&t skeet on mischa: why part 2

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Apr 20, 2005

why part 2

frankly, you may want to print this one out or at least, hope that you have a wireless connection because this is sort of a bathroom read.

so bear with me, i have things on my mind and this was the only way i knew how to get them out. one of these days, it'll all make sense.

-why is it that the day i decided to bump the music loud in my car on my street, i get nothing but dirty looks, yet nobody seems to have a problem when people are washing their car at 9 in the morning on a saturday morning, blasting out nelly
-why were kids, like elementary school kids singing the choruses to limp bizkit and kid rock songs the other day?
-why can't they make a pack of only the red starbursts
-why can't friends be more polite and tell you that you have major pit stains going on and to ease off on the arm rasing for a smidge?
-why is it a constant struggle to break 70mph on the 5 freeway in the afternoon?
-why don't people watch "arrested development" and are these the same people who think jay leno is hilarious?
-why is jaywalking illegal when jay leno's 'jay walking' is legal? jay leno causes more injuries telling bad jokes then somebody whose jogging across a street.
-why does jay leno only wear those denim shirts?
-why do i have so many questions about jay leno?
-why do we care about: paris hilton, nicky hilton, nicole richie, kimberely stewert, jessica simpson and ashlee simpson? why are they constantly in my face with their relationship problems and little dogs, that let's face it within a year or two, will be ignored when either the baby or the latest trendy pet accessory comes along
-why is vh-1 and just tv in general shoving joss stone and the black eyed peas and like john legend into my face? if i wanted to listen to these people, i would. i don't need to hear tom cruise's comments about how awesome joss stone is. she's not awesome and celebrities, in general, have horrible taste in music.
-why can't they retool "the oc" and change the name of it to "the trey-c" and have it be about trey as a magnum p.i. type of detective solving sexy crimes in the oc with like peter gallagner as his sidekick; cause shit is getting boring and tired. wow, seth and summer are together, now, they're not, oh wait, they're back together, no i spoke too soon, geeze louise, just write a character off and spare us the nightmare known as adam brody playing dramatic.
-why did hip hop suck in '96?
-why do i feel like a douche at 'underground' hip hop/california crews shows? you can't dance, but you have to do stupid stuff with your hands and say, "ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh" when ever somebody does a freestyle; i mean, i have clue as to what makes a good freestyle, so i've said "oh" when i saw supernatural rap and started to make fun of a kid who was wearing an ash from pokemon hat cause that was funny, but the rest of time, i just said it to go along with the crowd. not to mention, how it always seems that i'm standing next to the guy whose probably smoking the strongest weed ever and i'm falling over from a contact high.
-why aren't there more follow up shows with reality tv? i'd like to see what's road rules angela outside of the confines of a challenge without coral & the miz jumping around and mixing it up with people over nothing. you know, i want to see what has happened to the crib of sisquo, since now he's working at the foot locker in the beverly center. how's sisquo living now, that's what i want to see.
-why does samaire armstrong, allegedly, have to be on the blow?
-why does the walkmen's song make want to act my age?
-why haven't those five film godard's 66-67 period come out on dvd yet?
-why does the art house movice scene in orange county suck? why can't i go to a midnight movie on a friday night? you know, none of this middle of the week, same night and time as when "lost" is on bullshit. i'm talking about lining up at 11 o'clock in the cold for the road warrior on a friday night with a bunch of trailers for old movies as well.
-why is that the only music i actually hear on mtv2 is on commercials for horrible music from victory records? while, i do enjoy "wonder showzen," it just seems whenever i flip by, it's always the one episode of "wonder showzen" that i've already seen a couple of times or mtv2 is the middle of a shitstorm known as a team sanchez marathon. talk about being beyond durst: straylight run jawns and a bunch of smelly english guys doing bad johnny knoxville impressions, that's what all of the cool kids are into these days.
-why do the simpsons suck nowadays?
-why did they have to show the best or at least what could potentially be the best of the "lost" season finale in their promos?
-why do the ipod ear buds hurt and lack so much bass?
-why do i find it hard to believe that kelly osbourne has seen godard's alphaville? i love godard, but even i fell asleep during that one.
-why did they re elect bush?
-why did we elect the terminator?
-why can't they fix the potholes on the freeway?
-why is it whenever i leave for school in the late morning/early afternoon period, there's only big rigs and moving trucks that think they can hang in the second land on the freeway?
-why isn't there a freeway specifically for big rigs? like the 710 in long beach, but you know bigger, longer and better.
-why isn't there a rosco's house of chicken & waffles in orange county?
-why does everybody loose their mind over in-n-out burgers when clearly tommy's and fatburger are superior?
-why haven't i gotten a haircut yet?
-why do i feel nerdy when i think a shot in a porno is a reference to bunuel? (eon mckai, i'm looking at you)
-why did the lakers have to keep kobe?
-why is jadakiss as hard as it gets?
-why don't producers instead of making ringtones, make beat magazine IE a service in which people pay money and like once a month or every couple of months, a cd comes in the mail with unused beats or a mix of songs that the dude is feeling at the time. just imagine, going to the mailbox and putting out a cd with stuff by like madlib or just blaze.
-why did they have to close lot b?
-why don't i get any hate mail?
-why didn't i think of doing what that cobra snake dude did first?
-why is this year's coachella's line up rather undelicious?
-why is 2005, the revange of the boobs? after being perscuited in 2004 and the countless years in the 2ks, playing second fiddle to the ass, boobs are back in a big way, no pun intended. nowadays, you got movies like sin city with bare boobies all over the place and maybe it's more of a product of my new surroundings, but it just seems like everybody's got a nice rack. girls are letting their spirits free and in the summertime, it's only gonna get better.
-why is sam from the bravery and brandon from the killers in the midst of a bitch fest over the title of 'this generation's duran duran'? let's face facts, the bravery is nothing more than a radio disney version of moving units where as brandon flowers wears body glitter. both are losers in my books, yet oddly, i can't seem to find a way to delete them off my ipod.
-why do people like rob thomas believe that the world is claraming for a solo album? sure, we might've liked "smooth" back in the late 90s but did anybody pick up a matchbox twenty album, post "smooth"? no, so why put out a solo album? (related: there is a videotape somewhere in my office or in orange county, that has myself and robin brown doing a cover of "smooth" and it earned us an 'a' in a production class)
-why is amanda peet so unlikable?
-why aren't there any blogger groupies or at least why i haven't found any blogger groupies?
-why does it seem that the only way to get on mtv is to do a reality show about pop/rock star marriage? so i'm hoping to maybe get one of the girls from the like to get into a fake marriage, so we could be on mtv, promoting various things. it'd be a sham like the barkers, but you know, something might happen.
-why do the blood brothers make me feel so old?
-why does chain reaction smell like pee? i know that it was the place of brutal stabbings and cocaine rings in the past and is haunted by ghosts, but yet why does it smell like pee?
-why did kanye west and abercombie & fitch ruin the popped collar look?
-why does getty images put their logo over the best part of the picture?
-why haven't i stopped this list yet?

