&t skeet on mischa: 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Feb 28, 2005

gold fronts

the problem with this year's oscars wasn't that virgina madsen lost or scorsese didn't even get the sympathy oscar win, but it was beyonce knowles constantly need to be all over my tv screen. one performance is even pushing it with her. it was bad enough that she and her supremes had to lip sync shit up and drag out the nba all star game last week, but she just kept on making matters worse. i assumed that the goal of this year's oscars was to hip things up a smidge, but come on, three performances by beyonce. that's not hip, it's just being utterly unorignial in your booking of talnet. honestly, i would not be surprised to hear that they thought about getting the black eyed peas to be the orchestra for the show. why did she have to perform three songs even though, the girl with the "charlottee from sex & the city" vibe from the phatom of the opera was there. she was in the movie, beyonce was not.

i mean, what is it exactly about beyonce that i seem to complete miss? she's had about one good song, "crazy in love" but it was only cause jay-z has a good verse on it and the beat was beyond redonklicous; other wise than that, she's utterly overrated and completely dull. she's become too much apart of my life and it's not fair. i never asked for her to be in my life, but there she is. she's on "celeberities without make up", she's in the blogosphere, she's on the radio and if she could find a way, she'd probably be in the a/v library renting the film i need to watch for a test, so i have to watch it with her in the tiny av room and she'd try to provide interesting insight on the film, but she'd only say, "oh hey, that shot was really cool" or "like this movie is too long, but my movie, austin powers in: goldmember that's the perfect length for a film," and i wouldn't know what to say other than nodding and smiling polietely.

i don't know if it sounds too crazy, but can we start up a petetion of sorts to get beyonce to leave the public eye for a while, like five years or until i and i assume the rest of america are comfortable with her again. let her boyfriend come back and make some records instead and be like, "yeah, sorry about creating that ego manic kanye west and sorry for dating a woman who'll never leave you alone, so here's a new album that's produced entirely by dj premiere to make up for everything. sorry and sorry about sitting on cam'ron's record for a minute, while we tried to get people to like memphis bleek. i, now know that nobody likes him and will never like him."

penelope cruz and salma hayek proved to everybody that they're not the same person, but color me ignorant, after looking at this photo, i'm starting to think that they are related in some way.

although, you can't see it in this photo, but don't you think that hiliary swank could've afforded to pick up some pasties for her dress or something? i mean, she's still trying to feminize her look up, but have exposed nipples isn't doing the job, lady. this father who lives on my street is more femme then you, but that's only cause he drives a mini van with a tinkerbell sticker on it. so, don't beat up us with your boobies; just be a respectable actresses like meryl streep or something. you know, cover up and just do quality work, leave the gigantic boobies all up in our face for sidney lumet's daugther [via the thigh master]

joss stone got drunk with dustin hoffman and they both said it was okay for eva longoria to wear...

this outfit. sure, it may have that 'pow-pow' effect but what's the deal with grease hair ribbon and the whole sparkle motion vibe? did she steal the jacket from the lady at morton's satuday night meeting of the julie cooper nichols look alike club, costa mesa chapter? (two people will get this reference)

as for the rest of the oscars. i thought rock was funny. charlie kaufman finally won something; scorsese in a couple of years will get an honoray oscar, so expect a long, rambling nervous speech from bobby d about working with marty and the good old days; big ups to morgan freeman for winning, wished it was thomas haden church, but the fact is, morgan freeman is the coolest person alive (sam jackson is so over); who is adam durst of the counting crows trying to kid about the balding with the poo dreads?

Feb 24, 2005

california uber alles

it seems like every couple of weeks, i start to write some attack against josh schwartz and the sophmore slump/creative tailspin/fonzie jumping over a shark direction he has taken "the oc" into this season. i assume that he's enjoying the spoils of his success IE court seats at lakers game (which, at the level they're playing, i'll be able to afford them and i don't even have a job in about a week or two), hanging out with killer babes and partying with his on screen alter ego, adam brody; hey, they're probably writing songs together and thinking about doing an album during the summer break, which is great and all, but there's a problem. the show has become a shit sandwich, spinal tap style, no less. you see, if i was josh schwartz, i'd never leave my house if the show i created became what "the oc" is nowadays. i'd stay inside all day and night, writing, trying to save what's left of this season; not living it up. i'd probably grown a zz top and wear klennex boxes as my shoes and live off a diet of whatever i can get from pink dot. i'd be smelly and over weight, but at least i'd feel better in the knowledge that instead of just placing some gum on the leak of my sinking ship, i actually placed my body into the hole.

thankfully, schwartz ended two of the most boringest storylines. gone is lindsey aka poochie the rockin' illegitimate daugther and hopefully to never return, but the way schwartz wrapped things up was just like, you know when you get a present from a friend and it's wrapped in newspaper and the price tag is still on the gift cause your buddy just bought that shit and wrapped it in the car, using the free nudie newspaper? yeah, that's how the lindsey thing felt; just an afterthought. we've taken this character so far and she really is that dude's daugther, so we're gonna write her off cause we're all of ideas. i mean, why did you waste my time with this annoyning, unsexy, unfunny character for a couple of months to just have her say, "i'll take a picture of wigrley field and mail it to you" (well, she didn't say that)? then having summer & seth's big romantic reunion an 'homage' to spider man, what the fuck? aren't you paid a great deal of money to come up with something better than that? isn't there a room full of writers that maybe you could talk to come up with a more unique idea? and don't throw the card of "well, seth is really into comics and i think he'd believe he would apperciate the moment." i love rap music, but you're not gonna see me throw out a proposal during a freestyle battle cause it's combining two of my loves.

the less said about the marisa/alex storyline, the best; other than saying, mischa b can't act and all i really want to do to olivia wilde, is to lick my finger and smear her phoney butterfly(look for me to make a similar joke in a couple of days). and i don't even want to say that an upcoming episode is a direct rip off of the movie that i know made me fall in love with jennifer connelly, career opportunities. so mr josh schwartz, bottle rocket up your shit; watch some wes anderson films,actually come down there and film an episode or at least ease drop on some convos at south coast plaza while pretending to be listening to dungen on your ipod. i mean, you could knock mtv's "laguna beach" all you want, but that show is actually shot in orange county and has done more for the slang game than you have.

giamatti looked over again! gq names its top ten actors of this generation apparently, you have to be redonklicously good looking to be considered by a gq to be a good actor; although that sorta doesn't explain john c reilly, but maybe that's cause he acts along side other handsome actors makes them even more handsome. jude law also got snubbed, too, but giamatti is way better russell crowe and leo dicrapo; dicrapo sorta ruined scorsese movies for me. i mean what does paul giamatti have to do to earn an respect in this world? play a blind german woman with an eating disorder confined to a wheelchair? nick cage? he basically has two types of performances: elvis or coke head.

