&t skeet on mischa: 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Jan 27, 2005

the perils of believing in shapes

the worst part of working on peoples' movies is that somehow, at the end of the day, my hands end up smelling like starbucks and i don't even drink coffee.

somebody please pass the memo down to the band, tussle to make a longer version of the song, "fire is hot." a minute just isn't long enough, like five minutes would be really good for me.

what's with a cute girl and a girly pair of sensible shoes that's just so appealing? oh, that's right, they don't look like they're high maintenance and you could probably park your car a couple of blocks down from where you wanted to go and walk over, instead of driving around a couple of times and end up nicking somebody's car while parralleling parking.

Jan 25, 2005

sittin' on chrome

i'm sorry to say this, but i honestly believe that jamie foxx has pulled woolen over the eyes of academy award voters; ray as a best picture nominee? ray? the movie that looks like a biopic from the lifetime channel is a best picture nominee? where is paul giamatti? homeboy has been robbed. viciously robbed. jamie foxx nominated twice in one year, what are you guys doing? you're creating an ego monster that the world has yet to see since julia roberts and her veiny forehead? what? no house of flying daggers as best foreign film? you're gonna just nominate a bunch of goofy films about european musicians coming to grips with their musicial side and not one of the most beautiful films of all time? the passion for best cinematography? that film looked like mudd; if you wanna reward michael mann's collateral, give it's groundbreaking cinematography a nod; not jamie foxx; why do i feel it was pretty kosher that clint eastwood and kate winslet recieved nominations for their acting work, but paul giamatti was robbed and scorsese will probably win an award for a boring film when he should've already won two times before, like in '81 and '91 for you know little art films called raging bull and goodfellas, but then again what do i know? film students are the worst film critics

i'm not sure if this is one of those things that i should wait to see what exactly the go fug yourself girls say. it just doesn't make any sense for brooke burns to 'selma blair' up her look. isn't this drastic of a haircut gonna split her fan base mostly made up of frat dudes and wiener kids who are scared of buying real porn, so they subscribe to maxim? is it a feudal attempt to make her long more 'edgey' ? is she going after a part in the new hal hartley film, so her and her glam squad thought it'd be really cool, hip, and daring if they go with a haircut that makes her look like an distrungled russian woman who works at fanastic sam's and wears a wig to work because even she is unsatifised with her own haircuts?

there have been these ads for a mentoring program all over my tv lately featuring jessica alba urging people to become mentors and what not. so here's my thing, is it possible for a guy like me who, let's face it could use a great deal of mentoring and guidance, to have jessica alba as my mentor? i could really use a girl like her as my mentor because she could teach a whole mess of things like how to talk to a babearaus and whether or not ladies of her nature enjoy an evening at tony romas followed a couple of frames at the bowling alley on discount night (wednesday night after 9p, dudes, hollla!).

watch the video for lcd soundsystem's excellent "daft punk is playing at my house" videohere

a tivo tip: tlc's "town haul" which is basically lars von trier's dogville meets "extreme makeover: home edition" minus the over caffinated ty pennington and anit american antics, which has been replaced by people who have been made project managers who never show up because the store they work is being reinovent and they need to feed their kids and the store manager just won't let it slide.

if anybody was wondering what happened to ozma? remember that weezer cover band that sang songs about natalie portman? well they broke up and now, some of them are in a new band called yes dear; i assume it's more of that nerdy, pop punk sound.

topher. brody. come on, dudes, the offer is still on the table. look at how delicious that burger is? don't you just want to eat that in a couple of minutes followed by a large plate of fries and a couple of cookies-n-cream flavored drumsticks?

and with that said, boys & ghouls, your humble narrator will be taking the next few days off. to be technical and really specific, i'll be back in february. i got myself a couple of early mornings and just as many late nights coming up and i figure it'd be in my best interest, but more or less, it'd be in the better interest of the people who have kindly asked me to do some p.a. work on their, big, super important senior films. so to anybody who works in studio city, be on the prowl for me wandering your city in my car, cursing it and probably in the middle of a panic attack cause i had trouble parking at your local starbucks. so if you see me, tell me that it's all right, ted leo style and just to breathe and it'll all be over soon enough.

Jan 24, 2005

this beard is for siobhan

i would've wrote something on friday, but i was feelin' gonna tobey maguire like and well, me and my army of handlers believed it would be in our bestest interest, if i layed low, snoop dogg style for a smidge.

r.i.p. johnny carson.

hey who else is bummed about that smiths coachella reunion show not being true? i sorta am only cause i wanted to pitch a project to mtv. it would've been one of those days in life of things, you know: 'true life: i'm a hispanic greaser whose in love with morrisey' (for more, read here) i wonder if that smiths kid is bummin', but i bet he's already onto some miles davis/mars volta, jazz prog rock fusion thing that i can't even fully wrap my head, let alone my ears around, yet.

indie rock eva longoria aka the future mrs. skeet on mischa strikes again; way to be jail bait, baby

the patriots=the yankees of football? i don't watch much football, but every time, i seem to, the pats are in the super bowl or every single call goes in their favor, so i'm just saying this, 'tainted title,' and you draw your own conclusions on the matter.

