chandeliers and vines
i dunno if you caught last night's episode of "i want a famous face" with crystal and her attempt to look britney spears, so she could get more confidence and finally pursuing that impossible dream of becoming a stripper in orange county. so we see crystal checking out a strip club and of course, it's not one in her own town, but it's one in my town (there are two strip clubs in my town and basically, they're right down the street from each other, conviently located near the 5 freeway and if you want to be super picky, on certain thursdays, there's a third strip club in town called club glam). unfornately, your humble narrator has been to this particular strip club and i really identified with crystal as she was crying in her jeep while debating whether or not to be apart of amateur night. dudes, she made the right move because that place is so sketchy and creepy, and frankly, the women aren't too friendly to nerdy guys who want to talk about q & not u and the works of pablo neutra (if you're a close friend, then you know who i'm talking about). i mean, we're trying to strike up a conversation and we want to know if the girl we're thinking of getting a lapdance from is into cool stuff. you know, i can't be in a situation where the girl is grindin' against and the dj starts to play afi all of a sudden and she shouts to me, while in the process of getting body glitter over the jeans, "oh my god, i love this song. afi is like my favorite band, ever." i'm already tension enough as is.
can we get a hurry up of sorts for this neon blonde album? shit is beyond redonklcious. if you're going to whoachella, bug johnny about it or at least request them to do "chandeliers and vines" a whole mess of times, but only if it's one of those little tents; you're going to be yelling about nothing if it's one of those big fields. someone like a jonas akerlund should either make all of the videos or at least make a musicial using these songs.
a word of advice from me to you about whoachella, this weekend. if the hotel, you're staying at as a pool and you're doing the two day thing, on sunday, don't get up early, wake up whenever, go for a swim, take a shower, grab a nice meal, then cruise over. i mean, on sunday, you only gotta see what the blood brothers, diplo, m.i.a., arcade fire, fiery furnaces, then you're home, probably even in enough time to catch the season premiere of the shit storm known as "american dad," just so you can say, they took off arrested for this horseshit?
speaking of arrested development, go to this site, sign up, and instill yourself with a sense of false hope that it won't get canceled. then tell two friends and then they'll tell two friends.
everybody's on the wavelength that paula abdul is about one painkiller away from pulling an anna nicole and telling vonzell that they'll make 'beautiful music together,' but then she'll up the ante but getting on top of the judges' table and busting into an acapella version of "straight up," to which randy jackson will say, "it was kinda hot, but pitchy."
isn't weird to hear somebody bump the dip set in their car really loudly? i mean, like in new york, yeah, i see it, but i mean, isn't a major portion of the dip set fan base, goofy indie rock kids and not dudes in corvettes that their dads bought cause they squeezed through high school with a 1.8 gpa.
good news for those without hbo, curb your enthusiasm season 4 dvd in the very near future.
i honestly put a bit of thought into my proposed remake of michael bay's the rock. basically, it could either be an olsen twins vehicle or a duff sisters vehicle. personally, i see the duff sisters in this one, as a pair of sisters whose mother recently pasted away living in san fran with their brother (jimmy fallon) who works as a tour guide on alcatraz island. while hiliary and haylie are shopping for furry boots, they pass by a tv set with breaking news that their brothers, along with a group of tourists, including that one lady who said "i should've brought my motherfucking gun" in the orignial film have been taken hostage by an elite group of terrorists led by willem dafoe with the overall goal of world domination or money, i dunno, it's all the same in these action movies. so hil and hay jump into action, but are thwarted by the sfpd, who tell them that a couple of teenage girls can't solve a hostage situation, yet one man believes they can, hil and haylie's estranged father played by russell crowe, who also happens to be super duper army guy or something; well basically, he's exactly like arnold in commando. and somehow, there's a wacky character whose in love with one of the duff sisters named, caligula exxxplosion; he's like everybody's favorite, napoleon, but even more wackier and gets to fight elite terrorists.
and finally, much like the same way suburban white kids assimilated to hip hop culture, well, hipsters, i dare to say this, but your lifestyle is in the process of being assimilated by the ever dreadful, regular folks. i think regular folks are hungry for good music, for example, i had to take my car in, to have a tire fixed (actually, our hate mail comes in the form of nails in our car's tires) and i was listening to "beauty & the beat" by edan in my car; when i gave the guy my car, it was on track 1 and by the time, i got it back, it was on track 9. scary sign number 1, tire repair dudes are diggin' upon edan and just the other day, i was cruising through a parking lot when i saw a cable repair guy, rocking out to the arcade fire at full blast in his car. i mean, what's next? the united states postal service delevring the mail while listening to postal service remixes on their ipod? you can't get any help at the bank because the tellers are too busy talking about the shins show they went to last night while the other is talkin' about the ravonettes? hold music will now feature the likes of the pixies and the mars volta? what is sacred nowadays with the hipsters? probably, they'll be carrying a speciality line of diseal jeans at wal-mart pretty soon, too.