&t skeet on mischa: 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Aug 31, 2005

body pillow

right now, i'm training my body clock to adjust to my hellacious class schedule. for the most part, i go to bed at 1 in the morning and wake up around like 8:30, but now i have to get up on thursday mornings at like 5:30 to beat traffic and get to school in plenty of time. although, i have tuesdays off, which should be helpful.

you know your event is kind of in the shitty when it comes to celeb cameos when bai ling has the most photos. does anybody know how a person like me can have a career like bai ling's? i'd love to go to premieres and speical events all the time and you know, being famous for being famous and dress like a mafia don's girl on the side.

why do i want to believe that kelly clarkson and her party crew were told on multiple occasions that they are making a 'scene' in the hotel lobby and if they act up one more time, they'll be asked to leave.

i mean, thats what she's probably be told right there. i mean, how sketchy do these people look? one of them, the guy who hangs around cause he's as funny as jimmy fallon is, thought it'd be hi-larious if they went to snoop's party all wet, so they all hope in the pool with their clothes on, like garden state.

and to the dude who said to change the babe of the week, you don't understand the magic & beauty of courtney semel. while she's not a classical beauty, but she tries, really hard to grab your attention and frankly, my heart goes out to any girl who can talk about fred segal as if it's the greatest creation man has ever made. i mean, thats the way i sound when i talk about the film, opera with anybody.

you know you can own this world, child

i'm just wondering if there's a proper way to rock out to suff off of the def jux label? cause i'm standing in my living room, holding a remote control while i lip sync to mr lif verses and i believe that's not the right way to do things.

ghost unit: best mixtape artwork of the year, hands down; over at black wallstreet, if you buy the game's album again, and mail the receipt and cover, he'll autograph it and send ya a copy of ghost unit or you could just wait until the thing hits the torrent circuit.

dear willowz,

if i was rich, desperate for attention & approval by people i don't know and had an mtv camera crew following me as i planned my super sweet 16 birthday party, i'd have you play. it'd be killer. you could play "keep on looking" as i'm escorted into the party by trixie teen[nsfw]. seriously, it'd be amazing. you'd sell so many records after being on mtv and all.

it'll never happen, but if you guys need to somebody to buy your beer and i happen to be in the greater anaheim area at the time, hit me on the low.


douglas reinhardt

ps. is michel gondry as cool as he seems?

dear trixie teen,

well, it'd be a bit redunant if i wrote another open letter, but i wanted to use it as a jumping off point. okay, last week, i mentioned something about a girl from my school being naked on the internet, but this isn't the first time that i know of, that somebody from my school has been naked for the whole internerd community to gawk it. maybe this one only applies to southern californias, but i want to say in the late 90s/early '00s, there was a girl who ran track at school, that worked as a stripper on the side and she was in playboy after she got kicked out of school. so with that said, i must admint that there's this weird sexual undertone at my school nowadays. at times, i feel like if i spent enough time snooping around, i could probably turn something up and be like, 'booya!' then again, who else am i going to tell about my grand discovery other than a text message to my friend mark? this is another reason why i need to have a camera crew following me around.

yet my consistent pleas for a reality show hopefully are not coming off like those weiner kids on that upcoming mtv show about reality tv. you know that my life is beyond boring and i'm repeating myself again, but i don't think i'm funny and i don't think i have a unique & interesting prespective on life. i just want people to come to school with me a couple of days, see all the things i see and be inside the car as i have my panic attacks. its one thing for me to tell you about the bros in the giganmrous trucks with tires that are taller than eva longoria, but it's another thing to see them in their uniform (giantic dickies shorts, which are more like shants), boat size black skate shoes with tiny black socks, and if they're super cool, a basketball jersey that says something about pimping on it or west coast customs.

fuck, what we need is like video blogging. so if any industrious young come getter in the computer industry with loads of money lying, tom from myspace, i looking in your direction, wants to help develop the future of blogging, then holla at me. although, it should be noted that the whole concept of video blogging sounds unique and interesting, but actually what it will amount to, is a bunch of shaky camera by yours truly and zoom ins on indie girls as they walk to class.

Aug 30, 2005

holdin' a jar

has anybody else been a victim of this go to the gap and try on a pair of awful jeans and get a free itunes download business? you see, since i'm not too terriblely bright, i thought from the comercials, that for every pair of jeans you try, you get an itunes download. call me a jeans snob, but i only rock levis these days and if i was a rich man, a pair of citizens of humanity, so i'd never be caught dead wearing a pair of jeans from the gap. but if trying on a pair or two, lets me download a couple of kelly clarkson jams free of charge, then baby, you caught me red headed. so when i was in there, i took five pairs of jeans, went into the dress room and really did every pair i brought with me. you know, i didn't want to seem like some weirdo just hanging out in a dressing room for a minute or two. so i finish up with the jeans and hand them over to the lady, whose job is perhaps the creepiest job ever cause she hangs out in the dressing room. what a perv, but anyways, i hand over the jeans and say, i tried on 5 pairs, then the woman hands me one measy download card, "sorry, it's only one per customer." if its going to be one download per customer than say on your stupid inside store adverts, 'one per customer.' don't fill people with false hope that they may have found a way to beat the system and score most of the new death cab record free of charge. you know why not instead of joss stone butchering a classic, she sings, "one download card per customer." i call bullshit on the gap and i'd call bullshit on apple, but i figure they'd destroy my computer from the inside out.

wouldn't it be weird if like joana newsom and antony of antony & the johnsons had a kid and it sang like bo bice or something? in a perfect world, that would happen.

i dunno who actually has been watching the show, "kill reality," but apparently shit is getting interesting[via defamer]. yet, i have a problem with this show and perhaps, the 14:59 party crew. can anybody explain as to why all these women are having sex with johnny fairplay? if it wasn't for his awful collection shirts from miller's outpost with wacky zingers, i'd think johnny fairplay is a homeless man. he's malnurioused, consistently drunk and look as if he hasn't washed his hair since he was on "survivor". is johnny fairplay so dependent upon alcohol in order to get laid? i just can't wrap my head around this concept and there's apart of me that doesn't want to actually understand why. you know, honestly, i just want johnny fairplay out of my life all together. i wish i could not be upset about this whole matter, i just wish i could flip by the show and continue on past it, but, no, i have to wonder why women are willing to sleep with johnny fairplay. no i have to worry if people like trishelle are actually aware of what they're doing when they're with johnny fairplay; i have to worry if they've had too much drink and that they shouldn't be walking off with a individual like johnny fairplay. am i missing something? does he have a nice personality? or is his personality even nicer after about 5 or 6 shots of tequilla? does johnny fairplay have a monster in his pants?

and you see, this is why i think i'm becoming stupid because i can not get over my issues with a reality tv has been.

don't you hate it when the only people you can talk to about other people in your class is women? now, in certain situations, there are cool girls that you could probably say, "hey, you know that one girl in the front, is it me or does she wear sweat pants every day?" but other girls, i don't think you could have that degree of openness with them. and this is the current situation i'm stuck in. seriously, i'm thinking of having a camera crew follow me around for a week or two, then making another public access show out of it. not to show how boring my life is, you know that already, but to show exactly how weird everything else is around me.

i have a problem with the kids who bring their laptops to class. you see, i hear them banging away on their keyboard while i'm just listening to the lecture, which makes me feel bad because i'm not taking notes for this lecture. you know, should i be taking notes or did i already miss alot? then you get a look at these kids' laptops and they're just goofing on myspace and buying tickets for gwen stefani concerts.

ps. anybody going to that gwen stefani at the pon with m.i.a. openning? i'd go to see m.i.a. cause it's m.i.a. on my home court but at the same time, do you know how many 12 years old are going to be there? although, it may be the spot to pick upon ladies, if you're a dude who can act. i'd assume you'd have to win over the gwen-a-bes with your extensive knowledge of everything gwen. me, i'd just quit after a minute or two and just say, "yeah, i just came to see m.i.a.. i wanted to know if she has any new songs and i totally slept on her show in la last month."

and finally, a frequent collobatoer of mine, mark haslam has started a blog about how much it sucks in nothern california even though they have two amoeba musics. so check out hella awful

Aug 29, 2005

compared to what

i sent a friend of mine a text message the other day that said, 'if you see a girl wearing a bad brains shirt, you should marry her because she has better taste in music than you do" now, it wasn't a knock on my friend's taste in music, because, frankly, i think we all have horrible taste in music. if we really truly had amazing taste in music, we'd all be listening to classical music. while today's music or at least what we listen to has its fair share of geniuses (hello, paul wall), but the o.g.'s of classical music were on some next level shit. those dudes did not have pro tools or anything of that nature. it was just them, a quill, and a sheet of paper and from that, they created a type of music that makes everybody smarter. we listen to what we listen to because certain songs have certain meaning and feelings. it's rather difficult to make a personal connection to woodwinds and strings; "oh, you know that part when the violins just start to pick up, that totally reminds me of when tami came into my life; just at the right moment."

