i would love to go to the blood brothers show tonight at the glasshouse, but i'm too old and when a superstar like haylie duff is on "joan of arcadia, the cell phone gets turned off and my world stops for about an hour.
oddly enough, haylie duff's birthday is a day before mine, so since we're both minor celebrites, does this mean we have to joint party together; you know for equal media coverage and what not? cause i'm not really doing anything for my birthday other than probably checking out ted leo in concert and getting a haircut. but if we have to do some joint party, i assume it'll be at some sushi place in la where danny masterson is djing and left all of his ghostface albums at home, but he just didn't want say he doesn't own any ghostface records and wilmer valderrama will give me one of those knit, wool caps that everybody but me wears, saying that if you wanna get with a girl like lindsay lohan, you gotta wear a knit cap and probably in the process, hiliary duff will butcher rod stewert's "maggie may" on the karaoke machine, cause you know these actors are. then like a drunken tara reid will show up, uninivted, late, and, probably her left breast will be exposed and people will poke at it with the back end of a fork and ask her if she feels anything and of course, she'll say, "what?"
anybody everybody notice that their tara reid impression sounds awfully alot like their britney spears impression, only with a frog in their throat?
ps. if anybody is thinking of getting me the new lcd soundsystem album for my birthday, don't. get me dario argento's inferno instead or i heart huckabees, please.
if ray charles wins any awards at the grammys, will jamie fox come on stage and do that stupid 'ahhhhh....oooohhhhh' call & response thing with the audience? if i was clint eastwood or paul giamatti at the oscars and he does that thing, i would stand up in the audience and flip him off, then storm out of the audience, saying that all of this is bullshit. and when i was walking down the red carpet and i was those dudest, i'd flip off star jones because in addittion to talking about she's married, she'd said, now, i liked your movie and all, but jamie foxx is gonna win.
and you just know that kanye west will storm out, flip off, and cry if he loses any grammys to ray charles, because as you know, kanye west is the most humble person in the whole wide world, since he's gonna change his name to "the face" since he's the face of the grammys, this year. kanye, just stick to making beats and tell common to release "food" all ready
i've been wanting to reference this one line that gavin mcinness wrote in vice where he compared some girl to a slayer album, but i've never felt comfortable doing that, because i'm not one for ripping off people i respect, but yeah, this girl, is like a slayer album minus all of the satanic overtones, morbid imagery and dressed up in off white