&t skeet on mischa: free the libertine aka hate it or love it

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

May 16, 2005

free the libertine aka hate it or love it

for some reason, i have an obsession with rebellion or at least forms of rebellion and sticking it to the man. the last great form of rebellion, punk rock is now a marketing tool, so what’s left? what can people do to show the fact that they’re attempting to be against the system and the grain, if you will? can’t get a tat because everybody and their kid sister has one, if not two of them these days. graffiti is considered art by some, so bombing a train ain’t no big thing. then it came to me at school one day, i saw this one girl cruising to her car in the parking lot and she was wearing a tank top with a bikini top underneath, that is the last form of rebellion. i mean, how in your face is this girl with the fact that she’s already done with her busy work and now, she’s gonna go to the beach, and it’s like 11o’clock in the morning. if i had a job and i saw one of these ‘so going to the beach’ girls while i was scarfing down a burrito so i can make it back before my lunch break is up, i’d be so upset. it’s like the biggest fuck you to society since iggy pop cut his self and smeared peanut butter all over his wounds.

undoubtedly, tan lines are the new nose rings and “vamos ala playa” by u.s.e. is the new “anarchy in the uk”. although, the same can't be said about boys in board shorts. its kinda creepy and frankly, i'm not comfortable that a thin piece of fabric is all that protects me from seeing somebody's stinky junk.

the ‘a’ key on my keyboard is sorta sticking, so i may be avoiding words with ‘a’s for a minute, now. don’t worry about it, dude. i got a thesaurus, so i'm gonna keep it movin'.

friendly reminders, evelynn, you still have my copy of wet hot american summer and i'd like to get it back. rob, also, i still have your copy of "daydream nation," do you want it back?

it can either be chalked up to southern california's love for their latest rap hero, the game or the broad, crossover appeal of dr. dre production, but as i was leaving in-n-out the other day, i swear to goodness, i saw these grannies in a convertable, top down, blasting "how we do". i guess, grandma likes to move and act like a fool while up in the rec room of the nursing home.

i don’t know how many of you are still hanging with the rather awful real world/road rules challenge: inferno 2 (save for dan, he’s entertaining). i haven’t because i got night classes, but on the chances that i have seen it, umm, the miz, mister pro wrestler wanna be, mr meat head, jock-o #1 has totally pussed out on the inferno challenges at the end of the show. like his level of pussing out is on par with me pussing out on social events and correct me if i’m wrong, but doesn’t the miz present himself as the tough dude who’ll never back down when his back is against the eight ball or whatever horrible sports cliched metaphor you want to interject into the discussion. yet, the miz, we’re seeing on tv this season is a dude who think i even could maybe take in a fight, if push came to shove. if anything, i saw the man that the miz will become in a couple of years the other night while picking up some dinner. he’s gonna be one of those dads who’ll try to be hip and cool, but really, it’s just an embarrasement to the children.

ever see one of those dads? for me, when you become a parent, you lose all of your rights to be hip and modern because you’re focused on raising a child. your cocerns shouldn’t be with heading over to nordstroms cause there’s a sale on designer jeans (there was a time when i would know the name of the it jean, but since i’ve switched to levi’s, i have no flippin’ clue anymore). it’s just embarrasing to be that kid who has to go to friday night dinner with mom and dad is wearing ripped jeans and some flowery button up then off to blockbuster to pick up some bad movie. it doesn’t even matter if the father has the money to spend on nice clothing, buy like tommy bamaha shirts and rock dockers.

gotta love the french photogs because they’re only cocerned with one part on maxim’s hottest woman in america, eva longoria. in regards, to maxim’s hot 100 and fhm’s hot 100, we have a quick little list of skeet on mischa’s top ten hottest: rachel bilson, lesile feist, that apple bong girl from the cobra snake, sun from “lost” (that kate girl is way overrated; she’s jennifer garner when “alias” first came on the scene status), jenny lewis, julissa from bet,the girl with the short hair in the new louis xiv video(nsfw), that latina girl from the pat o’brien show, maria menounos, and gwen stefani's harajuku girls, especially the one in the hollaback girl video with the r. kelly corn rows.