dudes, i don't get it anymore. sure, one cameo on the cobrasnake is okay for a celeb, but for two cameos? come on, samaire armstrong, there has to be a better way to generate buzz for yourself than this. or should i take this as a sign? a sign that if i get off my high horse and finally finish this script i've been developing off and on since last friday afternoon called pretentious, which can only be described as the last three gus van sant films meets the brown bunny; that maybe, just maybe, samaire armstrong will be in it. or maybe, it's just that samaire armstrong has an old high school friend in tow and frankly, it's more fun to dance around in public to "destroy everything you touch" by ladytron instead in front of a computer. seriously, if anybody sees samaire armstrong in the clubs, tell her that's she pretty outta control, then run away cause thats what i would do.

now, i know why cam wasn't on the jim jones album; he's too busy making a musical, streets is watching style. dip set related, is it just me or does the chorus on "confront ya babe" sound like some 80s song? its on the tip of my tongue, but i'm just having a gignarmous brain cramp about it.

here's the thing about the mtv awards, if weiner kids like this get to go, then i want no part of it. honestly, would you want to party with people like this and like that. well, i'd probably want to hang out with chingo bling, but come on, bam magera? the booking of celebrities on this show is either on par or just below par with the booking on the jimmy kimmel show. oh wow the cast of laguna beach (check out how close kristin & alex are together, hmmm.....); i can't just drive 20 minutes south or at least take a day trip over to south coast plaza and run into those kids. boring. hey, check it out, it's timbaland & nelly furtado, remember her? yeah, and they look like they've been partying with pedro guerro and doc gooden during hurrican katrina mania. i honestly believe that trent of pink is the new blog is more famous than most of the people at this year's vmas. the event is promoted as being the ulimate party of the year, an ultra exclusive diddy party, but if hulk hogan and his fanny pack can get into this ultra cool party, then i'd rather take my chances, deal with parallel parking and go to some hipster club in la because odss are i'll probably run into samaire armstrong there.

this was one thing i liked about the vmas this year. r kelly's performance. holy shit. the part where he basically went, chuck-rob for like a minute was insane. honestly, thats the right way to lip sync, people. kells can pee on whoever he wants, if he keeps on cranking out those "trapped in the closet" chapters.

and i also like eva longoria's camel toe. does anybody have any vidcaps of that yet? another good moment was when fat joe made everything awkward after he called g-unit before he gave away that award, then later, tony yao & 50 tried to calling out fat joe, but every other word was bleeped. also, i liked seeing juelz santana sitting in the back, looking bored because if i was there, i'd be bored out of my mind, too.

the thing about diddy as the vma's host, especially during his openning dance number, was how much he reminded me of g.o.b. from "arrested development". i honestly thought i was going to hear "the final countdown" or at least a vocal sample from that song as diddy danced across the stage. he just tried so hard, but i mean as a host, you're supposed to keep things moving forward and make fun of stuff. you know, not bringing the show to a grinding hault because you have to dance on stage with omarion or you want do a horrible bit about a queer eye make over for the arch bishop don magic juan (wow way to be current, diddy. what's next, you're gonna make a zinger about those wacky osbournes). and the reason why a comedian should host a show like this because it doesn't feed the egos of the performers. does kanye west need to have his car waxed anymore? no, he doesn't. okay, the dude is on the cover of time magazine, so we don't need people yelling every five minutes about how much they love kanye. people, we're creating a james bond supervillian here, not a rapper with a long term career. although, diddy's kitty farmer shirt was kinda hot.

i've seen my fair share of horrible camera work and i've done my fair share of god awful camera work, but for a program of this caliber and nature, this has to be the worst thing i've ever seen. way worse than that time at some other high school's choir concert when robin brown walked on stage holding a camera, basically stood in the middle of the stage and fell on the stage because i, the cable puller did not pull enough cable for him to move. okay, the camera work was on par with a seventh grade video production class. every shot was abstructed by some stupid kid's arm waving or the cameraman had no clue where anybody was going to be. didn't they have rehearsal for this shit? the lighting was off, maybe it was the ego of 50, but during their performance, mobb deep was pretty much running around in shadows, which some may use a metaphor jumping off point. not to mention

it just seemed whenever anything interesting would happen, i.e. when uncle luke came out with his lil' hoe train mtv would go to reaction shots. why would i be cocerned with the reaction to booty dancing from destiny's child? i don't care about them. how am i going to know if its shocking if i can't even see it for myself? why do i want to see the reactions of people who for the most part are embarassed to be there? do you really think that jay-z wants to sit next to young jeezy? no. did you see gwen stefani? after the first award, she was already to cruise out of there.

the vmas should go the way of the movie awards, taped them on a saturday. edit them over the week and show it on a thursday night. there's no reason why it should be live in this post janet jackson world because anything remotely interesting be seen by the reactions of the face of nelly and the st. lunatics.

also, what the fork happened to hiliary duff? she used to look normal, but now, she has like baba boey teeth or something. well, i was more of a miranda fan anyways.

Aug 25, 2005

snip snap

okay, so playboy's co-ed of the week goes to my school. first and formost, i've never seen her on campus and we share a common major or at least our majors are share a building together.

and secondly, less anybody believe that this hottest girl on campus, they'd be totally and utterly farcicle in their logic. there's like eight hundred other girl who are better; you'll definately say 'holy moly'. and this girl aside, remember the rule about state colleges and private colleges? real boobies at state schools, fake ones at private colleges.

happy birfday to rachel bilson. that mixtape we made with a bunch of don omar on it is in the mail, it's stricly redicly.

Aug 23, 2005

you'll say holy moly

um, yeah. [via rachel-bilson (dot)com]

set us free

i'm sorry, but i have to officially say that if i actually put a bit of effort, just a little bit of effort into it and you know, learn how to parallel park (my driving instructor said that they don't test on it, so we didn't have to learn it) and maybe for once, shed this howard hughes persona i'm trying so hard to have, i could probably get with samaire armstrong yes, she was on "the oc" and "entourage" and she's in the next lindsay lohan film and probably, a million other dudes who are devendrabees (i dunno what else to call those dudes who dress like devendra banhart) are putting out the vibe and the moves, but the fact is this, samaire armstrong is partying at hanging jury on free booze night. free booze night, all right? so that says something about her. no, not that she's a cheap skate. we all love free booze. i remember this one time i went to a baseball game with this large group of people because somebody's dad worked for the miller brewing company and it was miller brewing company night or something, so they had a private little picnic area set up and basically, free beer and food. sure we ate, but mostly we drank all the free beer we could, because it was free beer. you see everybody loves free booze, so even if samaire armstrong dresses like that girl at urban outfitters you're affraid to talk about a particular brand of jeans for fear of feeling uncool and unhip, but you have to realize, samaire armstrong is like you and me, she likes to get fucked up and if at all possible for free. so if you see samaire armstrong somewhere in la and it's a bar and it's not free drinks night at hanging jury, buy her a drink or maybe a plate of nachos, she'll probably be grateful.

snakes on planes! snakes on planes who attack fat albert

anybody know what's up with rachel-bilson (dot)com? the site has been down for a few days and well, the people are getting anxious for a new photo.

let's face facts, people. i sweat. alot. either chalk it up to my anxiety issues, the heat or both, but alof the summer time i feel like i'm in sauna. so my shirt shelves are consistently wet and i'm always drinking water. i probably have a medical condition, but you know sweating is natural, right? but here's my thing, world, i'm asking you something. can you please be a bit nicer to us sweaty guys? we try extra hard with our deodorent, but the fact is that, we don't want our shirts to be covered with deodorent stains and frankly, the biggest bullshit ever is this '24 hour protection' business. so please be a bit more considerate of us at school, you know we gotta park in the boonies for the first coupla weeks and it's a long walk from lot g to campus and well. we got all over our water bottles (which would only be two bottles instead of four if smart & final would carry the liter bottles of fiji water again) and books and ipods in our backpack, so please don't make snide remarks if some dude has a big sweat stain on his back after he takes off his backpack. you know, we don't laugh at you guys when your piss your pants, so don't laugh at us. sweaty guys are people, too.

wait, i think i just killed my chances with samiare armstrong.

