&t skeet on mischa: 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Jul 29, 2005

s.r.l. (skeet on mischa request live)

this one goes out to who you ever are...

okay, so you remember the show, "the adventures of pete & pete," of course you do. everybody remembers that show and has some degree of fondness for it in their heart. and you know, we picture the characters on that show looking that particular way or dressing in that particular manner forever and ever. so i think i speak for everybody when i say i was a bit freaked and weirded out when i saw the older pete a few years later in that one super bowl commercial looking a member of the humungus from the road warrior and later on in the jason schwartzman stalker comedy, slackers. what happened to dear old pete, you know? well, you see, this dude here and has taken his red head and turned into a look that so unbelievablely killer, he basically said, i'm going to become pete from pete & pete and i'm going to have a good time with it. i mean how many looks/styles can one craft while being a red head, especially a red headed male? you know, there's the ronald mcdonald, there's the soup bowl look made popular by sam on the later years of "diff'rent strokes," there's the carrot top look, which is mainly about having a perm and hitting the gym way too much, and then there's the pete & pete look, and frankly, the pete & pete look is so cool and non-threatening. girls are like, oh hey, he looks like pete from pete & pete. i loved that show and the rest is how we say is history.

i'll definately be back on tuesday morning. i figure i'll bring a notebook with me and i'll try to be clever and witty again.

Jul 28, 2005

dude, i'd hate to be steve aoki's friends this weekend.

he needs help moving stuff to the new dim mak offices.

if you got a big truck, hit him up my space steez

i'm just wondering if the cobra snake is going to be there, taking pictures of hipster carrying heavy boxes.

can they do cute poses while lifting with their knees and not their backs?

and btw, i smell a new business venture.

hipsters movers.

imagine girls like this showing up to your house, but you know with like cool back braces on. they wouldn't move as much as they would just hang around and ocassionally picking up the box that has like the phone in it.

anyways, folks, i'm dragging right now. probably had the worst night of my life last night and i'm struggling to find away to make fun of things and people. it's not that i don't want to do it, it just seem sorta pointless right now. hopefully things will get better in the next couple and i'll try to be on tuesday after my brief stopover in the home of starbucks.

Jul 27, 2005

confessions of a scoundrel


i never thought i would get to this point, but people, i'm actually missing school. for some reason, i'd rather be stuck on the 57 freeway instead of being at home watching p.t.i. and around the horn. you know instead of spending my day watching new movies, i'd rather sit in an uncomfortable plastic chair and watch citizen kane again in all of its overrated glory. i don't know why but i guess my father said it best when he said i needed to be back on the grind.

i'm getting lazy and spending far too much monkeying around with bit torrents, looking for episodes of arrested development. i'm mispelling things left and right. run on sentences. well, wait, that's always been there, but you know, now i have an excuse. it's just like i need some sort of structure in my life in order to be successful.

instead of being a personal assitant, maybe i need a personal assitant. could they instill a sense of structure to my life other than waking up in time to hear the news on howard stern each morning?


saw hustle & flow the other day; terrance howard is great, but the thing felt like a lifetime movie to me. i don't know why but it just felt like a tv movie. you know, after every real big dramatic moment in the film, it fades out.

i will say this though, terrance howard is more believable as a rapper than 50 in his movie.


btw, have you seen trailer for 50's movie yet? i've seen it two days in a row and i can't help wonder what jim sherdian's mylanta bill looks like? or was dude blinded by the paycheck?

i just can't see how jim sherdian went from such a good film like in america to directing a scene like this. i apperciate the need to cash in and get a paycheck, but it just doesn't feel right.

i'm just wondering if ricky gervais is gonna do a movie about dizzee rascal.


speaking of ricky gervais, anybody seen extras? i heard it's not as good as "the office," but i think when they do the american remake of the series, they should only try to get one person to be the american version of ricky gervais and that person is bill murray. i don't think he'll be afforable for tv, but i think he's the only other actor out there that could do justice to a gervais/merchant created character or at least, they should an episode for him to do.

just think about it for a minute.


and if you couldn't tell, jessica biel can't dance.


i'm going up to seattle for the weekend. nothing major, just a wedding. but i was wondering if there any cool spots i should hit up while i'm there. i assume that the house where the blood brothers live is a historical landmark or at least, i'll be able to run into andrea from pretty girls make graves while i'm in town, right. you thought i was gonna make a bunch of nirvana jokes there.

Jul 26, 2005

tito's way

if you haven't heard it already, i highly suggest checking out the juan maclean player, skip right over to track 4 and get the party started post haste. the album hits the states in a couple.

motely crue is in town today. wonder if i should cruise over and play "tito's way" and get the party started with tommy & the boys. they're at the meadows tonight and i'm probably gonna leave here in a couple to catch hustle & flow at the spectrum, which is basically right across the street from the meadows, so i'm wondering, well, i run into the crue while i'm at jamba or something. will the guys who aren't dating that avril girl in sum41 be at the urban outfitters trying to get free clothes because they're the guys from sum41, even though, they would have better luck at hot topic, but how many napoleon bonerapart shirts can one man have?

michael bay shouldn't be so upset about the failure of the island; he should only look at the positives of the situation, like the product placement in the film. while not being extremely subtle as in other films, but not at the same time as ironic as david fincher in fight club, bay's product placement was brilliant and hilarious. so don't be too hard on yourself, michael bay.

anybody else notice that the article on aicn on problems with the upcoming transformers movie michael bay is directing just disappeared?

and if you have a picture of cameron giles on your myspace profile, you're gonna get alot of friend requests from goofy white girls. just letting you know in advance.


chris parnell finally got the memo that said he hasn't made anybody laugh in past 5 years unless he's merv the perv. anybody else get really mad at the guy who was voted class clown of their high school in senior year? i remember the guy who won it at our school and he wasn't funny at all. he was just really big and loud and could do a wicked impression of ace ventura. i guess the student population didn't find it funny when i wore name tags with the names of famous people written on them.

story of a prostitue


i'm sure we've all had the feeling of that we're being followed by somebody one point or another in our driving career or we're making somebody else comfortable because they think we're following them. okay, so i'm leaving the movies after the devil's rejects and i'm listening to some goblin and i check my rearview mirror and i see a hearse right behind me. so i just finished watching a horror movie and i'm listening to scary movie music and i got a hearse slowly trailing behind me. for a minute, i thought i was in the movie, phantasm and the tall man was pop up at the next light, screaming, "boy!" i mean to be stalked by hearse is beyond creepy; you're justified to run a few red lights or at least thats what all the horror movies i've seen told me. i lost the hearst, but i didn't see where it went. it just sorta disappeared.

