&t skeet on mischa: 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Oct 30, 2005

waves that never break


well, to be honest, people, the past few days in skeetville have not been good at all. actually, it's the worst i've ever felt in my life. my dog, nelson, who was 14 years old, passed away. it's hard for me to talk about it because i don't want to upset other people or you know, ruin their day with what i'm dealing with. it's good share, but at the same time, i feel like this isn't the forum for me to share my grief and frustrations and over all, saddness. yet, if i don't get out these feelings, i figure i'll blow up somewhere else.

its hard for me to be at home because all i know and all i remember of being at home, is having nelson sleeping in the corner or running around. and when i leave the house, i briefly escape those thoughts, but when i'm on my way back home, i start to remember how she'd always be there. she was the constant in my life and i always thought she'd out live me, but i just don't know what to do anymore. do i sit around and listen to all the sad songs on my ipod or do i just try to deal with what i'm going through and hope over time, i'll become whole again.

the passig of nelson wasn't a sudden event, she had been in declining health for a little over a year now, but no matter how much you prepare yourself for it, it still hurts and feels as if she died suddenly.

understandablely, i'll be taking the next couple of weeks off. while i apperciate the regular readers and the pop ins, i don't know if i'll be able to make fun of the laguna beach kids just right now.

Oct 28, 2005

what?

what do you mean mr sulu is gay? i thought he was quite the cocksmen.

then again, to quote artie lange, "who would've thought a guy with a papillon named the white queen is gay"

dwight karate punches michael


building perfection. okay, take this model, then for some reason throw in, my dvr's description of next week's "the office, 'dwight karate-punches michael,' then like for the soundtrack, the "get 'em daddy" remix (them shits was scooby snacks) [remix via dipset fans]. can it get any better? well if you also throw in the alan braxe & fred falke remix of dfa79's "black history month," which is my vote for remix of the year, by the way.

speaking of dfa79, much like bloc party, they're releasing a remix album in a few weeks ("romance bloody romance"). but here's the thing, it's a bit too soon. yeah, the remixes are really good and the bonus tracks are super nice, but most nerds already have as well as the remixes. most people wait until they have a few albums under the belt before the remix album comes out, you know. i mean, we got three different remixes of one song on the album. just wait, vice, you'll still make that hipster cash if you wait for the new album to come out. on the positive side, at least none of these remix albums are as awful as that faint remix album from a few years back. for some reason, that album made me hate the faint and no longer be interested in their music.

m night shamaylan is railing against the idea of movies going directly to dvd and cable and into the theaters on the same day because, well, it lose the magic or something. here's the obvious criticism of his compliant from an arm chair director, make a fucking decent movie first and formost, m night shamaylan. signs was an utter borefest and well, the village was as roger ebert said, "a colossal miscalculation, a movie based on a premise that cannot support it, a premise so transparent it would be laughable were the movie not so deadly solemn. it's a flimsy excuse for a plot, with characters who move below the one-dimensional and enter flatland." so let's just think about that first, mr chubby checker of movies. quality will bring people to the movies first and formost or at least 90 minutes of johnny knoxville and that dude from american pie goin' off dirt jumps will put butts into the seats. but has m night shamaylan actually gone to the movies, like a real movie theater recently? probably not. has had to sit there while two stupid women in their late 30s whisper to each all through out broken flowers? was he there when i saw in america and this senior citizen yells out racial slurs during the movie? did he have some woman stand up during a topless scene in sin city and block the entire screen for the duration of that shot? did night have the pre show entertainment start to play at the same time during the new stars wars movie? no, of course not. chubby checker gets private screenings and shit. i love going to the movies, and frankly, if the studios want to destroy the distrubtion window so they could make more money on dvd sales, then i'm all for it because it means less people at the movies to ruin it for me. i mean, the only problem that would come out of that situation is when you're sitting in the theater all by yourself and like five minutes before the movie starts, some guy who smells like moldly towels sits next to you or fairly close. if jane who fails to turn off her cell phone or at least put it onto silent, has the option to catch that new tom cruise flick on cable whenever she wants to or driving out to the theater to catch it, she's gonna go with in demand. the shattering of the distrubtion window is a win-win situation. the nerds get to keep the cinemas for themselves and average joes will kick back at home with their lovely full screen copies of movies.

the most important that needs to be fixed about the movies, is the dude who programmed the flashback features at the local cinemas. how you could do revival screenings during the month of october and not show one single scary movie? i'm not asking for black christmas or the greatest film ever made, dario argento's opera, but you know, hook the kids with at least one of the evil dead movies. i think i'm bringing more traditional hellaween films over to a friend's party this weekend to show during the party; they probably won't get played cause they're too gorey and a 13 year old asia argento may make some people uncomfortable, but you know, the thought is there, man.

i'm sure tracking down and securing prints is a pain in the ass, but i could probably program a better slate of films in my sleep for the flashback features.

further related, if you're having a hellaween party and you're show scary movies during it, without the sound on, you know just background and what not, may i suggest fulci's city of the living dead or his masterpiece, the beyond

new eon mckai movie for y'all into the indie, bunuel esque, alt porn thing and of course, it's nsfw.

anybody else ever get bored in an editing lab and start to goofing around on soundtrack pro and try to make beats out of all the gun sound effects (shout out to terror danjah)? i'd use garage band, but it's too hard to figure out. soundtrack pro is just drop and drag clips into a timeline, so easy. i'm just wondering if i could make like a podcast there. although, it would be one of those podcasts where i'd talk about stuff, i'd just play songs, you know like feist and i'd throw in explosion sound effects and i'd shout my name during the song with lots and lots of echo, naturally.

and finally, big ups to harriet miers for withdrawing from the supreme court nomination process. my only worry is that bush will either nominate judge judy or one of his daugthers (i'd still holla at that one who looks like an aprochable version of kate beckinsale) or somebody so crazy that it'll make us wish it was still miers.

oh yeah, did you hear the good news? the rentals are back. your humble narrator prefers the works of matt sharp over rivers in a post 'pinkerton' world.