i think right now, all i can say about anything is that i'm having buyer's remorse. a week or two ago, i couldn't wait to get back to school. flashforward to yesterday, i'm driving around for 40 minutes to find a parking spot and i actually went to school early since i knew parking was going to be that outta hand, but its like, learning isn't fun when you have to show up 2 hours before your class starts, just to grab a spot. i mean, it's the downfall of college really, parking, but to complain about it, is like spitting in the rain. if anything, it just reminds me of when i used to take the bus to school. you'd get there at an hour before class but only because there was no bus in your time wheel house, if you will. and frankly, public transporation isn't always the fastest way to go.

so, i just hope that my new favorite people in the whole wide world start doing their jobs. so, college dropouts, start dropping out and making more in the parking lots for us weiner kids that want to learn.

although, with all of the free time i had, i gave a good listen to the new kanye album. no review, just a quick coupla snaps:
-the production, for the most part, is excellent. jon brion & kanye make an good team, but ?uestlove of the roots had the idea first.
-the song, "crack music," great beat, but a complete waste of the game. i mean, the game has more to say than, "it's crack music"
-"we major" is major and probably the best track on the album; its interesting to see a nas track after a jay track
-correct me if i'm wrong, but i thought i heard a ma$e diss in cam'ron's verse on "gone" or am i just imagining ma$e disses in my head.

but that dangerdoom album is as nice as a cool breeze on a hot august afternoon.

and why is diddy shouting all over on "what you drinkin' on?" paul wall doesn't have to shout and he gets his point across just fine.

back to school quickly, i'll say this because i still have a couple more days left of the first week. in my sitcom class, only me and one other guy seemed to be disapointed when the professor told us we couldn't write spec scripts for "arrested development." then like four other guys seemed disapointed about not being able to write "curb your enthunasim" spec scripts as well. it's like those are the two comedy shows i watch on a regular basis. i mean, i'd love to write an "zoey 101" spec script, but i'd probably have to make my professor watch that show and i'd get hated upon because it's "zoey 101" and they're not 11 years old.

heard black mountain playing at irvine meadows from my house the other night. sounded pretty killer. anybody seen them live before? i just assumed they'd play like 5 songs over the span of an hour or so.

the toolbox murders is playing at the new grindhouse beverly tonight.

two more snaps and then, i'm done:
-i finally figured out why i'm not enjoying the new season of "laguna beach" as much. sure, the lack of lo is definately no help. but it's like this, everybody seems to have that one set of friends who is a couple or at least has a friend involved with someone and it's like every time or at least every other time you hang out with that couple, they get into a fight about something and now, you sit around, pretending to comfortable while these two argue some rather dumb shit. and that's what this whole season of "laguna beach" has been, we have to week after week awkwardly sit there as jason and jessica fight and fight again over stupid bullshit. you know, i thought "laguna beach" was a show about goofy hot girls hooking up with 28 year old guys who are still in high school; not the same boring fights each week. you know, why can't we have a great shot of kristin & alex sticking their head out of the limo's moon roof? yet, we get a terrance malick like shot of jason and jessica fighting in a limo. first off, who the fuck crashes in a limo after it's done for the night? sure, the driver is paid for the whole night, but isn't there a certain point where he wants to go home and sleep? "sorry hun, can't leave yet. there's some drunk kid asleep in the back and they sliped me an extra 20 to let him crash there a while longer. i mean if "laguna beach" is going to continue this charade as a reality show, they set up more interesting or at least more believable phoney situations. let's have a scene where alex tries to make out with kristin or at least brings some awkward up in the conversation.
-okay, who saw "my super sweet 16" last night with the triplets? remember the dream boat guy, michael born and how excited the triplets were to invite him to their party? then at their party, they all sorta lose interest in michael born because he couldn't remember their names or at least tell them apart, which is utter bullshit. those girls lost interest in him because he came to the party dressed like a njguido; i mean, whose going to be into a guy who wears a shirt that even simon cowell says is too tiny and tight even for him? these triplets realize that even a dude is a dreamboat, he may still dress like a guido's nightmare and frankly, that's not attractive to anybody.

Aug 20, 2005

apparently, casey reinhardt of the second season of mtv's "laguna beach: the real orange county" fame is really kristin cavalleri or casey reinhardt is telling people that she's kristin because she's sick of hearing questions like, "are you related to that guy who does that horrible blog, something on mischa?" and "are you related to that guy on the angels?"

seriously, somebody needs to get the crew of a&e's intervention over to my house because all i'm doing this weekend is listening "we major" from the new kanye album over and over and over again.

Aug 19, 2005

sorry you couldn't stop to stay

i haven't really been interested in an issue of maxim in over three years, but this one, i dunno; i just might have to. in case, you didn't know, your humble narrator crushes upon kelly monaco.

umm, you didn't hear this from me, but if you're so inclined, the new kanye album has leaked and you may want to see a mininova about it (wink).

i'm just wondering if people plan out their cobra snake photo moment or at least do a practice session in front of the bathroom mirror before they head out for the night. you know, "i'm going to the hanging jury tonight , so mark will probably be there.." then they go onto make a zoolander (an extremely overrated film) reference. for me, it'd be a big deal to get on there and you know i would want my moment in cewebrity to be picture perfect and not with some crazy, drunk botox'ed out lady behind us, ruining the whole thing

or at least not looking i just shot up in the bathroom either

Aug 18, 2005

i always all prepared to do a sequel to that live blogging i did while waiting for an electrician, but dude came early.

so i have no excuse to write or at least no way to thinly hide my disdain; well, lets be honest, it's all out, hatered for howie mandel. seriously, if you want to stop laughing for the rest of your life, watch anything done by howie mandel. i think he's still around because he makes all other comedians better. like if i had to the choice between watching howie mandel doing stand up or like waiting at the dmv, i'd take the dmv. and those hidden camera bits are anything but funny, it's just annoyning. i mean, how can people not know they're on camera when a goofy guy with a gray goatee in giganmorous glasses and backpack stands three inches from their face.

it's weird because howie mandel is in the aristocrats quite a bit, but dude brings the film to a screeching hault because he's so unfunny and gratting. fred willard, who is one of my heroes is barely in the film but he kills it and you're like, why only one moment with fred willard? why did i have to suffer through 5 minutes of the guy from 'bobby's world" saying the c word over and over again?


g's up.

howie mandels down.

if he can't swim, then the weiner kid is gonna drown

and the world will be better.

ps. thanks to the person who sent the link to that kanye/nas track; it was rather nice and refreshing.

white flags

i know that the contest from earlier this week was rather out of hand (thanks to that nameless person who got them all right [btw, i'm no fan of feet, but eva mendes, who was mystery #06 has some bad feet]), but can you guess how many of these girls are either a)rockin' the natural breasts or b)their natural hair color or c)how many of them were dudes at one time in their life? if you're right, you win my admiration and respect.

we got mike jones always asking 'who is mike jones,' and giving anybody and everybody his phone number, but why can't odette yustman be screaming, 'who is odette yustman?' and telling people if you want to reach her on the low, call 281-330-8004. it's not like i'm gonna call her up and ask if she's into sandwiches from lee's or if she's changed her mind on the new kanye album after learning that omar swanson is on the album.

it should be noted that the folks over at def jam are handling this kanye record really well because i have yet to see any copies of track floating around on line outside of the so-so "gold digger" and the pretty good, "diamonds," but why can't we have any 30 second samples on itunes? listening to albums on "the leak" is about as good as listening to a tape of songs recorded off of the radio. you know, how am i going to know if i want to pre order the album if i can't hear some of it; sure, i'll probably pick it up, but you know, i'm like 95% there with the album, but that 5% could go either way; so maybe a 30 second sample will point me in the right direction.

i don't want to say that i called it (you gotta scroll to the bottom), but i'm feeling a bit prophetic about eva longoria's injury and actually, a quite a bit of weight has been lifted off my shoulders. now, i know that she will not break into a million pieces if something were to fall onto her. for a minute, when i heard the story, it was breaking news on our local abc affilate, i thought to myself, "maybe somebody who works in the industry reads this stupid thing." maybe some amazing career crew guy wanted to get fired and was like, what would happen if i bonk her in the head with this boom pole. then i came to my senses when i read it was a part of the set that fell on her, then i felt bad for whichever guy gets blamed for this because dude is out of a job.

although, the oliver stone conspiracy theorist could say that eva longoria planned for this injury, so people wouldn't be talking about her pool party anymore.

is it just me or does z berg from the like, when she sings, sorta remind you of jenny lewis & the lead singer from sigur ros? you know, i assume that z is singing or attempting to sing jenny lewis style songs, but her voice is sorta weird and beautiful and i think she's singing in some other language like the guy from sigur ros.

and oh yeah, pitchfork has lcd soundsystem tour dates; so please on the look out for me this october at either the show at the anaheim house of blues (have to go, it's my home turf) or the show at the san diego house of blues or the show at the avalaon, or probably, all of three of them. i'll pay to go, but please, please, please, please, please, please, james murphy can i get on the list for the house of blues anaheim show? it's my home court and well, as a blogger, i never really ask for much. a rachel bilson nip slip, people to listen to lcd soundsystem and well, for arrested development to be on there. i don't want free stuff, i don't have ads on my site, but maybe, just this once could you hook a dude up or at least more large sized t-shirts this time around cause at the el rey show, they sold out of larges and i had to get a medium and it fits okay but i can't wear as much cause i'm afraid of it shrinking.

but seriously, though.