as for the devil's rejects, i liked it, quite a bit, actually. the film is violent, but i wouldn't say it's as shocking and distrubing as critics are saying; shocking & distrubing is miike's audition (avaiable on august 23rd on dvd). i just wonder one thing, did rob zombie use slow motion only to make the film longer? the film has a nice length, a decent length, but in parts, he over did the slow motion and freeze frames. it just seems like, ah fuck, the film is like 89 minutes long, well, why don't we slow mo here and do a bunch of freeze frames up front.

i think i was right about the new season of "laguna beach". yeah, kirstin is still fun to watch, but her friends, jessica & alex h are as dull as well, me. while at first, i thought that the new oily bohunk, jason was james caan's son, scott caan, but i just believe he's a long lost federline, dirt bagging it, south coast plaza steez and i'm just saying that these kids are sorta boring and i don't know if it was smart of me to set my fall class schedule around watching this show. i mean, up the casey factor. she's interesting. she's got fake hair, probably on trek to get fake boobs and a giant house. if i were to play the laguna beach drinking game, where i took a drink even time, a girl said something stupid, i'd be drunk in about 4 minutes if the focus was on casey. and kirsten's rivals seem more entertaining or at least, i greatly admire their ablity to drop money on shoes.

i always seem to say that i'm out on show after a couple of episodes, but i think i really mean it with laguna beach, if the show continues to be about kirsten's boring b.f.e.s and how her federline-esque boyfriend fucks around on her. dude, he looks like k.fed, so you know, he's sorta sketchy. i can deal with the puppy dog eyes of l.c. whenever she's around with stephen, but i just can't deal with boring people on tv.

but probably the best part of the premiere of "laguna beach" was the trailer for the second season of my super sweet 16. holy shit! insanely self centered bratty girls dropping money like they were michael jackson in a tacky statue store in vegas. yet, with the new corp of kids, i think they're over doing the bitchyness of the situation, just so they could be on tv. how geninue is their assholery or these kids just about as good as the kids on an episode of "fight for fame"? i also like that l.b. and sweet 16 are on the same night, but let's just hope l.b. gets more interesting.

first, there was the road rules/real world challenges, then the surreal life, and we have bravo's battle of the network reality tv stars and e!'s kill reality. why can't there be a show called, former reality tv shows all jump off a cliff together because somebody told them there's a camera crew at the bottom?

pharrell of the neptunes is gonna produce a movie version of "voltron"; here's the thing, why doesn't pharrell solve the clipse label drama before tackling a big budget movie that with have costumes designed by nigo

somebody is telling a really funny story or do an outstanding impression of james van der beek in varsity blues


and finally, i've been going to the movies quite a bit lately and it's only made me wish that i was rich enough to have my own movie theater. i slow too early to movies, get the best seat and wait and wait and wait for my theater going experince to be ulimately ruin by some woman behind me who came in about 10 minutes before the film starts and proceeds to clear her throat throughout the whole film as well as make noises at each moment of tension or action in the film. or i'll have my feet up on the seat in front for the whole time, but then a couple will snake in and take away my foot rest and shoot dirty looks when my sneaker slightly nudges their seat.

honestly, the photo above is my only moment of happiness at the movies cause for some reason, the optimism instilled in me by jenny lewis, wants me to believe that in from 40 minutes now, the theater will remain empty and it'll just be me. sure, i could get a nice home theater set up, but that shit is expensive. you know, why not drop 10 bucks every now and then instead of making debts on the old credit card. so in a perfect world and when i'm rich and famous, i'll own my movie theater. it won't be a vanity, let's give back to the community thing like magic johnson's theater, it'd be more like the arclight, but only reasonable. you won't have to take a student loan to go there.

but i know what you're saying, but, doug, you hate people and right now, it sounds like your movie theater is open to the public.

this is true, but only because it needs to make a profit, but here's the advantage, basically, any time i wanted to see a movie that we were screening (i'd get an 10plex; 8 screens of current releases and 2 decidated to revivals), i'd close a particular screening off to the public. so it would be me, all alone watching the island for the second time or whatevs. i don't know why but i can just see myself being so unbelievabley happy doing that. running a movie theater and booking midnight movies and being upset briefly that nobody came out to watch scanners, but then i'd just watch the movie myself and probably fall asleep during it again.

jeeper creepers, g5s make whatever rooms they're in very hot. not because they're cool computers or anything. i think there's a potential weight loss craze there. dropping the lbs with g5s. its like a technologic shauna

Jul 25, 2005

maggie's farm

i'm looking over the list of nominees for the mtv videos and i'm wondering why do people, well, mtv have tunnel vision when it comes to missy elliott.

the video for "loose control" is awful, say for one shot and there's nothing 'breakthrough' about it. it's just another video with awful editing. you can totally see ciara wearing sneakers during the old timey dance sequence. it seems people, well mainstream critics just do backflips when missy elliott does anything, but the thing is she's rather inconsistent. she's about as consistent as i am when comes to funny things to say. on her albums, there's maybe like one or two songs and the rest of a bunch of clunkers with awkward cameos for the latest mostest popularest rapper of the moment. her stuff, quite often is a waste of a halfway decent timbaland beat (apparently, timbo is dropping the lbs). so i don't understand this tunnel vision about her work.

yeah, "gossip folks" is a great track, but did you rest of the album more than once? probably not.

and i know, it's so pointless to complain about mtv in the first place because we all know that its gonna suck.

does anybody else feel out of the world's loop because they don't know who or how jesse mccarthey became famous? i went to the movies the other day and i'll probably see the ad again when i go to the movies later today, but there's an ad for concert with him playing and i feel like i should know who he is, but i don't and its really bothering me that i don't know. he must be famous for something because he got punk'd and i guess he was on a wb show because i saw a clip of it on the soup, but i mean, there's tons of people on the wb who aren't famous enough to get punk'd, let alone recongize at the supermarket. so can anybody help me out here?

dark horizons has news on sofia coppola's latest. i admire that she says her film will not be historically accurate, but i'm just worried that marie antoinette will talk to louis xiv about how there's an awful band named after him and if he wants to cruise around france, taking pictures of old door knobs.

gate of flesh


its amazing how losing 200 lbs of greasy trust fund baby can do you for your general disposition; not for nothing, but mischa b looks kinda killer these days and can you imagine the fun that these two are having together? it's probably on par with the first time you ever listened to "enter the wu tang (36 chambers)" by wu tang or at least the first time in a couple of years. mischa b should be the subject of a reality show or at least a special. why can't we get diary of mischa b? you know, young, sexy, rich and full of coke. i'm sorry thats infintely more interesting than shakira doing press junkets in columbia. or why can't mischa b be the new bachelorette and instead of dating a bunch of dudes who work out too much from like the midwest, her pool of potential beaus should come from the industry; like aspiring actors and out of workers and like agents and young producers and like musicians. to me, that would be exciting tv, you know mischa b out on a date with some young & restlesser. [photo via rachel-bilson(dot)com]

and on the real, if you haven't listened to "enter the wu tang (36 chambers)" in a while, do so, but start at the end, with "7th chamber part 2" and you'll realize why they were never ever able to top that.

