki asap!

3 easy steps to having your mind blown

step 1-go to lil jon's site

step 2-watch the video for "what u gon do"

well, really it's just two steps, but that video has to be on some crunked out matrix shit.

and how hot is lil scrappy's verse?

jude & sienna are hip to the single, why aren't you?

more later...

Oct 14, 2004

sarah michelle gellar has just learned what a majority of the world is already hip to, how to properly ignore seth green. i saw him at a show once and i swear, even though, mark polariod scene wasn't at that show, but if he was, most people would've been all over polaroid.

updates today may be few and far between, which means that there'll be a second one, but who knows.

frankly, i'm up too early, going to school too early and most likely, i'll be sitting in a class room doing hi pitch eric impressions.

Oct 13, 2004

fahsion is wearable art

i'm trying, ringo. i'm trying really hard not to write about "laguna beach". while it seems that particular show has become my bread & butter, not to mention a source of the majority hits that we receive here. i had it all planned in my head; one thing without mentioning and see how quickly hits fall, but trey and l.c. just had to talk about fashion. could anything less ludacris come out of their mouths. it's like what robert smith said about fashion, "it's all rubbish".

an editorial about the show was written in my school's newspaper and it could not have been a less focused attack on the show. the writer who grew up in laguna, was locked on writing about the rather large gay community of laguna and how these kids are ruining his childhood memories. what a fucking baby. sure, i pissed and moaned about the show when it first came on the scene, but the fact is, it does amazing job of showing what happens in this area, nothing. absolutely nothing ever happens here.

we are a county of rich spoiled kids or at least a high percentage of this area are. so to have a show where a girl goes on a date to an audi dealership doesn't seem that slanderous, if you will. we are shallow, we are void of any interesting thought and we wear ugg boots in 90 degree weather.

speaking of ludacris, apparently, spike jonze was going to direct the video for luda's latest single, but swchedule problems came up. in other words, karen o said no more poonanny if spike directed a luda video.

for those about to head out to the gym..
-fluxblog has the eagerly awaited kylie/scissor sisters collabo; its a new genre, y'all. motivation disco
-stereogum has gwen's new video or as i like to call it, 'gwendtatption' you'll swear it's a la chappelle waste of money, but word around the camp fire its not.

presidental debate tonight, y'all. i wanted to make some joke about a drinking game and the president of poland, but the debate is supposedly alls about domestic issues, so that's out of the picture.

Oct 12, 2004

it's pumpkinninny!

from time to time, i may let you down peeps and this past weekend, i felt that i have. i did not attend the ashlee simpson mall concert, due to the potential size of the crowd. i'm not one to usually shy away due to a crowd, but when the crowd has the potential to be chubby high school girls, i back away (sure, you can make a joke about why do i go to rilo kiley shows since a good percentage of the crowd are chubby high school girls, as well, but the quality of the music makes me stay). i drove by the mall around 11 the night before the show and there were girls camping out in the parking lot of sears. yes, people are that nuts over ashlee simpson; so i could've only assumed the worst for the event. f.u.b.a.r. has photos of ashlee in pants that "chunk" from the goonies would wear.

eva longoria is haunting me these days. her show smacks of effort, but it's enjoyable. well, at least the twenty minutes of it, i watched; john waters meets david lynch, but only not as good as that team up could be.

so it's just me, entertainment weekly, and pitchfork who thinks eminem has lost his bite with his latest single? not that i'm the biggest em-er in the world, but i believe it was a better writer than i, who said that the d-12 single, "my band" was a weird al song without weird al, and i want to say that "just lose it" is another weird al song as well. my question is why does em continue to release this horrible lead singles? is that his core fan base are mondo retardo and need a jawn that they can dance to with a catchy chorus that they screamed at their 3rd period english teacher?