i can personally relate to alex from a clockwork orange, nowadays. save for a couple of films, including johnny benson, it was sheer tortue the other day as i watched like 4 or 5 straight hours of student films. it just makes you wonder the amount of money people raised for their project and the way it turned out; it may have cost 20 grand but it don't look like 20 grand up on the screen. sure, these are just peoples' first, big, real project, but for the amount of money it cost, it just begs me to be overtly critical. ever since, i've taken a couple of courses over this past school year, i've become increasingly critical and look for symbolism and explain symbolism in shots or at least, attempt to make symbolism out of nothing. i want to say, "did you have x character in the shadows when x was talking to y character because x doesn't feel worthy to talk y, like the scene in 8 1/2 where guido talks to claudia?" although, one of the few good films and probably the best film i saw that day was a film called darling, darling and i have no idea if it has a website or anything, but it was rather amazing. it starred michael cera aka george michael from "arrested development" and it was the most deconstructive guy meets the father before the first date movie ever made. if you have the chance, watch darling, darling, johnny benson, and facility 4 if you do the festival thing.

can anybody actually explain why it was a good idea to record the commentary track for the life aquatic dvd in a fucking resturant? the cuteness factor of doing a commentary track where the film was written wears off in about two minutes as the sounds from other people in the restruant drowns out wes anderson. does wes anderson hate film students? i dunno, if he receives like 30 awful student films on dvd every day that aren’t like rushmore, but more like dynamite and to pay them back, he did a commentary track where you can’t hear a thing he’s saying. i mean these kids are the ones who’ll write flowerly essays about how brilliant his work is and you know, when it comes to the life aquatic, it’ll be a lbit lite on insight and interesting quotes about the film’s themes (how junior year english class am i?) and production problems. you gotta take care of the kids, wes. although, upon second viewing, the life aquatic isn’t so bad; it’s a fellini film with action sequences and no religious undertones.

mtv the other night ran a back to back marathon of “laguna beach: the real orange county” and “my super sweet 16,” and it just made me wonder why haven’t mtv aired the new episodes of these shows? ratings are down for all prime time programming. nobody gives a fuck about travis barker. nobody wants to see rich people traveling to exotic locales and preach to us about how we have to save the environment. nobody wants to hear some rapper or celebrity point out that he/she has a copy of scarface on dvd for like the umpteeth time and frankly, plastic surgery shows are rather played out. so bring out kirstin and lo to make us laugh again. introduce the world to some great spoiled, bratty girl who’s entitled to everything in the world cause her dad can afford to wear designer ripped jeans and drives a benz. as stated earlier, the miz is a pussy and i bet you dollars to donuts that ava from “my super sweet 16” can take him in a fight. why not show “laguna beach”? dude, talan hooked up with lindsay lohan or at least was spotted with lohan for a few times. who has the miz been spotted with? trishelle? boring!

speaking of lindsay lohan, she sorta brings me to a point or a train of thought, at least. don’t you remember when it was interesting to write about lindsay lohan? you know talk about her big boobies or how great mean girls was, but nowadays, it’s just scary to talk about her because she’s basically becoming skeletor’s daugther or just quote rick james, "cocaine is one helluva of a drug." maybe it’s just me, but i dunno, i just feel like i’m grasping at straws when i try to write about stuff these days. you know, nothing moves me cept for a couple of records that came out this year and there’s somebody who is a better writer and did a better job of explaining why you need to have that record in your collection other than saying, ‘holy shit, how amazing is “yr city is a sucker” that beat. i listened to it like ten times in a row on my way home the other night.’

