&t skeet on mischa: beauty school dropouts

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

May 27, 2005

beauty school dropouts

i think as a public service for those who suffer from insomnia and have an overall fear of taking sleeping pills caue of the 85 million side effects including diarreha that come with 'em, that coldplay and death cab for cutie should tour together as the monsters of bore. each ticket purchased comes with a mat, blankie and juice & cookies. i guess, it'd be the ideal show for lovers and seth cohen, but for your humble narrator, "bupha, this is the sound of me snoring".

i mean i'd listen to coldplay if their music had this same spirit. like if "speed of sound" actually made girls get on to the hoods of cars, instead of making people feel like they're adults and wonder if all of their bills are paid this month. well, i guess, everybody has to deal with that, but you know, coldplay is the new nora jones. also, if the darkness had videos like this and got rid of that vocalist guy, i'd be down or if metalcore bands made videos like this. instead of boring, pretenious hack jobs from fincher wanna bees fresh out of film school, why not have a sense of humor and have some girl roll around on a ford fiestva during some killer breakdown

related; this girl is still outta control like a line at starbucks at 8 in the morning. why isn't she on the real world or like mtv in some capacity? why not her as the new host of 'wild on...' ? i could always trott out that treatment of mine called, "rockin' the scene," which was the 'indie rock' verion of 'wild on' cept, you know interviews with indie bands, drinking it up at faux dive bars, helpful hints on how to stay pale and maybe tours of hometowns with yr favorite bloggers with a snappy theme song by diplo.

word to the wise for next weekend, before y'all head out to the el rey to see bloc party, you may wanna swing down costa mesa way and hit up the paul frank summer sale. i'd go, but i don't want another panic attack from trying to find a parking spot, but yeah, it's gonna be babed out and there will be some tees for nice prices.

new dip set mix tape; there's alotta juelz santana, but you know, he's got an album in july, but it's all good. dip set, all day, every day.

related, does anybody know a store that sells those giant shirts with biggie on them? i want to get one, but you know normal size, naturally. for the fall, i want to rock the look of horror movie shirts from rotten cotton (mostly the argento ones) and hip hop gear.

j5 and the donnas are rip shit up with dj dan at electric daisy carnival in the san berndo this summer. we'd go, but you know, it's the 909 and if you've seen j5 once, you're pretty much golden

in case you haven't noticed this week, the new key on my keyboard thats sticking is the 's' key. so there be a lost 's' here and there.

could alexis bledel look even more uncomfortable on "trl" the other day? i mean, i wouldn't want to be on that show either cause who the fuck is tyler hilton and jesse mccarthy? are they related to paris and paul, repectively? probably, she'd be more comfortable tossing to a shins video or whatevs. or maybe, she ate some bad food at lunch or in the green room and it's like the battle of modor in her tummy or something. also, can anybody explain the show, "the gilmore girls" to me? i watched it for 15 minutes once like two years ago and all i can remember was there a nerdy girl living in a closet. i want to be able to understand, not necessarily be caught up to speed, so i engage in whatever season the show is in, i just want to know what's up because i like lauren graham; she's good on talk shows and alexis bledel was good in sin city.

if you sorta remix lisa lisa and the cult jam's slow jam classic, "all cried out," and replaced 'cried' with 'laughed,' you'd reach my current state of mind. i haven't laughed either this hard or this much in a while; well at least, from tuesday to like thursday afternoon, i was consistently laughing at something. first off, there's chappelle's show season 2 dvd; it still makes me laugh and perhaps, it's the 11 in me, it's even funnier to hear all the dirty words unbleeped. and secondly, on wednesday, it was my last class of the semester, so me and my class friend, who had been spent the whole semester goofing on people in class and just about everything else in the world, so you know, we had to get all the jokes out because you know, when am i going to make fun of the class dad who flirts with the professor and eat dove bars and has game ringtones. this bit of infectious snaps, diss and jokes literally blew my mind and i had a case of sensoury overload. literally, there was too many funny things going on at once and i just got this horrible headache. allow me to paint the scene for you, myself, i'm still laughing over this lord of dogtown yelling 'what' at his skateboard after he had difficulties riding over two different forms of concrete, then my friend is telling me some joke, then in another spot, we had two frat bros talking with two frat girls about partying and how awesome it is live on campus and within that little sewing circle of frat people, there was a girl who could've been a page 3(nsfw) girl if she lived across the pond and you know, state college, holla! so literally, i had all of these going on all at once and i just felt my brain fall apart and i left the area in which i was sitting because i had to drive alone eventually and i think i would not have been possible if i continued to listen frat boys & girls carry a conversation on.