Feb 23, 2005

let donna martin graduate!

save drunkenstepfather.com(nsfw)!

and the only way you can help is by becoming his myspace buddy, so send him an add here and feel really good about yourself.

spread the word!

ipods and killing time before class start is a great combo, but what's not so great is the weird stares i get when i'm listening to joanna newsom from weirdo guys who spend too much time on doing their mohawk. sorry, it's not the crass or since i'm assume that the dude is probably of the metro pression, sorry, it's not eighteen visions.

but really save the drunken stepfather and let donna martin graduate!

Feb 18, 2005

time takes a cigarette v2.0

mischa b should dump bradon d and date easy rider just cause he was so good in million dollar baby and i honestly believe that she could use a mature influence in her life; morgan would tell her what scripts to do and teach her to maybe emote a bit more on "the oc".

dear 57 south to the 5 south connector & the 5 south to 55 connectors.

fuck you. i hate your guts so much. please add another line or i'll be like michael douglas, falling down style and i'll marry some annoyning british lady to make even more horrible cell phone commercials that'll air non stop during your favorite show.


a frustrated motorist

donnie darko rock has to be stopped, people. the sound of these particular genre of music really has nothing to do with the film, but it's a better label than corecore or if you will, crapcore. since it's a smoothie of hardcore, emocore, fashioncore and new wave with bits of attempted politicism and richard marxism, and they say that donnie darko is their favorite film because they relate to donnie's feeling of being alienated, yet, their look is completely ripped off from the most recent my chemical romance video and used to be on school's swim team. anyways, one of these bands played the lunch time concert at school earlier this week, and sadly, more people were there for these jokers then were out for the willowz.

but only one person seemed to be really into the show, and that person shouldn't be the only one rocking out to the show, since she was the band's girlfriend. shouldn't she be laying low and just sorta singing along and whispering into her friend's ear, 'jim wrote this song for me,' not being the only one standing up and dancing around? the position of the band's girlfriend is to make the other girls jealous or at least recruit girls for the end of the night for the bassit.

the only thing that i wish i would've taken a picture of, but i had my head down, writing a text message, but i look up and i see that the lead singer has pulled out an acoustic guitar during the middle of their power ballad and started to play it. i dunno, but i thought that was one of the funniest things i'd ever seen. these guys started out trying to be all political with their little afi whoas & ohs choruses, then they tried to be all heavy and out of nowhere, they start acting like ryan caberra for some insane reason.

the trailer for eon mckai's latest opus, kill, girl kill can be viewed here(nsfw) [via fleshbot]. color us a fan of veronica jett already.

and with that, kids, i'm out here for a week, but i leave you with a quote from joanna newsom: "an iPod is magic! if i could figure out how to use it, i would probably have one!" and if you have any spares for her show at the troub on thursday night, holla at me!

Feb 17, 2005

disco drive

here's a hip tip for those who may check out the party pics on the cobra snake or on last night's party and get bummed because there aren't any tannorexic girlies with fake boobies and too much make up on their sites? well, fret no longer dudes, please check out the photo section for glam, an orange county night club. tv has done a really bad thing for my home because it has made everybody believe that all of the girls look like mischa barton, but really, they all look like julie cooper, cept worser and sluttier and i probably went to high school with them, too.

next thursday, this particular night club is moving to a new location which would be about 5 minutes away from my house with openning night apperances by and i shit you not: pedro from napoleon dynamite and kal penn from harold & kramar. now, i can understand pedro being there, but why would kal penn slum it up at a horrible spot in orange county where you're about to be in the new superman movie; that's buzz, son. don't waste it on some 19 year old from mission viejo who just got her boobs as a high school graduation present; save it for l.a. or cruise down to miami during model season, then slut shit up. you humble narrator has entertained the idea of going to this thing, but the chances are that i'll probably get beaten by a bunch of guys who look towards carmine gotti as a style icon cause i tried to get the dj to play "les & ray" by le tigre while they were gettin' their p-i-m-p on. and probably these blogger groupies that uncle grambo speaks of don't go to these things.

not to mention, i found out about the club from a flyer thrown on the ground of my school. so i'm assuming it's not a good party because i've been to two parties related to my school and i think i left both of them within thirty minutes after i got there. i believe i left each party mumbled, "i was never here. you didn't see me," as i backed away with my hands up, like i was getting busted by cops, but it was just a bunch of metal dudes.

i've been attempting to show how supposed david lee roth love child & adult film star, avy lee roth(nsfw) looks like ashlee simpson, but i can't seem to find a picture of avy lee roth with any clothes on that would prove my theory correct. so go on and google it up for yourself, here's a head start(nsfw).

p-fork says that m.i.a.'s album has been put on hold due to legal matters regarding samples and what not. i mean, if you wanted to check out the record, just hit up your local college's radio station or the other way, but i think it would be much funer, if you go through the motions of getting an on air shift just so you could grab a copy of m.i.a.'s album and put it onto your ipod. bingo!

don't forget that blonde redhead have an in store at amoeba on sunset on friday afternoon. now, i would go but i got a repair guy coming down and the one time i saw blonde redhead, it was utterly mind blowing and i have a fear that the second time won't be as good for me, but if you haven't seen them before, i highly recommend checking them out before their openning slot at the interpol show.

Feb 16, 2005

the bucket

i tried to hang with gastineau girls last night, but the whole lou, the doorman as the narrator and poorly written punch line provider just killed it for me. just let the natural stupidity of the show's stars to provide the jokes; not some dude whose about a rim shot away from being jay leno.

another thing that'll probably keep me from this show again, while brittny gastineau may have some major whopbompers, she and her mother have a very scary, gigantic, baba boey teeth game going on. i'll probably have nightmares about them chasing after me in some creepy, argento style forest and trying to eat me with those big mouths of theirs. it's "rich girls" all over again, but with somebody's mom as the annoyning, uninteresting best friend and well, we don't know if brittny gastineau will flip out, start doing drugs, and lay low while in rehab, yet, but probably, yeah, she will.

did anybody else catch jacqueline from the first episode of "my super sweet 16" cameo on last night's episode for some other's girl who lives la jolla birthday party? how do all of these people in la jolla have these insane amounts of money to drop on their kids' parties? attention, hollywood, if you're looking for the new o.c., it's la jolla, california. a suburban of san diego has all of the sandy beaches of malibu and redonklicous amounts of money of newport beach, but the teenagers are about 45 minutes away from t.j., so just imagine the insane, drunken, debaucherious, rich 15 year old kids and the great television that would be. although, i would say that the producers sorta dropped the ball on the episode of "my super sweet 16," instead of having another episode about a rich girl, tell the story of the party through the eyes of the girl's friends who live in roswell, new mexico, who came out to california and their culture shock. but, this show is getting like p.diddy and bad boy: "can't stop, won't stop," cause i think some girl is coming to her party in a helicopter, jeff probost style, of course.

finally a pretty people's version of being john malkovich? an actor who looks like brad pitt must struggle with the hardships of getting an acting gig and living his life. what's next? cause honestly, i don't know. this movie hurts my head.