Oct 26, 2005

sour shoes


either adam brody just got a decent laugh from his killer impression of scooter libby or adam brody is proving to the world that he's still ruining our dreams by dating rachel bilson. or at least, this is what fox pr people and respective publicists want us to believe.

and that annie dj kicks album would be way better if she sung on the songs like erlend oye did, but then again, she'd be ripping off erlend oye and we'd being giving her shit for ripping off elrend oye. and annie sorta blows her musical load by the 8th song, that dfa79 remix is beyond amazing. hopefully, the people at the hellaween party i go, will play that jawn for me so i can dance to it whilest i'll drink my miller high life.

this may sound weird, but have you ever been in a situation where somebody in a class of yours seems sorta flighty? you know, just not all the way there, but you like the person because they provide for a chuckle every now and then. then like you find the person on myspace or something and you learn that they're just really positive and upbeat and it sorta makes you feel bad for living in such a shame spiral of negativity and ill will and like all their friends are really upbeat and supportive and it's like whoa, yeah, my friends are supportive, but like man, she's got a whole army behind her. maybe i can enlist?

the passenger


look at this little cuddle bug. if it's legit, breaking up with adam brody has done wonders for rachel b.; although, how's mischa b taking the break up? did zach braff think about the killer bs? does he asume that he's gonna jump in right and become the other b in the killer bs? the bees don't form like voltron and its a two woman operation.

here's the thing, no matter what my professors may tell me, i honestly believe that directing is easy. if lindsay lohan can direct a video and it wasn't rejected by the label or chock full of cheesey performances shots at the request of the label, then she must've done something right. and of course, the label surrounded her with people who've been plugging away in this industry way before lindsay lohan's birth, who could successfully tell the crew what to do, but still, directing can't be that hard if lindsay lohan can do it. sure, professors will say, it takes time to direct something of quality and meaning, but here's the thing, it doesn't seem like it takes alot of effort and creativity to direct a dave myers style video and there was a good year, year and half period on mtv where it was only him & joseph kahn.

i'm oddly fasicanated by g4 tv. maybe, its the show where they treat people playing video games like legit sports stars and how dumb i am, to sit there and watch a show about people playing video games. most people can't watch other people play video games, but i guess i can, because, well, i don't like video games and i've never been really good at them, unless a game genie is involved. but anyways, it just seems like g4 tv is the place that flashed reality sorta was beens go to collect a pay check because i saw mormon julie from the real world on there hosting some show and i saw some reject from american idol hosting a show. now, i have to wonder do these actually play the games they're talking about or is it i come in around 10, we do voice overs for an hour or two, break for lunch, then do all of the studio stuff and i'm home by 6 and my account tells me when the checks come. i can sorta buy real world julie being into video games, but the american idol girl, not so much.


umm, i honestly believe i could watch an episode of celebrity poker if michael cera was on it. like, if michael cera was on an episode on one of those dramas that everybody says is really amazing and great, you know like "the west wing," but you don't know anybody who watches the show under the age of 35.

even though i commented about the chi tea sox are a bunch of cry babies about the roof being open, i still forgot about the game. on the roof topic, here's the thing, its called a home field advantage. so when the 'stros are on the home turf, they should play in their stadium the way they like to play it, the way they're most comfortablely playing it because it's home field fucking advantage. you know, i bet if ozzie bitches and moans some more, even though, they won't need it with the way the chi tea is plowing through, but i bet you ozzie could probably pull off having the dh in the national ball park. i mean, why not push their luck and just run with it, since wwlb is behinding over backwards like paris hilton does to a greek shipping heiriest to make sure chi tea wins the big dance. tainted title, dudes, tainted title. fuck the game tonight, dudes, veronica mars is on and a new episode of south park to boot.

does anybody know if joe buck has a new boyfriend yet? cause, while these games are classic, pressure cooker baseball, they're incrediblely boring, so i've been tuning out.

super short reviews:
-"z" by my morning jacket; i'm not the biggest fan of my morning jacket, but i like them a lot and i liked this album alot. they need to do something with lee 'scratch' perry on their next album or at least, put a dub record or something.
-i really dig my brown & pink thermal hoodie from american apparel and it came really fast too. maybe, its cuz they ship out of la and i'm about an hour away.

now, i know its the hellaween season and some of you may be stressing out over what to dress up as the various parties you're gonna get drunk at. now, it's cutting it a little close to the hellaween party season, so running from costume shop to costume shop to good will may not be an opition for you at this time. let me help you out with a costume suggestion, go as the man behind this very blog you're reading. now, your costume will be confusing to most, but use it as an ice breaker or a conversation starter. we're better than cruising around venice beach with a snake wrapped our necks, but still, we could use all the help we can get it. first and formost to be the troubled mind of this blog, you're gonna need a phil spector esque afro wig or just make your hair really big. then, you're gonna need a t-shirt, a white tee and to really sell you're the dude who writes skeet on mischa for hellaween, you're gonna need to write a witty line on the tee. you know something like, "lcd soundsystem is my favorite band," "i write goofy captions" or "i invented the killer bs" you know something along those lines, then like you just need a pair of jeans and some new balances and you're set to the skeeter dude.

shout outs to jack nicholson for finally releasing antonioni's the passenger. now i can fall asleep during an english language antonioni film.

Oct 25, 2005

cry babies

the chi tea sox can't play with the roof closed, so guess what they get? the roof opened.

tainted title, dude, tainted fucking title.

and there's a new juelz mixtape on preorder at mix unit

what if we gain the freshmen 15?


not only does he put out quality music and hang out with cool people like hell rell and marica gay harden, but when killa camgets shot, it's not abig deal. you're not gonna see cam base the marketing campagin for the new album or juelz's album (dropping on november 22nd) on the fact he got shot recently. he's not gonna be on mtv wearing a bullet proof vest and talking about how he was shot 9 times and cam's not gonna travel with a small army of body guards with him, like a certain half dollar does. and cam is gonna direct his own movies, but he should get on the phone with chris walken because cam, you're having font issues with your trailer and a quicktime file would be nice, as well.

dear fox execs, look at these numbers and how much better the chi tea sox game did in chicago than the rest of the country, so only show it in those markets and crank out the new episodes of "arrested development" for those who don't care for the antics of bud mcmahon and the whole 'tainted title' business.

i wonder if jessica alba is the one to blame for cingular's switch to the new voice mail system or maybe, she's having the same amount of trouble with it as i am. i try to delete the message and i smosh 7 over and over again and the message keeps on playing and once i delete, i try to exit, but the thing keeps on going. i want to exit out of the system as opposed to just hanging up because when you hang up, that little voice mail icon is on your phone and won't go away. and you just know that jessica alba got her brown thermal hoodie from american apparel without any problems and quicker than the flash, too

here's the weird thing, like while i watching the most recent episode of "laguna beach," i think its the best one ever. yet when i make the trot from couch to laptop, something happens where i realize that nothing happens cept for some classic, brills murray quotes from my crush, alex h. i know that they're thinking of doing an l.c. spin off, but here's the thing, she's boring. her friends are boring and they have really bad dye jobs, cept for lo. give the spin off to kristin and alex h monkeying around in la la land with alex h slumming away at santa monica college. we don't need a show about some girl whose really fit and into fashion; we got top model and nobody watches that anymore unless you're the tivo guy for like "the soup" or jimmy kimmel. doing an l.c. spin off show is sorta like crushing on an engaged girl. sure, its nice to look at, but you know, deep down inside, it wasn't meant for you, and by you, i mean, the viewing audience at large.