i remember when "the marshall mathers lp" came out. it was senior year and the last week of school, kids with cd burners were selling bootlegs out of their cars at lunch. so just imagine, goofy white kids in giant dc sneakers bumping eminem out of their bmw, sitting in the truck charging 5 bucks for a cd. gosh, weren't the early 2000s great?

don't mean to go all 'craig list' on you, but i have shout sumthing out quickly.
-where: in front of the blood brothers' merch booth at the el rey on oct. 8th
-you: sandy blonde hair, just moved out here from georgia
-me: goofy guy in green shirt talking about short people and venues in the la area
felt a spark, but i get distracted easily by short girls with sassy pony tails, so that could explain the lapse in conversation, but let's give it another try!

anybody know if the new mos def album is any good? i've heard mixed things and wasn't throughly impressed when i saw mighty mos a week or two ago on letterman. what happened to my second favorite mc?

can mtv pleave envoke some logan's run style of rules on the new road rules/real world. come on, peeps, it's time to go to carousel; i'm looking at you, coral, the miz, rachel,veronica, and eric nies, amongst others. it's over, please move on with your life. quit hogging up all the screen time from vastly superior real worlders like brad & randy and angela from road rules. you guys sucked the first time you were on the real world, what makes you believe that you're going to be any more interesting seven years later? it's time, kids, it's time. there should be a limit of three; you do them and you're done forever with anything remotely related to the real world or road rules. you know how there's age limits on those who get into the real world house, it should be the same for the competitions or at least move the cut off age to 28 and then you're through. i don't want to be wasting my time trying to spy some angela bath suit action while alls i'm getting is the same old bullshit from coral that i've been getting for four years now. we get it, you start fights and call people 'bitches', guess what? angela cries alot and has a pretty good hair, which makes her more interesting. peace means see ya later, coral.

Oct 10, 2004

too crazy to care

on friday night, i attended the blood brothers/against me! show at the el rey with lauren taylor and natali hopkins. for the purtists, set list:
-"trash flavored trash"
-"fucking's greatest hits"
-"feed me"
-"birth skin"
-"5 to 1" (a doors cover)
-"beautiful horses"
-"teen heat"
this marked the second time i saw the blood brothers this year and sounded good and played with alot of energy, but it felt a bit rushed. apparently, the blood brothers were trading closing slots with against me! and i went the night that the blood brothers were playing second bananna to bro punk sounds. the crowd was an odd mix as i stood next to some meathead with a marine haircut and a beer in one hand who seemed to be enjoying the sets, but under any circumstances, like if it was high school, he would've beaten up the blood brothers. these two bands didn't make sense together. if the bill was say, blood brothers and moving units, i would've understand or blood brothers and death from above, i would've understand, but a band on fat mike's label and the blood brothers, i don't understand. cute little girls who look like sofia coppola should be able to dance without a fear of being molested at the show, but i saw dudes tryin' to cop a feel.

celebs spotted at the show:
-cedric zavala of the mars volta; i've seen him one other time, at a subtitle show and think he was wearing the same outfit that time as this time.
-steve aoki; last time, i saw the blood brothers, steve was there, but he was hanging out with nick zinner, this time, he was just taking pictures. i wanted to tell him a simple thanks for bringing bloc party to america.
-mark polaroid scene; he's actually a nice guy and perhaps your humble narrator could be found here; el rey babes

on tuesday, "crimes" comes out and if you can get past the screaming of jordan & johnny as well as the oddly higher pitch of johnny's voice, then "crimes" is one of the best albums of the year. they have taken a step forward from last year's great, "burn piano island burn" and expanded upon their sound, like the title cut, "crimes". its an imensely visual and well structured song as crazy as it sounds, there are attempts at melodies. "peacock skeleton with crooked feathers" is an oddly dancey little number that runs laps like a eight year old after he drank jolt cola. the blood brothers represent that shape of punk to come that refused spoke of, so many years ago.