well, i guess what i'm getting at is, isn't me or just has this year just sucked a whole lot, so far? where have been the quality films? i've seen probably 80 films so far this year, mostly for school, but only one of those some odd films was a new release for this year. it's not a matter of movie ticket prices being too high because i am a person who went and saw lost in translation like 5 times in the theaters. ticket prices is not the problem; it's the actual film themselves. so far, most of the films that have come out this year deserve reviews on par with spinal tap's "shark sandwich," and frankly, the summer season with exception to george a romero's land of the dead (holla at me in mid june cause i'll be camping out for it), isn't promising either. while taking pot shots at the last two star wars film is like playing a game of tee ball, but you know, when chewbacca is in a burger king commerical trying to wear a hair net to promote the lastest film, something has to be wrong. it's not the biggest confident builder to see darth vader square off with the m & m guys, to me, it just scares desperation. kevin smith and steven spielberg could talk the shit out of this moive and say how brilliant it is, but the fact is this, kevin smith made jeresy girl and spielberg hasn't made an rewatchable film in twenty years, let alone, a film that knew when to end, so their opinions are bullshit. not to mention, george lucas, who is begining to look more and more like adm. ackbar with each passing year, doing the same exact thing that stan lee did in mallrats on "the oc" last week and stan the man did it way better.

speaking of "the oc," while the last three episodes have been good, the show is basically a reoccuring role for heather locklear and a explosion away from becoming this generation's "melrose place". people are getting shot, dying left and right, drug problems, drinking problems, i mean, when are they gonna, wait, i think i've pretty much hit all of the melrose spots, so far in this season. so why not bring back oliver and re-introduce the same exact way they re-introduced kimberely onto melrose place or at least have a spot where he pulls off a wig and reveals a big nasty scar. for as orignial as the show is in spots, they take alot of things from movies and they forget to remix the idea a bit. the whole spider man kiss fiscaso, the ross/rachel melodrama known as summer/seth and marisa/ryan melodrama. for those with the dvd set of season 1, i ask you to watch the first season again and realize that each episode flowed together so smoothly. story arcs reached their limits and end in a nice way. where as this season, it just seems, the writers are scrabbing every three episodes or so, to end whatever horrible storyline they're doing because it wasn't working. why did we have to spend three months with the lindsey character, only to write her off in such a poochie the rockin' dog style? yeah, caleb is my dad and he sorta wants to help me out, but you know, i'm gonna leave and return to my home planet. then, they kill caleb, okay, whatevs, but here's the thing, who'll be the one to fight sandy's wide eye sense of idealism and liberal views? where's the yin to the yang, dudes? caleb was the perfect foil, but now, he's dead so for season 3, there'll be a court case about julie cooper being tried for murder of caleb, so she could get her premup money. played out. it just seems that the writers just had one of those moments, where they collectively went, "oh snaps," and figured that they needed to kill people off because you know, that's what hour long dramas do.

another thing about this year, there's no great scandal. last year, there was janet jackson and the start of brit-brit & k-fed. i mean, what do we have these days? pat o'brien? while funny, it was also sorta sad and the supposed grand pay off, the dr phil was rather lack luster. when pat o'brien threw in his son angle, i just felt bad about driving around listening to those voice mails and laughing with people as we crowd around the ipod before class starts. sometimes, we fly a little too loose and free with those ironic statements completely unaware of those who we may harm. there's this whole paula/corey clark matter, which if you haven't already realized is a publicity stunt done by corey clark. the dude is making the whole thing up cause homeboy said that paula took the protein shake on howard stern. that's utter bullshit because i've met paula once and while, i was in the third grade at the time, and it was the early 90s and at a hockey game, she did not seem like a woman who would do that type of thing. yeah, paula is crazy, but she's not that crazy. and another thing, why aren't we making more fun of fred durst these days? if my slang game is accurate, durst still means worst, so why are we talking about how he got down with jessica simpson? we shouldn't even go there, if anything we should be implying that fred durst got down with bee arthur and estelle getty in ultra gross three way. people, we're only encouraging durst when we speak of him in such a fashion way. let's be more hypercritical, let's not buy his albums, but i think everybody is already hip to that. remember, durst is worst.

so in other terms, i'm awaiting for the great pumpkin in 2005 to make this year alot more interesting than it has been so far. alot of good albums came out, so far. some quality moments on tv, but overall, i dunno, maybe, my mind is to focused on school or something, but pop culture is struggling. if it keeps up like this, i'm going to have engage in more embarrasing activites and write abot them like the other day, i was walking around campus, ipod on, so i couldn't hear anybody talking. i was probably wandering around for 20 minutes or so before i realized that one of the buttons on my button fly was undone. i guess, it's on par with having your fly down, but it's weird cause it's buttons and there's like 4 other ones that are done, so it's not as bad, right? but it is as bad because i wandered by the hottest girl on campus like that and you know, that's not a good impression. although, it was slightly upbeat to see the hottest girl on campus holding court not only with the anoxeric indie boys, but with what appeared to be an indie dude (dudes who are sorta chubby, but dress hip enough within their weight categories and can talk endlessly about q & not u), but at the same time, the whole scene reminded me of catherine zeta jones in high fidelity or maybe, i'm in too much of a john cusack movie frame of mind, lately.