"laguna beach" related, next week's episode looks to be a classic, but here i go again, think it's going to be great and what not.

speaking of great television, there are people like myself and that one commenter and people who write for e! online that'll tell to watch a show like "veronica mars" because it's a well written show that has a decent visual flare and solid performances, but if i could convince you to watch any show, i'd tell you to watch the new season of "zoey 101". don't front, we've all watched episodes of "lizzie mcguire," why else would we write about hiliary duff so often? okay, so imagine your favorite episode of that show and like times it by ten, then you got an episode of "zoey 101". yes, britney spears' sister is the star of the show, but after watching this show, you'll realize that jamie lynn spears is the only one with talnet in the family. yet what keeps me coming back, is the supporting cast, quite simply they're amazing. yes, its called zoey 101, but its an ensamble show and it'd be really boring without them. the writers, um, i think i've said it before, but writing for that show would be my dream job. but honestly, being a background extra on that show would be a dream job for me and i would bring multiple shirts with me, so i could change inbetween shots. for example, if they're doing a dialogue scene between zoey & chase in front of the fountain and they were doing zoey's coverage, i'd walk by wearing one shirt and when they got to chase's coverage, i'd wear another color shirt.

am i the only one that notices the reoccuring extras within scenes of high school shows? watch closely and look at the master shot and you'll see some random dude in a yellow shirt walking by, then cut to a close up of an actor within the scene and you'll see that same yellow shirt guy walking by again. so i'd bring like a bunch of shirts with me, just so i could blend in and make it look like a ton of people go to pca.

anybody know if that new fiery furnaces record is worth picking up? those dudes have earned automatically purchase status, but i dunno about this one.

and i'd hate to write about paris hilton, but i must. so, basically, she went from one greek shipping heir to another, right? now, i know stern did a riff on this a week or two ago on the news, but i have to say, i think i'm gonna pretend to be a greek shipping heir to get some play for wanna be starlets or at least, it seems like you have to be a greek guy to get any play these days. we all know that greeks are passionate, but what is about these guys? can one of the few female readers chime in on this issue cause i need the sorta enlightment that one gets from checking out the myspace page of that one loud girl in class and how it all makes sense.

Oct 24, 2005

swimmers


seriously, i don't know who specifically at getty images, but i most definately owe somebody over there a big box of brownies for these photos:


i mean, do we need a goofy caption for this one? do i need to say that trashlee is yucking it while watching the new freddie prinze jr sitcom? 'oh man, b.a.g. is the brills'


or this one? well, i mean, i could imply that trashlee is saying, "and i was like, hey, what's up with that?"


or how you just picture joe simpson standing right behind the camera, barking at her to smile. i mean, we've all been there with family photos, but since, it's trashlee and its joe 'satan' simpson yelling at her, its a lot more funny and frankly, we can't relate to it because hopefully none of your fathers wear paper denim jeans and 'rap' with lil' jon on the sidekick all the time.


at the same time, i've come to realize that photos of ahslee simpson looking goofy isn't funny to everybody.


inserting the caption of "wha happened?" may not work for everybody. maybe, if i talk about my valet parking story from the other night. two things that you may need to be refreshed upon, one, i can't park my car for shit; i'm slowly becoming comfortable with backing my car out of spots, but i'm still suck at not going all the way through at spots. two, i'm very nervous about car; i always think something is wrong with it even though, i get the oil change every three months, so as i was given my car back by one valet guy, the other valet guy comes over and has a real serious look upon his face. i'm expecting him to say that i should go and have my car checked out in the morning, you know, something sounded funny and what not, but the guy says to me, "whose the name of the band thats in your stereo?" revealed, i told him that it was wolf parade, then he followed it up with the question, "you can get it a regular places?" you see this incident only fuels fire to my theory that valet guys and mechanics listen to the cds in your car. cause, when i got the car back, it was on track 1 and i think i was on track 10 when i gave it over to the valet guys, and of course, they told me that they listened to the album. but with this, and the incident earlier this year when i had a flat fixed and they were listening to my edan cd.

i guess, i should take it as a sign that i have okay taste in music, if valet dudes are asking me for suggestions and not tips at the end of the night or at least additional tips.

robin brown waxes poetic on the time we met jason schwartzman and how i gave him the shirt off my back; now, you know why i loved i heart huckabees so much, have that special connection with the star of it.

while sorta on the issue of high school things, outside of just doing whatsoever for amajority of the weekend other than watching "veronica mars" season 1 dvd (i'm on disc 5, don't say anything), i remembered an awkward incident from high school. i'm sure we all have been in those situations where somebody says something really personal and frankly, you don't believe that you have that level of trust with the person yet. you know, the two of you might share a class and you're just class buddies, talking before class starts about the weekend and if you run into each other, all you talk about is class. nothing beyond that region. so this was high school, i remember talking with this girl about something and just out of nowhere, she mentions that her father was shot a few years ago, and you know, what do you say in this situations? frankly, i'm a person who doesn't know what to do when somebody says hello to me, let alone, recanting some tale about a father's passing.

jean piere jeunet is gonna make a new film for an american studio, but i'm just wondering if its gonna be an english language film or in french or in some other language cause i remember at one point, the chubby checker of filmmaking, m night shamalyan was attached to it or passionate about it or interested in it, but here we are with jeunet going to make it and it'll be visually arresting, but sorta long and audrey tautou's gigantic eyes will make a cameo

and its official, saturday night live is dead. did anybody make it through a sketch this past week? i'd watch two seconds of it and just predict that somehow it'd involve catherine zeta jones' dancing and or singing. they gave her the sports star treatment like when that weiner kid who used to road rules/real world challenges was the host of snl and a majority of the skits were about skiing. you know, why couldn't they 'bottle rocket' their shit up a little bit? or is catherine zeta jones that stubborn? who knows and frankly, i won't be dvring it anymore. i'll come back when somebody can write me a 5 to 6 page essay, double spaced with footnotes explain why i should invest my time with this current cast and how funny they are and no, you can't simply say, at least they're better than jimmy fallon. even though, nobody like jimmy fallon, he still had those skits you'd hated to like for example, the jefferies sketch and the one man morning zoo skit. those were good, but these weiner kids are just bad business.

also, i know that i'm super late to the game, but i just got hbo, but hasn't anybody else realize that "entourage" is a horrible show? what the fuck is the point of the character, turtle? other than to say 'fuck' alot and look like somebody from nj guido? yes, jeremy piven is good, but i mean, basically its a varation on martin short in the big picture, the only decent performance by martin short or at least tolerable. i mean, how is this show funy? i'd also like an essay about why i should pick up the first season dvd and catch up on what i missed.

