100 miles and running
before making with the jokes, i highly recommend checking out these jenny lewis solo songs, not trying to be political, the song, "rise up your fists!!" just floored me. the solo album should be out in the summer time on team love. [link via brooklyn vegan]
why does jessica alba look so creeped by eva longoria? is eva longoria goosing jessica alba with the unseen hand? do we need to do a 'hands' check? or did jessica alba much like i first did, thought that eva longoria was paula abdul and was super bummed that only peeps like jeremy piven and paula abdul came to her gq party? or did jeremy piven whisper something rather awful into jessica alba's ear before the photo was taken? i can just imagine that jeremy piven will be outside of jessica alba's house, late on a wednesday night, pouring rain, singing at the top of his lungs, "two weeks in hawaii," the hello goodbye song without a shirt on, to win over jessica alba's affection, but after she yells out that she called the cops, piven is out of there and right into the spider bar, putting the mack down on some girl fresh off the stupid bus. or did like eva longoria just step on a duck, like two seconds before the photo was taken and it was one of those silent but deadly things and it's just destroying jessica alba's nose as the photo is being taken. or it could be that eva longoria is abnormally strong, so her grip is a bit too tight and jessica alba's ribs are getting crushed, i mean, we've all run into those tiny girls who compestate for the smallness with brutal strength, it's sorta like those dudes who drive this giganmorus trucks with the equally as large tires that blind you at night with their lights and what they're compenstating for.
did we all watch "spring break shark attack" last night ? i think i missed most of the plot points in the film because i was laughing so hard; i honestly believe the makers of "spring break shark attack" set out to make a film with the message that college men on spring break are the real sharks to worry about because we only care about one thing, much like how sharks only care about eating people who act like sea lions; so the film had two kinds of sharks: the sexual predator with a shelve less button up without an under shirt and a packet full of ruffies and there's the stock footage, rubber robot, beyond awful sharks of the ocean. who knew that shannon lucio aka lindsey from "the oc" had such a boobie game; i may have liked her more on "the oc", if they let her wear some tank tops every now and then. as i watched this, i came up with an idea to sell to hollywood, a remake of l'avventura set during spring break. the thing pretty much writes its self and we could get somebody like joseph kahn to direct and like ashlee simpson and adam brody wandering around cancun for i don't know, let's say, linsday lohan who has disappeared during spring break. you can shoot it in about six weeks.
all i can say about the film i worked upon this past weekend, is whatever maria full of grace was to drug mule films, the film i worked on, is like that, but for zombie movies. my only regret that i have is i did not act as a zombie. for as much as i love zombie films , i just passed on being a zombie simply for the fact, that on the day at chapman university when they show all the senior thesis films, i'm not in four of them; but instead, i'm in two and you can see my feet in another. i figure it'd make some kid whose parents dropped a gem on their film education jealous since i got pretty much the same education as he did and i spent half the money and i got my name all over quality work. hopefully, my name gets spelled correctly.
speaking of school, i need like a sidekick while i'm at school. the people that i'm sorta friendly with are girls and frankly, i don't believe the chumy-ness level i have with these people would allow for me to say, "hey, check out the knobs on that girl." so, i need some artie lange type of dude who'd go to school with me, you know walk around campus and what not, so i can get some laughs for my observational humor. i think why i didn't write that much last week because i had too many jokes about school. so you know, i need a big, hardy laugh when i say something about jewel quest. not to mention, i could use the extra body in my car on wednesday afternoons when i'm going home. the 5 is a real bitch around 5 o'clock, so if i carpool, it'd be a breeze. i'm not asking too much and if the dude didn't want to sit in my class with me, i mean he'd have to sit in class a few times, to catch up on a few reference points, but the dude could go down to the campus pub and have a beer and maybe bowl a couple of frames, my treat, of course.
dang, what happened to mischa b? she looks like she's in her mid 30s and trying to make the 'oh, i'm curious' her new look. she's sorta scary, but fubar proves that mischa b can look hot while lounging around on a boat; way hotter than brittany gastineau on a boat.
but check out rachel b at same thing, and the girl looks as cute as a button. after seeing her, i decided that i wanted to spend my entire spring break hanging around the new marc jacobs store in la, hoping that maybe i'd run into rachel b or some other girl on her level and pretend to try clothes on, but you know how these designer clothes are, either they're too tight or too big, no middle ground. i'd do it; i would totally be there, but i'm just not confident enough in my parking to pull it off. at my driving school, they said, that the dmv do not test people on parrell parking any more, so we don't teach it; i have no forking clue as to how to do.
and i would've continued on with jamie chung as the babe of the week, but i'm never home on monday night to watch "road rules/real world challenge: inferno 2" and frankly, i can't stand to watch another challenge with road rules veronica. yeah, no coral, but still, there's the miz and veronica.