for indie/emo/hip/cool kids who are ballin' on a budget, may i direct to best buy for your purchase of "i'm wide awake, it's morning" & "digital ash in a digital urn" by bright eyes for eight bucks a piece. unsure, if conor has set up a deal with best buy where if you buy both albums, you get another best buy exclusive cd of b-sides much like they did with anchorman with that extra disc of thirty minutes of cut scenes that after watching realized they were cut for a reason.

dear kasabian,

you have to be the most pretenious band in the history of the whole wide world. to have the nerve to say that your sound is "the rolling stones at a rave," when basically you sound like the song, "block rockin' beats" by the chemical brothers, only not as good. and fuck your faux rebel, guerilla warfare look you have, which you stole from probably the worst godard film of his new wave era, les carabiniers.

hip hop site has called the game's album, "the documentary," a 'masterpiece' (read the review here) and alot of the other review have been mostly favorable, which i understand. the production on the album is really amazing, in particular kanye west's production on "dreams," but the game name drops just as badly as a 40 year old guy with thinning hair at the sky bar in conversation with some girl fresh off the stupid bus or like craig kilborn at crunch fitness center. i don't need to hear about eric wright on every other line; just bring back the west coast by being scary and thugged out. i mean look what happened to ice cube, he wrote such classics as 'fuck tha police' and now, he's the star of the number 1 movie, a pg road comedy about two bratty kids.

i'm wondering if "the o.c." creator, josh schwartz is throwing in this marisa/alex lesbo story line in an attempt to beat the potential adult film paradoy people behind "sopornos"(nsfw) & "the ozporns"(nsfw) to the punch? are you dreading the inevitable porno spoof, "the porn.c.,"? dude, just listen to the ultramagnetic mcs and ease back.

speaking of "the oc," and while i'm at, i hope that i'm not about to step upon the toes of the people behind save topher because they are doing something really great right here. i'm just putting this out there, but topher grace and adam brody, i'm worried about you dudes. you're basically skin and bones, which seems rather difficult for adam brody to pull off since he wears about 45 t-shirts at one single time. topher, you look if you weigh as much as a fifth grade girl.

you see, we don't need horrible shows like celebrity fit club, we need shows like celebrity eat a 1 pound double six dollar burger from carl's jr club. so i'm just putting this out, topher grace and adam brody, you need to put some meat on the bones and i'll help you out. i'll glandly pay for a couple of double king burgers from fatburger, so you dudes can learn the beauty and joy that comes from eating hamburgers on a regular basis. i'm not saying this to get attention or to meet you guys, because why would i want to meet dudes; i already know enough dudes. i'm just worried, that's all.

Jan 20, 2005

end of the road

project runway's melissa has got to go. it's not because she's foxy, it's cause she's 16 fucking years old. i feel like i'm going to get arrested by the cops when i watch her walk down the runway, shaking her ass in a thong or as she shakes it in an attempt to get the attention of richard johnson in some bar. can melissa, the hot model go back home to regular high school and deal with writing a paper on "a tale of two cities," whether or not if brad, who drives the mustang will ask her to the dance, and if she'll make the varsity volleyball team. i can only assume that come down factor from living a life where you have to learn new ways to lose vincent gallo's phone number every night and living off a diet of cigarettes could be rather difficult, but come on, there's just something rather illegal about the matter. melissa, the hot model go home and deal with zits and wearing abercombie jeans, not drinking mimosas with dame dash and angelina jolie's weird, mohawk baby and wearing clothing that costs more than the home she was raised in.

speaking of "project runway," why did alexandra design a bikini with a brazilian cut bottom? while most latina mammies like alexandra have enough cushion behind 'em to rock that particular look. where as model mammies don't really have that going on for them. that line: "the looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand" will never be applied to them anytime soon.

napoleon director, jared hess' snacktaluar video for the postal service's "we will become silhouettes"; i thought i'd hate to be the guy who puts up the money for hess' next film, but on a second thought, you'd make so money on it, especially in dvd sales. i mean, i have no idea if legit, real actors, not a bunch of plucky kids lookin' for stuff to put on their demo reels could handle being in a gigantic stick, kitschy coma for a two month period.

david fincher to make another serial killer film, which is a mixed blessing because fincher is finally making another movie that'll be a bit gritty and dark, yet at the same time, he'll try to commercialize it out like he did with panic room and what not. i just hope him and cinematographer, darius khondji cause they're like chocolate and peanut butter, two tastes that go great together.

big tigger out as the host of bet's "rap city" and replaced by some weiner kid who dresses like the dj from the ellen show. i mean, how is going to interview somebody like mjg or crime mobb when, from what i saw of the new dude, barely knows anything about trick daddy dollars? bring back tigga and his unibrow!

you know how there's fringe scene guys? basically, they're caught between the gray area of alternative rock and indie rock. they'll tell you their two favorite bands are incubus & the strokes and how they dug that one modest mouse song, yet they're still into system of a down. so these guys if they want to be full fledge indie rock, they need to met the right girl, and it's probably this girl. so like six months from now, they'll have broken up, but he'll leave the relationship with a collection of vinyl featuring my bloody valentine's "loveless" and the plot to blow up the eiffel tower as well as an ipod chock full of goblin soundtracks and broken social scene b-sides.

dudemeisters, even though, it sucks that bush is back in office again, but always remember, there's something far more worse than his inauguration, like watching a dharma and greg marathon, a clockwork orange, style.