speaking of brad pitt, why are frat girls still not over the fact that brad & jen split up? that is all they seem to talk about or how they can't handle their hang overs because they did straight shots at the bar the other night. so they're all sorts of clumsy, knocking over their water bottles and kicking off their flip flops, putting me in a position, where i gotta hand them back their flip flop which is beyond gross. feet are already gross enough to look at, now my pen has to touch the equally as dirty flip flop as i slide it over. eeewwwww.

so me and my tower records broke up yesterday. i know and right after valentine's day and all, too. i knew we were going in different directions when i was talking to one of the girl who works there and she said that everybody at the store was really into kasabian and i said that i was really into bloc party, then she said who? yet what put our relationship to the breaking point was their lack of lcd soundsystem cds. in fact, they had none at all.

sure, i would've expect this out of best buy, but not my tower. i would've never imagined that. i mean this was the same store that sold the videodrome dvd a week early. this was the same store that a week or two ago, i picked up the new six organs of admittance album. now, i gotta spend half an hour thumbing through the l's section and i have people think i'm really into lagwagon as i search through the rock section. the people who work, while i have good experinces with in the past with, were just no help, especially, the new hot girl. no matter how tall she was or cute she was, there has to be a problem of sorts with her when she asks me to how to spell lcd soundsystem. after i told her how it was spelled, she said that they had six copies in stock, but i could not find a single copy in the store.

to me, this was completely and utterly ridonklicous. i mean, wasn't this why lcd soundsystem signed a deal with emi & capitol records? so that james murphy's music would be in most stores for purchase. so in protest until i got a copy of the album, i drove around listening to cannibal ox's " ridiculoid" on repeat, because shit was ridiculoid and my life's not right. i shouldn't be so ocd over lcd, but i am and the frustration level continued to grow and i called up robin brown offering to give him my music collection because i was quiting the scene and would start to listen only to kiss fm, since it would be a lot easier to find those cds than lcd soundsystem. robin told me to relax and try another tower.

so i called up another tower and asked if they had the cd. they had it and was going to put it on hold for me. the tower records in tustin is my new tower because they had tons of copies of the album, right up front in the new releases section as well as tons of copies of the new plot to blow up the eiffel tower album, as i went to the register, i almost collapsed with joy as i told the dude, that his tower is the best tower records, to which he replied, "yeah, it's fun working here. i get to listen to great music all day" then the arcade fire came on.

p.s. the plot to blow up the eiffel tower album is amazing. to me, my intial reaction, is that the album sounds exactly like what rush hour traffic on the 5 freeway on a friday evening feels.

Feb 15, 2005

my life's not right.

so much stress, so much anixety and all i can really say is that i've already offered to give away my music collection and i'm driving around orange county listening to "ridiculoid" by cannibal ox on repeat as a form of protest.

seriously, you don't even want to know.

what more can i say?

yeah, that made me do a double take as well, but the article is about the vagina monologues.

super busy today; go buy the lcd soundsystem album and watch the video for "rapcats" (new quasimoto) [via catch dubs]

Feb 14, 2005

reno dakota

dudes, check out scary-kate's shoe game. she must be a reader of the skeet shoot.

everybody knows about adam brody's band, big japan, right? when he isn't pouting around the set, he's behind the skins. a must listen for those who wear scarf & sweater sets in the summer or for those who miss dogstar.

remember frente? no? well that doesn't matter cause they're back i saw them many moons ago at a kroq show when they played with some band called pavement and some dude named beck.

anybody know if the new kings of leon album is as good as the first single, "the bucket" is? i can honestly say other than hanging out with actors and giving them their sides, the only thing that i did, literally did on the weekend, was listen to that song. so good.

i've never been big on valentine's day. perhaps, it was the idea of having to give everybody in class a valentine's day card, even the dudes, which always made things weird. although, most likely in the days of elemenary school, we were probably too young to pick upon the implications of giving a guy a valentine's day card. although, you'd try to butch up the whole scene by giving ninja turtles, but it never ever worked. to me, valentine's day is just a forced upon holiday by women. and since, i aint got no valentine, i'll drive around listening to the magnetic fields and feel incredibley despressed.

anybody else ever stand up while typing on a laptop while listening to some new wave jawn and fell like they're in the band; you know like air syths or air keyboards? or is just me? and anybody else ever feel like their gps lady is apart of the song when she breaks in and says, "next exit on the right" or is just me?

the world can rest safely now, that kanye-zilla won a couple of grammys. i didn't really watch that much of the grammys because who wants to see john mayer make that hidieous o-face of his when he wins an award for penning a song that fat girls who wear abercombine lose their virginity to. no thanks, i'll stick with the best show on tv (i don't get hbo, so i can't say that "curb" is the best show on tv), " arrested development". i might've tuned into the grammys if they did a tribute to the red light sting who broke up last year. i mean, come on, how awesome is the song, "congradulations, mr. crocodile, you're pregnant" (the most played song on my itunes)? way better than anything those weiners in the black eyed peas ever made.

i'm unsure if mtv2's facelift & relaunch is just an elaborate plan to cover up most of the screen with mondo retardo graphics. from it's ridonklicous 2 headed dog logo that covers up the bottom right half of the screen due to the decision of the ultra convent video information from the bottom portion of the screen to smack right in the middle of the screen with even bigger letters and off putting colors. what was wrong with white and arial font? now, i gotta deal with orange & yellow text that looks as if it was written on printing training paper by PS148's first grade class?

and i assume that the change was made to bring in more younger viewers, young males with its mix of emo & hip hop videos and life style shows, where kids can learn how to dress like jennifer lopez and fabolous. fabolous and most comercial rappers dress like toddlers and user sports logos like graminals. just play vidoes and let the kids steal the band's look from the video. make' em work the look on their budget. don't create even more materialistc kids, there's enough of those already and most of them has a reality show in the pipeline with mtv2's sister network, mtv.

these kids who watch mtv2 have absolutely horrible taste in music, especially the teenagers on my street. i'm not in a position to tell the kid from across the street who was singing at the top of his lungs and most likely shirtlessly to "the reason" by hobastank for half an hour straight. i can't walk over, give him a blood brothers and tell him: "first, put a shirt and b, yeah, they may scream alot and one of them sings really high and you won't understand everything they say until the 40th time you listen to it, but this is like eight million times tougher than that hobastank bullshit."

i can't take the ashanti cd out of neighbor girl's car and replace it with a cd filled with "midnight train to geogria" by gladys knight & the pips. to her, gladys knight is some lady in a stupid comercial from the super bowl, not the singer of one of these greatest songs ever made. i can't tell the one kid that the ataris suck and he should listen to ted leo instead. so you see, this is the part of the movie where mtv2 is supposed to help me out. you know, ease up on the crunk music, cut back on the reurns of "viva la bam", tone down the number of spins my chemical romance gets (i like that song quite a bit, but it's a bit overplayed, nowadays), and maybe just play some videos.

not to mention, they played the video for "scernio" and had the nerve to not show busta rhyme's verse, which has to be one of the greatest things ever. didn't busta rhymes say: "and had you smellin right, like some old stale urine, checkady-choco, the chocolate chicken" and didn't everybody's mind explode as they heard it. so why not play the whole video?

here's my new favorite blog, dudes. the religious element is what it is, but i'm just a fan of the graphic design.