Aug 17, 2005

the bigger picture

the only real profound statement i believe i'm capable making these days, is one that has probably been already made. so i'm watching vh-1 the other day and i actually for the first time, hear that pussycat dolls single, "don't cha" and it came to me, that the pussycat dolls are nothing more than a broke ass version of vanity 6.

vanity 6, of course being a 3 girl group created by prince in the early 80s best known for the ever so classic, "nasty girls." in the summer of '03, i was obessessed with vanity 6 and told anybody within ear shot that they were the greatest thing since sliced bread, but their stuff was/it redicly difficult to find.

but anyways, i'm listening to the pussycat dolls song and it has the same vibe; the track is pretty popy & oddly new wave-ish and the overall look you know is somewhat similar to that of vanity 6, but you know, not as sexual. i just find it weird that what once started out as a tribute, or if you will, homage to the lost art of burlesque and the worst kind of nudity, implied nudity, the pussycat dolls have now become basically a cover band to an obscure band from the 80s that only weirdo ladies with homemade prince purses (they basically cover the sides of the purses with recent prince photos) and music dorks would know about. i mean, can't we be a little more creative than that or at least get a proper re-release of the vanity 6 album.

i know prince is a control freak, but come on, let rhino records put it out there or something. it's the least prince could do for me because one day, i wore a prince shirt and i got sucked into a conversation with some guy who lived in minnesota about how he used to drink gallons of water each day and it got the point that you could see the water underneath his skin and you know, i just wanted to go to coffee bean and get my banana crackamel and it was so weird. and i've been so scared of repeat conversations that i have to call people while they're at the job and take away time from their job because i'm a wee bit scared of getting into another conversation with some dude on his work break about water weight.

so, prince, you owe to me.

this is the banana crackamel drink, in case you were wondering.

there should be a channel just devoted to showing eva longoria sun bathing

Aug 16, 2005

i'd say something, but frankly, i'm too caught up in searching for, pause while i shudder to say this, but the new dialated peoples single produced by the alchemist. it's strictly redickly. i believe it's called "back again." anybody got anything?

anybody at capital want to send out an mp3 to some rap nerds and create a better buzz than a so-so single with kanyezilla on it like last time?

Aug 15, 2005

guess the celeb!

so i noticed that on the place where we steal photos had a lot of photos of celeb's feet or handbags; no close ups or full length shots, but just close ups of pursue & shoes game.

since, i'm bored and it's the end of the summer, i decided to construct guess the celeb; sorry to my dial up dudes, but come on, let's bottle rocket up your shirt a smidge...

also, sorry there's no clues. i'm only kinda clever and well, i want to watch "date my mom" at 4, but i mean, its people i like or i've written about before hand...

mystery celeb # 01

mystery celeb #02

mystery celeb #03

mystery celeb #04

mystery celeb #05

mystery celeb #06

mystery celeb #07

mystery celeb #08

mystery celeb #09

good gosh almighty

does anybody else remember what exactly shannon elizabeth did other than a couple of topless scenes in the late 90s to become famous? or does stuff magazine allow anybody with the tinyest bit of celebrity into their parties because they're celebrities. i know i've said it before, but i honestly want to say, i'm on the same celebrity level as shannon elizabeth. i bet you dollars to donuts when she's not going from audition to audition, she's crusing around bit torrent sites looking for the new ladytron album, well, she's old, so maybe she's looking for that new jason mraz album. but you know, why aren't i getting this party invites? yes, we all know that i'd decline or just not rvsp all together (because i'm rude like that), but still, i'll get your event as much coverage as a sound bite from some girl who showed her bobbies in a movie from like 6 years ago.

hey kids, paris hilton got a haircut; wonder what kind of in depth story pat o'brien will do about it tonight on "the insider" or do you think e! will have a special feature on the news tonight about the new do? perhaps, i'll bring the photo when i get my hair tomorrow and me and the stylist will have an in depth dicussion about the matter; p.t.i. steez and the receptionst will be tony reali

i don't know if you've been watching e!'s "filthy rich cattle drive" show, but to me, these rich kids aren't really roughin' it. sure, they're sleeping in tents and there's no running water and there's horses and uncultured cowboys, but also there's a camera crew, food, and cowboys who'll make sure they don't fuck up too much. roughing it for me or at least, the situation that i'd love to see these kids is like, put these kids in a remotely comfortable environment, then pull the rug out like a amateur magician doing the table cloth trick. basically, we put all of these kids on a private plane and tell them, they're going to meet up in taraside and get drunk with tara reid, then like in battle royale, pipe in some sleeping gas in the plane. rich kids are out cold, then wake up in a run down motel somewhere in wyoming. now, the kids do in fact have access a credit card; a discover card with a limit of $500 and $300 of it has already been spent and they're allowed to leave the motel to buy food and what not, but ironically, the general store does not take the discover card. the shit hole of a motel has television, but it only shows the films: rawhead rex, brenda starr, and that scene from deadly friend where anne ramsey's head gets smashed by a basketball on a constant loop as well as a channel devoted to dennis miller's rants. sure, at first, they'll pretend to get it and laugh at it, but they'll fall apart after a day or two, blambing about they have no idea of what he's talking about at all.

now, i know that this sounds more like a sociology experiment than a reality tv show, but come on, you know that this is way better than a bunch of kids riding horses wearing cowboy hats that probably cost more than the outfit you're wearing right now.

so back to the show, its wyoming and they're forced to watch 80s movies, but we've also managed to put some saltpeter in the foods of the men, meanwhile, we've pumped up the women's food with aphrodisiacs; so the guys feel like they're losing their mind because they can't get it up. basically, there's no point to this show other than let's perform really, really, really, really twisted experiments on the young, good looking, and extremely wealthy. or we just place these kids in dogville and tell jimmy caan that his daugther is hanging out there.

by the way, anthony quinn's son wears onesies p.j.s with generic tough guy tan leather jackets.

speaking of jimmy caan & rich kids, "laguna beach" is on tonight. now tonight's episode is about the dueling love triangles between the extremely boring friend of kristin, jessica, laguna's k-fed/scott caan lookalike, jason and alex m. the thing about alex m is this, i have no clue as to how her parents are handling or at least dealing with the show. on the first episode, we have jason at the batting cages basically calling out their daugther as merely a good potential fuck buddy, then the very next scene, we see this hook up girl dropping 600 bones on some drior sandals. i don't know what's worse, that my daugther is precieved to be slutty or the fact that she spent 600 dollars on a pair of sandals she'll only wear 4 or 5 times. i don't know what to be more upset about. yes, i'm upset that my daugther's reputation is being ruined and raked through the mudd in 30 million homes, but you know, how much shit i gotta do at the office to pay for those ugly sandals?

the other love triangle, which the voice over lady makes you believe has been going on over for ever and ever, when in reality, it's just been one episode that a thing between kristin, talan and taylor has been brewing. what's more interesting than that love triangle, is the love line, if you will between kristin and her friend, alex. i was slow to notice it (thanks to whoever you are), but, dude, it's morgan & christina all over again. ever notice that alex is always riding shotgun in kristin's car? and how put upon she was to get some dude's phone number? and that birthday present she gave kristin? those earrings must've got a pretty penny. have you ever spent that much on a friend's birthday before without going in together for as a group? the wildest i've ever gotten on giving a good friend a birthday present is a couple of dvds and that's about it. most times, i'm the dick at the party who didn't bring anything because i didn't know i was supposed to bring anything.

getting off track, but don't you hate that? getting invited to somebody's birthday party and you know, being we're the age that we are, that we don't have to bring a gift or at least you assume that you don't have to bring a gift, so you don't bring one, then you show up to the party and it's rather small and you're the only one who didn't bring anything and you feel like a complete dick. i hate when that happens. it's like, tell me ahead of time if i need to get something before hand, i'll try to make some wiggle room in hell week to skate over to dvdplanet.

anyways, so yeah, the lesbo love line is infinetely more interesting than talan & taylor. taylor seems like a cool and nice person; probably really awesome to hang around with and she probably makes really good jokes and would get some of your references, but she's not that hot or at least that hot for talan. a guy named talan should be working in the valley and hanging out with the likes of teagan presley and cytheria. like mtv should play up the love triangle of kristin, talan, and alex with high gloss andrew blake visuals and royksopp's "only this moment" as the soundtrack.

also, do not forget, i repeat, do not forget that tonight is also the triumphant return of my super sweet 16. and the first girl looks to be so mean, but i think it's cause she saw herself in the mirror and saw how much of an idoit she looks like with two polo shirts on at the same time, with both of the collars up.

and finally, this is my shout out to the samaire armstrong look that only lasted like two months and when she was on "freaks & geeks." bring it back!