Jan 19, 2005

hold me down

for as much as i like vh1, but i'm going to have to pull the bullshit card on them. while it still remains too soon to do another i love the 90s special, but that's not the problem. the problem is the people who have been chosen to comment on the show. i'm sorry but it's total bullshit that olmypic medal winner, kaitlin sandeno is on the show. that girl went to my high school and believe you me, she's not funny. the only funny thing she did was when me and robin brown booed her as she won homecoming queen cause she was in the 2000 olympics. it's total bullshit.

picking her to comment makes as much sense as having celebrity stylist and dude who's kicking himself for not taking that 'queer eye' gig philip bloch talk about bad music. although, i'd probably say the dude isn't that bummed these days about passing on 'queer eye for the straight guy' but early on, i bet he was.

anybody in the nyc here looking for an internship? cause burning angel is look for interns(nsfw); too bad it's only new york cause i am familiar with both final cut pro and photoshop and my college is really into computers and stuff like that.

i never really knew why i picked the college i did, aside from it being close to home and somewhat cheap. yet, i realized the other day that i probably went with cal state fullerton because it was mentioned in my favorite song by tha alkaholiks. it may not sound like best endorsement for a school, but there's just something about tash rappin' about how you'll learn more from his songs then you will at cal state fullerton.

although, if you can get that internship at burning angel, you could probably hang out with her.

portishead is back, dudes; only a couple of years late, but whatevs

you see these babes dispute my theory of a total babearaus rolls with a couple of average lookin' girls to increase their hotness factor, but all of these babes are cute and they're all rollin' around together. then again, these girls look like the oldest one would be about 15; there's the rub.

and with wittism like that, i wonder why i have no female readers?

people talk about blogs as if they're legit forms of journalism and use expressions like 'the bloggers' bill of rights' aka a bunch of weiner kids talkin' seriously about how they write serious issues with a slight spelling errors here and there.

m83 to play coachella[via burned by the sun]

have your ever had that moment where somebody from far away, yells out 'hello' and waves in your general direction, but you don't know if it's for you or not, then you believe it's not for you, yet the person is still waving, so you look around, confused, then finally the person that was being waved at emerges and you go back to your daily routine. okay, so i had a moment like that the other day, but i shared it with a small child. me and this child looked at each other confused and befundled as this girl who got out of this car, which is systematically being deconstructed in order to be on an episode of "pimp my ride" yells out 'hey' and waves in the direction of me and the child. now, the child was on the right side of the street and he just stare over in the direction of the girl as she waved, then i turn around to see if the greeting was for me, but i can't tell who it is. so i sheepishly stick my hand up, but in more of a strenching fashion, just to protect myself from embarassement. the child just stands there and looks at the girl as she continues to wave in our direction. i look at the child, who is looking back at me and we're sorta of telepathically telling each other, 'i don't know her, do you?' eventually, the girl walks away and i still remain confused as to who she was saying hi to.

Jan 18, 2005

this is my two brim hat, call me sherlock holmes

i was gonna update today, but...

my 'excellent' service provider wouldn't let me get on line


i went to amoeba today, so i could be even cooler and listen to even more electic music, so i can be like hiliary duff and say, "i listen to everything". so check me out as i bump the game and feist all about the o.c., bitch.


i took my dog on a walk and she ate a dead bird, so now i'm just waiting for her to pass it. eeeewwwww, gross, i know, huh?

did ya see our homegirl samaire armstrong go wild? i know, i was sorta bummed, too.

Jan 17, 2005

rats off to ya

either i've given you enough of a head's up or you're gonna be super mad at me for the lateness in the head's up, but the blogosphere's favorite canadian band that isn't made up of members from other canadian bands or whose members date osbournes, the arcade fire will be on morning becomes eclectic with nic harcourt at 11:15am; check out, live performances and most likely a better interview than the one that la times music critic, robert hilburn did on them that ran in the sunday paper. so if you're not sick of them or missed any of the la shows like i did, check it out.

not to mention, that the performance will probably be on their site a couple of days after its initial airing.

don't forget to check out the cinema social tonight at the lab in costa mesa. japanese food, babes, and short films, how can you go wrong? as an added bonus, if they show the credits on any of these films, you may see your humble narrator's name buried, buried very deep.

sure, i would like to say that natalie portman's acceptance speech was great at the golden globes, last night. but the thing is, there was a new episode of "arrested development" on and well, i'd rather watch the best show on television and laugh myself silly instead of some dude's shotty direction who'd most likely cut to unnecessary close up of jamie foxx during somebody who has nothing to do with him's speech. if i wanted to check out what anybody was wearing, i got getty images, wire image, and go fug yourself for that, dudemeisters.