Oct 21, 2005

carmel corn part 2

well, there's this thing, the rumor circulating about that rachel b is hooking up wtih zach b. [via goldenfiddle aka cnn] are true, then zach braff needs to write a book. he needs to explain how he successfully went from natalie portman to mandy moore to kirsten dunst back to mandy moore to rachel bilson all in the span of what seems like two years. you know, is the secret to getting into the super expensive designer of young starlets to make a movie that's an only okay riff on the work of hal ashby with an soundtrack thats in every room of all the cute girls on myspace?

the same thing goes for that fez dude. i think me and you know that the fez dude is the next erik estrada (can't wait for the informericals pushing horrible time share condos near lake tahoe) and frankly, once, that 70s show over, where is he gonna find any work? so the dude should write some wilt the slit style book about how he moved from jennifer love hewitt to mandy moore to lindsay lohan to ashlee simpson to jamie pressly and anybody else in between.

and back to the new killer bs, rachel b & zach b, what's the deal with her only dating dudes with the same last name inital as her? why can't she 'bottle rocket' her ship up and holla at some r's or you know, whatevs.

and if anybody from american apparel is reading this, speed up my hoodie order, please.

carmel corn


sure, we'll suffering through new episodes of "arrested development" withdrawals, but is anybody getting the rachel b shakes? seems like ages and ages since she's on the tv. for those who've been missing, rachel bilson (dot) com has some video from a maxim photo shoot many moons ago. it's pretty killer and there might be some filler, but what are you gonna do? make them start the world series last night, so they could be done by next friday?

firt there was the single and now, the "do they know it's hallowe'en?" music video; kinda wish they went the we are the world route though. it would've made things like nine times funnier, you know like david cross haming it up with the one headphone on the ear and yadda yadda.

is it me, or has this week been pretty slow, boring, and just overall, uninteresting? or at least, preoccupied with other things? you know, oh wow, some titalating photos from la fashion week here and here and here and here (nsfw), i can check out those out while i'm perfecting my impression of rev. run's daugther from "run's house," which basically amounts to doing the most manest voice ever and say, 'i'm angela simons.' then pink is taking a break, and it's like, whoa nelly, pink's on a break; hope that the dude comes back soon. then, it's like, all the movies you've been dying to see all year long are finally out, and guess what, they're not very good. you know, what are we supposed to do? go and watch doom, trick please. i sincerely hope that nobody has the best week ever this week on "best week ever" because what happened to be excited about this week? like that fleeting half hour where i was a college professor was pretty interesting and those fleeting moments before i took a sip of that dolce de leche i got at coffee bean and how excited i was to have another because the first one i had was so good, and to be disapointed that the second time i had it, it was only okay. not to mention, all the good shows will either not be on or it'll be a rerun next week and it'll be that way for the next week or two. so i must say, sorry if the updates were lacking after my brief break. it's just, nothing interesting happened and for once, i left my house other than to go to school or lee's sandwiches.

Oct 19, 2005

two more things...

no, i haven't gotten the land of the dead dvd yet.

soon, peeps, soon.

and why is everybody wearing ugly clothing by ed hardy? i guess it's the new von dutch, but honestly, do we need a new von dutch? and how much money/drugs/sex do the people behind ed hardy give to the top music video stylists because i see it all other the videos these days. well, in that brief period when they show videos, unless you have fuse, but even if you have fuse, you're not watching it, cause well, it sucks.

and i'm back on myspace with perhaps the worst designed page in the history of the world; so check out dracula's nightmare

mixing up the mix!


i wish all the teenage girls that are getting eating disorders because of models could see this photo. here's the thing, models are boring people, too. they're nothing to sweat the small stuff over. they're just genetic freaks who are talking about how much "desperate housewives" sucks this season(they shouldn't have resolved all of their secrets last season) and how they kinda like that new madonna tune.

i was at the movies the other day and the trailer for the new usher film, in the mix was on. but the best part about it, there was no sound. so instead of some lamey usher music and phoned in performances, i got to listen to two guys talk about how hot the girl in the movie was and lame one guy was because he's too busy watching goodfellas to watch "the soporanos". and the thing is, i think that dialogue had more sparkle than anything that'll come out of usher's mouth. although, the greatest moment i had in sound going out during a movie history had to have been during bird on a wire and there was a shot of goldie hawn screaming and some dude filled in her for, and i think that got a bigger laugh than the movie its self did; also, i don't think anybody got out of their seat to complain about the sound.


i really, really, really, really wanted to like the squid and the whale, but it just didn't click with me. its not that its a bad film, but not it's a good film either. its just okay with a few laughs here and there. jeff daniels does a good job being an asshole as does every other actor in the film; the constant criticism of the film obviously is the development of characters because they're razor thin and wear out their welcome in about 10 minutes. not to mention, the film just sorta ends aburptly, broken flowers steez. it just felt like wes anderson ran out of money or something because honestly there has to be more to the story than the 80 or so minutes we see of them. the film feels like a bigger story and we're just seeing a chunk of it. one day, we'll see the squid & the whale 2: whale harder where it'll start right where the first film ended, sorta like halloween 2. the use of music for risky business was pretty fun.

Oct 18, 2005

superconnected


i dunno what's more fun? a group of models, who are probably like 15 and from russia and since being in the states, they've seen more snow here than in their home country, goofing off in between shows.

or


the bannana grabber. if you're going through "arrested," withdrawals and you already finished the second season dvd, i bet you're thinking the bannana grabber is way more fun. november 7th is too far away.

while i do apperciate all that houston has done for hip hop over the years, (that bun b solo album is out today, check it out, cause its bun b), i have to admint that it was really, really, really, really funny to see albert pujols to knock out that dinger in the top of the 9th. sure the 'stros have never been to the world series before, and they are the underdog, but i can't vote for them (does anybody know why we said, "i vote for them" as a way to say i cheer a team on? like second grade status), because george bush 1 is cheering them on. yes, bush 1's presidency was rather uneventful and bland, but he's the father of w bush, and frankly, if it'll bring him to joy to see the 'stros win, then i can't be apart of it. now if bun b was in bush's seat for all of the home games, then yeah, i'd pull for houston big time. still, i wouldn't even watch. i want to watch "reunion" and "prison break," not listen to joe buck's struggle to find a new boyfriend on the chi tea sox, does anybody think it's gonna be konerko?

yesterday, i had the somewhat standard moment of each semester where i end up hating what i want do for a living. like clockwork, it just seems to happen that i hate writing for a few days. it just seems like people put way too much thought in the whole creative writing process. whatever happened to just wanting to write a funny joke or tell a good story? yes, there's conflict and struggle, but the whole 'man vs man,' 'man vs self,' conflict just seems really stupid. not everything in this world needs label. can't you tell i'm frustrated by a grade i got on a paper?

but, my disdain of writing was quickly washed away as i attempted to be a teacher yesterday. although, i didn't have the full attention of the class, i must say that for the most part, i kept a majority of people there before the professor arrived. yeah, in most cases, i'd leave early if the professor hadn't showen up on time and it's been a while, but i didn't want to be in traffic on the way home. have you ever been on the 5 at five o'clock? basically, i just stood in front of the class and sorta paced around, poking my nose into peoples conversations about like everything from the baseball playoffs to the lakers to dvd bargains at sam's club, but for the most part, just hollaring at girls. yet, there's this certain power to being a teacher, which for a person, who never gets to have power trip, i throughly enjoyed being in charged and i could see being a teacher. although, i think i'd probably get fired after a month or two because i called the class, 'dude' too many times and the comments on papers would say something to the affect of "this is teh suck," and "booooorrrrriiiinnnngggggg".

as for last night's "laguna beach," ummm, you know, not digging the whole return of lc. i'm a alex h fan, and i want to see alex h and her dog, billy talking with kristin. yeah, lc is easy on the eyes, but that's cause she doesn't do anything all day. she has the time to get fit inbetween sunbathing sessions at the super cool pool and trips to fashion island. i bet that if i had nothing to do with my life other than sitting by the pool and being set up on phoney dates, i'd be really fit too. although, it should be noted, the whole old timey car for the date, that was smooth, real smooth. i forsee a dramatic increase in old timey car rentals for this weekend.

and i was talking with mark the other day about how i felt sorry for stephen. you know, kristin wants nothing to do with him and lc wants nothing to do with, so the dude is out of poonanny, but then i realize, he's on mtv and if he goes to like club glam, dude will be getting some poonanny. there'll be some drunken girl who'll feel sorry for him, and you know, pow bang boom surprise!