mandy moore & zach braff, a couple? so apparently, alls it takes to get into the sevens of a mandy moore and/or natalie portman type, is to direct a film that heavily bites the style of hal ashby? mothertrucker, sign me up!

the real life versions of people from linklater's dazed & confused are filing a lawsuit. what a bunch of weiners! if i was the basis for a character in one of the best films of the 90s, i'd be super stoked. its a shame that i've only seen dazed & confused one time and that one time was in the 6th grade and i saw it with my dad, yet oddly, we both laughed alot, unsure if it was at the same jokes though.

i walked away from dig! thinking that courtney taylor is a hack and anton newcombe truly is a mad genius. thankfully, newcombe has put a majority of his music on line, can be found here because i oddly enough became a fan of his music. the footage of the bjm's performances are so of the most beautiful car accidents, i've ever seen; in part, you want newcombe to succeed to a degree, yet at the same time, you want him to get into a fight or tangent about how his band will destroy the world. i'm sure if timoner's goal of the film was to show both taylor and newcombes as failures or just how newcombe is self desctructive with dillusions of grandior but, it's a vastly entertaining film either way. i admire timoner's decision to make david la chapelle look like the over rated hack that he is; i mean $400,000 for that video? did half the budget go up his nose? the film made me miss the days where one could wear bug eyes glasses and be cool as opposed to being some sort of bono wanna be.

Oct 7, 2004

a fat guy in a t-shirt doing all the singing

dude, everybody wants to be like ultra grrrl these days. next thing you know, nicole and nicky will have their own action adventure series, "nic & nic," which would basically use old scripts from "simon & simon", but with more costume changes.

dude, ryan yugioh is on so many drugs or one big drug known as life, which he gets on high every day of his life. pitchfork on ryan cabrera

beans gets locked up, y'all look for rocawear to make "free beans" shirts in the next coupla weeks.

at least, the angels have company for their misery, dodgers are down by 2 as well i partially blame myself for the west coast's downfall this week. i got terriblely too excited about the return of california, with "laguna beach" and the game and well, boys & ghouls, we were destined to fail or destructed like the libertines.

the blood brothers at the el rey, friday night! drop down and get your eagle on!

honesty in motion

here's your semi regular, polaroid scene dot com babe o' the day; you just know that this girl is thinkin' "yeah, i'm gonna be on polariod scene, then i'm gonna be written about by some nerdy shut in on his blog. i'm gonna toot my horn, two times for this, honk! honk!"

dude, the halos are self destructing and alls i can say is, "what the fudge?!?" and since when was chone figgins all 'david spade' and shit; memo to artie moreno for this off season: re sign glaus and spend the rest of your money on better starting pitching; the bullpen is like a solid gold dancer back in the day, but the starters are like a solid gold dancer today

at least torii hunter is makin' us smile during the playoff, shame their series is knots.

i believe that the blogosphere has affected my creative process. unsure for good or for durst as of yet. in tv, i pitched two ideas for this visual project. one was to chronicle the downfall of brit-brit set to "not a girl, yet not a woman" and the other was to the chronicle to the feud between lohan, duff, and avaril set to that one song from battle royale. i dunno.

Oct 6, 2004

...oh yeah...

fluxblog has a new super ear delicious lcd soundsystem jawn for y'all

this is what happens when you sorta sleep on that site. you'll miss some amazing lcd soundsystem song, like i almost did.

it's so standard

on tuesday afternoon, your humble narrator played "cameron frye" along with robin brown's "ferris" and natali hopkins' "sloane peterson" and caught the openning game of the angels/red sox series. the less said about the game, the better (for those who don't know the out come, click here), but let's just say this, figgins lost his edge, washburn lost his edge back in august and nobody could hit schilling if he was throwing beach balls). while, the game was not the most bestest game to watch, i learned something.

