skeeting aint easy
for a woman who if you google (nsfw), you'll be able see her cooter six ways from sunday, nicole lenz dresses very conversativetly and frankly, i gotta applaud that. sure, being naked in a magazine and being linked in a phoney sex tape scandal with paris hilton and simon rex (remember him?) got her shine, but you know, she's above it these days.
is this everybody's favorite american apparel model who also has her own teeny porn site? or is her sister or just some girl who slightly resembles her. if its any of the above, i may have to reconsider my stance of spending my nights watching emmanuelle in outer space reruns and actually head up to big, bad, scary l.a. with it's parrallel parking and two lanes streets pretending to be three lanes and it's unprotected left turns to hang out with these people. then again, we all know, i wouldn't hang out with them. i'd just talk to the people i came with and maybe dance by myself, but i'd probably fall asleep in some booth and my already empty wallet would be cleaned out again (drinks are expensive, dude) and in the morning, i'd wake up in some shady motel missing a kidney. maybe, i'm just better off falling asleep watching nicoas roeg films and just hitting the torrent circuits.
apparently, lo from "laguna beach" season 1 heard that she's not the favorite cast member anymore. you know, everybody is into alex h these days, so what do you know, lo has to go and flash the goods to win some popularity points. i wonder if they acted like this in high school? (nsfw) [via defamer]
i don't know if this is a victory for me or just admittance of failure, because if it's admittance of failure, i still take it as a victory, but anyways, did anybody else notice that mtv has taken my beloved "the reality show" off the air and moved it to their online channel. not even mtv2 or mtvU or mtv hits, but straight to the internet; although upon further inspection and according to the website of host, dan levy, the show has been cancelled, thus defeating the sole purpose of the show and only reenforcing my views on reality tv or at least, mtv's reality shows, we, the audience don't want to pick out the people we want to watch, we want to have that work done for us. okay, look, it's a show about a bunch of people who are desperate for attention, but nobody cares about people who are straved for attention, unless they're janice dickinson or any other cast member of any season of "the surreal life". you see, that show works because, the people on it are already picked, so we don't have to decide a difficult task. also, its not even a issue, that all of the subjects or potential reality stars were nothing sort of boring. i don't have room in my life for a "laguna beach" knock off about some scummy suburb in san diego county. we don't need any more ditzy girls, we already have making the band 3, laguna beach, the real world, miss seventeen magazine, next, and, various episodes of made. the demand has been met.
let's not even get started with the whole sitting down to watch a tv show on the computer, other than that episode of "lost," you forgot to tivo that you downloaded, why would you watch tv on your computer unless you're stuck on an long flight and you got a laptop. it's just not comfortable or perhaps, i'm just bitter because i can't paratake in any of these broadband features and shows because i have a mac and the chances of web sites becoming mac friendly doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
speaking of mtv, have you seen the ryan caberra informercial known as "score" yet? where do i begin with this one? i honestly don't know. there's the various horrible hair styles, which are basically varations on yu-goi hair with the ocassional awkward fedora (why are fedoras popular again? if i see a person in a fedora and a regular tv shirt, i think of ducky, i think of the goofy best friend, i don't think oh, this is a look i want to copy.) and yeah, the whole concept of the show is pretty lame: aspiring musicians write songs to win a date. how did this get made? what kind of straggle hold does the evil joe simpson have the entertainment industry to get this show onto mtv? sure, room raiders was no "arrested development," but at least, the whole 'i like stuff and you sorta like the same stuff as well' was infintely more interesting than a couple of dudes wearing flip flops sitting in a reheresal room struggling to use the word, 'napoleon' in a song cause the girl just loves that movie.
but back to joe simpson for a minute, how can we stop him? what can we do to stop him? hopefully, if you're reading this, you're not buying the records of those who have the touch of the devil aka joe simpson, but if you do buy those records and you read this, please stop. okay, here's the thing, joe simpson probably is the same age as my parents while yes, my father has his own blog and knows what's up with hiliary duff, but he doesn't dress like he's 26. okay, joe simpson wears better jeans than i do. this is a major problem. people are suppose to act their age or at least feel unbelievablely uncomfortable when they're not acting their age. joe simpson feels way too comfortable and relax in his skin. now for those who've been keeping score, you may remember this one script i want to write called the fudruckers about a rag tagged group of high school kids (freshmen) who are slightly over weight and wear hawaiian shirts who have to travel back in time in save spring break and i told people that the story would be a metaphor for obsesity in the youth of america. but now, i think i have a reason why the fudruckers would travel back in time to prevent joe simpson and ashlee simpson doing a concert at their school. i don't think i could get them to sign off on it, so i'll have to pull a sofia coppola and cast anna faris as a 'ashlee simpson' type or at least anna faris' younger sister.