seriously, i'm running out of ideas for babe of the week, so if you got any suggestions, drop a line

paulthomasanderson.com confirms pt anderson working on the new altman film and puts to rest my worries that pta is still with fiona apple; he's not and he knocked maya rudolph, so there you go


i'm sorry, but honestly, my favorite movie i've seen all year has to be michael bay's the island. now hear me out, it's everything you could want from a summer movie. it's got sexy people, car chases and big explosions. but here's the kicker, while at first, the island plays out like an interesting, steriods injected of lucas' technically brilliant, but still a snoozer thx 1138, it's the second half, that's more entertaining and interesting because it plays like one big homage to wong kar wai, fallen angels era wkw. the film even has jump cuts, honestly when have you seen jump cuts in a summer tentpole film? and the cinematography? its breathtaking. mauro fiore deserves an award for his work and seriously, him and michael bay should stick together as a team and become the big budgeted version of wkw/doyle.

and you know, everybody, well let me rephrase, all the lamey girls on "date my mom" tell their moms to tell the guy that she has a j.lo booty when they're about as flat as a stack of paper plates and the lamey dude gets excited about j.lo booty. well, here's the thing the days of being stoked on a j.lo booty are over, it's all about scarlett johansson booty nowadays. sure, we all noticed it in lost in translation, but in the island, it finally becomes a super star. maybe, it's the white pants, but that things is way, way, way, way, way, outta control. so if you wanna impress me when i'm on date my mom, say that you look like scarlett johansson.

speaking of wkw, anybody read the la times article on him? his next film will the one with nicole kidman. good piece. but you know what sucks? robert hilburn's piece on record execs having boners for usher & alicia keys; what dude loves usher?

why did they blur out paul wall's 'free pimp c,' shirt in the "sittin' sidewayz," video? what's so bad about that? i can understand blurring out nike logos and what not, but at the same time, they should blur out in 50 in all of his videos because aren't they just one big comercial from g-unit sneakers in the first place?

new mixtape from capo status, the one eyed willy of the dip set, jim jones; any good?


mary elizabeth winstead didn't know what to do when dealing with the paparazzi, so she just posed as if she was in the bathroom taking a picture for her myspace profile.

why can't the people who bug me to sign petentions look this? in my case, i get some dude whose probably getting paid money to ask kids on campus to sign it and they don't even tell what you're signing, they're just like sign this, it's for like making professors more easily fired or something and after the first thing you sign, they sneak in, twenty more things, so in theory, you could be contradicting yourself; you signed one petention, but voted the other way. or the complete opposite happens with petentions, like some extremist guy will be doing them and yell at people, like vicously yell at people to sign them. they'll scream, "oh, so you don't like firemen? and you don't care about them?" and the guy's table right near a parking lot, so he had extra ammuninton; he would say, "sure, i'd love to go home and get high, but i just care too much abot fire figthers' right." basically, i signed the petention only because i was fearful for my own life. but you see this girl, she'll probably cruise up, asking if you want to and if you said no, she'd be like whatevs, but since she's killer, dudes will sign just about anything to get on her good side. you know there's that stigma that if i sign it, maybe she'll go out with me, but has it ever worked?

this past weekend, the angels played the yankees at home and at times, the yankee fans could be heard chanting "let's go yankees" over the angels fan. and if you ever run into somebody whose from new york living out here, they'll go off about how much they hate living out here. so my thing is, why are out here in the first place? why aren't you back in new york or new jersey or whenever, you know? there has to be something that attracted you to the west coast and made you stay out here for a while. and you can't say the weather because you could go to flordia and get the same weather, if not better weather down there. and you can't say that your job brought out here because if you really loved thing out there, then you'd find another job that would allow you to stay out there.

all i'm saying is that you can afford to move out here, then you can probably afford to move back. i believe that you have to earn your rights to complain about a city. if you're born in la, then you automatically have the rights to complain about it, but you know, if you've only been here 6 months, you can't complain. you gotta earn your stripes. i mean, like if i went to nyc, i wouldn't complain, not because i can't find a thing to complain, honestly, i can complain about anything, um, hello, you've read this mess, so you know i can complain about anything, but my point is, that i can't complain because i haven't been in the city for a while. although, it should be noted, while i hate the freeways and streets of the greater l.a. area, i seem to love it because all the girls give me compliments.

and speaking of the angels/yankees series, if i went to any of those games, i would've probably gotten arrested. not because of fighting with a yankees fan or for throwing things at derek jeter & afraud, but for spilling a beer on kobe bryant. if i sat behind him, the whole game i would've talked about how much the lakers sucked last season and how the new center who looks like the guy good burger won't do shit. actually, no i wouldn't do it, but i'd think about it. and i'd seriously consider making noises at kobe's wife whenever she walked by or at least, i hope that one of my loud mouth, drunken shirtless brothers from the o.c. did that, but probably one of the parents of the kids from mtv's "laguna beach" sat near kobe and said something, good luck next season.

and once again speaking of laguna beach, mtv's laguna beach is back tonight. while i'm excited about the show's return, i'm extremely disapointed that my favorite cast member from the first season, lo isn't back. i assume that drama between kirstin's party crew and the other popular girls crew will be good, but you know, are these girls going to have clever and cute one liners like lo did? how classic was the line, "doesn't my phone know i need to make a call?" or remember when lo told l.c. shouldn't be failing high school, classic. but these new girls, i dunno. it just seems all they want to talk about is how they're fighting with this set of girls and how they think this one guy is cute; it's like when me and my friend, mark hang out, cept all we talk about is like alejandro jodorowsky, dario argento and comic books.

on the topic of comic books, anybody know of any good comics to read? like cool indie comics to read? cause sadly, the only thing i'm capable of reading outside of blogs and the journals of various suicide girls, is comic books. the problem is like, i can read the whole thing, being graphic novels in like three hours, so i need something lengthy and cool.

busdriver made it on to cobra snake; he's totally blowing up. first, a lunch time concert at fullerton, now this, what's next? a star on the walk of fame next to ryan seacrest?

and finally, today marks the second full week of a new era for the howard stern show, the e! show less era. i got into the show through the e! show when i was in junior high, but you know, without the e! show, what's the point of the show anymore? i know stern is spinning wheels until january and the move to sirius, but the show pretty much has become let's have sal the stockbroker and richard christy come in and gay off or they bring in some horrible comic in for the news. last week, they had in carlos menica, whose style of comedy is basically yelling and at the end of it, he'll say something about hope you weren't offended or i can't wait to see the hate mail or the dude says the hate mail/offensive business way up in front in his act/show; here's the thing, if you tell people it's going to be controversay and shocking and offensive, for me, it totally negates it actually being offensive and shocking. you know, if comics like carlos menica are going to become regulars on the sirius version of stern, then i probably won't be switching over and honestly, the la replacement for stern, adam carolla sounds like it actually will be funny.

i wish they would take off stern now, you know let him do his bullshit week of farewell shows, but bring out the replacements, so we the audience can figure out if we wanna drop money on sirius or stick it out with the new guys.