if you're a boston red sox fan, then you may wanna scroll down to the bit about "laguna beach," because i will not speak kindly of your brethren. now we all know the stereotypes about boston fans, which were perfectly personifed by jimmy fallon and rachel dratch. they're loud, violent, and drunk. in other words, red sox fans are, if you will, the red necks of the east coast. sure, one can say all they want about guidos or guys from jeresey, but there's a certain thing about red sox fans. they walk around the baseball stadium even before the game has started with the shirts off and a six pack already under their belt. these people miss half the game because they are in line for beer, so often. and their women, well, they got better mustaches than me. transplant boson fans are worse than dodgers fans, they leave like in the 5th inning.

back to baseball for a minute, as we left the game, i was singing the chorus of lcd soundsystem's "yeah" and robin brown said that he'd probably have that song as walking to the plate song. for me, i'd probably pick ice cube's verse from "straight outta compton"

a star was born last night on "laguna beach". her name is lo, and please learn to love her now, because hopefully we'll be seeing more of her in their near future. her voice rings of hope and optimism which has been greatly lost in the past few years, in particular when she was at the beach, trying to get reception: "doesn't my phone know i need to make a call?" or when she talks about her jawns: "i like more upbeat, fun music".

yet last night's episode of "laguna beach," continued on what, if you allow me to quote stephen, "so standard" for the show, nothing happened, other than a hot shot of kirstin in a bikini on the beach (ps. can we get a kirstin swimsuit calander?). the show only leaves you with questions that can never be answered like, who are the people that name their child, talan? or is it just a nick name and where exactly are the parents of laguna beach? and how much bullshit are you filled with when you create a non profit group called 'active young americans' with no clear agdena other than 'party & bullshit'?

i doubt that the show will pick up on my new favorite fad in the oc right now: ugg boots and louis vuitton bags, cuz it'd be so rude.

stern goes to sirius, which is a mixed blessing for me, since i'm a sternaholic and my car has sat radio, but its xm. so guess what's on the top of my christmas list in '05 y'all?

stereogum has some new handsome boy modeling school for your ears

much respect to rodney dangerfield. you have made us laugh so times over and every time that episode of "the simpsons" comes on, i pee my pants. journey's "any way you want it" will never be the same.

apparently, in new york city, babes just hang out in time square rockin' slacks & bros. another reason to move there.

and here's the worst photo i've seen, ever

Oct 4, 2004

police & thieves

a new season of "made" starts on wednesday and once again, the producers ignored and rejected my videos and letters. my made would be no different than the nerdy, over weight white girl who wants to become a sassy black girl or the girl who buys her clothing at comic book store that wants to be made into a beauty queen to impress a sk8er boi; if anything it would be a combo of the two.

your humble narrator wants to be made into a person in their 20s with actual sense of ambition and determintion. this show doesn't tackle the very necessary issue of those who still live in the basements of the parents' home. those people don't need the scare straight tatics of dr phil and how his constantly threats of turning people into public urinals, they need fancy editing and a soundtrack of 50 cent and good charolette. hand holding and free diesel jeans will motivie a 20 something to do something other than going to the good will for the most choice ironic t-shirt.

then again, i wouldn't mind being made into a personal assitant. i think that after my of years of education, somehow it'll end up getting the coffee of somebody's son and cleaning up the mess of the previous night with a hooker. so why not provide yours truly with some on the job training, perhaps from robert evans as my made coach. step one would be to get a tan and pick out a power cowboy tie. step two, power tanning and power lunching, and probably the third step would be a training session where i'd probably have to be david spade's assitant for a day and try my hardest not to tazer his ass.

oddly enough, i was about to write about the wacky, david lynch esque happening that have been going down on my neighborhood the past couple adays and somehow work in a reference to the film, deadly friend and being killed by a basketball, when a gang of black & whites are camped out in front of my house, arresting my subject. so that whole joke trolley is sorta on its way to land of unfinished, bad jokes.

