it's a wizard's maze, man.
while amajority of america tuned in to see usc's crushing defeat of oklahoma at the orange bowl, your humble narrator just tuned in for the half time show featuring one ashlee simpson and boy, the girl did not disapoint at all. my question about ashlee simpson's clothing is does she lay out all of the outfits she's sorta wants to wear cause she simply can't narrow it down to one simple look; so she has all of these clothing layed out her dressing room, then puts on a blindfold, then spins around in a circle three times and basically play a game of hout couture pin the tail on the donkey? to steal a line from gavin mcinnes: she looks like a bunch of 13 year old girls spill a big bag of bad ideas all over her. and after reading her fan messages boards, i can kinda understand why she dresses the way she does.
but the thing that stands out about her fans, is that they're insanely loyal. the orange bowl performance had to have been one of the worst musical performances i've ever seen in my whole life, yet these kids are saying she rocked and was great and finding all of the clever loopholes explaining why the audience booed her at the end? it couldn't have been that football fans aren't into girls who dress like their 'weird' daugther bomp around and moan; perhaps, they would've been more down for a little hanks williams jr or just a marching band doing "hey ya" for the seventh time that night. no, it's just that the audience are a bunch of drunks who don't know anything about music. don't you remember the days when you were so intensely loyal and protective of your heroes that you would come up with the bizzarest reasons to explain why people didn't get it?
stereogum has a link to the video of the performance, in case you missed it
howard stern is gonna be pissed; fcc probably won't fine nbc after vince neil drops an f-bomb on air so be prepared to listen to him complain for a smidge, then move into an ad for sirius, which'll last for about twenty minutes.
f.u.b.a.r. has new gigantic sized scans of the kirsten dunst incident(nsfw); i mean i was looking for decent color shots, but these cats take it to the next level.
natalie portman to star in the movie version of alan moore's "v for vendetta"; weird thing, i thought that keira knightley was more right for the part than portman; related, knightley with a shotgun and mickey rourke
i really wish that i had some beautifuly written song by ted leo to explain my cause in better terms than i'm about to do. for some reason, i need to launch an attack upon diesel jeans. it's not necessarily about the people who wear the jeans because certain things can't be helped. the problem is the jeans, themselves and the people who sell them. these jeans are either too small and sorta spawn eating disorder just to get into them, which leads a diet, but then by the next time you get to the store to try on a pair of jeans and the dieting you attempted only lasted a month or two, so you're not feeling too confident about the jeans, yet when you put on a pair, basically, they're falling off and you go a size down and they're still falling off. how can this be? that one day, they don't and the next they do. sure, it's a bit of a confident boost that you lost that much weight or waist line, but check your dieting history and last night, you ate about three enchiladas.
and the price of a pair of jeans is about the same cost as an annual pass to disneyland or a playstation2 or a year long membership to supercult(nsfw) and basically, they look like the pants woren by this one homeless guy i saw on the bus with this big urine stain on them. then you gotta deal with these snotty guys who probably weigh as much as they did back in the sixth grade and their superficial attitude. they stand in front of the jeans, protecting you from touching them, so that they won't actually have to do their job and fold jeans. and they provide no help what so ever.
so i don't know why, but i'm want to go to all of the diesel stores in the area, walk in there, and just re arrange all of the jeans, unfold them, try them on and put them back in the wrong spot. basically, i want to be the michael moore of designer jeans.