Feb 11, 2005

pink taranutlas

i would love to go to the blood brothers show tonight at the glasshouse, but i'm too old and when a superstar like haylie duff is on "joan of arcadia, the cell phone gets turned off and my world stops for about an hour.

oddly enough, haylie duff's birthday is a day before mine, so since we're both minor celebrites, does this mean we have to joint party together; you know for equal media coverage and what not? cause i'm not really doing anything for my birthday other than probably checking out ted leo in concert and getting a haircut. but if we have to do some joint party, i assume it'll be at some sushi place in la where danny masterson is djing and left all of his ghostface albums at home, but he just didn't want say he doesn't own any ghostface records and wilmer valderrama will give me one of those knit, wool caps that everybody but me wears, saying that if you wanna get with a girl like lindsay lohan, you gotta wear a knit cap and probably in the process, hiliary duff will butcher rod stewert's "maggie may" on the karaoke machine, cause you know these actors are. then like a drunken tara reid will show up, uninivted, late, and, probably her left breast will be exposed and people will poke at it with the back end of a fork and ask her if she feels anything and of course, she'll say, "what?"

anybody everybody notice that their tara reid impression sounds awfully alot like their britney spears impression, only with a frog in their throat?

ps. if anybody is thinking of getting me the new lcd soundsystem album for my birthday, don't. get me dario argento's inferno instead or i heart huckabees, please.

if ray charles wins any awards at the grammys, will jamie fox come on stage and do that stupid 'ahhhhh....oooohhhhh' call & response thing with the audience? if i was clint eastwood or paul giamatti at the oscars and he does that thing, i would stand up in the audience and flip him off, then storm out of the audience, saying that all of this is bullshit. and when i was walking down the red carpet and i was those dudest, i'd flip off star jones because in addittion to talking about she's married, she'd said, now, i liked your movie and all, but jamie foxx is gonna win.

and you just know that kanye west will storm out, flip off, and cry if he loses any grammys to ray charles, because as you know, kanye west is the most humble person in the whole wide world, since he's gonna change his name to "the face" since he's the face of the grammys, this year. kanye, just stick to making beats and tell common to release "food" all ready

i've been wanting to reference this one line that gavin mcinness wrote in vice where he compared some girl to a slayer album, but i've never felt comfortable doing that, because i'm not one for ripping off people i respect, but yeah, this girl, is like a slayer album minus all of the satanic overtones, morbid imagery and dressed up in off white

Feb 10, 2005

grey day

i know that i'm probably a bit too late to join in on this reindeer game, but "grey day" by zoot woman is one helluva of a jawn. if you listen to it and don't dance or tap your feet or slap your hand against your thigh or what ever it is that you done when you dance but are afraid of shaking your hips. much respect to jason bentley for playing it on the radio, after "lost" was over cause other wise, i'd have nothing to write about and no ear delicious jawn to cover up the sound of the bathroom.

hold up, wait a minute, how out of control is she? are all of the new york girls like this? or am i and the dude right next to her, just wondering how did she get those killer tan lines in the middle of winter?; she got cobra snake'ed, too

a smidge of bad news, does this mark the begining of the end of "arrested development"? fox bumps the greatest comedy since "seinfeld" for probably the worst show i've ever seen "american dad" doesn't fox realize that starting this sunday, adult swim is going to be showing the episodes? honestly, fox don't toy around with arrested anymore, if you're gonna cancel it, just do it already, so they could get a head start on setting up a deal at hbo or something. if you're gonna keep it, that's cool, but don't take it off for "american dad." famous last words that may come back to haunt you, to paraphrase mf doom.

from what i saw of the willowz (only a couple of songs; i had to leave for class), i liked. looking like they just came from a stint as extras on lords of dogtown, they played a set of sunny, care free punk; well basically they sounded like red kross, but they have this unbashedly "hey, we're from california and we love it" vibe about them. finally somebody has knocked the thrills out of their spot as the ulimate california band. get these kids on "the oc", get these kids at coachella; have them replace the sexy magazines. honestly who's gonna listen to a band who took too many trips to the clever, ironic band name well and came back with that. and you just know that they're not sexy cause if you have to say you're sexy on a t-shirt or anywhere else, you're not sexy.

people are already well vested into this whole montreal as the new it city. i saw some dude cruising around in a shirt that said: "montreal '82" and the cty has only been like luke warm for a week or two. i wonder if any goofy kids are southing out, "i wanna live in montreal with you guys!!!!" at arcade fire shows? i heard some niners yell out "i wanna live in omaha with you, conor" at a bright eyes show a couple years ago. here's the thing just cause the music from one particular arean is good, doesn't necessarily mean that you want to pack up and start anew. pause for a minute and take a closer listen; conor obsert sings alot of sad badstard songs, so maybe nebraska aint so happin', maybe, just maybe, it's a bit of a bummer.

heidi klum, what the fudge?!!!!!!? (jeff garlin steez), how could you let the nutty designer, wendy to the final three? did you not take into consideration how truly awful all of her designs have been? forget what that lame-o, nancy o'dell has to say about fashion; what does she know? she hangs out with billy bush all day long and has not violently attacked him, yet. i was gonna say, heidi, you're gonna become a laugh stocking, but something tells me, that's already happen, but yeah, what the? wendy to the final three? i guess, you really want to pull in that wal mart audience.

and let us not forget, that we're merely one day away from the release of what will most likely become the greatest film ever made, hitch starring will smith and that laugh machine, kevin james. i heard that napoleon dynamite has more laughs than hitch and you know, napoleon only had like one joke, it was just repeated over and over again. why can't eva mendes ever be in a movie that i'd want to watch?