it's bizzare, ever since i started writing phoney captions for photos of la hipsters, i sorta dreaded going to any hip, cool event in la. i want to say that i have a degree of iminity in doing this thing, but you know, there's apart of me that believes if i go to show, it'd be like me going into crip terrority while wearing red. i have no idea if a) the cool kids have a sense of humor about themselves, let alone b) does anybody actually read this business or is it just like the mayor race in l.a., nobody cares? so there was a bit of me that wondered if i'd be wearing a bullseye on my back while at the lcd soundsystem show last night. but the thing is, l.a. cool kids sorta let me down.

(note: this is even more blurry than a normal cell phone cam photo due to the sweat generated that fogged up the lens)

this thing is long enough as is, so i'll bring things down in shotgun blasts, silver bullets (trademark uncle grambo), flip flops or whatever you want to call it style:
-probably the best show i've ever been or at least in a couple of years. lcd soundsystem was better than the last two times i had seen them. seriously, i can't fully explain why you need to see lcd soundsystem, other than saying, "yeah" live is a religious experince
-m.i.a. was amazing; there's just something about her and diplo, it's pure magic.
-um, if you didn't dance at all, you need to check yourself into the morgue because you have no soul or heart.
-dj steve aoki played the death from above 1979 cover of bloc party's "luano" and it was rather good. kinda metal and i like when sebstain grainger sings "i can say the right things," better than kele. anybody have an mp3? as a whole, steve aoki is an okay dj, but for the next time, more grime and less keisher chiefs, thanks.
-in general, the la hipsters girls, not as hot as i would've thought. it's either, they're dressed like they wanna be a suicide girl or like joanna newsom or stevie nicks core. the only girl that blew my mind was probably in her early 30s and there were these creepy old guys trying to dance with her and i felt bad for her. if you were there, did you see the two guys with breads and glasses? like one of them was all gray and some 80s style button up shirt on. it was just an awkward scene as the man started to grind up against this woman.
-robin brown's girlfriend got 'cobrasnake'ed and she was geninuely creeped out and left uncomfortable by the experince.
-the merch people needed to have more t-shirts and diplo mix cds. it's hard to enjoy the show while holding onto a t-shirt and a cd. your movements are restricted because you don't want your shirt to hit the sticky, dirty ground and your cd to break.
-apologies to anybody whose feet i stepped on and 'bows i threw in their direction during m.i.a.

so to sum it up, m.i.a.=amazing, just see her if you can. lcd soundsystem=brilliant, see them if you can. l.a. hipsters don't know how to dance or at least they don't want to dance cause there's a fear of getting sweaty and messing up their clothes, which is lame. as annie said, courtney love is a porker. from pain killers to apple bee's appetetizers, i guess. she looked like mama cash or carnie wilson, whatever overweight singer works best for you.


At 10:14 AM , Anonymous robot mark said...

I was at the show too. I thought it was great. MIA was better the first time I saw her --- she needs to step her game up for the larger crowd. Up in the balcony it was kind of a snooze.

LCD was fucking dope though. Everything I wanted and more.

Courtney Love was rolling around the ground. Beck and his Wife were there too, but they didn't stick around very long.

LA Hipster girls are too busy making booty calls on Sunday nights to waste time at a concert.

At 11:36 AM , Blogger Ignatius Loyola said...

What about "Funny Ha Ha"? Not a bad little indie film.

At 12:39 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...



At 1:09 PM , Blogger Uncle Grambo said...

Not to sound too Jim Rome, but that post was EPIC!

At 1:35 PM , Blogger Kempernorton said...

You need to imitate everything. Trust me.


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