Oct 17, 2005

skeeting aint easy


for a woman who if you google (nsfw), you'll be able see her cooter six ways from sunday, nicole lenz dresses very conversativetly and frankly, i gotta applaud that. sure, being naked in a magazine and being linked in a phoney sex tape scandal with paris hilton and simon rex (remember him?) got her shine, but you know, she's above it these days.

is this everybody's favorite american apparel model who also has her own teeny porn site? or is her sister or just some girl who slightly resembles her. if its any of the above, i may have to reconsider my stance of spending my nights watching emmanuelle in outer space reruns and actually head up to big, bad, scary l.a. with it's parrallel parking and two lanes streets pretending to be three lanes and it's unprotected left turns to hang out with these people. then again, we all know, i wouldn't hang out with them. i'd just talk to the people i came with and maybe dance by myself, but i'd probably fall asleep in some booth and my already empty wallet would be cleaned out again (drinks are expensive, dude) and in the morning, i'd wake up in some shady motel missing a kidney. maybe, i'm just better off falling asleep watching nicoas roeg films and just hitting the torrent circuits.

apparently, lo from "laguna beach" season 1 heard that she's not the favorite cast member anymore. you know, everybody is into alex h these days, so what do you know, lo has to go and flash the goods to win some popularity points. i wonder if they acted like this in high school? (nsfw) [via defamer]

i don't know if this is a victory for me or just admittance of failure, because if it's admittance of failure, i still take it as a victory, but anyways, did anybody else notice that mtv has taken my beloved "the reality show" off the air and moved it to their online channel. not even mtv2 or mtvU or mtv hits, but straight to the internet; although upon further inspection and according to the website of host, dan levy, the show has been cancelled, thus defeating the sole purpose of the show and only reenforcing my views on reality tv or at least, mtv's reality shows, we, the audience don't want to pick out the people we want to watch, we want to have that work done for us. okay, look, it's a show about a bunch of people who are desperate for attention, but nobody cares about people who are straved for attention, unless they're janice dickinson or any other cast member of any season of "the surreal life". you see, that show works because, the people on it are already picked, so we don't have to decide a difficult task. also, its not even a issue, that all of the subjects or potential reality stars were nothing sort of boring. i don't have room in my life for a "laguna beach" knock off about some scummy suburb in san diego county. we don't need any more ditzy girls, we already have making the band 3, laguna beach, the real world, miss seventeen magazine, next, and, various episodes of made. the demand has been met.

let's not even get started with the whole sitting down to watch a tv show on the computer, other than that episode of "lost," you forgot to tivo that you downloaded, why would you watch tv on your computer unless you're stuck on an long flight and you got a laptop. it's just not comfortable or perhaps, i'm just bitter because i can't paratake in any of these broadband features and shows because i have a mac and the chances of web sites becoming mac friendly doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

speaking of mtv, have you seen the ryan caberra informercial known as "score" yet? where do i begin with this one? i honestly don't know. there's the various horrible hair styles, which are basically varations on yu-goi hair with the ocassional awkward fedora (why are fedoras popular again? if i see a person in a fedora and a regular tv shirt, i think of ducky, i think of the goofy best friend, i don't think oh, this is a look i want to copy.) and yeah, the whole concept of the show is pretty lame: aspiring musicians write songs to win a date. how did this get made? what kind of straggle hold does the evil joe simpson have the entertainment industry to get this show onto mtv? sure, room raiders was no "arrested development," but at least, the whole 'i like stuff and you sorta like the same stuff as well' was infintely more interesting than a couple of dudes wearing flip flops sitting in a reheresal room struggling to use the word, 'napoleon' in a song cause the girl just loves that movie.


but back to joe simpson for a minute, how can we stop him? what can we do to stop him? hopefully, if you're reading this, you're not buying the records of those who have the touch of the devil aka joe simpson, but if you do buy those records and you read this, please stop. okay, here's the thing, joe simpson probably is the same age as my parents while yes, my father has his own blog and knows what's up with hiliary duff, but he doesn't dress like he's 26. okay, joe simpson wears better jeans than i do. this is a major problem. people are suppose to act their age or at least feel unbelievablely uncomfortable when they're not acting their age. joe simpson feels way too comfortable and relax in his skin. now for those who've been keeping score, you may remember this one script i want to write called the fudruckers about a rag tagged group of high school kids (freshmen) who are slightly over weight and wear hawaiian shirts who have to travel back in time in save spring break and i told people that the story would be a metaphor for obsesity in the youth of america. but now, i think i have a reason why the fudruckers would travel back in time to prevent joe simpson and ashlee simpson doing a concert at their school. i don't think i could get them to sign off on it, so i'll have to pull a sofia coppola and cast anna faris as a 'ashlee simpson' type or at least anna faris' younger sister.

here's the thing, i loved tony scott's domino. yes, i know it was completely over stylized and yes, it had that feel of being too cool for school, when it's only too cool for network television, and yes, the structure didn't make alot of sense, and yes, there were too many characters (which fits in the 'too cool' vibe), and yes, it's pretty lame that keira knightley used a body double. still in spite of all that, i was througly entertained. why do we go to the movies? to have a good time and with domino you definately have a good time. i think thighs said something about the cast is full of people you normally wouldn't like in a movie or haven't liked in movies in the past, but in this one, they're making you fall on the floor from laughing. like monique, i don't think she's funny at all, but she had cracking me up as if it was an episode of "arrested development" or something. and i'm not saying that i liked the film alot because a former professor of mine worked on it, i'm saying i liked it alot because it was high quality, well made fun filmmaking. you couldn't ask tony scott to make more of a tony scott film; it's the same way i felt about the island, its a perfect michael bay and domino is a perfect tony scott film; don't surprised to see it on my top ten list, probably tied with the island.

speaking of quality films, the trailer for matthew lessner's darling darling has gone on line. it stars michael cera aka george michael from "arrested..." and well, to talk about what's it about, sorta ruins the magic of it.

i'm rambling here, folks. this is the first post in a bit and it'll be the last one for a minute. so bear with the chaos and bear with the rambling.

anybody know who did the beat for "future thugs," that new redman song off of "we get busy vol. 4". yeah, everybody on the track is sorta blah, but ghostface sorta killed it. and we all know that the new ghostface record won't move 50 type of units, but can we get the new ghostface album like next week? dude is on fire as of late and i think we all know that the carter admistration will push back the album many times and like most of the stuff will be on mixtapes, so it won't be as interesting when it finally comes out. i mean, look at juelz santana's album, wasn't that suppose to come out in the summer? then in september, then in october and now, we're looking at november, which in tune, even though, completely different labels, has pushed back the release of the new cam album. so you know, let's get that ghostface record asap.

and finally, well not necessarily finally, but for the most part, we're getting to the home strentch. ready, okay! i'm embarrassed by orange county for 4 reasons:

-the angels. okay, what the fork happened? i've seen houses made of cards collapse more gracefully than the angels did in the last 4 games. vlad had his bat stolen, then caught the afraud flu where you sorta choke, then chone was nowhere to be found either. not to mention, there was no starting pitching. i'm not even going to bring up the infamous 'call,' except to say this, anybody else notice that there was no replay of that incident from the 'diamond cam'? rest of the series, tons of shots from the diamond cam, but when we truly could've used one, no where to be found. what's that you say? tainted title. i agree. i'm just gland i can finally shave off my playoff bread.