here's the thing, i loved tony scott's domino. yes, i know it was completely over stylized and yes, it had that feel of being too cool for school, when it's only too cool for network television, and yes, the structure didn't make alot of sense, and yes, there were too many characters (which fits in the 'too cool' vibe), and yes, it's pretty lame that keira knightley used a body double. still in spite of all that, i was througly entertained. why do we go to the movies? to have a good time and with domino you definately have a good time. i think thighs said something about the cast is full of people you normally wouldn't like in a movie or haven't liked in movies in the past, but in this one, they're making you fall on the floor from laughing. like monique, i don't think she's funny at all, but she had cracking me up as if it was an episode of "arrested development" or something. and i'm not saying that i liked the film alot because a former professor of mine worked on it, i'm saying i liked it alot because it was high quality, well made fun filmmaking. you couldn't ask tony scott to make more of a tony scott film; it's the same way i felt about the island, its a perfect michael bay and domino is a perfect tony scott film; don't surprised to see it on my top ten list, probably tied with the island.
speaking of quality films, the trailer for matthew lessner's darling darling has gone on line. it stars michael cera aka george michael from "arrested..." and well, to talk about what's it about, sorta ruins the magic of it.
i'm rambling here, folks. this is the first post in a bit and it'll be the last one for a minute. so bear with the chaos and bear with the rambling.
anybody know who did the beat for "future thugs," that new redman song off of "we get busy vol. 4". yeah, everybody on the track is sorta blah, but ghostface sorta killed it. and we all know that the new ghostface record won't move 50 type of units, but can we get the new ghostface album like next week? dude is on fire as of late and i think we all know that the carter admistration will push back the album many times and like most of the stuff will be on mixtapes, so it won't be as interesting when it finally comes out. i mean, look at juelz santana's album, wasn't that suppose to come out in the summer? then in september, then in october and now, we're looking at november, which in tune, even though, completely different labels, has pushed back the release of the new cam album. so you know, let's get that ghostface record asap.
and finally, well not necessarily finally, but for the most part, we're getting to the home strentch. ready, okay! i'm embarrassed by orange county for 4 reasons:
-the angels. okay, what the fork happened? i've seen houses made of cards collapse more gracefully than the angels did in the last 4 games. vlad had his bat stolen, then caught the afraud flu where you sorta choke, then chone was nowhere to be found either. not to mention, there was no starting pitching. i'm not even going to bring up the infamous 'call,' except to say this, anybody else notice that there was no replay of that incident from the 'diamond cam'? rest of the series, tons of shots from the diamond cam, but when we truly could've used one, no where to be found. what's that you say? tainted title. i agree. i'm just gland i can finally shave off my playoff bread.
-nobody apperciates the dip set ramones paradoy t out here or at least the one place i wore it to. first off, how can people still being sleeping on the dips in this day and age, but at least, i thought i would've ran into one rap nerd who would've got the shirt, but its just sad.
-the crowd at the lcd soundsystem at the h.o.b. of anaheim (review by derek doi here). before i get any further, i must extend a gigantic thanks to mark from music for robots for tickets and such. good looking out and i owe you some brownies. so finally, james murphy was in the orange curtain and i wanted to impress him because how often is james murphy ever in orange county? but the crowd, the crowd, i dunno. it wasn't that they were young, because they weren't. they were old or at least normal age, its just that they didn't know how to dance or what to yell. now, i know it seems really douchey to say there are rules to rock, but i think there is. while i'm sure that goofus & gallant with their matching red exercise shorts and red bands tightly wrapped around their afros thought they were the coolest motherfuckers since oedipus, yet in reality, everybody hate them because nobody wants to worry about two doofuses who grinding against each other bumping into you while you're trying to enjoy the show. we paid 20 bucks to watch the band, two retards try to hump each other to "daft punk is playing at my house". and you know, sometimes want to dance by themselves, like myself. if i wanted to dance with people, i'd still be my friends, but instead, i'm upfront, billy idol status, so please don't attempt to pull me into your little dance crew. i can't explain it, but i was just really embarrassed and hope that james murphy and the rest of lcd soundsystem and the juan maclean doesn't assume that all of orange county is like that. we're sorta decent folks. although, there was one cool kid, who was like a mix of george michael from "arrested" and chase from "zoey 101" (btw, the new season is awesome) who was dancing to lcd soundsystem in slow motion. as for the lcd show & the drive in totals, i forgot the set list because it was a few days ago, but they opened with "yr city is a sucker," which was killer and there was no "jump into the fire," and there was one babe in the audience,
-the impression that we have the 909 or at least the impression tv, thanks in large to josh schwartz & "the oc", has given us of the 909. people, i went to the 909 this past weekend, to be specific, the chino hills area. while, chino hills is the upscale sister city of chino, its just as cookie cutter and generic as any piece of land you'd find in rancho santa margartia or landera ranch. everything look the same and all the streets have the same names or at least end in the same name; there's like a million streets that end with the word, 'ranch'. the difference between the 909 and rest of southern california is access to the beach. it takes a while to get to the beach from there and houses are dirt cheap. like a three bedroom little condo house out here could cost like half a million or at least has an asking price of half a million where as for that kind of money, you could buy like giant rap video party house out in the 909. the 909 isn't the home of dirt bags, well, actually it is, but it's also the home of cheap skates. people want to make every single dollar last and frankly, they don't mind slugging it out every morning on the 60 freeway to go to la or orange county to work at their job.