food for thought: "laguna beach" is the west coast version of "rich girls"; l.c. is a slightly hotter version of ally without the drug problem or at least that we know of yet and christina, morgan, and, lo are the unattractive, very uinteresting versions of jaime gleicher. lets hope l.c. has a break down while trying to make a mexican themed party.

mark david chapman should never ever be paroled, for as much as most may not want to side with yoko, she's right on this one.

fuck ben affleck and his red sox; go halos!

taking tuesday off, see ya on wednesday, y'all.

can we all collectively call 'bullshit' on david spade and tell him to go away forever

wake up, the west coast is back!

first, southern california is the home to the best new reality show, "laguna beach," then we got two teams mixing it up in the pennant race, and now we're the home to the game. with the leaking of his potential first single, "higher," the game re introduces the hip hop community to the west coast. after years of producing nerdy back pack groups who've been making the same album for the past 5 years or hip hop for goofy white kids and old folks, the game comes on the scene with a sinister dr. dre beat. while i'm sure if it will have the massive cross over appeal of 50's "in da club," "higher" follows the same lyrical pattern. catchy hook and enough name drops, you would think you're at lotus on a friday night. hip hop site does an excellent job of writing up the rest of the similarities between the two singles.

although, what a majority have said about this single, is dre's sly announcement of the return of "detox". perhaps game has brought back the old bad boy in dre; maybe game can work the same wonders on ice cube for his next album or at least ghost write it. ice cube's latest

speaking of the west coast, anybody else notice that in theory, the crips and the bloods are in the pennant race. think about it. not to mention, who ever came up with the schedule is mondo retardo and most likely named gallagher.

i'm not one to tell people how to do their jobs (then why do i have a blog?), but if i was adam mckay, i would look into buying the rights to maureen dowd's "bushworld" and turn into what could be one of the funniest films ever made. ferrell as g.w., darrell hammond as dick channey and rumsfield; i'm already buying my ticket.

i believe that i may have to start a feature here at the old skeet shoot, the ubiquitous reference to some babes at polaroid scene can be found here; if all new york city babes, look this, i'm moving post haste and i'm going to have ja rule's "livin' it up" as my new theme song.

dude, who would've thought that your humble narrator, a devoted jimmy fallon hater, would write on a monday morning that this past weekend's s.n.l. was sorely missing his endearing line flubs and laughs at his own jokes? seriously, this season is going to be worst than that season with chris elliott and frankly, if i'm going to have to live with seth myers' impression of john kerry for the next 4 years, i may just throw my vote and vote for bush. memo to tina fey and amy pohler, leave now before your talent gets wasted like maya rudolph's or you'll end up playing the pregnant hispanic lady in every other sketch too.

remember hipsters: bloc party tonight at spaceland; seriously, you're gonna be on fire.

Oct 2, 2004

hoping for a freeway series...

angels win the west


the dodgers win the west, as well.

while, we may not be the biggest dodgers fans and we will most certainly not turn into dodger fans during the playoffs, but that 9th inning had to have been some of the most intense baseball since the end of the angels' game, about 20 minutes earlier. since that angels game was as equally nail bitting and crazy. the halos lucked out when the a's manager who looks like larry david fudged up and took out barry zito.

the dodgers win will place a big shadow over the angels victory, which is utterly gallagher, since the angels are vastly superior team. better pitching, better hitting, better fielding and i'll bet you dollars to donuts that the angels have better walk up to the plate music, while adam kennedy may be out for the season, the dude walked to the plate on a crunk tip. what does the dodgers walk up to? william hung. i don't know about you, but that spells out, g-a-y! to me.

so while i would like to say, congrats to the dodgers, i feel more comfortable saying, fuck the dodgers, let's go halos!

ps. bring on the yankees, but we'd like to see pedro and his dwarf; watch him dance here and his bio here

Oct 1, 2004

young pilgrams

ever have one of those moments where you've just saw something so profound, significant, and moving to you, but when you go to explain this moment to anybody else, you feel utterly stupid and creepier than perry farrell.