on a related note, i'd would say that natalie portman should've won an award for her work in ted demme's beautiful girls cause that's her best performance.

golden globe flip flops:
-somebody better call the hot cops and arrest evangeline lilly
-bigs up to terri hatcher for calling herself: "a has been".
-now that elektra tanked at the box office, will jennifer garner go away for a while? because i don't know if i can stand to watch another episode of "lost" with a commerical for her film followed by a promo for the brand new season of "alias"; too much at one time, baby. just ease back and lay low like your pledge master of a boyfriend
-i'm still don't get that portia de rossi is a lesbain like the way i don't get how that dude for the jets missed two field goals on saturday. i mean this totally changes that incident when this girl who sorta looked like portia de rossi said 'suck me sideways' to me
-i guess this sorta explains why we haven't seen phoebe cates since drop dead fred
-mischa b. tries to drop it like it's hot
-hey g-unit, first off, you look like a valet or a waiter for the thing and secondly, you hosted one of the worst episodes of 'snl' that me eyes has ever seen. although, i'll say that the rest of "that 70s show" cast is the new peter scolari
-you were robbed, dude. thomas haden church's performance in sideways will go down as one of the all time great comedic performances
-oh, kristin davis, will you be my mrs. jones? can we met every day at the same cafe. six thirty and no one will know you're there
i wonder if emmy rossum watches "super milk chan" and eats cookies & cream flavored drumsticks? cause that'd be cool if she did

i can sorta guess what that lady is thinkin' about eva longoria: "what a bitch"

and something for your ears, boys & ghouls, madlib 's mix on friday night flavas from about a week or two ago new quasimoto record in a couple of months.

Jan 14, 2005

t and me

seeing this highlight on the news last night brought that one kelly clarkson song to mind. you know that she sang when she won:

some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

kobe spares his ankle, yet the lakers win without him. perhaps i'm in the moral minority or i'm a bit too malicious, but frankly, i'm gland that kobe is going to be out for a while; i wish it could be the rest of the season and in some mondo bizzaro twist of fate, we'll get shaq and d. fish back on the team and rudy t would disappear as if he's richie cunningham's brother. if that episode of "curb your enthusiasm" had been about kobe, people would've been giving larry david high fives and hand jobs all the live long day.

speaking of larry david, don't forget to pick up your curb... season 3 dvdon tuesday, if you have that dispole income and live off the dvd releases of hbo shows cause you can't afford hbo, like me.

homey boy is so stoked right now because he found the first, truly, most awesomest babe of the '05. she doesn't need layers upon layers of make up to impress us or some crazy hair do that made a big dent into the ozone layer; you could go out dancing on a sunday and she'd be the one that'd suggest heading home early to catch "tom goes to the mayor". and while we can't see it, but the dude is saying plenty about her shoe game, it's all good..

then there are babes who are so innocent that they call their moms as they're being photographed by the cobra snake, telling mom that they might get on skeet on mischa and be written about in a style that clearly and balantly bites gavin mcinnes and how stoked she is about

tina fey gets some love from the wga, mean girls gets nominated for best adapted screenplay; now putting the film on my top ten list doesn't look so stupid now.

nme talks to nick van zinner about the re-invention of the yeah yeah yeahs for their new album, soon be on the prowl for more guitar solos and karen o acting more and more like david lee roth, cause you know the yeah yeah yeahs and van halen, classic van halen are pretty much the same band.

show notes:
-bloc party at the glasshouse on march 21st
-joanna newsom at the troub on february 24
-blood brothers at the roxy on february 12 & at the glasshouse on february 11
-blonde redhead & interpol at the grand olympic on february 18th
-m.i.a. at the knitting factory on february 3rd; tsunami benefit show
-the bravery at cine space on january 18th & at spaceland on january 19th
-ted leo at the el rey on my birthday, so you can assume that i'll be there.

how terrible does the thing look in the fanastic four trailer?, yet how cute does vanessa manillo look at the end of the clip? i say that they should've cast mf doom as doctor doom in the movie and you would've probably had a hot soundtrack with beats by madlib.

robin brown had a good idea on how to improve upon this absolutely dreadful season of "the oc," add random fart sounds to the soundtrack because a fart sound effects are always funny and well, wouldn't be super funny if during some big dramatic scene with mischa barton and you know, she's using those method acting tips, she pick up from that episode of "inside the actor's studio" with jennifer lopez, so mischa is reaching really deep inside to create her perfect performance and right smack in the middle, there's a big wet fart sound to ruin the whole thing.

although, if they want an interesting story for this season and honestly, josh schwartz feel free to rip this off. basically, the oc gang goes to cabo for spring break, summer gets a bit too drunk, a 'girls gone wild' type of film crew is there and they get summer to do some crazy thing on video, but she doesn't remember it the next morning, flash forward a couple of episodes, seth and ryan are watching tv one night and they see an ad for some sleazy video with summer in, and well, yadda yadda yadda, the thing writes its self, dudemeisters. and get jeremy london to play some joe francis type of dude.

now, one of my favorite episodes of "the simpsons" had to be the one where homer goes into space probably due to homer simpson's speech about mr.t:

"Just like the time I could have met Mr. T
at the mall. The entire day I kept saying, "I'll go a little
later. I'll go a little later." And then when I got there, they
told me he'd just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he
would ever come back again, he said he didn't know."

now boys & ghouls, your humble narrator had a similar experince at south coast plaza this past wednesday afternoon. my friend and i could've gone to lunch at california pizza kitchen or at wahoo's fish tacos, but instead we went with ruby's and ladies and germs, we saw mr. fucking t eating lunch.

i debated with myself if i should've sent this celebrity sighting into defamer, but i never sent in that sighting of david arquette at amoeba that one time. but the thing about mr. t these days, is that he's keeping his look very modest, yet patriotic. mr t wasn't wearing his trademark gold chains, which i want to believe, was an attempt to keep a low profile, but when you are mr t and your outfit is entirely made up on american flags, it's rather hard to keep a low profile.

i tried to take a photo of him, but as many of you know with camera phones and people being more than 5 feet away from the camera, things tend to get a bit blurry. and sure, i could've gotten up from my table and asked to have a picture taken with him, but dudes, my chicken teriyaki burger was mighty delicious and i didn't want to let it go. yet, the problem was this, people, in particular two women weren't that respectful of the t. these two middle age women grabbed him as he was leaving with his entourage of people(it was only three weird lookin' white people, probably from tbn) and these women just shoved their camera phones in t's face and probably asked him to be their new voice mail message. middle age rich ladies from newport beach have no respect for our childhood heroes.

i would have to say that this sighting ranks a bit higher than the time i saw dan the del taco guy, but not as high as the time i saw paula abula and how i brought her autograph the next day to school, cause i was in the third grade and she was cool back then.

speaking of del taco, did you know that there's one in south coast plaza? that's right you can get a chicken works burrito and shop at the dolce & gabbana store.

Jan 13, 2005

whoa oh, here they come, they're man eaters!

while everybody and their kid sister is talkin' about lindsay lohan havin' fun in the big easy and what not, but dudemeisters, check out my girl, samaire armstrong rockin' out. how hot is she? up on the bar, probably makin' bros do shots and what not, in other words, the best time, ever.
[image via defamer]

all the while, i'm at home, drinking a brew and bummin' that our babe of the week, nora got voted off project runway. who's next? that hanna-barbera created lookin' motherfucker, austin?

meaty updates tomorrow morning, i swear.

Jan 12, 2005

an honest mistake

if my writings seem to stop for a while, it may be due to an injury that i'll most likely receive from chairing dancing to the bravery's "an honest mistake". at first, i thought that they were gonna be some hot hot heat soundin' dudes, but then i heard "an honest mistake" and it was on a new order tip. the keyboards are so infectious and i just have this fear that one night, i'm gonna swing a bit too much to the left and fall on the title floor. i really should put down some pillows or at least asking the record company to put a warning on the album, so there won't be any more potential chair related injuries.

but that song is good enough for me to think about busting out some ryan phillipe in playing by heart style moves at club bang one night. then again, club bang doesn't play that good of music, so i'd probably have to go to one of those steve aoki dance parties.

besides, being the most durst cast since the real world went back to new york, the real world philly with its cast of interchangable, easily confusable dudebros and undercover gay guys, they now bring into the mix a girl with scabies. how sleazy does one have to be in order to get scabies? terry richardson takes photos of some sleazy kids and i bet you dollars to donuts that those kids don't even have scabies. so where does melanie get scabies? is this a bizzare attempt to boost interest in the show or is melanie becoming the new irene from "real world: seattle" ? will melanie's scabies become her version of lyme disease causing her to leave the show and as she's leaving the house, she'll tell karamo that he can't be gay and how they should get married, but karamo will take offense to that statement and slap melanie as she's getting into a taxi.

man, that joke just will not work for you if you have no history of the real world series or reality tv, in general.

scott herren talks about the new prefuse album, "surrounded by silence,": "there is about an hour's worth left off just to get this to its point of release," and the collabos that will become highly sought after b-sides are with: madlib, four tet, diplo, and tv on the radio's tunde adebimpe. collabos that did make the album: ghostface & el-p, gza, masta killa, aesop rock, beans, cafe tubuca, and probably the one i'm looking forward to the mostest, blonde redhead's kazu makino, amongst others. the new album due on march 22nd, which can't come soon enough more information here.

the black crowes are reuniting for a coupla shows because chris robinson is being driven insane by kate hudson and their baby, but it's mostly kate hudson and her quest to find matching ugg boots for the whole family to wear when they go out to starbucks and a stroll on the maliboobs beaches

Jan 11, 2005

you wanna tussle? we'll tussle

does anybody remember the old michael moore? you know the dude who probably bought his jeans at price club and tried to fight for the little guy? so why does he look like somebody who just finished filming an episode of ambush makeover? is he giving up on the good fight because bush won? is he throwing in the towel and gonna live on high off the profits of his last movie and embrace and grow to love the repbulican tax breaks? man, what a quitter.