Feb 9, 2005

no love to be found

you know how masta ace was making fun of the west coast gangsta rap scene with the album, "slaughtahouse" and in particular that line, "dressed strictly in raiders and kings gear/i only wear black and don't know how to act" and basically, the kids in the suburbans were strictly dressed in raiders and kings gear. so flash forward to now, in particular to last night's episode of "my super sweet 16" about rich suburban child, hart. did you see his uniform? basically, him and all of his buddies dress like kayne west. polos with the collar up are the new raiders & kings gear and hopefully will become the sign of a dude with no personal identity. i mean if a suburban kid is going to dress like the favorite rapper, wouldn't it be an act of rebelion? you know, you didn't get me an escadele, so i'm gonna wear a wu wear track suit and a doo rag or like a pair of jeans that's like 32 x 60 with a xxxxxxxxxxl white tee. i mean, these kids are wearing clothes that their parents are stoked on and more than willing to drop a gem on them. eventually, fathers and sons will trade polos with each other and hit the links with the collars up and a boom box blasting out outkast on the back 9. but you would think that the parents of these kids would say, can you take it down a couple and not wear two polo shirts at once, you look like an idoit or at least have one up and the other down, for a contrasting effect.

related, the cover of "me & the biz" still remains as one of the all time great album covers.

further related, the dad on last night's "my super sweet 16" spent a quarter of a million dollars on his son's sweet 16 party. who are these people with all of this disposable income and how can i become a hang-er on? clearly, these are the few people who have benefited from george w. bush's tax plan. what happened to the days when expensive birthday party meant you had about 10 people (like half of the people invited weren't even really your friends, but just guys in your class) at chuck e cheese on a saturday afternoon? now, you gotta have red bull tenders and samantha roson dj the thing to be even taking seriously.

the willowz are playing today's lunch time concert at school. i dunno, if i want to hear them play as much as i want to ask them about michel gondry and what's like it hearing your music being played while kirsten dunst dances around in her underwear. cause you know that has to be some sorta surreal moment.

plugging of friend's projects:
-stills from derek doi's job one; probably the most fun i've had while working on a movie, thus far.
-for all of the acting types in the greater la & orange county area, robin brown is holding auditions for his next film, for info, click here; from what i've heard, the script is pretty funny.

Feb 8, 2005

one of these days, it'll all make sense

real world: san diego's and perhaps, the hottest real worlder ever, jamie chung in the inferno2, photos some say hottest girl to ever grace mtv since britney was tellin' us to hit her one more time; p.s. fucking your javascripts, mtv; i just wanna link jamie's profile, not hotlink photos, it's a win-win situation, geez, get over yourself.

speaking of mtv, i'm not sure if anybody else saw this particular episode of "room raiders" that aired on monday, but if you didn't, here's the breakdown, the guy was doing the room raiding looks like m.j. or landon or whoever that bagel is on the real world: philly and the girls were super cute, cobra snake style of girls (i never knew that the atl had such babes; i may have to visit my sister out there, but just ditch her and head off to the varsity and crusie for babes with chilli dog breath). clearly, the producers of this show, didn't understand what karen o. meant when she said, "the cool kids, they belong together." as the dude scoped out one girl's room, he commented about all of the band posters on the walls and said, "wow, i've never heard any of these bands," then in a flirty tone, he followed that up with, "maybe you can teach me." the girl said, "just have an open mind," then she proceeds to slam the dude for buying his jeans with the rips already in them. i don't understand why the producers see that these girls are indie, so they match them up with skinny guy with sexy hair or some girl with big boobs and an american eagle outfitters sweatshirt on with the same show as mr abercombie; they're cool kids, and they belong together. scene girls aren't gonna think some guy who's a tennis instructor on the side is a cool guy, that's where the big boobed girl comes in.

and finally another thing about mtv, tonight's "my super sweet 16" looks like a total bummer; some guy attempts to have a crazy, wild party for his birthday, but nobody shows up. believe you me, i know what it feels like to throw a party and have nobody show up, the great ice cream social fisaco of '03. that's probably why i got so heavy, had to eat all of that ice cream. so i expect to see a major weight gain in that guy's future or just a rash, not clearly thought out deletion of peoples' phone numbers on the cell phone and buddies off of myspace.

why couldn't i have been in this meeting when the writer said to the network, "it's 'desperate housewives' meets 'csi'," kristin davis to star in an pilot about two housewives who become p.i.s entitled, "soccer moms"; in related news, the best thing about 'desperate housewives, marica cross, apparently is gay [via defamer & golden fiddle]

krca, the local network behind "buscando amor," the spanish language version of "blind date," only more awkward and with more people hanging out in a hot tub wearing their underwear, also is the home of "secretos," the spanish language version of "cheaters". j.c. urbine, the host of "secretos" has that same calm, cool, caculated vibe of joey greco, but the show its self, seems an awfully lot more violent than "cheaters" and want to be a bit more high tech, so they show the cheating footage on an iBook and they have cameras in peoples' bedrooms. now, the bedroom scenes, or at least the one i saw, was just crazy because it looked like the guy who was doing all the cheating, was attacking some girl. just throwing her all around the bed and what not; i mean i don't speak spanish, so maybe the dude was into rough sex or whatevs, but shit was crazy.

there's "gana la verde, which until i did some research on the show, i thought was just rip off of "fear factor," but i guess these people are going after a green card. for what i saw of the show, it just looked the winner of the show got a cooler filled with capri sun and got hang out in the park a couple of blocks down the street of cal state northridge, which if you've been to that park, you know it's a rockin' spot (the nearby pool parties get intense; you should've heard that one game of marco polo). but 'gana la verde' even has a spanish joe rogan, who probably yells out 'come on' alot, too.

my schedule on monday is perhaps some of the worst time management, evers. i'm on campus from, let's say 12:15 until ten o'clock at night. three classes with about a 90 minute break inbetween them. literally nothing to do. sure i could study study and do the chapter readings, but what's the fun in that? i don't have an ipod yet, to space out with while i write out stuff from the next morning (like i did with this). i could call people up, but i think everybody is either at school or at work, so nobody has the time and more specifically the patience to listen to me complain about sharon waxman's book about david o. russell.
i could play babe/not a babe, but it's not as much fun unless you got somebody to get into an agrument with about a girl and her qualifications for babe status.

the only thing i'd figure i can do to past the time, was to exercise. roughly, i want to say that my backpack weights like two pounds, so i got that on my back as i walk up and down a flight of stairs, like 4 flights of staires. i'm unsure if that even counts as a form of exercise, but i got winded, my arms hurt and my legs are sore, and probably, my back will be out soon enough.

mark my words, our generation is going to have the worst back probelms, ever. we didn't have roll packs or a simple compisition book to carry with us to school. no, we had the trapper keeper, and a thick ass history book, which was only interesting when it got us the chance to play oregon trail in the computer lab. whose with me in launching a class action lawsuit agaist each state's education board for lugging around that heavy english book that we only read one story out of. we've been sloughing because photosynthesis has been keeping us down.