Jul 22, 2005

for those who be wearing fanny packs...

i don't watch "entourage" even though i had a let's hug it out reference the other day.

like the catch phrase.

but anyways, road rules angelra aka angela trimbur was on the show recently.

and she wasn't wearing any clothes.

and i've been getting alot hits from "angela trimbur naked" or "angela trimbur nude" or "angela trimbur topless" off of google

well here you go dude, click here(nsfw) [via uncle grambo]

umm, don't about my status for next week; probably busting out the old laptop as i just noticed a loose wire inside the new computer. so i'll be on the phone with apple care shortly. [edit note: it was just the airport connecter cable and i deleted all the bad stuff for nothing]

have a good weekend!

and if you haven't already, read the post of the year by the thigh master

Jul 21, 2005

freelove freeway

it should noted that i'm still working out the kinks of new my computer set up. i don't really like the room that i'm writing in that much. so i'm learning to like it. love the computer, just not the location.

so i'm a bit hestiant to write something; so i just sit around watching "the office" instead. which also could be consider prep work for a class of mine next semester. i'm taking a sitcom writing class and i'm just wondering, do we write our own sitcom pilot script or do we write an episode of a pre establish sitcom that could potentially be sent out as a spec script. and what else do we do? is the homework, watch "seinfeld" and "arrested development" ?

if we get to write our own thing, i think i'm gonna write a sitcom about a guy who lives in la and takes pictures of people at parties. not too terriblely orignial, but you know, it's a start. or what if i have to write an episode of like "will & grace"? or what if we have to watch "everybody loves raymond"? ugh. you know, i tried to watch that show numerous time and all i got was the same episode each time.

um, hopefully, y'all got the email the other day about bloc party and m.i.a. coming back to town. bloc party at the palladuim goes on sale today, but remember, kroq sponsors bloc party shows nowadays. so if you want to dance to the tunes, watch out for elbows from dudes in incubus hoodies.

and m.i.a. is rocktober 4th at the fonda. bigger venue, but i'm not sure she was the reason why the el rey was sold out last time around. i think my man, james murphy had a little something to do with that.

dudes, i gotta take back what i said about mtv's the 70s show. it's not half bad and the girls sorta make up for the half that's bad. holla at linda

and on the real, mtv needs to 'bottle rocket' their shit up a bit. not all of the world uses p.c.s and it's not the end of the world if people link to a person's bio from one of your numerous reality shows or heaven forbid, saves a picture onto their hard drive. and ps. real media blows.

i know that everybody including me is getting hip to the houston scene these days, but i'm still unclear about what the term, "chuckin' a deuce" means. i heard paul wall say something about it, but when i hear chuckin' a deuce, i'm thinking about when i throw a baggie filled with dog business into the trash can; not sayin' hey to my buddies on the corner.

my favorite video these days is natasha bedingfield's "these words," but that pussycat dolls' one is a close second. does anybody watch that video and think about jonathan antin off camera getting upset that the girls are wearing hats and hoodies and messing up his beautiful hair creations or we all just distracted by the tummy of that one girl from eden's crush?

speaking of jonathan antin, i have to say the would be rock stars of cbs' rock star are more ego manical than jonathan antin. yet the reason to watch the show is to see the world's first living successful robot in action, brooke burke. i mean listen to the way she speaks, there's no pauses. there's no emotion, there's no passion, it's just weird. i honestly would love to see a reality show about brooke burke. i need to know if she's capable of emotions. like how does she interact with her children?

the other thing that's bizzare about the show is inxs themselves. can anybody explain to me, why men who are probably old enough to be my father are dressed like justin timberlake from the "like i love you" video that came out two years ago. this is the curse of the stylist. if anything, the whole show is a one big statement against stylists in general. everybody on this show dresses like an australian's nightmare or a wealthy russian.

it seems a rather easy job to be a stylist. you're paid by someone who is so self concious of how they look and dress, that you could basically dress somebody up in mickey mouse pants and say it's hot shit. i mean, you could buy everything from the salavation army and save the rest for a flat screen tv. it's such a racket.

and finally, i'm pretty upset about jude law cheating on siena miller. not because infidelity isn't a cool thing, but because i try to get my haircut like jude law's on ocassion and i don't want to have the haircut of a cheater or as mike binder would say, a sex monster. wonder if eric benet sent over a note, yet.

Jul 20, 2005

i gotta register for classes today.

so i'm a bit nervous.

see ya tomorrow.

Jul 19, 2005

the conclusion of our thrilling saga

in case, anybody actually cared...

the electrician came. fixed the thing.

after that, i went to the mall, bought federline style shorts and had a conversation with somebody about the tv show, "laguna beach". maybe it's just if you live out here thing, but depending on where you buy it, you may hear a story from the person behind the register about how they went to high school with those kids.

usually, it's all negative. they were stupid in high school, so i assumed that their show was just as stupid.

the weird thing, i would've pretended to be their friend in high school, just so i could get on tv and hang out with like lindsay lohan and get free drinks from myspace groupies.

but whatevs.

did y'all see that uncle grambo is back for a bit? how good is that?

and how good is that pt anderson is ghost directing the new altman film [via goldenfiddle]. let's just hope that is the step in the right direction for my man, pt anderson. first, he's ghost directing, then maybe, hopefully, he's off the cocaine rodeo, then maybe, he's donzo with fiona apple, then maybe, just maybe, he'll make that period piece film with daniel day lewis. seriously, what the film world needs more than anything is a new paul thomas anderson film. it's good we're getting a new cameron crowe film, but we sure could use a paul thomas anderson one.

apparently, the electrician is in route to my home and should be here within the next 15 to 20 minutes, but i'm not giving it too much hope. i meaen i've already started watching "the office" again.

and what i'm noticing is how much better it is compared to the american version. i mean like leaps & bounds better, but for some reason, i like steve carell more.

tom leykis steez

in case you were wondering, as of right now, the electrician is roughly 90 minutes late and when i called the place; they hung up on me and attempted to schedule me for an appointment for tomorrow morning.

uf.

wrong 'em, boyo

it's safe to say that we all hate jamster or at least hate their commercials. but these dudes have taken their awful commericals too far. to have the audicity to say that cassidy turned a jay-z line into a hot song. sure, when we all hear cassidy say that in the song, we can't stop ourselves from giggling, but what gives the right for the jamster guy to say cassidy made it a hot jam.

sometimes, i find it difficult to write about things only because i have nothin really to say. i just don't know how exciting or interesting it is to talk about sitting on a couch for three hours watching "the office" the other night and the problems that come with using laura scutter's old time peanut butter to help give my dog her medicine and all the while, i'm waiting for a electrician to show up.

anybody ever see that episode of letterman where he taped from his house because he was waiting for the cable guy to show up?