it's growing harder and harder to like zach braff these days. if you've listened to the commentary track with him & natalie portman on the garden state dvd, they probably had a little thing going, billy paul style and braff wasn't over it just yet or at least at the time of recording that commentary track. then the cat is linked with mandy moore for a smidge, and now he's hooking up with kirsten dumpst. now, mr. braff, you seem like a cool guy; we could probably talk about hal ashby movies for a couple of hours, but i have to ask you step away from my list of "ladies, i'm gonna holla at when i'm famous". there aren't too many ladies left on my list, so ease the funk up or at least just pick one and hang out with her for a while. keep rockin' out with kirsten dunst; i met her once, she smelt like cookies, but i'm sorta over it.

and adam brody, i'd tighten up that grip on rachel bilson, since she's on my list and braff is just on tear, dude.

pitchfork has interpol tour dates; they're in la on the same night as ashlee simpson's kickoff show on her headline tour. it's a tough call: go and boo ashlee simpson and flirt with 14 year olds or get my mind blown by interpol's openning act, blonde redhead, say to friends: "hey, wasn't that girl on the cobra snake?" and still probably flirt with 14 year old girls.

Jan 10, 2005

the thing i said about that screening at the japanese spot at the lab, it's next monday night; not tonight.

post modern girls

if you're in la and you got decent scuba equipment, then you should probably head over to amoeba tonight to check out the futureheads at 7p. i'm not sure if the kids will be dancing in the aisles cause the soles of their shoes may be wet and they could probably take a nasty spill and bleed all over the used mandy moore cds (seriously, there's like two decent sized racks of used mandy moore cds, so take it as a sign, babe; stick to acting).

and if you're in the greater orange county area, then i suggest going to the lab: the anti-mall(yeah, i know, that's a mondo retardo name, but you have to remember the people who live here are the same people that go to tommy's and order burgers without chilli cheese on it) and go over to zipangu cause they're showing a bunch of short films made by bento productions. so come out, brave the rain, eat some sushi or whatevs and watch some good movies.

even though i wrote about that the white washed, early morning stoner asian girl from riverside type, i hadn't really met one. i had only assumed those desired character traits or at least picked and pull from what i saw on "the real world". yet this all age, boys & ghouls, for you see, your humble narrator spent a small portion of his morning with an actual real live white washed early morning stoner asian girl from riverside. it was the trade off and the reward for waking up at a quarter to six in the morning and driving through hellacious rain for transfer student orientation at csuf. as a group of 8 or so kids sat at a table, discovering that we're all communication majors or at least the radio/tv/film kids are apart of the communication department as well. and this girl just comes out and drops an honesty bomb all over the table: "aren't we all communication majors cause it's easy? i mean, come on?"

then in apart of another conversation amongst the table, she mentions that she has rolling papers and proceeds to clean her purse out while the assitatiant dean gives a speech. and it only gets better after that, the girl was already on my side about transfer issues with the school, calling the fact that my film class credits didn't transfer over, "bullshit" then walk around and talked to the various campus clubs, just so she could get free stuff.

i'm sorry orange county girls who wear make up to bed and have far too much emotional baggage, but we're through with you. see ya later all of your l.a. slashtresses, we just can't hang around while you attempt to get this great project off the ground; we're all about a riverside girl these days because they're hot, hate power point presentations, and unbelievablely honest.

although, maybe we'd interested in a girl who lives in long beach from orange county, only cause long beach is orange county's answer to silverlake.

hounds of love

first and foremost, why is garry shandling on the cobra snake? i mean, it's really cool to see somebody like garry shandling out and about with the hip kids, but come on? what's next, jerry seinfeld to do a week long stint as a guest editor on gawker?

eventually, everybody in southern california is gonna have gills or at least they're gonna have to with the way this storm rages on. some say it's the return of "el nino," while others say, it's mondo retardo that it hasn't stopped raining and going to punch the next person who says, "but we need the rain" directly in the face, 80's metal concert tee style.

please prepare to play your tinyiest violin as you read the next coupla lines. for as you see, i don't start school until the end of the month and frankly, i have no clue as to what should i do with all of this free time? yes, i'm upset that i have three more weeks of sleeping late, partying and what have you nots. yet, i've done that already, you know. i spent all of my gift certificantes or at least a majority of them. i already went up to amoeba and wandered around the mall looking for a pair of decent jeans, but what else is there left to do? i mean, i could get a job, but who would want to do that and to certain portions of corporate america, i'm an undesirable. it's not that i say the wrong things in interviews, it's just that i don't say anything at all.

and with all of this time away from higher education, i fear that my mind will turn into mush after living on cinematic diet of takashi miike & david lynch films. so i almost feel slightly comfortable in my decision to watch "dora's pirate adventures" in the mornings. first, i'll be able to brush up my spanish skills, which have been a downward spiral ever since junior year in high school and i'll get a boost in my confidence because dora throws nothing but compliments to you as you watch the show. i honest believe the kids who'll be paying for my social security will be so well adjusted and confident that they could care less about me and my frivlious spending.