Feb 7, 2005

somewhere only we know

have you ever wrote something that was pretty good and you were on a roll, so you didn't really hit the save button too much and all of a sudden, the computer freezes or the program crashes and you lose everything cept for the skeleton that you started out with. yeah, that happened to me. so if this thing sucks, blame safari!

let us not forget about the offer i put upon the table for topher grace and adam brody. how delicious does that kingburger from fatburger look? i wish i could eat it all over. the relish, the cheese, the everything, it's quite simply amazing.

but hey, toprkey and brody-man, if the size and scope of the kingburger scare, i'll let things slide just a smige and you could get just a regular fat burger with some skinny fries, so you know you won't fell that bad about yourself for eating some thing like that. so guys, come on, let's get a burger together and prove to america that you boys actually eat. tom hanks totally loves fatburger, think about that, toprkey.

may i present to you the new england yankees, i mean patriots, your super bowl champs. i've never heard such an abuse of the term, 'dynasty'. every other word, 'new england dynasty this,' 'belichick's dynasty that'; big deal, they've won three super bowls in four years. if the pats are such a great team, a team of dynasty, an unstoppable force, then why don't they try to dominate in another sport than football? why don't start playing basketball? probably, they could easily take the lakers and maybe the knicks, so why not step the fudge up and start taking everybody on to prove how great they are. frankly, i don't see and i haven't seen it the other two times they won the super bowl.

the whole shebang was all sorts of underwhelming. no good comercials, no good movie trailers, no incidents to be blown way out of portion by conservite groups. all that we got was a horrible show called, "american dad". i think i lasted roughly eight minutes with the show before i switched over to america's funniest videos and to find something funny. i like "family guy," and all, but seth mcfarlane is a one joke pony, "american dad" feels like a collection of unfinished ideas from "family guy" writing sessions interwoven with bad political satire in an attempt to be subserive and cutting edge, and most likely, in your face. yet sadly, they're trying to hard to be wacky; come on, the gay, overweight alien? i've written some bad stuff here and there, but a gay, overweight alien, i mean, i wouldn't even go there for a joke. dana gould, probably, yeah, most likely. so seth mcfarlane, take him on your staff and get him off "the simpsons," asap.

a heads up for any hip hop nerds in the greater la/orange area, k-day is back. i guess they're gonna become the indie 103 of hip hop cept they already play way too much mack 10 and by which i mean, i've only heard one song of his and frankly, that's too many. and they take a page of the kroq playbook, with it's hourly playing of 2pac.

our babe of the week, lesile feist will be at the troubador on march 24th with a bunch of other canadian bands. go and ask why her excellent album, "let it die" has yet to be released domestically? and if does get released out here, will she provide a small rebate for those who picked up the import of it?

i dunno, how many watched "saturday night live" with paris hilton this past weekend, but i have to say this, paris hilton is looking more and more like a drag queen version of herself. the extensions, the make up, her man hands, and how she poses as oposed to standing still like a normal person, it all points to her trying to hedge the drag queens. you know some bullshit thing like, i'm gonna make myself look absolutely crazy and awful and ugly before a bunch of tall guys do it.

umm, i don't know if it's such a good idea to have keane play at whoachella '05 or at least during the daytime. i caught their performance on 'snl' and if their live shows were anything like that, then about a gillion people are gonna be falling asleep, probably getting some nasty sunburns. if they play in one of the tents with like a couple of kots set up in the back, it'll make alot more sense. or the other thing that could happen, is that keane, with their coldplay lite sound could get couples in the mood, hopefully, attractive couples in the mood and they could start making out and what not and it turns into that scene from stand by me, but instead of people throwing up, it's people making out and what not and keane would be yell something like "hey, we're british and we're important cause we don't have a guitarist, so pay attention to us or we'll call up your mums and have them pick you up" then they flashed the lights on and off to get everybody upset.

Feb 6, 2005


is it me or does it seem like you have to go a really well known school like a ucla or an nyu to have good bands play your school at lunch time? it's nice to walk onto campus and hear live music playing. from afar, it sounded like the killers, but then i realized, there'd be no way in heck, they would be at my school. so as i got closer and closer, it just turned out to be a band whose sound and look was basically taken from all of their favorite things in the past couple of years; the lead singer acted like julian from the strokes, one of the guitarists looked like jimmy tamborello, and another guy was way too fashioncore with his parka on (dudebro, it's santa ana winds and all, but it's not that bad) and their sound was well, the killers meets phantom planet with a dash of moving units for good measure. i just wonder is really that hard to get a decent band at school? can't we have like some students only freestyle rap battles like they have at uci? i think more of the student population would enjoy that then some dude whose trying to get some girl who shouted out "are you guys on myspace?" to dance. in some odd way, i think we could probably get the game do a show at our school. basically, if we got everybody who has 'this is how we do' as their ringtone and grouped them together in front of a bunch of microphones and sync it up right, it'd sound just like as if the game and 50 were trading rhymes right on campus, but of course, for only 20 seconds though. and we could get people to freestyle over the mono ringtone version of it.

although, if anybody wants to bring ghostface or bloc party down for a lunch time concert, i won't be mad at ya.

what good the show brought, was the ability to size up the hipster kids on campus. they're skinny, scrwany, and oddly, i'm not impressed with their hair. for whatever it's worth about hipster kids, no matter how rude or how malnourished they look, they always have seem to have good haircuts. i could play the santa ana winds messed up their hair card, but i want to believe they would use enough hair spray or gel for their shit to last through a torando. i dunno, i'm waiting to be wow'ed.

the ipod has created a college campus built and defined by anti socialism, hence why i'm looking to upgrade and get a new ipod ( my old ipod has a scroll wheel,dudes). why not listen to musc instead of one side of a cell phon convo of a gross person talkin' about the gross sex, they are getting. gross. i don't need to hear some dude say 'fuck' about ten times in a row as he struggles to string the rest of his thought together. so if you're looking for me at school, i'll be where the girls do yoga listening to masta ace, so just tap me on my shoulder. sure, i'll be scared, but i just hate it when people come up and start chit chatting away because i look like a jerk as i take off my headphones and pause the song and go through some big process. just tap and pause for a moment, it'll be easier on you and me.

as some may know, i'm a bit, just a wee bit obessevie compulsive when it comes to my pens. i can't write unless i'm using a black & white, black ink paper mate pen. if it's any other pen, it's utterly useless to me. i go as far as to bring my own pen to the bank to fill out withdrawal slips.

and for some reason, these pens are rather difficult to come by. so i hold on very closely to them. at any time, there's at least six pens on me, so when anybody askes for a pen, i tell them that i only have on. who knows what my pen will be used for other than note taking? the rare times when i loan out pens, i cringe as i see the pen all up in somebody's mouth of the cap just being punished by some chompers. do they know where that pen has been? it could've been dropped into a big pile of cigarette butts and coffee filters sprinkled with medicial waste. these people at times have the audicity to give back the pen after class, but thankfully, most pen borrowers are jerk styke and keep it for themselves.

so here's the point, i'm in class packing all of my stuff up to leave. i have a pen left out on the table, next to my backpack. i have a gigemrous folder, like a 3 inch folder, so i have to put that away. so i look at my pen, about to pick it up when this girl, whose apparently my new school's version of my friend, laura, just grabs the pen and puts into her purse. i just sat there stunned as she tried to be sly about the situation; it was an out of body experince and i heard the seinfeld music play as she cruised out of the room. when she took the pen, it seemed like she was smiling and doing it on purpose. maybe she's a clepto or something, but she took pride in making my pen her own.

so as i went to that class for the second, the music from "curb..." was playing. as i sat in my class, i wondered do i confront her about the incident or do i play it where it lays and wait to see if she says something or something with my pen or do i just let shit slide. then i thought maybe i should swipe a pen from her stash. i would like to say that i'm not that petty of a person, but i am. i really am. but this could only happen if she sits next to me, again. i took my seat and eventually, the pen stealer came into class and once again, took a seat next to me.

i created a fortess of sorts using my folder, which has a cartoon drawing of lionel richie's head on it. (so, there'll always be somebody saying "hello" to me at school), so this girl reaches over to take another pen, i can bust her shit, gang starr style. so i just sorta waited for her to bring out a pen to take notes and what not, and if it was my pen, i would say something like, "oh, hey, nice pen."

yet sadly, i did nothing about the matter. i think what made me let shit slide was the fear of having to duck and hide from more people on campus. it's bad enough, i gotta hide from one crazy person, like jump out of a moving car type of crazy, i don't want to hide from somebody i have a class with, twice a week.