Aug 13, 2005

there is an end

if you want to find me this week, i'll probably be at a movie theater watching broken flowers again and again. now i have said that michael bay's the island was my favorite film of the year a few weeks back, well, now, i have to take that back because broken flowers is easily the best and my favorite film i've seen so far this year. and i'll probably buy the soundtrack and drive around, pretending that i'm don johnston now as well.

this is one of the girls who helped define what it means to be 'outta control' being outta control and nsfw

and this is a good mixtape; loads of bun b and pitbull.

Aug 12, 2005

these words

this is the last rachel bilson photo for at least a week.

this is new photos of keyra augustina aka that girl with the backdoor which bangs like a bengie(nsfw) [via double viking & fleshbot]

this could be one of the funniest casts in motion picture history: will farrell & sacha baron cohen together in the same movie, crazy

this is supposed to be read while listening to either natasha bedingfield's "these words," or young jeezy's "thug motivation 101"; you know whichever one helps you get your rocks off.

this is a nsfw photo of diora baird that reminds me of catherine deneuve in bunuel's belle de jour [via jaggle]

this is why bill murray gets to make quality movies more often

this is taylor nergon and along with gilbert gottfried and sarah silverman had me laughing the most during the aristocrats; highly recommended.

this is an ad for coffee bean; the caramel ice blended coffee drinks at both starbucks & dierichs coffee are horrible and appear to have no caramel in them whatsoever; while the coffee bean ice blended caramel mocha is packed to the top with gooey goodness.

this is not a love song, but i think i could find one for her

this is my favorite video to watch while listening to air.

this is the blog you need to read at least 10 times a day because it's that good.

this is the dumbest movie idea ever, but if it got the dude a bit closer to drew, then coming soon to a local film fest, t and me; my quest to hang out with mr. t or suicide doors: my quest to date a suicide girl or deceptacon: my quest to date kathleen hannah.

this is the guy you want to bring in if you want to blow the lead in a game against your divison's arch rivals.

this guy too.

Aug 11, 2005

it's the week to be hated

i don't know who's more hated upon this week: the cheap skate students at uci or angels' relief pitching?

scott shields' blew it last night and as of press time, brendan donnelly blew a four run lead in the seventh again; so now, the game is in knots and oakland will probably squaek this one out as well in extra innings. i know normally it would be a smart move to turn over to the bullpen after seven innings and a decent lead, but with the angels, if one thing is cooking, something else is broken. it's been that way the whole season, but honestly, right now, everything is broken. [editor's note: the angels did in fact lose it in the bottom of the 9th, 5-4; relief pitching blows]

i dunno, what's going on, but somebody at the angels is definately fucking up.

and sincerely, if you're a current quarter student at uci, fuck you. honestly, fuck you. i tried to go to the movies today, but i couldn't find a parking spot and i'm not a person who likes to park up close or actually near the place i'm going. i park very, very far away; like people get mad at me because i park so far and they hate having to walk that far. so in anything, i want a far away parking spot that i could pull all the way through. i don't do reverse; if one is to go forward with their life, they shouldn't have to go backwards to do so.

so yeah, i'm picky at where i'm parking but that's okay because i have a fear of dinging of anybody else's car while backing out.

okay, so i'm driving where i normally park to go the movies, but the whole place is full and if you didn't know, the movie theater is right across from uci and i guess, the new quarter just started. so i'm assuming that most of the people in the parking lot are cheap ass students who can't deal with paying for parking.

here's the thing about the southern california college experince, you're allowed to complain about three things: how the governator is fucking up and fees keep going up and up each semester; how professors suck and finally, parking. the parking at everybody's school sucks, but you have to deal with it. yes, i know the price for a parking pass is shitty and for that money, we should at least get our car washed once a month while we're in class. and undoubtledly, there's probably a 'lot a' somewhere on your campus. you know what during the first month or so of each semester/quarter, make best friends with it because there'll probably be plenty of parking there. walking an extra bit to campus isn't going to kill you; sure it may make you a bit sweaty and frankly, some of y'all could use the exercise to drop those freshmen 15.

so, in the future, don't park in the parking lot of a movie theater during the day because it throws a monkey wrench in my schedule. i mean, do they even take into consideration the bizzaro cult of people featuring myself who may still be on vacation and like to go to the movies during the day? nah, they gotta get to class and park for free. bitches.

it's not like i don't understand the necessity to park at some other spot because it's easier. you always park at the raplh's on pch, in order to go taco loco in laguna because parking is always so sketchy there.

and now,there won't be a third season of ali g as well. [via thighs wide awesome]

dracula's nightmare

rachel mcadams tries to cover up the fact that not only is everything is given away in the trailer for her new film, red eye and how much it'll probably suck by making a wacky face. yet, it only shows her fear of failure. i thought the movie or at least a majority of it would take place on a plane and it'd be this crazy claustrophobic thriller, but now that i see they're running around on miami and shooting bazookas at each other; not even gonna waste a movie pass on that business.

it's official, dudes. casey, the girl who lives in laguna beach's version of scarface's mansion and has fake hair on the new season of mtv's laguna beach does in fact have the same last night as your humble narrator (proof [via pink steel & oh they didn't]). i don't know what's worse, this or the fact that the angels' have a player in their farm league also named, doug reinhardt and sadly, he's from the greater southern orange county area as well. so now, i know how homer simpson felt.

i honestly don't know what's worse, hanging out with a bunch of smokers and having your clothes smell like smoke when you get home or doing a writing session in a starbucks and your clothes smell like starbucks when you come home. its pretty much the same thing. sure, i could've sat outside and did my writing session, but just you know that i would've been roped into helping out the lady who locked her keys in her car, if i was outside. inside, it was easier for me to quietly laugh at the situation.

it's sorta like the time this old guy asked me to help him get this cap off his engine but i had to catch a bus and the busdriver told me that'd she want for me, but i didn't want to be late because i had a test i hadn't study for yet, so i just pretended to turn the cap and just say, "oh, it's stuck on there really well. sorry, gotta go to school." it's not like i didn't want to help the guy; i just wanted to get to school and i think i had to probably buy a scantron as well.

i can't speak for everybody and their own personal scene, but out here, last summer, there were napoleon clones. honest to goodness, dudes dressed like napoleon dynamite out here. i mean, i didn't know what was worse: the constant "gosh"es or the lamey in snow boats and wrestler paints at a rilo kiley show. now, this summer it's andy milonakis core. so dudes will be out there wearing their fannels in 100 degree telling people not to call them pee head.

fuck your brangelinas, your tomkats, your bennifers, your vinnifers (that's vince vaughn & jennifer aniston), america's favorite new couple is the killer bees, mischa & rachel. the soundtrack for my fantasy is this album, in particular, "r.i.b." because it's the best song air never recorded, yet it's eon mckai[nsfw] style.

related, ever notice how you never see ben mckenzie hanging out with the killer bees and adam brody. i understand not wanting to hang around the killer bees for extended periods of time because there'll be alot of conversations about stuff in the latest issue of us weekly and this really cute thing they saw at kitson because how much you can listen to that without wanting to shove a pen into your hand? now, i'm wondering if ben mckenzie never hangs out with them because they all think that adam brody is hysterical and ben mckenzie only think he's sorta funny and when you're hanging out with adam brody, you feel force to laugh at his dennis miller esque observations about pop culture or is like adam brody basically like ryan seacrest, really self obessesed and into his things; like he'll talk your ear off about this thing he read by chuck klosterman and then how his band has a show next month and he's pumped for it and how he really wants you to be there.

i don't know, but it seems like ben mckenzie is the 'katie holmes' to adam brody & the killer bees' 'michelle williams, joshua jackson & james van deer beek' minus the whole fake marriage to tom cruise thing.

and with that folks, i'm off to watch the aristocrats.