want your '05 to be ashlee simpson free? then sign this petition. i'd say don't because i kinda want ashlee simpson to be attached to this script i'm working on right now, but at the same time, i sorta knew that i'm really slow writer and with the script, i don't know if it's a short film yet. so i'd say sign it because i think i could probably attach hiliary duff to the script, and if not her, i could probably get her sister. i think you could probably get hiliary duff's sister to do showtime softcore porn.

is there going to be a backlash against the following bands for being played on kroq or will there be phone calls made to kroq asking to stop playing these bands. in case you were wondering, kroq is now playing the blogosphere's band of 2k4, the arcade fire or at least added them in the rotation. so in la, there's at least three stations you could hear them on nowadays, which is really odd. i just wonder if the mars volta fans are revolting against the new stuff since it's getting quite a bit of kroq airplay and the last time anything involving cedric & omar that got quite alot of kroq airplay broke up within six months of said airplay.

tiny mix tapes reports that there will be no modest mouse at whoachella '05. stoney jocks and that weiner kid on kuci who does 'mandatory modest mouse' on his radio show are bummin'.

Jan 5, 2005

it's a wizard's maze, man.

while amajority of america tuned in to see usc's crushing defeat of oklahoma at the orange bowl, your humble narrator just tuned in for the half time show featuring one ashlee simpson and boy, the girl did not disapoint at all. my question about ashlee simpson's clothing is does she lay out all of the outfits she's sorta wants to wear cause she simply can't narrow it down to one simple look; so she has all of these clothing layed out her dressing room, then puts on a blindfold, then spins around in a circle three times and basically play a game of hout couture pin the tail on the donkey? to steal a line from gavin mcinnes: she looks like a bunch of 13 year old girls spill a big bag of bad ideas all over her. and after reading her fan messages boards, i can kinda understand why she dresses the way she does.

but the thing that stands out about her fans, is that they're insanely loyal. the orange bowl performance had to have been one of the worst musical performances i've ever seen in my whole life, yet these kids are saying she rocked and was great and finding all of the clever loopholes explaining why the audience booed her at the end? it couldn't have been that football fans aren't into girls who dress like their 'weird' daugther bomp around and moan; perhaps, they would've been more down for a little hanks williams jr or just a marching band doing "hey ya" for the seventh time that night. no, it's just that the audience are a bunch of drunks who don't know anything about music. don't you remember the days when you were so intensely loyal and protective of your heroes that you would come up with the bizzarest reasons to explain why people didn't get it?

stereogum has a link to the video of the performance, in case you missed it

howard stern is gonna be pissed; fcc probably won't fine nbc after vince neil drops an f-bomb on air so be prepared to listen to him complain for a smidge, then move into an ad for sirius, which'll last for about twenty minutes.

f.u.b.a.r. has new gigantic sized scans of the kirsten dunst incident(nsfw); i mean i was looking for decent color shots, but these cats take it to the next level.

natalie portman to star in the movie version of alan moore's "v for vendetta"; weird thing, i thought that keira knightley was more right for the part than portman; related, knightley with a shotgun and mickey rourke

i really wish that i had some beautifuly written song by ted leo to explain my cause in better terms than i'm about to do. for some reason, i need to launch an attack upon diesel jeans. it's not necessarily about the people who wear the jeans because certain things can't be helped. the problem is the jeans, themselves and the people who sell them. these jeans are either too small and sorta spawn eating disorder just to get into them, which leads a diet, but then by the next time you get to the store to try on a pair of jeans and the dieting you attempted only lasted a month or two, so you're not feeling too confident about the jeans, yet when you put on a pair, basically, they're falling off and you go a size down and they're still falling off. how can this be? that one day, they don't and the next they do. sure, it's a bit of a confident boost that you lost that much weight or waist line, but check your dieting history and last night, you ate about three enchiladas.

and the price of a pair of jeans is about the same cost as an annual pass to disneyland or a playstation2 or a year long membership to supercult(nsfw) and basically, they look like the pants woren by this one homeless guy i saw on the bus with this big urine stain on them. then you gotta deal with these snotty guys who probably weigh as much as they did back in the sixth grade and their superficial attitude. they stand in front of the jeans, protecting you from touching them, so that they won't actually have to do their job and fold jeans. and they provide no help what so ever.

so i don't know why, but i'm want to go to all of the diesel stores in the area, walk in there, and just re arrange all of the jeans, unfold them, try them on and put them back in the wrong spot. basically, i want to be the michael moore of designer jeans.

Jan 4, 2005

do you recall when you were young?

as i was going home, i drove by an elementary school that had gotten out for the day, which put me into a minor traffic jam of suvs and mini vans. so as i sat waiting, i saw this kid cruising by my car, who could not have been more than 10 years old wearing a newish smiths "the queen is dead" t-shirt. that kid was so cool that i should've offered him my burritto, but he would've probably turned it out since it had meat in there and this kid probably thinks meat is murder. i mean, who turned this kid into a smiths fan? don't most guys go through their smiths phase towards the end of their high school career/start of their college years? yet this kid whose probably in the 5th grade is already getting it over with and by the time, he's in the 8th grade, who the fuck knows, but i bet you dollars to donuts, it's gonna be something way cooler than what we're doing right now.