-nobody apperciates the dip set ramones paradoy t out here or at least the one place i wore it to. first off, how can people still being sleeping on the dips in this day and age, but at least, i thought i would've ran into one rap nerd who would've got the shirt, but its just sad.

-the crowd at the lcd soundsystem at the h.o.b. of anaheim (review by derek doi here). before i get any further, i must extend a gigantic thanks to mark from music for robots for tickets and such. good looking out and i owe you some brownies. so finally, james murphy was in the orange curtain and i wanted to impress him because how often is james murphy ever in orange county? but the crowd, the crowd, i dunno. it wasn't that they were young, because they weren't. they were old or at least normal age, its just that they didn't know how to dance or what to yell. now, i know it seems really douchey to say there are rules to rock, but i think there is. while i'm sure that goofus & gallant with their matching red exercise shorts and red bands tightly wrapped around their afros thought they were the coolest motherfuckers since oedipus, yet in reality, everybody hate them because nobody wants to worry about two doofuses who grinding against each other bumping into you while you're trying to enjoy the show. we paid 20 bucks to watch the band, two retards try to hump each other to "daft punk is playing at my house". and you know, sometimes want to dance by themselves, like myself. if i wanted to dance with people, i'd still be my friends, but instead, i'm upfront, billy idol status, so please don't attempt to pull me into your little dance crew. i can't explain it, but i was just really embarrassed and hope that james murphy and the rest of lcd soundsystem and the juan maclean doesn't assume that all of orange county is like that. we're sorta decent folks. although, there was one cool kid, who was like a mix of george michael from "arrested" and chase from "zoey 101" (btw, the new season is awesome) who was dancing to lcd soundsystem in slow motion. as for the lcd show & the drive in totals, i forgot the set list because it was a few days ago, but they opened with "yr city is a sucker," which was killer and there was no "jump into the fire," and there was one babe in the audience,

-the impression that we have the 909 or at least the impression tv, thanks in large to josh schwartz & "the oc", has given us of the 909. people, i went to the 909 this past weekend, to be specific, the chino hills area. while, chino hills is the upscale sister city of chino, its just as cookie cutter and generic as any piece of land you'd find in rancho santa margartia or landera ranch. everything look the same and all the streets have the same names or at least end in the same name; there's like a million streets that end with the word, 'ranch'. the difference between the 909 and rest of southern california is access to the beach. it takes a while to get to the beach from there and houses are dirt cheap. like a three bedroom little condo house out here could cost like half a million or at least has an asking price of half a million where as for that kind of money, you could buy like giant rap video party house out in the 909. the 909 isn't the home of dirt bags, well, actually it is, but it's also the home of cheap skates. people want to make every single dollar last and frankly, they don't mind slugging it out every morning on the 60 freeway to go to la or orange county to work at their job.

Oct 14, 2005

don't look now part 2 (shout outs to el-p & mr lif)


don't look now, but "lost" star maggie grace is becoming your mother.

next thing, you know, she'll be telling to stop slouching and to take off your ipod earphones while she's talking to you and how you don't put your shoes on the furinture or something like that.

and yeah, i have no clue what's up with john lackey in the first inning either.

Oct 12, 2005

even though, the past two days have been some of the worst days of my life.

i have to come back and say one simple word.

bullshit.

if you saw the angels/sox game, you know exactly what i mean.

seriously, a bunch of bullshit.

it's like what robin brown said, from now, it's a tainted title.

and quite frankly, i could care less about a video ipod. they don't have any episodes of "arrested development" for sale. fork that. if i'm gonna watch tv on my videopod, i want to watch my favorite show or at least some ali g episodes.

Oct 11, 2005

off the record


i don't know how many of y'all got sunday night's "curb your enthusiasm", besides being brutally funny, it was a piece of television i could relate to. in case, you didn't see it, cheryl complains to larry about how his maid doesn't wear a bra and if she doesn't start to wear a bra, cheryl wants to fire her; so larry decides to buy his house keeper a bra. now, the whole buying somebody a bra isn't the relatable part, it's the whole being uncomfortable and unable to focus in on class with some girl's crack hanging out all over the place. you know, i've said this before many, many times. it's distracting when you're taking some mid term and there's a lacey vicotria's secret logo hanging all over the place. you know, us, dudes have like this mutual agreement with the jeans and how we pull up the boxers a little bit, but there's no agreement between ladies and their jeans. now, i know that i'm complaining about nothing, but let's remember that we're in school and its not last call at the fox sports grill on a thursday night. lets slightly nice up the dance a bit.


learn to love this picture because you'll be seeing it all week long. to me, beating the yankees, although it seems like a common thing the past couple of years in the playoffs, is just as good as winning the world series. chi tea sox/angels will definately go the limit and it'll be one helluva of a tester.


i know our friends at getty sorta ruined the photo, but i think you can see where i'm gonna go with it right? jessica biel isn't the sexiest woman alive, she more or less looks like that soccer mom with her louis vitton backpack on buying like two cases of juice boxes. she's gotta that renee zewilligger chensey vibe or at least she just ate a bunch of sour patch kids.

now, i was gonna take the rest of the week off, but i had to come back due to last night's "laguna beach". while the whole prom portion of the episode was sorta lackluster. well in comparsion to the first season's prom episode, i.e. the drunken stephen & kristin in the limo after the promo, using props for their conversations, amazing. yet, alex h, whom i adore, had to come out and slam inland orange county. why did she have to make the accusition that casey reinhardt is from inland orange county. i live in the inland portion, so now, alex h is only fueling the fire that casey reinhardt is my sister. we all know that she's not my sister. and the thing is that, inland orange county, like mission viejo isn't as bad as alex h made it out to be. the problem with the greater mission viejo/alisio viejo/rancho santa margartia area is that all the homes look the same and everybody drives a suv. the make up isn't that garish. the only difference mission viejo and laguna beach is about 10 minutes.

still love that alex h though.

and finally, as i made mention, i am going to be take the rest of the week off and it might spill over into the following week. not burned out or anything, there's just alot of other stuff going on right now; need to focus in on that stuff.