Aug 10, 2005

welcome to teh suck

first and foremost, does anybody know exactly when coffee bean will stop serving the redonklicously delicious banana carmel ice blended drink? they say they're making them until the end of the summer, but like on what day will they stop serving them? like august 31st? the banana carmel is like crack and sucks to be you if you don't have a coffee bean in your neck of the woods. i'd honestly plan a trip just to come out of the states where there is a coffee bean just in order to have one before the summer is over. hit up jet blue and red eye it over here and red eye it back.

secondly, while i can't forgive the red sox cap, how cool is this dude? first off, he was one of the greatest sketch comedy shows of all time. well, two actually, but then again "the ben stiller show" being great depends on how you like your ben stiller; do you like the creative, young funny guy or the college educated angry man that he plays in every other film these days, but that's beside the point. and he's one of the best sitcoms in the history of world, and now, he works at bars in new york city. but it's official, new york city just won the world's greatest city award.

and thirdly, to the hater from the other day, obviously, you're not a golfer, because you would know that this place thrives on pretension, misspelled words, piss poor sentence construction, incoherent thoughts, rambling ideas and repetation. and you know, sometimes, it's a bit more fun to talk about how the success of jessica simpson represents another giant leap to the over all general decline of western civilazation as opposed to talking about how i freaked out the other night and had to have a friend drive me to the movies because there was a bro sausage fest party happening at the end of my block and i didn't want to drive by their party at the end of the night because i had an overwhelming fear that i might scratch their gigamorous trucks when i'm passing by and not to mention, being a nervous wreck while at the movies about dinging bros' trucks and driving home. and you know, it's a bit more fun to point people in the direction of a girl from the oc on myspace who has like eight billion photos of her and her party crew than talking about the sad & patheic nature of hef's hoe train on e!'s girls next door.

and for those who aren't hip to australian's nightmare, please check out this is spinal tap

i've always been a card carrying member of the 'i hate marcos siega' fan club, but i'm sad to admint his new film, pretty persuasion looks half way decent and i actually want to see it. anybody know if it's good or not. maybe a trip out to lee's will make the film worth it.

this goes to anybody with g5, don't you just know when your computer starts to sound like a plane taking off something bad is going to happen with the computer? not like the whole thing crashes, but like safari can't handle loading a myspace profile and freaks out and in a another window, you had a good portion of your update written, but you forgot to save it and now you're back at the drawing board.

if i were to tell that this is a russian mail order bride who just so excited to come to america and make some kind and lonely man so happy, you'd believe me, right? europeans aren't the world's snappiest dressers and sometimes, they sort mash up clothing ideas (speaking of mash ups, fuck those mash ups of the day that they play on indie 103; i heard the laziest thing on there the other day; the beach boys singing over "smells like teen spirit". while mash up remixes are fairly new, haven't we reached a point in its short life span where anybody using "smells like teen spirit" just screams amateur and hack; "smells like teen spirit" is the new "smoke on the water".) so you know they'll take some cool white track pants, a cami and stuff their feet into a shoe thats at least two sizes too small. well, actually, this isn't a russian mail order bride, it's mischa barton and its probably a few years old, but seriously, she should find out whoever took this photo and just sue the pants off them.

Aug 9, 2005


these girls got the memo about having a wet hot american summer and i bet you still haven't even watched it, yet. netflix it, dudes.

you know me, i totally love the killer bees; they make such a cute couple and they should sincerely consider giving up on dudes all together and get married in vermount one of these days. yet there's a problem, when they're together, they dress like an australian's nightmare. unless these two have a time machine that they're not sharing with the world or at least the delorean can only fit three people (them & doc brown, natch) and they're going back to '83 to see a "too fast for love" era motley crue concert, there's no reason they should be dressed like that. isn't this why we pay our stylists all that money in the first place?

i once knew a dude in high school who had his older sister act as his stylist and according to a friend of a friend, he still has her on the payroll as a stylist to this day.

anybody else think that young jeezy ripped off common & kanye on the song, "go crazy"? the beat sounds awfully alot like "the food" and even jeezy's rhymes or at least the flow sounds awfully alot like common's on "the food". i'm not saying anything, but i'm just saying it's weird to hear somebody ripped off common, that's all.

don't you wish that you had the ablitiy to tell people things without the getting offend. like people you don't know at all, but you want to tell them certain things without them getting all upset and actually listening to what you have to say; you know, no, 'okay, thanks' bullshit, but you know they'll at least taking it under serious consideration. cause all i'm saying is that, baby, your head shots make you look like you're in 30s, when you're not and they make you look like the trainer from "the biggest loser".

its fair to share that i've grossly underestimated the critical eye of the american movie going public as the dukes of hazard opened extremely well this past weekend. did you read ebert's review? sure, the dude has given a bit too many raves this year, but he's clearly on point when he talks about jessica simpson; "Maybe she isn't even smart enough to wear shorts." you know, who are the people who thought to themselves, let's drop 50 bucks on friday night. first we'll watch that jessica simpson movie, then cruise over to applebees afterwards. we always ask ourselves who exactly voted george w bush last november and now we're asking ourselves who exactly went to see the dukes of hazard and folks, we're entering a new form of entertainment, red states cinema. first there was the passion, now the dukes, and what's next? better yet, what's going to happen to people like you and me, well hopefully you have a somewhat similar film taste as me, but anyways, how are we, you know, normal people, going to watch our movies. so far, red state cinema has proven to be a bonafide money maker, so where does that leave room at the mutliplex for movies like the devil's rejects and sin city? films that are chock full of violence and nudity; they're already put into the tiniest theaters already.

it's not red state related, but over the past years, the movies have been lacking in nudity and violence, unless you saw a film like van wilder; you know, it's this pressure to be commercially vaiable, which is good and all; because it is an industry, but you know, with the succes or at least, what i precieve to be the success of red state cinema, is there going to be a shift to more bullshit movies with nascar ties in and religious themes?

i'm just gland that i didn't make a bet about the dukes being number 1 because if i did, i wouldn't have been able to mention dario argento for the whole week, well unless the extremely lovely and awesome and cool and rad people over at anchor bay entertainment wanted to send me promo copies of their upcoming argento dvd releases: the card player and trauma; both available on august 23rd at your local dvd store as well as amazon and deep discount dvd.

now, maybe i'll get something for free.

samaire armstrong also dresses like an australian's nightmare, but she looks better with longer & darker hair.[photo via samairearmstrong (dot)net]

i don't know what's more boring: making a movie (there's alot of down time) or listening to a podcast about the making of a spike lee movie hosted by a guy named human newman?

and seriously, you owe to yourself to listen at least one gogogo airheart song in your life. may i suggest, "last goodbye".

Aug 8, 2005

close to modern

how can you call it a summer when most likely you haven't even watched wet hot american summer, yet? somebody should've sent a memos to the lameys behind flashback features that wet hot american summer is the feel good hit of the summer and i'm not talking about the josh homme kind either.

speaking of feel good hits of the summer, is it me or has this summer been lacking an anthem or have i been listening to much krcw to grasp onto what the anthem is this summer? "pon de replay" sounds like another varation on last summer's jam, "cuolo" by pitbull, which sounded an awfully alot like "move yer body" by nina sky. boring. then there's "sugar, we're gonna down" by fallout boy. maybe if i was going into 7th grade this fall, i'd totally be into fallout boy because they sorta rock and they took their name from a character on "the simpsons". i guess the kids like their punk rock in the form of power pop, who knows. there's no great rap anthem this summer, you know. sure, we got kel's epic "trapped in the closet" chapters 1-5, but that goes beyond a simple summer jam. there's the 50 cent/mobb deep tune, "out of control," which is anything but out of control. havoc & the h.n.i.c. sound as they're rapping in sweedish. also, does 50 cent actually know anything about what exactly "outta control" is? this is outta control not making some shorty bounce. take that back, it was only outta hand, this is actually outta control.

what else is there? "bat country" by avenged sevenfold, who i thought, were one of those goofy core-core bands whose t-shirt you see upon the walls of the urine soaked heck hole of a venue, chain reaction. you know a whole bunch of screams, breakdowns and girls wearing too much eye liner, but apparently, avenged sevenfold signed onto a major label and now they sound like a velvet revolver cover band. i'm not trying to spit on the salad of ax7; i actually apperciate the band and their video for "unholy confessions" which for starters plays like a more believable of that one papa roach video where they show kids at home, then they show them watching papa roach play and secondly, that video helped me craft a character in a story i've been writing off and on; so in a way, i'm indebt to this band, but i mean, what happened, they sound like velvet revolver and it just served as a friendly reminder why i should never tune into kroq.

musicians, we only have two more weeks for the anthem. so where is it? where is the song that i'm going to listen to my ipod while walking to class and yearn for all those carefree days i spent at home downloading episodes of "extras" ? or is the summer anthem of 2005 going to be a steve perry classic thanks in part to peter griffin and stephen & lc? i got no problems with that, but everybody better step the fuck next summer.

