&t skeet on mischa: m.r.f.

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Nov 16, 2005


like in 10 years from now, when they do another movie about larry flynt, they should cast these two; vince vaughn is already there; the dude looks more like larry flynt than woody harrelson ever did, and well, dakota fanning will just be out of her awkward phase and probably at the start of her brittany murphy phase, but like reoccuring character on the tia and tamera mowry show era of brittany murphy and you know, she wants to be all edgy and in your face.

kroq's almost accoustic christmas line up; i dunno, i can't get excited about a bill boosting the sleepy tyme tea rhythms of jack johnson, death cab for cutie and coldplay. then there's hot hot heat and that'll just set off a flood gate of jokes about the blue lagoon cause the leader singer of hot hot heat besides being as happy as adam ridgley, 85 style, when he sings, has hair like the guy from the blue lagoon. then there's the bravery, which just embarrases everybody cause there was a point when that band was supposed to be good, but then, they turned out to be like the kids incoroprated version of moving units and then there's the mode, and well, they're the mode and let's not front people, we're all going to shouting for the classics, which is like, what, three or four songs. no new shit, just do "personal jesus" a few times and that song where they're like, 'that god has sick sense of humor.'

now, we all know i've never watched an episode of the show, "one tree hill," but if you watch an episode of trl, you'd think its the most important show since edward r murrow read the news. anyways, actually, last week, i got bits and pieces of the show, and i just felt incredibly bad for sophia bush. first, she's going through a divorce right now, which you know, is bad enough, but to make matters worse, the dude, she's getting a divorce from, is on the same tv show as she is; not to mention that the dude is the uber douche, chad michael murray. its one thing to work with that guy, but its another thing, to going through legal matters with that same lamey guy and have to act like a young couple in love on tv. sucks to be her and she's on a shitty show as well.

somebody should tell bruno about that the new hot trendy with celebrities, wearing fat suits and then crying on the shoulders of regular fat people. i guess, we're supposed to feel bad about ourselves because we're awful people because we laugh at fat people behind their backs, but its like, who cares. i already know that i'm an awful person, i don't need some super fox like vanessa minnillo to reenforce those feelings. we tune into stuff like 'et' to see footage of paris hilton trying to 'dance' at parties and maybe like behind the scenes footage of kelly monaco's maxim photoshoot, not vanessa minnillo in a fat suit. i know that it has to be some sorta fetish, like hot girls in fat suits, because, there's a group of sickos for everything, but it's 'et' isn't supposed to be hard hitting, it's fluff and the interviews are supposed to be like tie ball. not to mention, they're ruining the comedic aspects of the fat suits and honestly, bet that they're not talking about the weight loss benefit from wearing a fat suit. many moons ago, me and robin brown did a sketch for our public access show called, 'mass appeal: a magazine for hip hop's fattest fans,' outside of making references to 8ball and the fat boyz, the whole sketch was the two of us wearing fat suits made out of bubble wrap break dancing. peoples' pants split in half and it was sorta funny and i think we also went to wendy's in our make shift fat suits and you know what, people were laughing because they knew we were wearing fat suits. maybe, thats why people are laughing, cause some girl in a juicy sweat suit who also weighs 300 lbs is cruising by. i dunno, i just don't see alot of people actually owning designer sweat suits unless they're some trophy from newport, so maybe, people are too something fishy is going down and they're laughing at that.

i keep on talking about how i want to write a book and i think what prevents me from actually writing a book, besides, my laziness, is that i don't want to do all this work and research for nothing, you know. i need to see some dollar signs before i spend hours researching and emailing stuff to be proof read. yet, as i was waiting in line at chipotle, i thought of two things, one a better name for a book of my collective writing, 'my life as a mentally retarded female,' and two, there has to be chapater in the lunchtime crowd at chipolte. maybe your chipolte is different than mine, but to me, the lunchtime crowd at chipolte represents what's wrong with america. first off, you've got the shiftless folks like me who really have nowhere to go, but are very frustrated because it's taking so long and we're getting flashbacks to high school cause there's all these high school kids there and it just reenforces all those high school stereotypes and you're like, i still hate fucking jocks with their shaun white hair and their fucking spot in line. so you got the a&f, hollister kids who bring those bad memories of high school, then you have the other kind of high school kids, well, maybe this is just one type of person and i had the misfornate of them standing next to me in line, but anyways, next to you in line is some short kid who isn't wearing shelves and is playing a giantic screw. maybe, we'd label this type as the adhhad one, so we got the kids who look like rejects from the latest season 3 casting session for laguna beach having the time of their life in high school (but you're just mad at them because they called in their order, so they don't have to wait in line), and the adhhad kid with the screw, who decides to smash the screw into the tables and fixtures inside. and there's the other high school kids who are just complaining about the lines and how they have to get back to school in ten minutes cause their sixth period teacher isn't totally chill about tardies. here's the thing, we all know it'll take roughly 10 to 15 minutes to get a burritto at chipolte at noon, so why would you go to the place and complain about the place? yeah, i complain about the line, but that's because i have nowhere to go, and i have to be there as soon as humanly possible.