Jul 18, 2005

let's hug it out part 2


at the tail end of "let's hug it out" (pt.1), i mentioned the rather ludacris thing known as parking in downtown san diego. this is another reason why i should become replacement mayor of that hell hole. my first act as mayor of san diego would be to remove all the cool people and cool stores and the convention center from the city. then my second act as mayor would be to blow up the rest of the city.

outside of cameron crowe, what good has the city of san diego give to the world? i'm honestly asking you what good has come out of that town? who really wants to live in a city that charges people 26 bucks to park in a structure for 4 hours. for 26 bucks, i'm hoping its valvet parking and i get it washed & waxed as well. that fee is on par with a semester long parking pass at most junior colleges.

not to mention, the whole structure smells like a toliet and since it's the summer time, you have no jacket or extra shelve length to use to cover up your hands while walking down the stairs. god knows what other treasures that could be found in the elevators.

so a word to the wise, if you ever have to go to san diego for some god forsaken reason, avoid horton plaza like the plague. and seriously, if you're a dude and you just met a girl you like or recently started dating and you like the way things are going, watch out, she'll probably end up moving to san diego in two weeks. it's where romantic interludes go to die.

while i was in hell diego, i went to the comic con and i didn't see any famous people like naomii watts and natalie portman. the most famous person i saw there probably was the black guy from the orignial dawn of the dead and the guy who played r2d2. and there was a playmate as well, but i've already seen a playmate in real life. seven in fact (hef's hoe train in the early 2000s and i got to be a lighting stand in for one of them). i don't know what this says about me but i was more into finding bootleg movies than i was oogling a playmate. you know, do i check out this copy of blade runner with narration and the happy ending or do i go over and look at fake boobies in person?

but the weird thing about the whole thing was that nobody went over there. dudes were stoked on the girl dressed kinda like princess leia from return of the jedi wandering around. or maybe they weren't having it because it costed a pretty penny to have a photo with her where as princess leia girl is for free.


what's going on at trl these dadys?

has anybody seen the video for olivia's "twist it", yet? umm, 50 is on some rick james in the video for eddie murphy's "she wants to party all the time". i mean the game could take all the pot shots at g-unit he wants, but this video does more damage to g-unit than any 18 minute repeative diss record could. why is lloyd banks doing choregraphed dance moves? is m.o.p. going to have dance in their videos now since they're on g-unit? btw, what's up with the ultra protective big brother videos these days? there's that teairra marĂ­ where she's just walking around and like freeway pops out of nowhere and yells at some dude whose trying to talk to her. i understand that these girls are the first female singers on their respective labels, but you have to help them establish their own identity as an artist.

i have little social skills. not because i stay inside my house all day and only leave to go to tommy's or something like that. it's just that i don't have anything to talk about with normal, regular people. now, i can't see myself carrying a conversation with these girls because all i would want to talk about is the movie, el topo or like dario argento's opera. you know nobody has seen these movies and frankly, it's the fucked up way i judge people. i don't judge you on your looks (although, some may consider me a bit of a lookist) or on your personality, but it's on the movies you watch. so either more 'obscure' movies have to become widely avaiable or i have to rethink what exactly i look for in a person

please add opera to your netflix list and make life much easier for me. seriously, the movie makes no sense whatsoever, but it's really awesome.

i believe i stated before that the reason why everybody hates upon l.a. is because there's only three lanes on its busiest freeway, the 5. but i have discovered another reason why people hate upon l.a., while it may appear to be three lanes on any given street, but actually, there's only two. sure, i live in the orange curtain, so i'm used to a couple of lanes on each side of the road. the far right lane, paritculary on the westside, is used primarily for parking and fed ex trucks making deleveries. there are signs that say no stopping, but that doesn't stop big brown for parking in the middle road so somebody could get their copy of the half blood prince. while there are only two lanes on any given street, at least parking structures are reasonable in la. only 4.50 at the one across the street from amoeba. still alot, but in comparsion to 26 bucks, it's like a free hand job from alessandra ambrassio.

sir bob geldof got nominated for the nobel prize for organizing live8, but shouldn't by the same defination, the fine folks at goldenvoice get nominated for organizing coachella each year? i mean, if you slap on some political meaning behind the show, it's the same thing. i respect the significance and meaning of the live8 concerts, i just don't get bob geldof and why he's the crucical figure in a movement.


seriously, do they even tell the vjs that they're on the air anymore? or as on air flirting gonna into some bizzaro world where somebody as outta hand as vannessa manillo is trying to get at somebody as crazy as billy bob thornton?

now, i must tell you a tale about seeing charlie & the chocolate factory the other night on the imax screen. btw, i liked the film; thought it was better than the one from the 70s but they are two completely different films. for some reason, i always manage to sit near weird people at the movies or they sit near me. so, it's the midnight showing on thursday night and the crowd is mostly young people with some small children here and there. which only makes sense. so the party crew next to me starts up a conversation about oral sex. i sorta zoning out on the details of their conversation because i don't want to picture the members of this particular party crew without their pants on; you know, i was thinking about el topo. i assume that the convo got a bit raunchy or at least raunchy enough for a woman in the row in front to ask them to stop because her 5 year old daugther doesn't need to hear that. apparently, this pissed off the guy next to me, who happened to be right behind the woman who told them to stop talking, that he for probably ten minutes slammed a water bottle in a large tub of popcorn he was holding inbetween his legs.

yes, its a kids movie, but at the same time, what is a kid doing a midnight movie? i've been to many a midnight movie where i fell asleep during it; so wouldn't one assume that there's a great chance that a 5 year old would fall asleep as well?

(editor's note: updates will probably becoming a later times in the day as opposed to early in the morning)

let's hug it out


apparently, somebody told jessica alba about the vehicle i'm trying to write for her over the next couple of weeks or she ate too much british food or she's still not over the highway robbery known as parking in downtown san diego.

more later today...