at that point right now, kids. i want to believe i have made some profound insight into the world in which i live, simply based on the neighborhood babe dying her hair a chocolate brown color. for a babe of that caliber to from trademark california blonde to dark brown, only points to one thing i want to say about the world i live in.

and by world, i mean, the oc. perhaps its first impact being felt from mtv's expose into the real oc, since amajority of the girls on that phoney show are blonde and come off as rather shallow, all of the blondes that are cool, are dying their hair brown nowadays. nobody wants to be like kristin, everybody wants to be like summer

i'm just imagining a line wrapping around the paul mitchell school or a place like toni & guy of all these blonde girls waiting to get their dyed, all the while, zach braff's favorite band, the shins' "young pilgrams" plays on somebody's ipod.

the oc will slowly be defined not necessarily by its sun kissed blondes in expensive shades, short skirts and ugg boots, but by our brunettes in expensive shades and ugg boots.

yet, the brunettes already owned this place. maybe, most girls are realizing that, "yeah, i'm so much hotter with brown hair and blue eyes and i can now be labeled as 'scene'."

for as good as michael ian black's stint as a guest host stint on the late, late show was, i'm throwing all of my support behind steve harvey as a replacement. one, he would be the best dresser in late night since he makes his own suits and all and look at that mustache, its beautiful. late night needs a mustache more than it needs a female talk show host. steve harvey would probably be one of the most honest talk show hosts because he'd probably tell somebody that their movie sucked or how awesome earth, wind & fire are.

as much as i want to not like the polaroid scene, i have to show my love and respect when they got babes like this and like that; all of those babes are sorta like black sheeps' "choice is yours" you could get with this or you could get with that, but either one is pretty phat.

alls, i have to say about rem is this for a supposed liberial band, they certainly aren't acting like one since clear channel is sponsoring their tour and all. never liked rem, anyways.

the dfa sign a deal with emi with plans to release a second comp in november with a brand new lcd soundsystem jawn its entitled "on repeat"; if anybody has any mp3, i won't say anything unless you say something.

the lost science of observational humor

boys & ghouls, i have some big news. your humble narrator has gotten into college. after sluming at saddleback for a long time, i'm moving onto cal state fullerton, unless i get into chapman, y'all.

so yeah, i don't have to sweat anything for a while nowadays. it'll be a constant struggle to maintain a b average, which sadly may be difficult. i only say that in part of a tv production teacher, because everything has to be professional and spot on for her. i highly doubt the term, 'experimental' or the expression, 'we were just having fun' easily come out of her mouth. you see, thats why we're in school, we're supposed to be learning and experiment with tv production. thats what education is all about.

yet when tuesday morning comes around, the class room will become some sad varation on the board room from "the apperciate," where i'll be defeanding my production and trying not to throw people under the bus. it can be easy to name names and point fingers, but the fact is this we're all learning and its sad that somebody is at a lost to find airable programning for the local cable channel. why not put pressure on tv production 2 or tv 3 to fill the void in your line up? i think what will be my down fall is that i'll strive for all of the pieces i create to be unairable by the professor's definations. but why would you to air two stiff, boring interviews that lack any energy as opposed to one that does have energy and is unusual.

its great leap to compare one's self to the cassavetes, but i have a greater understanding of the man. and if he was in community college, he would've probably gotten a c.

oh, george, you blew it!

what's the deal with girls named "maggie" totally be exactly like the rod stewert song, "maggie may"? and why does everybody name their little dog after the song as well? and doesn't everybody know a girl with blonde hair that sorta looks like rod stewert?

speaking of dogs, me and my dog were terrorized this morning by a chihuahua. it just followed us down the street when we were on a walk, trying to hang out with us. yeah, i know we're super cool and all and we listen to howard stern, but the fact, we can't hang with the insurance issues or potential lawsuits.