i mean when i was probably that kid's age, i was sweating the fact if the ulimate warrior was gonna beat hulk hogan at wrestlemania. this kid probably has a better blog than i do and already over bloc party.

bloc party's "tulips" video; is it me or doesn't have that 'home, sweet, home' vibe to it? the bloc party full length, "silent alarm" is redonklicous but i can't past the song, "the price of gas," whenever that song comes on, i end up listening to it for about half an hour straight.

i wish i had a bigger photo of this, but if you're not in squiting, it's australian nightmare, bai ling getting crunked with lil' jon. is she trying to hang with him to get a flavor/brigitte steez boost to her career?

gawker has the vincent gallo/paris hilton arty softcore thing back online. while this video is interesting, it's not the vincent gallo video i want to see. i believe the fine folks over at golden fiddle mentioned this as well, so i apologize for stepping on any toes. on vh-1's "my coolest years", gallo talked about his b-boy days and how he destroyed ice t in a freestyle battle. gallo stated that it was a young ice-t and if you've seen either one of the breakin' movies, you know that the ice man back in the day was sorta weak sauce, but i just can't imagine what hot fire vincent gallo brought to the mic?
i'm the prince
you sucker mcs need to cease & dieste
seriously, i'm gonna call my dad's lawyer friend
and you'll be brought to an painful end
i'll use my addidas laces to straggle ya
and you still ask me to hang with ya

i dunno, but if anybody has video or audio recordings of this, post it online or release it on dvd or something.

the late late show with craig ferguson is still the same show as when kilborn hosted, but with a scottish accent and probably somebody who'll actually listen to his guest's answers as opposed to reading his blue card. i would've thought that cbs would want to go in a different direction in attempt to beat conan, but i guess not; they still got a craiggers and that writing staff. so look forward to a show that'll go an extra segment with nicole sullivan from "the king of queens" because we all can get enough of her because the 4 times a day that comedy central shows old "mad tv" reruns just isn't quite enough.

and finally, if you're into that world of live journal, you can read this blog from there by adding this lj to your buddy page. we won't add you back, but thats cause we're not into reading about your life unless we can rip it off in a script we're working on.

Jan 3, 2005

pro tools gangsters

dear mr. rule:

how can i take your murder raps seriously when you're just about as tall as ashanti is? not to mention, that you two called each other on your sidekicks and planned out how you were gonna match each other at the party:


an viewer of "rap city" whose sick of seeing that 'i'm from new york' video.

at first, i was sorta stumped as to what my new year's resolution was going to be for the '05 (which, we're already over). maybe i should learn to like people more and be more outcoming instead of being a bitter little ball of hate that drives around screaming obsceneties about the people who constructed beach blvd. in huntington beach. then i saw this babe and realized that my resolution should be to put away all the hate towards the blondes. ever since senior year in high school, i just held a negative spot for them in my heart with exceptions to: kirsten dunst, z & tennessese of the like, and of course, samaire armstrong. you know, the blonde always got their way and every dude or at least in my neck of the woods fawned over them too much, so why do they did need my attentinon and afflection? but you should that babe is just so killer and probably could drink me under the table. which lead me to think about making the resolution to become more socialable and go out meet babes like this.

then i saw these nelson lookin' dudes and thought, perhaps it's best if i just stayed at home waiting for the vip parties uncensored(nsfw) informercial to air on a saturday night, thank you very much.

in all reality, my resolution is to finish my screenplay and shop it around as a starring vehicle for ashlee simpson, which would lead me to a meeting with ashlee simpson and i would give her a deck of yugioh cards and ask if she could get her boyfriend to autograph them for me.

kirsten dunst goes to the beach and her top falls off(nsfw) and i'd just wait until i got home from work before i snuck a peak.

for as much love as i have for the itunes program, i would like to extend a fuck you to them for making the zombies' "the way i feel inside" off of the soundtrack to the life aquatic as a song that only comes with the album. why can't i just pay a dollar and get this one song? i don't want the other ones, if i did, i would buy the soundtrack, but i just want this one song. it's all profit, dudes. it's not like i'm gonna take the song and mash it up with beat for "rubber band man" and create some crazy hit song. i don't even know how to do that, but if i did, i would be mashing up lil scrappy with the stooges; hello? the "no problem" mash up with "no fun"? that is a license to print money.

i assume that by the time i post this, there will be a logical explanation for this photo, right? i mean nicky hilton must be researching for a part for a movie, right? she isn't on meth or the blow; she can't be since she's not wearing cowboy boots, which we've established as the new symbol for girls on the blow. or perhaps there's a new symbol here, but i just can't figure it out yet. is she drawing our attention to her awesome red baseball cap or her cool boyfriend who is on some show on hbo that even if i had hbo i wouldn't watch (not to mention, that samaire armstrong is on that show and i'd still wouldn't watch it) or that her beav is freshly clean?

mello got engaged to lala, dudes and who cares me? certainly not nuggets fans, they could use a bit more w's.

and it seems like in a couple of months, i'll have to change my icon from samaire armstrong & rachel b hangin' out together to samaire hangin' with lohan; samaire to play her best pal in some movie, hopefully she won't wear any goofy hats.