here's another problem though, kcrw is in the middle of a pledge drive right now, so basically for the next week or two, there's no kcrw. unless you really want to listen to nic hardcourt talk about how they need money over a new death cab for cutie single, then like playing a minute and half of some other song. i understand that they need listener support in order to survive, but i mean, can't they like just sit aside a single half hour each day during the pledge drive to boring we need money banter. i mean, if stern goes on vacation this week and there's borefest3000 on the other station, i'll have nothing to listen in the morning. can't really stand the inside joke fest of a morning show on indie103 nor can i stand crappy punk rock records. i guess i'll have to listen to kday.

speaking of kday, this brings me to a point about that show, wild 'n' out with nick cannon. they bill it as a freestyle comedy show, when its basically bad improv games, but with a dj and video hos on the sidelines. here's the thing about freestyling in the hip hop sense of it, only really nerdy hip hop people dig on freestyling or if you're an mc, yourself. the people that are obessesed with freestyle are the same people who'll tell you that hip hop isn't a type of music, but it's a lifestyle and it's graffati and its breakin'. and these are the people who'll tell that the new kday isn't really kday. of course, it's not the classic kday but at least its something. its just that sometimes, backpackers or whatever they call themselves these days are rather dumb and probably the reason why i'm more incline to pick up a young jeezy record over the visionaries. back to that nick cannon show, whatever happened to just regular comedy shows? why does it have to a gimmick to it? oh, it's hip hop comedy. well, it certainly doesn't make it funnier, so why not do a regular sketch show or nothing at all. i mean, somebody once told me that if you haven't anything funny to say, then don't say anything at all.

related; did anybody else think that one girl in the pussycat dolls look like christina milian? i haven't ever seen the two in the same place at the same time.

do you think she gets tired of people telling her that she looks like paris hilton or does she take it as a complament? myself, personally, i can't take them. honestly, i once had somebody tell me that my words were beautiful, but i use too many of them. you know how do you react to that? and if somebody were to tell me that i looked paris hilton, i'd be really upset and march right into the nearest toni & guy salon and change my look imediately and utter stuff under my breath about how that hilton bitch better not cop my look or i'm gonna be like bjork that one time she beat up a news reporter outside of an airport.

mike mills' thumbsucker can not come out soon enough. i remember a couple of months back just freaking out over mike mills' graphic design and short film stuff at the beautiful losers exhibit at ocma and there's just something about this film that has me hooked. looks way better than chumbscrubber even though it has camilla belle in it.

ps. since when has there been a camilla belle (dot) net? this is an extremely necessary site.

so very necessary.

one of my wishes is to publish a book of writings. ideally, it'd be titled, "skeet on..." and it each chapter in the book would have simple titles like, politics, kobe bryant, etc. so it'd be like, "skeet on politics." how clever! although, i'd say about politics is, george w bush is fucking up and the governator is fucking up and bill maher isn't funny and like kate moss skinny in real life. and hopefully with synergy from a publisher, i'd be able to interview people like joe rogan (mainly i'd want to talk about his thoughts about his mexican equilvent on the spanish language version of fear factor, la gana verde) and the people behind indie/hipsters/punk porn movement, but once again, mainly, about their decision making process; like how do they decide which set goes up on what day and would they liken themselves to a programmer for a major tv network, cause in theory, they're doing the same exact thing. and in the middle, there'd be ten color pages of best captions from the cobra snake over the year.

but i think the best book idea i had ever would be a bathroom book entitled, "the people i've seen," which would be descriptions of all the weird things and people i've seen in my life. from the slight varations of bros in orange county (there are the ones who are still into nu metal and wear cargo pants and have spiked hair; there's the skater guy whose too old or fat to skate anymore with dickies shorts that stop just above the ankle who wear black socks with giantic black skate shoes and most likely, some gross facial hair) to the homeless man who once cleared an entire section of an extremely crowded bus. you know it's one thing for me to describe what the bird lady of serrano creek park looks like, it's another thing to see her.

well, allow me to describe her, first off, she looks like peter griffin from "family guy" but with boobs. a small bird rests on one of her shoulders and mind you, she's walking through a park. on her right hand, another bird rests and on her back, is a birdcage. a fucking birdcage strapped onto her back like well, a backpack with another bird inside. it's one thing to take a dog out of a walk, but three birds. wouldn't taking a bird out on a walk be the world's biggest problem as a bird owner. it would seem that they could just cruise away like it aint no thing.

okay, so, that would basically be my book, but i still thought the idea was lacking something, so i figure if i really want this book idea to take off, i need to find a police sketch artist, so he or she could draw the person based on my descriptions and frankly with that winning combo, it'd be the best selling book in the history of urban outfitters.

and if you ever want to hear the eminem of othrodox jews, you gotta pay me.

and finally, if you have the free time and downloading skills, may i suggest to you, the tunes, "the swam is a murderer" part 1 & 2 by goblin. it's the kind of jams that everybody and their kid sister wished the mars volta would make or at least thought they were gonna make after listening to "the tremulant" ep.

ps. apparently, me and that girl, casey with the fake hair on the new season of "laguna beach" share a last name, but we're not related; but now it's like that doug cartoon fiasco of '92 all over again.

Aug 5, 2005

2000 man

does anybody else remember that brief period in time when you thought that weird al was the most talneted musician all of time? way better than anything those guys in the beatles ever did. also, remember that time when the most scandalous thing you ever heard in a song was, "stupid dumb shit god damn motherfucker," from that offsrpring song?


what are we too cool for school?

were we youngsters bumping "superthug" off the radio rested on the handle bars of your bike, already claming that the neptunes were overrated?

if you can't tell, i'm trying to go the whole week with a rachel bilson photo every day. how cute does she look? eating on an ice cream cone, while adam brody just looks he's playing secret service or at least undercover cop. i bet at one point in the day, he pulled out his cell phone and spoke into it like it was a walkie talkie and said, "the coast is clear."

a thing i don't understand is this, why is the dukes of hazard the only major wide release this weekend? sure, wkw's 2046 is out this weekend, but if you're cool, you've already seen it and if you're really cool, you already own it on dvd and if you're beyond cool, then you're already over the film and already complaining that the new wkw film sucks and one single frame hasn't even been shot. and there's the new bill murray/jim jarmusch film, broken flowers, but that's only playing at the laemmles and you'll end up spending like 40 bucks and you thought were seeing a matinee. and honestly, are you going to watch the dukes of hazard? do you know a single person who'se been looking forward to that movie and filled with antipaction that it'll be a good movie. i can see 12 year old girls be stoking on the movie, but the movie going public at large? come on, why not wide release a bill murray film.

bill murray is an icon, jessica simpson is just a fad. a blimp on "i love the '00s". where as bill murray is a god. jessica simpson is the reason why every girl has to have a louis vutton bag. bill murray has made never you want to have anything other than a good time and a smile and probably a laugh.

so in other words, i don't understand the popularity of jessica simpson. i don't think i'll ever will. to me, she's just an girl with a chin like kirk douglas from texas that whines alot.

thank goodness, there's a marathon of "arrested development" on fox tonight. it'd be cooler if fox just actually showed regular reruns of arrested, then maybe they'd be able to establish a regular audience as opposed to the cultish audience including myself.