Feb 3, 2005

bulletproof wallets

did anybody else catch chris wylde on "american idol" as the rappin' nanny? so sad, yet oddly, a good move cause you know some plucky nerd would be watching and say, 'hey wasn't that the guy who had a horrible show on comedy centeral and was on an episode of trading spaces?' and pull attention to your website and well, you're reading the rest of what would happen or at least i assume that's what would happen.

how has wendy managed to stay alive on "project runway" ? i mean just look at her, she's crazy, but not in that good joanna newsom kind of way. i mean just look at the stuff she has made. it's awful, but she manages to sneak through every week by placing the blame on somebody else and most likely, she'll probably sneak through to the finals with her unkept hair and awful blood red shoes and the fashion world will be like, michael korr, why didn't you vote her out in the third week when you had the chance instead of facing the embarrasement at fashion week. so please send wendy back to her lab and off my tv set. it was bad enough that she put too much clothing on melissa, the hot 16 year old model.

dudes, l.a. hipsters,steve aoki says that the m.i.a. knitting factory show isn't sold out, yet. i'm sincerely dedicating lil scrappy's "what the fuck" to you. do you know that everybody and their kid sister with a 20 gig ipod on the east coast are dying to see this show, but you're sleeping on it. now, allow myself to excuse myself from the situation, i can not make it to the show because i have class on thursday night, i know total bummer and if it wasn't the first week of classes, i'd totally skip out on class, but you, hipsters, should go and say to people afterwards, "i was there when m.i.a. destroyed the knitting factory" and i'll do my best to hum the beat of lcd soundsystem's "losing my edge" to make you even more speical.

if you're not going because you don't like the knitting factory or you've had a bad time there, trust me, it's not as bad as my times at the knitting factory, okay. sure, we may have seen that episode of ashlee simpson where her and ryan yugioh got lost in the parking structure, that's a bad time, but have you had to take pictures of two girls against the walls of that parking structure for one of the girl's 'art project' and flirted with other dudes right in front of you? mind you, not any normal dudes, but ska fans who were hotboxing and underage drinking in their lil' truck? have you ever eaten the designer nachos and had stomach problems and funny colored bowel movements (sorry for being graphic), the next morning? have you ever be so drunk there that somebody who also was intoxicated told you, "you look like how i feel" to which you replied, "what? i'm so out of right now. i have no idea of where my friends are or where i'm sleeping tonight or how i'm even getting home." has some cute girl that hangs out at your favorite mexican resturant took advantage of you and made you buy a cd for her, there? did you go there one time with a girl you used to have a crush on, along with another guy who used to have a crush on the girl and the girl's ex boyfriend is meeting you there, but then the girl you went with, is outside most of the time on her phone, talking to some other dude and crying the whole time? have you causally mention that you were gonna see a band play there in an aim convo or text message with somebody that sorta creeps you out and when you get to the show, that person is there and you feel forced to hang out with them and it's super awkward the whole night? did you have chocolate syrup get all over your designer jeans (that actually happened to somebody i know, but i was there when it happened)? did you go to a show with a friend who ends up pulling a batman and you can't find him, so basically you go down to hollywood blvd to find him, but it turns out, he was asleep in the balanchony area and you missed a bunch of shit trying to find him? so, you see, your times at the knitting factory are nowhere as bad as mine. so suck it up, go there and be apart of something cool. who knows, you'll probably get on cobra snake, see some babes, have a brew and realize that you're better than everybody else cause you saw m.i.a. dude, diplo is djing for m.i.a., so he'll probably slip on the instrumental for "big pimpin" when she does 'bingo' and you could do the dame dash dance and make believe that your red stripe is a bottle of chrissy while you do your dance and shout 'bingo!'.

i mean, what else is there going on tonight that's better than this? you gotta watch "the o.c." cause you wanna see mischa b finally go gay and wear a le tigre t-shirt? do you think that the big kiss is gonna be the second coming of sarah michelle gellar and selma blair's kiss(sorta nsfw)? it's gonna be okay, no spit bubbles or anything like that. you could tivo this and it'll be kosher. unless, you're at super rad hot model, h.j., hollywood hills party with like kelly ripa, scott biao, gene hackman, and alessandra ambrassio featuring a concert by ghostface, then you can skip it, but the chances of all of those peeps being in the same room doing those disgusting things are slim to nill, so go to the knitting factory tonight.

Feb 2, 2005

supreme clientele

first and foremost, music for robots has new prefuse73, meanwhile, fluxblog has brand new out hud; both jawns are extremely ear delicious.

and whichever dudes that are in out hud who are in !!! should totally quit the exclamation points and just stick with out hud.

did y'all catch my super sweet 16 with the new personification of a spoiled child, ava? for as whiney and for as rude and for as stuck up and for as self centered as this girl was, she created for an amazing half hour of televison. far more entertaining than episode of that snooze world: philly. i would rather watch ava stomp around paris complaining about all the high fashion stores are closed in august as opposed to shifting through the muck of when savandona and m.j, will hook up? or is it savandona and landon? who knows. i think more people want to see some 15 year old ball on the level of ja rule; can't we have a show where ava takes on ja rule in a shopping battle? let's see who can drop 10 grand on ugly clothes in an hour, first, but here's the twist, cause you know, every show has to have a twist, they gotta shop at a mall in idaho.

dr. jerry buss, you seem like a smart dude, so take this as a sign that nobody wants to work with your golden child, rudy t quits as lakers head coach. it's cool if you want to apologize to all of the lakers fans and admit that you fucked up and kept the wrong dude around. i think we all sorta knew when you hired rudy t, it was just a dude who could be easily bully'ed by kobe, but now that kobe is out for who knows for how long, rudy t saw it as a perfect time to jump ship. although, it should be noted, jerry buss is slowly, if he has not already achieved this status yet, but he's the al davis of basketball, which is mondo retardo.