Jul 13, 2005

a quick one while he's away...

before i head off for comi-con & amoeba music for the next couple of days....


apparently evangeline lilly and that hobbit guy have gotten to the point in their relationship where they act like catherine o'hara & fred willard in waiting for guffman; you know a bad actor couple who only want to do projects together.


then there's this croc hunter over here whose holding onto evangeline lilly for dear life. maybe he think she's kelly monaco (i pronuce it, monknoco). i always wonder why guys glutch so tightly onto women they don't know or never will get in a million years. wait, i just answered my own question; it's the closet dudes will ever get to somebody of such a high caliber of outta controllness.

a lil nsfw anne hathaway action for y'all

anybody know if the rest of that new ladytron album is going to be as good as the single, "destroy everything you touch" (listen here) ? cause that song is killer. weird thing about ladytron, i saw one of the girls dj at club bang (i can't explain why i was there either) and she cleared the dancefloor in about 15 minutes.

and i'm out. cross your fingers that i find dario argento movie posters at the con.

and if you haven't already listen to "hope" by automato.

soda pop smash

as some of you may have noticed with the old computer, from time to time, a key on the keyboard would stick, so ocassional, a word would be missing an 's' or you know, 't'. and with the new computer, new problems arise, the mouse sorta sticks. or maybe it's just me not being used to it. all of these modern machines surround me, i still use a britney spears sticker as a coaster.

i'm not sure if this applies to anybody but writers, but you know whatever. i like to think of myself as writer, even though i can't haven't really got paid for anything yet nor had anything published. you know that song, "dem boyz" by boyz n da hood? it's nothing ground breaking, but i like it's the only song out there right now that i can honestly relate to. in "dem boyz," they're talking about how they're always on the block clockin' and trying to make money. and as a writer, it's like, yeah, i understand because i'm always writing. you know stuck in traffic, i'm thinking of storylines and funny things to write about (although, i can just see the comments from the peanut gallery about this one); so it's like i'm always clockin'. you know as writers, we're either hustling for paychecks or As on things we write. i'm not sure if we, being writers are at the point where it's if we don't write, we don't eat. i don't think as writers, we could reach that point because there's bound to be jobs avaiable at borders or barnes & nobles or gigs as substitue english teachers at some high school. i mean, writers and rappers on the grind, not really that different. sure, rappers drive nice cars where as writers hang out in starbucks and perfectly plan out the trips up to the counter, so they could be behind the x_hardcore_x girl wearing a baggy pair of dickies and getting excited over a lower back tattoo.

does anybody know why the new crop of reality shows are either about horrible celebrity parents or tattoo palors? is that going to be interesting enough to watch for 45 minutes? sure on paper, "blow out" doesn't sound too exciting, but jonathan antin is such an ego tripper that he makes things interesting every week. does the tattoo industry have a jonathan antin? sure, every industry has their people who take want they do way too seriously.

i don't know why but this photo makes me want to have a drink. i always find excuses as to why i can't drink. oh, i gotta get up early tomorrow morning so i can go to comi-con or it's like the first sign of alcoholism is drinking by yourself or i gotta drive home. here, drinking is presented as a grand old time. get a brew, strike up a cool conversation about me and you and everybody we know is now your favorite movie of all time and just relax for a change. i need a drinking buddy or at least somebody whose willing to drive for a change.

umm, sorry, no updates tomorrow. getting up way too early in order to attend the first day of the san diego comic con. yeah, i won't be there for anything cool, but you know, gotta go.

Jul 12, 2005

home sweet home

first and foremost, i must extended an apologzie for me slipping the past couple of days without posting anything. i needed a bit of decompression from writing this treatment for my summer class and i've been busy tinkering around with my new G5 as well. it's so postmodern and cool and sterile. i can already see a giant coaster stain on top of it.


for a while, i used to be up on my shit with the new bands in the la scene. i was the asshole that was like, 'oh yeah, i saw such and such band openning with the moving units at the smell' or you know something of that nature. i used to be in the know, but nowadays, all i know about is killa cam's new chain that has a motor in it, so it can spin and how during the bet awards, all of houston came out for "still tippin'". i'm not necessarily asking myself what happened, but am i asking, what's the deal with she wants revenge? it just seems like these guys popped out of nowhere with a half way decent tune and a bunch of arrogant press releases stating how they grew up listening to the smiths and prince and how they're not a phoney nu wave band that got singed because they sound sorta like the killers and interpol. i mean i want to like this band; i sorta like the single thats getting some spins from my man, nic hardcourt on kcrw, but you know, i just want to say this, is this band going to be a cool band that sounds like a cross between the kills and the killers or is it going to be a cross between the bravery and louis xiv? i mean, they're already on that louis xiv path; they do have some cute girls in their video. i just need to know if these guys played a few shows before getting signed to geffen records or did jordan schur create them in a lab?

man, that argument me and robin brown got into a year ago in a foot locker while looking at g-unit sneakers about corporate indie rock was sorta spot on. he was right, i was wrong.

speaking about slow things, i have to say that the music writers for the la times are about as slow as moslases when it comes to the next big things in music. like two weeks, they were writing about mp3 blogs. i thought that was common knowledge already, then like a week before that, they were still writing about the new crop of british bands like bloc party, kasabian, kasier chiefs, and yadda yadda. i don't know about you, but frankly, i'm sick of british bands unless it's bloc party or kano (but more on kano in a minute). who gives a fuck about kaiser chiefs, one single and they're done. who really cares if kasabian has a future? do you know anybody who bought their album? me either. i downloaded their song when it was a free itunes download, but i mean i haven't listened to it since april. then there's chief critic robert hilburn. yes, he's written some strong pieces here and there, but to do an editiorial blasting mtv's horrible coverage of live8 is like taking sand to the beach. it's a mute point; everybody knows mtv is an awful channel when it comes to music, but if you're looking for 19 years old in tube tops talking to some dude in abercombie gear about hooking up, then mtv is your crack. honestly, it's probably been 10 or 12 years since mtv actually had music orienated programming. and whenever i read any review he's written on something either related to jack black or conor obsert, i start to hear that aurora snow quacking sound from the stern show. the dude had such a hard on for those two guys and i don't get it. given that "i'm wide awake, it's morning" is an above average record, but "digital ash" was just a snoozer of radiohead impression. "get behind me satan" is a good record too, but it's not the best album of the year so far. his perspective on music is so narrow and it only seems he reviews albums unless it's so grandioso dylan-esque romp. i mean flip the script and write a negative review every now and then.

so i'm just saying this la times, get some new music critics even though most music critics are snobs and dicks. or at least, get some guy who'll do a story on the best producer in california or at least best producer in oxnard.

speaking of the best album of the year, so far, i have to put my two cents behind kano's "home sweet home". it's the first rap album from the uk that actually feels like a rap album. it's got the club bangers, it's got the slow jams and it's even got a conscious song. kano doesn't wear you out with his lyrics like dizzee rascal does; you don't feel as if you've heard everything he has to say after a couple of songs and there's a degree of diversity in the production as well.