Aug 4, 2005

certain songs

it's like, sometimes, i can't write anything cause like the cobrasnake doesn't have any good photos up there or it's like same 8 people who are always on there or it's like pictures of what i precieve to be the cobra snake's old lady, whose probably younger than me, but that's beside the point. but, it's like la girls, be a bit more creative and exciting when you're at loose tooth on cinescape tuesdays. sure, you probably won't read the write up about you in this blog or any other blog that writes goofy captions, but you know, you're doing something that's beneficial to a dude who lives in wisconsin whose bored at his job and looking to kill sometime. so let's not make the amelie face for like the eight millionth time. this isn't livejournal or myspace, it's the cobrasnake and with that top like that, she would be more outgoing or something. make me wanna holla or whatever marvin gaye once said.

my main concern isn't who could mischa b possibly be on the phone with while hangin' out with rachel b; probably calling her assitant to pick up some al kapone mix tapes or playing phone tag with lohan; but my concern is why is rachel bilson dressed like mrs. ropper from "three's company"? sure, she could be just coming back from the beach or a refreshing dip in the pool, but to be all mrs. ropper steez at such young age, i dunno. i mean, joanna newsom dresses pretty crazy, but even she would say, "that's a bit too old looking for me."

i remember the days when at like shows, it just like the cobrasnake, before he was the cobrasnake; he was just another dude with a headband on and like there would be some random member from one of the following l.a. bands: rooney, phantom planet and rilo kiley there and if you're lucky, there'd be two. and then there'd be the girls who went to the show because they hope they run into one of the hot boyz from either phantom planet or rooney at the show. there'd be the dudes, like myself who went to amajority of their shows because they were in love with the girls and then there were the girls who actually just liked the band for writing decent songs, and of course, the like's parents were always there and sometimes, videotaping like it was the school play or something. but nowadays, everybody in la is at the shows and the like probably has nic hardcourt's email address and they're talking to roman coppola about directing their video. i don't want to sound like a classic wu tang song, but can't it be all so simple again? can't it be a few cool kids at the echo trying to be seen and firmly believing that maybe, the girls in the band will think you're cool because you go to all of their shows and you sing along with the songs and buy merch; 2002/2003 exoticness

did anybody else feel uncomfortable during the blow out reunion special? i don't know if it was the awkward interview skills of jonathan antin's sister, robin or the flop sweat of former chippendale dancer/hair stylist, bobby after every one of his jokes bombed; but it just felt too weird. i almost want to say that it was a post modern jonathan antin; post modern in the sense that he knew what the producers of the show wanted to hear from and he just acted his whole way through the thing. i honestly believe that jonathan antin would've said that his hair had never been that banging even without a camera crew in front of him, but what he said on the reunion special was just like, 'i hope i make it out on the soup with this one'. although, i was shocked by two things on the reunion special, one, scott's, the shampooist/assitant, new g.i. jane look and secondly, that kimberely no longer works at the salon. now hear me out, people, of anybody on reality tv, i think i probably had the best shot with kimberely from "blow out." i don't know why, but i think what charm i have could've probably worked on her. i know when talking with kimberely from "blow out," not to mention dario argento films and talk about how this author wrote a really funny passage in a book dissing her favorite band. kimberely just reminded me of this one girl who cut my hair once and i thought there was a bit of chemistry going on between us. so it's like, okay, if i can do this with one stylist, i think i could pull it off with another.

btw, that kathy griffin reality show is about half hour too long and it's probably what lisa kudrow wanted to do with her horrible hbo show in the first place. it took me a while to realize, but lisa kudrow wants to be kathy griffin on her show; i mean look at it, kathy griffin is trying get to free stuff and in the episode of "the comeback," lisa kudrow was trying to get a free suv and the most damning evidence, lisa kudrow has red hair. scandalous yes, but still, just look at it. or maybe, i'm wrong, i could only get through about 10 minutes of "the comeback".

whatever happened to city high?

and where the hell is dan the automator? yes, there was a handsome boy modeling school record last november, but that was kind of meh with only one good song ("greatest mistake"), but i mean, like where's a real automator record? hasn't kool keith made like 29 albums since the lovage album?

and does anybody know if big tigga is going to be the permant replacement for a.j. on 106 & park; it's a smart move to keep julissa around cause i'll sit through a horrible bow wow video for her; ps. anybody notice that bow wow has bo derek hair these days?

and can somebody explain why tommy lee made a record with the guy from something corporate as well as a good charolette dude and like nick carter and like the guy from nickelback? i thought tommy lee was a rocker, but here he is making ballads with weiner kids. what's next? tommy lee gonna try and do something with the animal collective guys. "dude, after every show on the crue reunion tour, i'd light up a spliff and just zone out with "young prayer" record, man."

and if you haven't heard "ellwood area" by crime mob before, you don't know what you're missing.

Aug 3, 2005

the day after yesterday

excuse me for a minute while i'm not necessarily suffering from jet lag nor time zone problems, i'm just suffering from this horrible condition where you just sit around all day reading chuck klosterman books and you lose track what day of the week it is and to me, wednesday feels like a tuesday.

okay, remember how last week, i was all excited about how much fun it must be to party with the killer bees, rachel & mischa, but looking at these two after a party, i dunno or it's just that mischa b keeps on asking to go to mel's, but not the one on highland ave, but the one on sunset cause that's the real mel's and rachel b is just like, i can't deal with this bitch and now, i gotta go home and put up with some rambling monologue about intersting adam's day was, when it just amounts to him toking and going to band practice. [photo via rachel bilson(dot)com]

i guess i only like to talk about baseball when my team, the anaheim angels are doing well, but as of late, they've been fading out about as quickly as the cast of e!'s "kill reality"'s celebrity is (although, they beat up on the orioless last night). speaking of the orioles, while raffi viagra is busted for steriod use, why hasn't anybody done a drug test on jason giambi, yet? okay, so for the first two months of the season, the dude, most likely without the aid of roids, hits about 9 dingers and in the month of july, he has 14 home runs (chek the stats). i'm sorry but i just don't see how it's possible for giambi to finally get equally footing in a post steriod game of baseball; maybe the dude went and got some contacts that allows him to see the ball as big as a nerf ball, but it just seems so out of nowhere that he's become a home run machine. sure, his home run slump at the start of the season most likely is related to the overall slump that the ruiners of major league baseball were going through in the first half of the season, but still to go from one single home run in the month of june to 14 just doesn't make any sense unless if giambi holla'ed at blanco for a quick pick me up.

and i don't think it's a matter of a tarnished image for giambi, because he's a yankee, so his image is already tarnished. it's like what lil scrappy said, "if you gonna rap about it, be trill about it and don't say shit if you can't be real about it" .

note to the reader: to get that lil scrappy line correct, i had to go from listening to the smiths to lil scrappy. oh man, i got an ecletic taste, yet, why do i often feel like i got nothing to listen on my ipod?

so howard stern is taking his e! show to pay per view in january. is anybody else getting the impression that's going to cost way too much to keep up with stern and for what? just to hear him say, "shit" and see the boobies of some girl you're too lazy to google. don't get me wrong, i'm a sternaholic and most likely, i'll be going to sirius in january, but here's the thing, i worship the ground that larry david walks upon, but i don't get hbo. i just live off the dvd releases of "curb...," so what makes you think i'm going to drop 10 bucks to see stern when i don't even get hbo. now if stern would get off his high horse and do some dvds of his show, then we'll talk, but an adam carolla morning show is sounding better and better.

sometimes hollywood needs to realize that not everybody loves a high concept film, the rock & ryan reynolds in a buddy cop movie in the vein of lethal weapon set in san fran; so you know it'll have a car chase that the filmmakers will compare to the one in the steve mcqueen film, bullit but it'll be really bad and probably have cgi car effects. boring.

better film news is that the criteron collection is releasing jean piere melville's le samourai on dvd in october. a film that i've been dying to see since i saw a trailer for it at the nuart in the lates 90s and i'm teased by it every time i see the poster for it at the new beverly. [heads up courtsey davis dvd]

and dudes, don't forget, tonight at 8pm, it's return of jonathan antin and his bangin' hair on the blow out reunion special; just live with the thought that probably next summer, we'll be talking about the new season of blow out where jonathan is upset because his kid is still bald and can't have bangin' hair. and if jonathan antin really does have a hair cutting school, i may have to take a class, undercover steez, but then again, i once said, i'm gonna sign up for a sciencetology reading and blow the lid off with woodward & bernstein style reporting, but you know, i took a look at the local sciencetology center parking lot (yes, we have one in the oc. it's in tustin/santa ana) and said no way. no panic attack is worth enlightment and the ablitiy to call matt lauer "glib".

and if you haven't already, listen to the dj honda/mos def song, "traveling man" at least once in your life.

people are acting like it's truely miraclious thing that kate hudson is back on the scene making movies again. frankly, it's not a good thing. can you name one kate hudson movie that you sent to see and was not forced to watch on an airplane to prague? she had a movie out last summer that nobody went to see. if it wasn't for cameron crowe and the fact she's the daugther of a famous actress, kate hudson would probably be waiting on mary kate olsen & whoever her boyfriend is that week at fred 62 on a saturday afternoon. there's nothing remotely special about her. any blonde girl with just a smidgen of personality can light up a room because in general, men are more attracted to girls with yellow hair, dyed or real. that's why the second season of "laguna beach," isn't working so far. when it's focused on kirsten's blonde, yet un-charsmatic friends, i'm turning the dial. so please don't support kate hudson because i don't want to see her face around these parts anymore. if anything, kate hudson or at least, we have to deal with her celebrity due to circumstance. we're just victims of circumstance and hopefully, the movie police will lock her up after this stinker. i mean, how dare the marketing department of universal to compare skeleton key to the work of roman polanski in his prime? i've seen the trailer and it just looks like a spooky version of an oprah tv movie or at least, something to flip by on lifetime while getting to comedy centeral.