here today, gone later that evening, elektra hits the dvd baragin bins in april

tina fey to do a pilot, which ulimately describe as "arrested development" meets "the larry sanders show" but most likely and no offense, tina fey, just not as good. also, tori spelling is gonna do a pilot thats a rip off of "curb...",

i don't understand why all of these tv people are giving money to washed up, unfunny actresses to do curb knock offs. give me money to do that shit. my life is far more funny than tori spelling's. a day at school for me is bound to be ten times funnier than kirstie alley's show. wow, she's an actresses who can't get work cause she's fat and she's fat cause she can't get work and she can't get laid cause she's fat and she's fat cause she can't get laid, i'm so ready to spend 12 bucks a month to get showtime to see that urine inducing comedy. my show would already have people laughing without having to say anything. the openning credits sequence, a direct knock off of "the oc," but instead, it's cut to mobb deep's "shook ones pt. 2" cause you know, in the o.c., it's all about the killers and hundred dollar billers. and if i get the rights to that song, i'll use "neva eva" by trillville

for all of you who that are local and were wondering about "secretos," the spanish language version of "cheaters", it's on at 8 o'clock, i think every night on the same channel that shows "buscando amor". for me, that channel is 41, but it's probably different for you. so flip around and you'll probably find it; it's okay, "lost" is a repeat.

Feb 1, 2005

never as tired as when i'm waking up

first there was the blogging 'expert' on msnbc to report how the internerd is reacting to the big stories, and now may i introduce to you, my father's blog. hopefully, my father won't tell too many embarrasing tales about yours truly.

eon mcaki(probs nsfw) sorta lied to me. art school isn't that sexy and that's the only snap i'll make about fullerton, right about now, hold tight. can i could get a promo copy of eon mckai's next film when it comes out? cause your humble narrator absolutely loved his first film to pieces.

according to an article on ambitious outsider, la times rock critic, robert hilburn calls this year's coachella line up, it's best yet cause his boyfriend, conor obsert is playing on the main stage along with coldplay and nine inch nails. nah, dude, check the technique, last year was better cause the most influential band of the 90s, radiohead played (sorry, nirvana, but to me, you're just an overplayed band with a couple of decent songs and a great acoustic album). i'd rather see bloc party at the glasshouse instead of spending a thousand bucks to see them in eight hundred degree heat.

anybody else catch the kills on subterranean on sunday night and their video, "the good ones"? i think it's pretty funny that in their interview, they talk about how they don't like playing in the sun and at large scale festivals, yet here they are at coachella. they'll probably melt away or something, which would be a total bummer.

to all of you who plan on using my cual de sac as your secret lover's nest, make out spot, whatever sleazy thing you do there, please stop. or at least wait until late at night when my street is at sleep. don't be making out on a lovely sunday afternoon when kids are outside playing and shit. also, learn how to properly park your car; just don't leave it there with the flashers on, forcing me to do a reverse/backing up party while i'm getting my lil' scrappy on, it aint happenin' babe. for as much as i would love to see joey greco or his spanish language eqilvent, the host of "secretos" (it's on the same channel as 'buscando amor,' if you're local) busting a couple on my street, i just don't need that right now, okay. can't the cual de sac go back to the old days of the ocassional cops dusting a drug deal? gross people getting it on in hyundais have got to go.

speaking of things that got to go home, the "mrs. braff" t-shirt. have you seen this? first, we had to deal with all thos 12 year old girls and kimberely stewart claiming that they were "mrs. kutcher," or "mrs. timberlake," now we gotta deal with this? garden state was a good movie and i aint ever watched an episode of "scurbs," so i can't say shit, but to make this dude an indie-bopper pin up is just insane. what's next to be sold at hot topic? mrs. dynamite? mrs. flowers? mrs. ferdinand? durs-durs-durs-durs-durst.

the thing about working on a friend's movie, it's a lot like helping somebody move, but you're moving very important, super expensive items across a mine field. and it's not like you're called up a couple of days before the move, asking if you can help, or at least in my case, i offered my services up early and my name made it's way on the call sheet and i showed up on time. when you're working, it's the single most important thing going on in the world; everything stops because this film could be the big break for your friend cause it could get accepted at sundance and somebody gets a look by a somebody big and hopefully, it'll lead to sexy, hollywood hills underpants parties with coked out wb starlets and the gilmore girl's lauren graham.

there are many cool things about working a student film. basically, it's a cheap film school. you're learning all of the technical terms without having to sit some lecture on the safety proceedures and what good the equipment provides. personally, i couldn't tell you the difference between a 1k and a 2k, i just know that a 2k is heavier than a motherfucker. not to mention, everybody working loves movies, so there's no loss for conversation. you can get into a heated discussion about old boy without ruining it for anybody who may be listening and be able to use terms like "crumbling in the second act," without feeling like a total bagel (carb heavy foods are the new diss terms, y'all).

and there are cute girls who dress like alison from the kills that engage in interesting convos about bowie, joanna newsom and people in common that may or may not look like somebody from "family guy". sure, to keep things going, you may tell her that you don't like rap music, too and you're praying in the back of your mind that nobody calls, so she won't hear your "knuck if you buck" ringtone. but you're more upset because there was a moment where you could've asked to her to go to a blood brothers show and your buddies at the end of the day were asking if you got the number and you blew it.

also, there are times when you're sorta in awe of surroundings. the street set curb you're sitting on is the same spot where jerry seinfeld stole that marble rye from that old lady on an episode of "seinfeld".

there are moments of insanely busy, crazy work. you gotta help move in all of the equipment onto set, then you gotta buy batteries and go to starbucks and all of these of orders are given to you within your first ten minutes on set. and you know how irony likes to be all clever and shit, so as i stood in line at radio shack trying to buy a headphone jack, it attacked me. in front of me, had to have been the world's slowest woman. she was buying a tape recorder and it took like twenty minutes for her to even comprehend the concept of a tape recorder and this was after she had picked one out and was at the register, paying. then after the woman finally partially understood what she was about to buy, the radio shack gy started to talk her into buying like 5 10-packs of batteries. she doesn't need that many batteries; nobody needs that many batteries unless they have a robot. being as stupid as this woman was, she had to have the radio shack guy put the batteries in for her.

i don't know if steam came out of my ears at that moment, but probably it did. i started to pace and tap my feet, but then out of nowhere, the radio shack muzik starts to play the concretes' "you can't hurry love". i tried, real hard to take it as a sign. you know, relax, take it easy. it'll get there when it gets there, but those sweedish people don't seem to understand that this stupid woman is holding up filming the first scene of the day because she can not put fucking batteries into a tape recorder.

so, this woman had some nerve; she turned around and said to me, "i better hurry up. sorry for taking so long." yet she continued to chit cate for five more minutes. five more minutes of being told you have to press down both play & record to record something on a tape. some nerve.

tv/tivo tip for tuesday night: my super sweet 16 while last week's episode was sorta disapointing, but this week's she richie rich takes the cake.