what did samaire armstrong do to her hair? is natalie portman starting some bizzaro trend where girls are shaving their heads nowadays? and if so, why couldn't jessica simpson have jumped on the trend and not samaire armstrong. i mean, how funny would jessica simpson look with her head bic'ed? i'd pay 10 bucks to see that

while the new season of "laguna beach: the real orange county" looks great, isn't anybody else worried that the show is going to suffer from a lack of lo, l.c.'s friend? lo made lc bearable, but if season 2 is gonna be lc pining away for stephen without the ocassional pearl of winsdom for lo, then i'm just going to go to the bathroom during those parts.

look at the dude in the cabbie hat. i point this out because he's done the perfect job being the jerky dude in the background of your family photo.i mean look at this one here. he's so on point, it's beyond perfection. i bet if you look through your photos at coachella, that dude is bound to show up at least 10 times. also, the girl in the green is pretty killer as well. like her facial expression, she's totally having a good time.

and for those who need a babe fix, holla!

a word to the wise, if you're going to amoeba music on sunset at all this week, could you please hold off on buying any goblin soundtracks they might have in stock, especially the ones for tenebre and profondo rosso. i'm going up on friday afternoon and i mean, it's going to make sitting in gridlock on the way home even more terrible if i don't find any goblin soundtracks.

has anybody else noticed the alarming and scary differences amongst celebrity/reality tv parents this summer? on one channel, you have the over protective, over bearing, chastiy belt purchasing parenting from the spokesperson of fanny packs manufactures of america, hulk hogan, then on the next channel, there' the forgetfull parenting styles of one bobby brown. and like somewhere between those two, you got mtv's the barkers. i would almost want to suggest that e! does a father swap show with the browns and the hogans. so that the hogan kids could breathe for a minute without the fear of being forced to wear matching zumba pants out in public while on a trip to cold stone and you know, maybe bobbi kristina could have some sembelnce of parental supervision. doesn't she just seem like an afterthought to them? for as funny as the scene was when she asked to go in the bedroom with her parents after bobby came home from jail, it's incredibly sad. i'd say more about the barkers but i don't want anymore death threats cause one was way too many from the last time.

speaking of horrible shows, i highly recommend e!'s fight for fame. probably my favorite people in the whole wide world are aspiring actors. they have some hope and optimism; that ocassional it even rubs off a mean person such as myself. but the actors on this show are just some of the worst i've ever seen and i've seen myself act and that's rather scary. my favorite part of the show has to be the initial auditioning process cause auditioning actors is an extremely funny power trip. i can't describe it, but the first i was watching an actor in an audition, i want to bust up laughing in front of the actor's face; mainly because he was so wrong for the part. so if you ever know a friend making a movie, get in on their auditions because you'll have a great time, but bring some snacks.

with tonight being all star night, i must say that i'm extremely disapointed by the anaheim angels as of late. i've been wanting to write something to the affect of what's it going to take for the angels to get decent press and coverage out here. the dodgers are tanking as per usual, but you know the angels are in first place and their pitching is pretty much there and their hitting is solid and their fielding is good and they're in first place. i've been dying to brag about it, but the supersitious side of me just said no because it'll be a jinx. but the facts is this, i went to see them on thursday night against the mariners, who are in last place and the angels' ace, bartolo colon was pitching. dude gives up 7 runs in two innings and the angels barely squeeze two runs. i just don't understand this completely flop-a-roo and of course, now they'll probably get more press for the recent backslide probably into second place. so, if team has an extra good pitcher hanging around, send them over to the angels because it's needed desperately.

related, terry francona needs to ligthen up just a smidge and needs to spread the red sox all through out the line up instead of all in a row during the all star. i don't have the patience to wait around for probably the third inning to see vlad bat. let's get it over with him. and the same goes for tony la russa and the nl team, start willis, man; fuck your own pitcher.

and finally, i'd just like to point out that today is skeet on mischa's first birthday. i've been doing this mess for one whole year, which is really odd, but i guess people dig what i do. so i must extend a series of thanks to anybody whose stopped by and read something every now and then and send a shout out to anybody who has left a comment. another shout out to anybody whose linked to us. a further thanks to uncle grambo, the thigh master, mark cobrasnake, vice magazine, spencer sloan, catch dubs, tony danza for having a daugther who was out of control, the girl who made me say, she's outta control in the very first place, rachel bilson, james murphy, any girl i shouted out, and of course, mischa barton.

so, i'll keep on pumpin' out the jams and you keep on reading them, deal?

Jul 7, 2005


gary coleman just got back from the matrix and wanted to tell stan lee all about the real world we're supposed to be living in.

my thoughts are with those in london. it's been a rough day.

Jul 6, 2005

run the road

without a doubt, probably my favorite thing about 2005, so far. some say the odds on favorite for babe of the year in '05.

i don't know how many of you have been in a hot tub situation like this, but i have. while it was as drunken or as sexual, but never the less, it was on par with this moment. it was at wild rivers and the whole scene was weird because it was a night for those who just graduated the 8th grade or some sorta undergrad night thing. does anybody else have that in their town? undergrad night or is that just a saddleback church thing? anyways, so it was a church sponspored event and basically there are two hot tub/jacuzzi areas at wild rivers and basically every single 8th grader was in the two hot tubs and it was crazy. or at least, i assumed it was crazy. you'd probably want to yell "hands" in the popular kids direction but that wasn't me. you know not too many girls were into guys with backne who were obsessed with quentin tarantino. seriously, everybody needs to have a great hot tub story. or at least, to keep those everything but water stores in business.

everybody's favorite robot from music for robots, mark breaks down the clap your hands say yeah hype for y'all. i'm still out to lunch on these guys. like i tried to get a copy of their album the wrong way and i got burned. a bunch of mp3s that got off half way through.


while this photo doesn't fully illustrate the hi-larity of the situation, but "blow out"'s scott getting ready for his party in his tiny studio apartment probably was the funniest thing since the end of the second season of "arrested development". bravo, i smell spin offf, "the adventures of scott in weho!"

the other day, somebody asked me about the show, "beauty & the geek" and i have to say this, i really haven't been watching it that much. what i saw, i sorta dug. but i have two problems with the show. one, i remember hearing some critical prasie for the show and this horrible critic called ashton kutcher the savior of comedy on television, which i took immeditae offense to. i dunno about you, but ashton kutcher, if anything has ruined comedy. sure, every now and then, a bit on "punk'd" is funny, but can you actually sit through a whole episode? does anybody laugh during the monologues/rants inbetween bits? me, i want to hang myself while those things are on. sure, people like jonathan antin and barry bonds and julia roberts and oprah winfrey are stark raving mad ego manics, but ashton kutcher has to be the worst one of all. to inject footage of you screaming about how kirsten dunst didn't return your phone call every two minutes, i mean, come on, let shit slide. and more over, it's not funny. it wasn't funny the first time, so why do you believe its going to work the next 28 times? so i have this fear with "beauty & the geek" that ashton kutcher is pop up somewhere wearing a red string and screaming about something that isn't funny.

kutcher's sense of humor is the type that if you knew him and you were on his payroll, it'd be funnier than steve martin's performance in the jerk. it's a cross between drunk funny and here's 200 bucks, now please laugh at my jokes.

and the second thing that kept me away from "beauty & the geek" is brian mcfadden's hair. can anybody actually explain that to me? it has this post modern amish vibe.

although it should be noted that probably the girl we would've pulled for on the show was lauren. i know, i don't like blondes, but there's this thing about her.

and seriously, the wb needs better web designers.

