compared to what
i sent a friend of mine a text message the other day that said, 'if you see a girl wearing a bad brains shirt, you should marry her because she has better taste in music than you do" now, it wasn't a knock on my friend's taste in music, because, frankly, i think we all have horrible taste in music. if we really truly had amazing taste in music, we'd all be listening to classical music. while today's music or at least what we listen to has its fair share of geniuses (hello, paul wall), but the o.g.'s of classical music were on some next level shit. those dudes did not have pro tools or anything of that nature. it was just them, a quill, and a sheet of paper and from that, they created a type of music that makes everybody smarter. we listen to what we listen to because certain songs have certain meaning and feelings. it's rather difficult to make a personal connection to woodwinds and strings; "oh, you know that part when the violins just start to pick up, that totally reminds me of when tami came into my life; just at the right moment."
dudes, i don't get it anymore. sure, one cameo on the cobrasnake is okay for a celeb, but for two cameos? come on, samaire armstrong, there has to be a better way to generate buzz for yourself than this. or should i take this as a sign? a sign that if i get off my high horse and finally finish this script i've been developing off and on since last friday afternoon called pretentious, which can only be described as the last three gus van sant films meets the brown bunny; that maybe, just maybe, samaire armstrong will be in it. or maybe, it's just that samaire armstrong has an old high school friend in tow and frankly, it's more fun to dance around in public to "destroy everything you touch" by ladytron instead in front of a computer. seriously, if anybody sees samaire armstrong in the clubs, tell her that's she pretty outta control, then run away cause thats what i would do.
now, i know why cam wasn't on the jim jones album; he's too busy making a musical, streets is watching style. dip set related, is it just me or does the chorus on "confront ya babe" sound like some 80s song? its on the tip of my tongue, but i'm just having a gignarmous brain cramp about it.
here's the thing about the mtv awards, if weiner kids like this get to go, then i want no part of it. honestly, would you want to party with people like this and like that. well, i'd probably want to hang out with chingo bling, but come on, bam magera? the booking of celebrities on this show is either on par or just below par with the booking on the jimmy kimmel show. oh wow the cast of laguna beach (check out how close kristin & alex are together, hmmm.....); i can't just drive 20 minutes south or at least take a day trip over to south coast plaza and run into those kids. boring. hey, check it out, it's timbaland & nelly furtado, remember her? yeah, and they look like they've been partying with pedro guerro and doc gooden during hurrican katrina mania. i honestly believe that trent of pink is the new blog is more famous than most of the people at this year's vmas. the event is promoted as being the ulimate party of the year, an ultra exclusive diddy party, but if hulk hogan and his fanny pack can get into this ultra cool party, then i'd rather take my chances, deal with parallel parking and go to some hipster club in la because odss are i'll probably run into samaire armstrong there.
this was one thing i liked about the vmas this year. r kelly's performance. holy shit. the part where he basically went, chuck-rob for like a minute was insane. honestly, thats the right way to lip sync, people. kells can pee on whoever he wants, if he keeps on cranking out those "trapped in the closet" chapters.
and i also like eva longoria's camel toe. does anybody have any vidcaps of that yet? another good moment was when fat joe made everything awkward after he called g-unit before he gave away that award, then later, tony yao & 50 tried to calling out fat joe, but every other word was bleeped. also, i liked seeing juelz santana sitting in the back, looking bored because if i was there, i'd be bored out of my mind, too.
the thing about diddy as the vma's host, especially during his openning dance number, was how much he reminded me of g.o.b. from "arrested development". i honestly thought i was going to hear "the final countdown" or at least a vocal sample from that song as diddy danced across the stage. he just tried so hard, but i mean as a host, you're supposed to keep things moving forward and make fun of stuff. you know, not bringing the show to a grinding hault because you have to dance on stage with omarion or you want do a horrible bit about a queer eye make over for the arch bishop don magic juan (wow way to be current, diddy. what's next, you're gonna make a zinger about those wacky osbournes). and the reason why a comedian should host a show like this because it doesn't feed the egos of the performers. does kanye west need to have his car waxed anymore? no, he doesn't. okay, the dude is on the cover of time magazine, so we don't need people yelling every five minutes about how much they love kanye. people, we're creating a james bond supervillian here, not a rapper with a long term career. although, diddy's kitty farmer shirt was kinda hot.
i've seen my fair share of horrible camera work and i've done my fair share of god awful camera work, but for a program of this caliber and nature, this has to be the worst thing i've ever seen. way worse than that time at some other high school's choir concert when robin brown walked on stage holding a camera, basically stood in the middle of the stage and fell on the stage because i, the cable puller did not pull enough cable for him to move. okay, the camera work was on par with a seventh grade video production class. every shot was abstructed by some stupid kid's arm waving or the cameraman had no clue where anybody was going to be. didn't they have rehearsal for this shit? the lighting was off, maybe it was the ego of 50, but during their performance, mobb deep was pretty much running around in shadows, which some may use a metaphor jumping off point. not to mention
it just seemed whenever anything interesting would happen, i.e. when uncle luke came out with his lil' hoe train mtv would go to reaction shots. why would i be cocerned with the reaction to booty dancing from destiny's child? i don't care about them. how am i going to know if its shocking if i can't even see it for myself? why do i want to see the reactions of people who for the most part are embarassed to be there? do you really think that jay-z wants to sit next to young jeezy? no. did you see gwen stefani? after the first award, she was already to cruise out of there.
the vmas should go the way of the movie awards, taped them on a saturday. edit them over the week and show it on a thursday night. there's no reason why it should be live in this post janet jackson world because anything remotely interesting be seen by the reactions of the face of nelly and the st. lunatics.
also, what the fork happened to hiliary duff? she used to look normal, but now, she has like baba boey teeth or something. well, i was more of a miranda fan anyways.