12 Comments:

At 7:17 AM , Blogger Dan said...

-why did hip hop suck in '96?

It's the money....

Dj Shadow, a fucking genius

 
At 8:56 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

that was fun

 
At 10:39 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, that really was fun to read.. and it was a great way for me to kill some time at work... (BTW, i don't think Shadow was really feelin Puffy back in '96)

 
At 12:29 PM , Blogger Dan said...

I doubt that DJ Shadow is feelin' Puffy (excuse me, P Diddy) in the Year of the Nickel, either. I mean, you pretty much coulda just re-released that song "Why Hip Hop Sucks in '97," "Why Hip Hop Sucks in '98," etc., every year. I mean really... No Limit? Cash Money?

I was thinking about this the other day (and will probably turn it into an extended blog post in the near future), that maybe it's just me, but its never gonna be like 93-96 in hip hop again. I mean, it seemed like every month or two you were getting hit with an absolute classic-- Illmatic, Ready To Die, Enter The 36 Chambers, Reasonable Doubt, Only Built 4 Cuban Linx..., Mobb Deep's The Infamous... you just don't have that quality anymore, and certainly not near the consistency. I mean, I still bumb all of those albums on the regular, 10 years later. What was the last truly great, classic hip hop record? Probably Outkast's Aquemini, or maybe (emphasis on the maybe) Em's The Marshall Mathers LP. But even then, its a real stretch to compare those albums to the great ones mentioned above. Who knows, maybe I'm just a jaded NY'er who came up in 93-94 when East Coast rap was at its prominence and is caught up in nostalgia and fond memories.

Sorry for rambling on so long...

 
At 3:45 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why is Douglas Reinhardt reading my mind? and p.s. I'm a total blogger groupie...

 
At 10:12 PM , Blogger Thigh Master said...

or why doesn't Trey do a one man show all about the life of Tre Cool of green day fame. Maybe Peter Gallagher can shmear bagels and sing as the opening act! juss think of it...

 
At 10:29 PM , Blogger spencer said...

re: the all red starbursts pack, your tongue would burn burn babay burn. burn so good, oh, burn so good. soooooooooooo good.

 
At 9:18 AM , Anonymous 86 said...

i hate your guts, douglas!!! i hate your guts so much things around me are CATCHING ON FIRE!!!!

 
At 3:43 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"-why don't people watch "arrested development" and are these the same people who think jay leno is hilarious?"

awesome. arrested is my favorite show ever. and to think i thought seinfeld was the best...

nice list! because we've all pondered most of this stuff, which is why it rings so true. good job

 
At 7:42 PM , Blogger Jesus Martinez said...

why can't I masturbate, because it is against god's way thus resulting in a wet dream once every three weeks that awakes me covered in cum and very ashamed!?!


Great post yo

 
At 9:52 PM , Anonymous Jp said...

Holy crap.....You have just written the best post of 2005 so far. Hands down.

 
At 5:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Getty Images puts their logo over the best part of the image because it is a sample. Public use of samples is IP theft. If Getty Images felt like it, they could slap a lawsuit on you, charging up to 5 times the licensing fee (you should have paid) for each illegal use. Don't be an idiot.

 

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