Oct 10, 2005

santana's town


um...yeah, i was sweating bullets during the 9th with k-rod, but i shouldn't have worried since it's santana's town.

'ey!

and if i was george steinbrenner, i'd totally sue randy johnson & afraud or at least ask for my money back. seriously, didn't they buy those chokers to come through in 'the clutch' in moments like this?

my aim is true


the other day, i was watching reruns of "degrassi junior high" on the n (what, i just got digital cable) and i saw this weird video for a group called the veronicas. well, take that back, it wasn't a group, as much as it was two girls that dress like avril lavigknee from three years ago. now, i'm not going to say a bunch of junk about mall punk or bubble gum punk, because, that's what this current crop of pop stars that want to look like rockers, but are so straved for attention, they have to be pop stars, but anyways, it's just weird because, here are twin sisters singing bad songs or at least from my perspective, bad song, probably the target audience for groups like this would like 'em, you know the a typical viewer of the n, but anyways, here are these twins, presented in a sort of sexized manner and i dunno, its sorta creepy to force the 'ooooh, twins,' sexual fantasy to a 12 year olds watching degrassi. i mean, isn't that a lil' too young to pushing that marketing campagin? let alone naming a pop group, the veronicas? can anybody actually say 'veronica' in a normal tone? cause i know, when i say 'veronica,' i say it elvis costellio style.

i partially understand the whole twins thing, but at the same time, doesn't it creep you out? basically, we're fantasying over incest. and that time, i checked, that's very gross.

i need to learn how to pick and choose my battles or at least the most important ones like starting that rumour about major league baseball announcer tim macraver being involved with the axis of evil and how north korean dictator kim jong il is on his buddy list and like getting manoxeric actors topher grace & adam brody to come to tommy's and eating triple chilli cheseburgers. not to mention, my ongoing feud with the writing staff of "the oc". now, i have to add another battle to that list, dudes, its me vs esquire magazine. now, it's pretty much assumed that things like "sexiest such and such alive" is entirely subjective, but still the person has to be a gimme, like i said earlier. now if jessica biel truly is the sexiest woman alive, then why was she the second guest on conan o'brien last friday night? she was behind napoleon dynamite and the whole interview was about a movie that came out a year and half ago. now, if she was the sexiest woman alive, she'd the first guest and there wouldn't be a recoil effect when you see her on conan cause her make up artist is done by some 13 year old goth girl. yes, jessica biel is attractive, but she's nowhere near the sexiest woman alive. that's like say, brit brit and k-fed are gonna be the kind of parents you'd see in an norman rockwell painting.

and another battle, i'm taking on, is the major league conspiracy known as the yankees. yes, perhaps i'm bitter about sunday's lost and i'm going to bitter about the traffic i'm going to sit through tonight due to game 5 being at angels stadium, but, i'm sorry, major league baseball has fixed this series in favor of the yankees. we live in a world where sports live or die on their ratings and quite frankly (stephen a smith steez), a world series between the chi tea sox and the cards will do about as well as upn's tuesday night line up. where as the yankees bring in the viewers, and looking at who is left, they're the only big market team. sure, the angels claim to be l.a., but we're still in very large blue shadows. you know for some reason much like the dallas cowboys and l.a. lakers, the yankees' is america's team. they're the team that everybody loves because alot of people are unorignial and love a winner and they're the team that everybody loves to hate, so apparently, we watch to see them lose. look at the tv coverage for the baseball playoffs so far, was there ever a cardinals game on fox? the two games i caught were on the deuce; the cards, even though they had the best record, weren't even good enough for regular old espn, but look at the fact, that a majority of the yankees games have been fox. so you have to think that mlb is doing whatever they can to keep the yankees in it and if it means, canceling a game after the yankees were taken out like a teenage girl in a argento film. from what i saw on the bronx on saturday, it looked okay to play baseball in. it didn't seem that bad; looked as bad as it did on friday night. but no, no, no, no, we need to call it and play on sunday so we can give our golden cash cows an extra day to prepare. its bad enough that mlb keeps tim macraver employeed, now, these jokers fix games.

but, i'm more frustrated that i'll have to sit stadium related traffic on the drive home and its not one of those situations where i could hang out after class and chit chat with peeps cause its a test and right after, tests, everybody is like, seeyalaterbye.

another thing, its not a battle or cause i'm taking up, it's just mere frustration. okay, who else waste storage space on their tvios/dvrs with ashlee simpson not fucking up on snl? i mean how disapointing was that? sure, that episode of snl was beyond awful and the buried the best sketch (the fake comercial about the black eyed peas during your corporate parties), but that was expected. yet, ashlee simpson comes out and doesn't lip sync? what gives? what am i supposed to make fun of? oh wow, she's not a good singer and she's got yarn extensions in her hair, big whoop. and i'm not even asking for a lip sync, i'm just asking for her to do something shocking; like ripping a picture of nick lachey and calling him the devil or something interesting. sure, she got computers putin' cause everybody was bored by her.

now, i know that everybody or at least alot of dudes have been enjoying the anne hathaway nsfw action; it's good, but here's the thing, like the company my father works helped get that movie off the ground; it was before he got there, but in some way, he's sorta responsible.

dudes, here is your chance to watch one of the best films of the year and i'm not saying that because i know the director; colter freeman's facility 4 is screening this saturday, october 15 at noon during the la screamfest at universal city walk. seriously, this movie is amazing and i'm gonna try to make it up there myself. for more info on facility 4, click here.

and finally, now you know that if i don't make in the business of show or as a writer, i most likely want to be in the food business. not cooking or anything, but managing resturants. my dream or at least one of them, is to open a roscoe's house of chicken and waffles in orange county; located near the bars of newport beach, but closer to costa mesa, so i have street cred. so you know how places like starbucks are built to be hang around in and well, basically be the home for the unemployeed and struggling writers, but you go into jamba juice and it's get in and get out or at least, get in, wait 5 minutes, then get out. you rarely see people being slothful in a jamba; jamba people are on the go. so why not a drive-thru jamba? how easy would it make your life if you could just pull up and get your ahola pineapple without getting out of your car? you just finished a work out, but don't want to get out of your car? just pull through and get it at the end of the line. now, the jamba process is a bit slow, but here's the thng, hire more kids. just imagine a drive thru jamba juice, then we'll be living in the future.