anybody catch "i want a famous face" the other night? the one about the girl who wanted to be a hair model and look like posh spice and lives in huntington beach. cause the people on that episode are sorta like the characters i'm gonna write/ing about in my scripts. so hopefully, people thought those people were interesting because other wise, i have to go back to the drawing board and focus in on horror scripts.

i'd say something about getting my haircut the other day, but first off, it'd be hypocritical because ohmygosh, i feel so violated because i was judged by hipsters, who in turn are the same people that i judge. it's like that one argument i got into with a person the other day who said i can't be critical of people seeming rude and anti social because i am myself am anti social and not very approachable, to that i said something about how she spends her weeekends at appleebee's. and secondly, i just feel weird because i go to these haircutting schools cause it's cheap and i have a thing for girls in black, but girls who go to the school that don't feel really up to cutting some hair after lunch, hang around, watching as i get my hair cut. i guess that's part of the deal of getting cheap hair cuts is that you have to deal with an audience. you know, i'm a person who can barely be photographed, so to have an audience around me, begin move around in my seat, which of course, isn't good while getting your hair cut. and i can count down to when one of these people will say to me either, "oh, i wish i had curly hair like yours," and "ladies love that curly hair." okay, here's the thing, i've never met anybody whose loved my hair other than my mother. well, maybe i have, but still, it's not a fun thing to hear over and over again. so it's all the unnecessary attention towards me filled with this weird feeling of do i have to say something or should i be quiet cause i have a lot of hair and they need to focus in on their job. literally, i've been asked, "why don't you say anything" and when i do say something, generally about the show, "blow-out," they don't know what i'm talking about. then there's the rub of not getting the foxy stylist. yes, i have a dream of getting some foxy girl to cut my hair. you see, i don't think i'd be at a lost for words in that circumstance because i don't think she'd want to strike up a conversation and frankly, i love to ease drop on people; so i wouldn't mind listening to the stylist talk to her friend who is trying to duck out of doing a hair cut about how they should the friend's hair. that i don't mind. but when i got two other people standing around saying, "wow, you're cutting alot off."

in fact, i learned that beauty school kids and film school kids are pretty much the same people. they're the worst people to watch movies with and they're the worst people to look through star magazine with and most definately, they're going to be completely obnixous with hd tv takes off. not to mention, alot of them listen to metalcore for some reason.

and with that, people, i'm out until tuesday. so if you're gonna be drinking this memorial day weekend, make sure you have somebody sober to drive you home or at least a crouch to crash on at the place you're drinking, if it's a house party. also, remember to eat something while getting all sortas of crunk and if you're bbq-ing, cooking shit all the through, but not canjun style. also, if you're gonna be the crazy guy with a digital camera at your hipster bbq, wait a minute before crusing over and take pictures of the foxes, you're just gonna creep 'em out and you're fucked for the whole party. and as i've said before, carding people is fun, so if they look a wee bit too young to drinking a coronoa, card 'em and if they're barely scraping by, break 'em off with some coors light. and if you're djing, you gotta play "ace of spades" by motorhead or you're not human at all or at least throw a little "hootie hoo" by master p featuring c-murder and silk the shocker.

ps. how does a blogga get hooked up with passes to see high tension a bit early?


At 12:14 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey you can get those obey shirts on http://www.digitalgravel.com/itemdetails.cfm?prod=5658&cat=1&vndr=1021

At 8:05 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please continue to post about Coldplay being boring. Each variation on the bit is more scintillating than the last.


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