close to modern
how can you call it a summer when most likely you haven't even watched wet hot american summer, yet? somebody should've sent a memos to the lameys behind flashback features that wet hot american summer is the feel good hit of the summer and i'm not talking about the josh homme kind either.
speaking of feel good hits of the summer, is it me or has this summer been lacking an anthem or have i been listening to much krcw to grasp onto what the anthem is this summer? "pon de replay" sounds like another varation on last summer's jam, "cuolo" by pitbull, which sounded an awfully alot like "move yer body" by nina sky. boring. then there's "sugar, we're gonna down" by fallout boy. maybe if i was going into 7th grade this fall, i'd totally be into fallout boy because they sorta rock and they took their name from a character on "the simpsons". i guess the kids like their punk rock in the form of power pop, who knows. there's no great rap anthem this summer, you know. sure, we got kel's epic "trapped in the closet" chapters 1-5, but that goes beyond a simple summer jam. there's the 50 cent/mobb deep tune, "out of control," which is anything but out of control. havoc & the h.n.i.c. sound as they're rapping in sweedish. also, does 50 cent actually know anything about what exactly "outta control" is? this is outta control not making some shorty bounce. take that back, it was only outta hand, this is actually outta control.
what else is there? "bat country" by avenged sevenfold, who i thought, were one of those goofy core-core bands whose t-shirt you see upon the walls of the urine soaked heck hole of a venue, chain reaction. you know a whole bunch of screams, breakdowns and girls wearing too much eye liner, but apparently, avenged sevenfold signed onto a major label and now they sound like a velvet revolver cover band. i'm not trying to spit on the salad of ax7; i actually apperciate the band and their video for "unholy confessions" which for starters plays like a more believable of that one papa roach video where they show kids at home, then they show them watching papa roach play and secondly, that video helped me craft a character in a story i've been writing off and on; so in a way, i'm indebt to this band, but i mean, what happened, they sound like velvet revolver and it just served as a friendly reminder why i should never tune into kroq.
musicians, we only have two more weeks for the anthem. so where is it? where is the song that i'm going to listen to my ipod while walking to class and yearn for all those carefree days i spent at home downloading episodes of "extras" ? or is the summer anthem of 2005 going to be a steve perry classic thanks in part to peter griffin and stephen & lc? i got no problems with that, but everybody better step the fuck next summer.
here's another problem though, kcrw is in the middle of a pledge drive right now, so basically for the next week or two, there's no kcrw. unless you really want to listen to nic hardcourt talk about how they need money over a new death cab for cutie single, then like playing a minute and half of some other song. i understand that they need listener support in order to survive, but i mean, can't they like just sit aside a single half hour each day during the pledge drive to boring we need money banter. i mean, if stern goes on vacation this week and there's borefest3000 on the other station, i'll have nothing to listen in the morning. can't really stand the inside joke fest of a morning show on indie103 nor can i stand crappy punk rock records. i guess i'll have to listen to kday.
speaking of kday, this brings me to a point about that show, wild 'n' out with nick cannon. they bill it as a freestyle comedy show, when its basically bad improv games, but with a dj and video hos on the sidelines. here's the thing about freestyling in the hip hop sense of it, only really nerdy hip hop people dig on freestyling or if you're an mc, yourself. the people that are obessesed with freestyle are the same people who'll tell you that hip hop isn't a type of music, but it's a lifestyle and it's graffati and its breakin'. and these are the people who'll tell that the new kday isn't really kday. of course, it's not the classic kday but at least its something. its just that sometimes, backpackers or whatever they call themselves these days are rather dumb and probably the reason why i'm more incline to pick up a young jeezy record over the visionaries. back to that nick cannon show, whatever happened to just regular comedy shows? why does it have to a gimmick to it? oh, it's hip hop comedy. well, it certainly doesn't make it funnier, so why not do a regular sketch show or nothing at all. i mean, somebody once told me that if you haven't anything funny to say, then don't say anything at all.
related; did anybody else think that one girl in the pussycat dolls look like christina milian? i haven't ever seen the two in the same place at the same time.
do you think she gets tired of people telling her that she looks like paris hilton or does she take it as a complament? myself, personally, i can't take them. honestly, i once had somebody tell me that my words were beautiful, but i use too many of them. you know how do you react to that? and if somebody were to tell me that i looked paris hilton, i'd be really upset and march right into the nearest toni & guy salon and change my look imediately and utter stuff under my breath about how that hilton bitch better not cop my look or i'm gonna be like bjork that one time she beat up a news reporter outside of an airport.
mike mills' thumbsucker can not come out soon enough. i remember a couple of months back just freaking out over mike mills' graphic design and short film stuff at the beautiful losers exhibit at ocma and there's just something about this film that has me hooked. looks way better than chumbscrubber even though it has camilla belle in it.
ps. since when has there been a camilla belle (dot) net? this is an extremely necessary site.
so very necessary.
one of my wishes is to publish a book of writings. ideally, it'd be titled, "skeet on..." and it each chapter in the book would have simple titles like, politics, kobe bryant, etc. so it'd be like, "skeet on politics." how clever! although, i'd say about politics is, george w bush is fucking up and the governator is fucking up and bill maher isn't funny and like kate moss skinny in real life. and hopefully with synergy from a publisher, i'd be able to interview people like joe rogan (mainly i'd want to talk about his thoughts about his mexican equilvent on the spanish language version of fear factor, la gana verde) and the people behind indie/hipsters/punk porn movement, but once again, mainly, about their decision making process; like how do they decide which set goes up on what day and would they liken themselves to a programmer for a major tv network, cause in theory, they're doing the same exact thing. and in the middle, there'd be ten color pages of best captions from the cobra snake over the year.
but i think the best book idea i had ever would be a bathroom book entitled, "the people i've seen," which would be descriptions of all the weird things and people i've seen in my life. from the slight varations of bros in orange county (there are the ones who are still into nu metal and wear cargo pants and have spiked hair; there's the skater guy whose too old or fat to skate anymore with dickies shorts that stop just above the ankle who wear black socks with giantic black skate shoes and most likely, some gross facial hair) to the homeless man who once cleared an entire section of an extremely crowded bus. you know it's one thing for me to describe what the bird lady of serrano creek park looks like, it's another thing to see her.
well, allow me to describe her, first off, she looks like peter griffin from "family guy" but with boobs. a small bird rests on one of her shoulders and mind you, she's walking through a park. on her right hand, another bird rests and on her back, is a birdcage. a fucking birdcage strapped onto her back like well, a backpack with another bird inside. it's one thing to take a dog out of a walk, but three birds. wouldn't taking a bird out on a walk be the world's biggest problem as a bird owner. it would seem that they could just cruise away like it aint no thing.
okay, so, that would basically be my book, but i still thought the idea was lacking something, so i figure if i really want this book idea to take off, i need to find a police sketch artist, so he or she could draw the person based on my descriptions and frankly with that winning combo, it'd be the best selling book in the history of urban outfitters.
and if you ever want to hear the eminem of othrodox jews, you gotta pay me.
and finally, if you have the free time and downloading skills, may i suggest to you, the tunes, "the swam is a murderer" part 1 & 2 by goblin. it's the kind of jams that everybody and their kid sister wished the mars volta would make or at least thought they were gonna make after listening to "the tremulant" ep.
ps. apparently, me and that girl, casey with the fake hair on the new season of "laguna beach" share a last name, but we're not related; but now it's like that doug cartoon fiasco of '92 all over again.