and i haven't figure out why the business people on their lunch breaks represent what's wrong with america, because really, there's nothing wrong with them. honestly, i completely understand what they're doing because nobody wants to go back to work and they're taking as long as humanly possible, but at the same time, when they're running late, they drive erraticaly. ah fuck it, i just hate everybody.

i think the one problem with the stern moving to siruis is that there's no west coast feed or at least from what i can tell from the angry west coast callers on the howard 100 bootlegs i've heard thus far. but, seriously, its a problem that sirius should quickly try to resolve because what's the point of making the move to sirius if the only time to hear howard out here is at 3 in the morning and the show is done by like 7 or 8 am? maybe, i'm just worrying about nothing and it'll all be fixed by january, but i'm just saying, its gonna be kinda lame. it's uncensored howard stern, but you have to be up by 5am to hear him when he's in the zone.

not to mention, if all of the cable providers are going to be offering the howard stern on demand channel. i have no clue and i'm probably leaning on the side of no, i probably won't get the stern on demand channel because we don't get showtime on demand, yet we got wwf on demand, which is weird enough.

we don't need another show about dancers unless, its like kelly monaco dancing or some body on that level of hotness. and more importantly, we don't need a show about people trying to become the next jennifer lopez. if you want to do a reality show about latinos, do one on the 14 year old mexican girls that wear platform shoes and have really long hair and sorta pass for 17. for as much as i love to watch the struggles of aspiring actors, there's just something blah about dancers, cause well, for most dancers, their biggest accomplishment is either knocking up a pop star, being a judge on a reality show who may have slept with one of the contestants or a big assed ego monster who wears white too often after labor day.

we also don't need a show about lisa loeb trying to jump start her career and love life. if anything, we need a show where somebody finds my copies of "illmatic" and the deep red soundtrack; there's a series in there somewhere, shit, if mtv aired twenty minutes of commercial free hot, sexy, packing away for college action, then could do a show about somebody finding a cd for me. i mean who would want to date lisa loeb anyways? we've all heard her song and it screams out, 'needy'. although, it'd be pretty funny if some guy whose kinda creepy and the date is going south, starts to sing, 'stay' to her, i'd laugh at that.

and finally, either shortly after this is posted or mid way through wednesday or into thursday morning, jennifer garner should have a baby and i say to that, finally. it seems like she's been preggers for as long as "alias" has been on the air. and sometime in 2010, katie holmes is due to give birth on the first child or at least when that happens, it'll feel that long.


At 4:19 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey i can't believe you didn't post something about mischa bartons nip slip last thursday!!! get the picture you bastard!

At 9:46 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder Vanessa Minnillo underwent a startling transformation for our cameras and went undercover on the streets of New York City as a 350-pound woman to get a reality check on the every day prejudices facing America's weight-challenged women.
Then, with the help of more than one person, Vanessa Minnillo donned the fat suit over a pair of jeans and over T-shirt to disguise as a 350-pound woman and needed assistance to get dressed, not to mention the effort required to tie her shoes. (When Vanessa tries on her fat suit, she arrival has worn her cap of the same color as her T-shirt which has been packed in the fat suit.)

You can watch video Vanessa makes the transformation [http://et.tv.yahoo.com/mf/frame?mfurl=lid=wmv-100-s.19414723,wmv-300-s.19414724,wmv-56-s.19414725&p=tv&c=p3&.skin=et&f=96141170&dist=Paramount%20Pictures,%20TM%20and%20c%20Paramount%20Pictures,%20All%20Rights%20Reserved.&fn=empty.html].


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