&t skeet on mischa: zombies weird me out

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Apr 28, 2005

zombies weird me out

the reason why anthony fedorov will never be voted off "american idol" is cause he appeals to this weird demographic, 8 to 12 year old girls. to these girls, anthony is anybody but threatening; they see themselves out for a ride on a unicorn while anthony gentlely sings "when a man loves a woman" (which they call their favorite michael bolton song) into their ear and maybe picking some flowers after a lovely tea party. you know a guy like those grunge revivalists/second comings of scott stapp just scare young girls; they want an idol who makes them feel like a pretty, pretty princess or at least play a game of pretty, pretty princess with 'em.

i can't explain scott savol's success though. i mean, could america, since it's an overweight country be rallying all of their support behind him. is there a common thought of 'he's like me, so i'm gonna vote for him even though he sorta sucks.'


i'll tell you one thing that doesn't suck, mandy moore. still cute, perhaps even a bit more cuter with a basset hound in hand. i see her as the type to pick up after her, unlike myself. i had to have a sense of fear instilled in me by some guy from across the street before i start picking up dog business. although, i worry that carrying a dog business bag in your back pocket is apart of the infamous hanky code cause some middle age dude in convertable was checking me out weirdly the other day. slightly related: the guy who yelled has either a friend or co worker or brother who happens to be one serious racists or in toby keith terms, a true american because all over the windows on his camper shell is written stuff like, "proud support of our troopers on the border," "i <3 the minutemen," "if you want to save california, control the border," you know stuff like that.

ever notice that the barkers have alot of yes people and hanger-on's? it just seems basically anybody whose a friend of theirs is paid to hang around them and go to the louis vuttion store and get stuff. it may be a case of 'spreading the wealth,' which is nice, but at the same time, doesn't it seem rather sad because basically, you're paying somebody to be your friend. i mean, i got summer school for like a month, but pretty much from july to like late august, i open for any position as a celebrity friend. i got some one liners, i got some good stories and more importantly, i wax the car known as your ego. all i ask in exchange for my services, a place to stay, doesn't have to be at home, but a near by hotel is cool; gas money, free food and a recommendation letter. the only thing i'm not willing to do is wear your clothes if you have a clothing company; while, your clothes are simply the best and the hottest things since marc jacobs started making clothes, i gotta rock my own stuff, can't explain why, but i just got to. i'll be the designated driver, i'll be the guy who takes out the trash at 8 in the morning while you're nursing that killer hang over, i'll throw eggs at wanye brady's house, whatever it takes to be your profesional bff.

as you know, this week and last week, we've got the chance to either see or hear bits and pieces from things coming out this summer. from the rather lackluster (hi coldplay) to the good (new kanye & white stripes) to the mind blowing (neon blonde & george romero's land of the dead), well, your humble narrator has some how managed to see pilot for the fall season. i'm not at liberty to say what show or how i saw this show, but i can tell you this much, it was very funny and if anything felt like a sequel or continuation of undeclared. so hopefully, it will get picked up because it will be a shame for those who like to laugh cause what, we got like 48 animated projects from seth mcfarlane on fox next season, and like the freddie prinze jr show with brian austin green, and you know all of those things will be piss your pants funny.

4 Comments:

At 7:36 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

early bird, eh?

 
At 12:44 PM , Blogger E.B. Noodles said...

>>they see themselves out for a ride on a unicorn while anthony gentlely sings "when a man loves a woman" (which they call their favorite michael bolton song) into their ear and maybe picking some flowers after a lovely tea party.<<

(giggle) That tickled me much, and not just because I'd enjoy a lovely tea party.

But "when a man loves a woman" might be a bit too heavy to sing on a unicorn. What about "A Whole New World"? Or has he sung that already?

 
At 2:18 PM , Blogger Alexa said...

I'm so glad Constantine is finally gone. I could stand his dumbass looks anymore.

 
At 3:54 PM , Blogger Ian said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa- slow down there, professor. "Undeclared" is back, or at least a reasonable facsimile? Sweet mother of god. That was, and probably will be, the most accurate and funny sitcom ever made about college (and it's another topic why there seem to be so few attempts at it). You know if a DVD's coming out?

 

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