Jul 5, 2005

miss dynamite


the thing about miranda july's me and you and everybody we know is its parts are greater than its whole. miranda july should stick to making movies about children because they are the only interesting characters in the film. for as bizzare as alot of the scenes involving kids felt autheic and real, which is rather hard to pull off. from her performance, i could tell that miranda july is still firmly in touched with her child side, but it should be noted, that miranda july should hang up the acting hat. for me and my dollar, her performance felt like she was napoleon dynamite's long lost sister.

while the kids stuff felt real, i gotta call bullshit on the scene where the two girls say that their favorite music is cody chesnutt music. maybe if the film was made in 2003, i'd believe it, but even then it's a bit of strentch. i mean, that was some serious over night hype. here today, gone today.

although it should be noted, i was preparing for myself to say that the fire in the building next to the movie theaters was vastly more interesting than the film, but i was wrong. a fire that had 4 or 5 fire trucks out wasn't as interesting as the movie. i think that it was weird that the theater didn't stop its showings because of the fire. that's probably my number one movie fear, what happens when a natural disaster occurs while watching a movie? like if there's an earthquake, does the movie stop or do we keep it going because we're southern californians and you know, fuck the earthquake, i'm watching herbie: fully loaded.

my second movie watching fear is what if somebody whose sitting behind me and it's a scary movie and during a scary part, the person behind me grabs my shoulders and i freak out and if i had popcorn, all of it would be on the people around me.


you know me, i love me some "road rules" angela aka angela trimbur. i mean, i don't think anybody would reading this mess if it wasn't for her. but here's the thing, i must be slipping on my babe watch cause i totally slept on the launch of angela trimbur's website (probably too distracted by babes like this). yet, here's my problem with her portfilo, everybody has a shot like the one above. it's a portofolio cliche. you know flip the script up a bit. have a shot of you sitting on a toliet, drinking a corona. i know somebody who may or may not have a similar image of your humble narrator doing that.

related, i don't understand why the makers of loaded, which apparently is a terrifying look behind the orange curtain, aren't heavily promoting the fact that road rules angela is in their movie doing strippey dances. i mean at least cut a 30 second spot of b-roll of her doing some moves on the pole with masta ace's "sittin on chrome" playing in the background.

and on the real, if you want to hear real terrifying tales from behind the orange curtain, then read oc idiots. and one of these days, i'll write something for that site, but i'm super busy with other things right now.

gotta extend a fuck you over to mlb and their whole vote on the final 2 all stars thing. yeah, i hate derek jeter and i never been impressed by anything he's ever done. to me, derek jeter is the tim duncan of baseball. everybody says he's great, but i have yet to see it. personally, i wish i could vote on which professional baseball player gets to sent to the island on "lost" and becomes food for the invisiable monster, cause i'd vote for derek jeter like 8 million times. why can't i vote for a player on my team? yeah, it'd be like a few thousand people, but chone figgins needs to be at the all star playing twenty different positions each inning. what can derek jeter do? talk about what's it like to have sex with mariah carey? boring.

and finally to pull off the hat trick of spitting in peoples' salads, like 6 years ago, mtv's that 70s' house would've been gangbusters, but hasn't the world moved past 70s nostalgia as well as 80s nostalgia? i'm sure the show might be interesting, but when i see bil dwyer's name as the host, it's time to head for the hills. can't mtv just show the second season of "laguna beach" already? i need to live my awesome o.c. lifestyle through teenaged kids who live about 15 minutes away from my house. i can't have a life unless i know if l.c. and stephen hooked while at school in san fran. how am i supposed to deal without knowing about the new drama about laguna beach high with kristen as a senior? i need to know if morgan finally came out and professed her love to christinia; i don't need to see goofy kids deal with polyster and 8 track tapes.

on the topic of mtv, johanna from the new real world is delayed reaction hot. has that ever happened to you? like there's somebody in a class of yours or office or softball team, you know whatever, and like you think the person is sorta all right looking, but then a few weeks later, you see a photo of them and you're like they're sorta of hot? wait, did that even make any sense?

i think that bet is going to show the full "trapped in the closet" saga tonight at 10p. way better than a bunch of unattractive weiner kids talkin' about how they wanna hook up with the only house babe that doesn't have southie cooties. and by way, southie cooties, i mean that weiner kid from boston. that's why real world austin is horrible, it's told through his point of view and guess what? he's rather dull and boring.

and finally, i said something about being mad at chuck taylor aka the game. i don't know if i have enough time to explain why i'm mad at the game, perhaps tomorrow, i'll go into. but i'll say this, why didn't he buy the beat, "bandanas" first? if you haven't heard the beat, it's on "back like crooked crack 2," mixtape by juelz santana. but for the game, that's probably the most perfect beat with an amazing chorus. "he wore a red bandana". if that doesn't describe a rapper from compton, then i don't know what does. or the game should at least get on it if juelz uses it for his full length.

Jul 1, 2005

from the wrtier of "the ring"

i don't know where exactly to pinpoint what may have cause my moments of illness last night. it either was bobby brown talking about how he helped whitney houston take a dump or that i probably ate pizza after giving my dog her eye cream. you know one of those two things could've caused me to throw just a lil' bit in my mouth. maybe both things. i'm still out to lunch on that.

you know that song, "good weekend" by the best new british band since franz ferdinand of the year of the month of the week of the day, art brut? like i know that the guy who wrote the song probably never been to la or hung out at these steve aoki dance parties, but i think he wrote about if this girl being his girlfriend. i mean, wouldn't you be sending out text messages and emails to all your friends saying in all caps, naturally that you've seen her naked twice with an attached photo or something. it's like this one story a professor told me about getting revenage of an ex girlfriend by hanging around tom selleck; the girl didn't believe he'd make it in the industry and you know it was the 80s; telling people that you've seen that girl naked twice is the best form of revenage since beatrix kiddo made a list.

and what was written above, goes for this girl as well; i mean, she's the nike swoosh of the hipsters

umm, be back tuesday. i have 99 problems and mainly, it's chuck taylor and how i got a nickel stuck in my new balances and that missy/m.i.a. track is barely even banannas; it's like a red/green combo apple. diplo remix asap!