Oct 7, 2005

you can't imagine the fun we're having


i don't read esquire magazine and i don't know anybody personally who reads esquire magazine, so i actually don't know how out of touch with the world at large they are, but i came assume that they're pretty out of touch with dudes. like we're in san diego and they're trying to touch us while they're in alaska. to say that jessica biel is the sexiest woman alive is a bit of strencth. personally speaking, the only time i thought she was sexy was when she was sorta showin' her knobs in gear magazine. to name an individual the sexiest such and such alive is such a ludacris statement, because it's so subjective. sexiest is different from person to person and in my case, from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. like if you were to ask me who's the sexiest person out there on a friday morning, i'll probably say aubrey from "making the band 3" then an hour or two later, i'll probably say alex from "laguna beach," because i'm that weird. so we have that out of the way, now, let's focus in on this, when you declare a person to be one of the choosen sexy ones, make sure it's a house hold name. sure, jessica biel has been in movies and tv shows, but has she ever been in a hit movie? a movie that we all went out on openning day to see and were gland that we saw it? nope or at least for me, it has yet to happen. sure, we all love that 10 minute short film in the middle of the rules of attraction, but the rest of that movie? god awful. and did you ever watch an episode of "7th heaven"? i didn't and i don't know anybody who did cept for this guy i used to be friends with in high school and it was weird cause he had a crush on the middle sister. but anyways, to name a person that most people don't know about as the sexiest person alive so shows that your editiorial staff is just pullin' on the peters. like i except that type of editiorial decision from maxim, but isn't or at least, at one time, wasn't esquire a respectable magazine?

maybe, the thing i'm trying to get at, is that regardless of the magazine and subjectvity of said title, the title of sexiest woman alive should be somewhat agreeable by most dudes, even if it's a dude saying, "yeah, she's pretty good, but she's no rachel bilson." there has to be a gimme factor, a loud, annoyning 'come onnnnnnnnnnnn,' beating them into submission factor to the person and jessica biel has none of that in spades. she's too muscular, she's not funny, she probably listens to bad records and when she watched crouching tiger, hidden dragon it was the dubbed version, so you know how sexy is that?

it's so weird because i'm in such 'wake me up when this semester is over' mood that i completely forgot that one james murphy and lcd soundsystem will be making an apperance in the orange curtain in a week from yesterday. why am i not losing sleep over this? i remember the first time i was going to see lcd soundsystem, it could've been the hellacious head cold i had, but the week leading up to that fateful saturday in the desert, i couldn't sleep at all. like i was zombie, went two days in a row without getting more than three hours of sleep total and i even went to school in that state. although, it could be said, that i just went to school to check out the infamous history of rock girl. but, i think i just got too many things going on right now to be stressed out over lcd soundsystem being in the orange curtain, yet i feel it's my duty to be there, represent and dance until i can't dance no more. thursdays are my long days, so i must remember to take a nap before the show. but if you have yet to see lcd soundsystem, you should totally go to the house of blues in anaheim next thursday night. just remember, most likely, you won't even have to set up your dvr for "the oc" or more importantly, "reunion".

while the new broken social scene album is growing on me and i'm lking more and more with each listen, i just have to wonder if anybody else is having issues with hearing the vocals while in the car? while the album begs for you to play drums on the steering wheel, i think its a headphones record, so you can pick up on the subtle lyrics. do i need to re adjust the mix on the speakers or something else?

and a big thanks to uncle grambo for the shout out the other day. i've said it before and i'll probably say it again, but if it wasn't for whatevs, there'd be no skeet on mischa and there'd be no me talking with random girls about pop culture and during the conversation, i make the gesture of typing in air, so you know, its a really weird convo.

Oct 6, 2005

don't look now


i guess since i have a blog, i'm supposed to write about these things like the spawn of tomkat and the lindsay lohan demolation derby and the donzo-ness of jessica simpson & nick lactchey, but the thing is, i don't care about these people. do these people make good records? no. do they hang out with killa cam and all over the cobrasnake? nope. do they know how to stop yankees' rookie senstation, robinson cano? most likely not. can they help me get a copy of "the state" on dvd because i'd love to see the "you'll always give me a boner" skit? i don't think so. do they know james murphy and do they constantly ask him to squash his beef with death from above1979 so we could get a dfa remix of dfa79? no way jose. do they make good movies? nope. well, retract that, loved mean girls and magnolia is in my top 5 of all time, but those ones aside, do they make good movies? and that one where katie holmes showed her knobs, that was a good one, too. but all those movies aside, do they make good movies? not in my lifetime. unless, like these people start calling shows like "curb" and rap music a 'street drug' or they start to show up on stuff i like, ruining it, then i'll say something, but you know, these people don't affect me in any way and frankly, if we all leave them alone, maybe they'll just go away. remember how much better the world was without joe simpson having any form of success? i mean, do you even remember when you didn't know who joe simpson was? remember when tom cruise was remotely normal when we just accused of him being gay and thought nicole kidman had ice in her veins? well, i'm gland that the world got nicole kidman in that divorce, but remember when tom cruise would just be sorta normal and only be mildly douchey? why can't we go back to those days? let's just ignore them everybody. if lindsay lohan has a new single and nobody illegal downloads that, is she still singing? think about it. [lohan car accident photos via goldenfiddle aka cnn]

um, yeah, i gotta go back to pomona one of these days. don't know why, but i just get down there one of these days; probably hit some crazy good mexican joint and maybe the glasshouse for a show, but yeah, i gotta get back there one of these days very soon.

i know i'm one to say i love southern california because of the weather, but right now, i'm gonna say it sucks. i hate santa ana winds. there is no reason why it should be 94 degrees during october. you know, this is the time of year where you're supposed to wear your new killer paul frank hoodie, but when it's in the 90s, you're still in shorts mode.

bummer, dudes.

i dunno what was more intense: the angels putting the series in knots or the episode of "lost"? i'm probably gonna say the game, but only cause that "lost" was pretty weak sauce in spots; i'd say more, but i don't want to spoil it for those who taped it.

and finally, i have to say who ever the music supervisor for this season of "laguna beach," is doing an excellent job. seriously, the idea of using journey songs to underscore the failied love connection between stephen & l.c. is beyond brills murray.

and i really need this shirt; like i needed it yesterday. make it two, just in case, my sweat satins get a little outta hand.

Oct 5, 2005

susanne


does anybody remember when weezer used to make songs like "susanne"? whatever happened to those days? and you know, that in some garage in southern california, there's a song like that being written about rachel bilson and it'll be pretty bad.

yeah, i know. scoreboard.

but, bo sox fans, scoreboard, bitches.

so, we both equally sucked yesterday, but at least it wasn't a massacre. what happened to david ortiz and why wasn't manny being manny? i know that the angels' offense was in the shitters last night, but i mean, come on.

well, i shouldn't say, i know because half of the game i was on the phone with earthlink tech support, attempting to re establish an internet connection on the g5. yeah, its back, but there's no internet on it. basically, it's one thing after another. so having the computer is a good thing, but when you're sitting on hold for half an hour and basically, the tech guy is getting you nowhere and you're hungry and your team is losing, you just want to hang up and drink. it's like if you're gonna out source your call center, then why do i have to wait for thirty minutes? doesn't that defeat the purpose of cheap, ineffective labor.

too much negativity going on these days.

a heads up to all of my la people who watch the veronica mars, it will not be on wednesday; its being pre empted by the angels/yankees game that'll be on espn, but you know, it'll be on 13 for those without cable. so she mars will be on saturday night at 9p, reset your dvrs accordingly.

here's another one of my problems with mtv's reality show, if the premise of the show is about we, the viewer picking the reality show we want to see, then why not have regular folks as the weekly judges instead of a bunch of 14:59ers. just because they've been on reality shows before, doesn't mean they know what the people want. and yes, basically, the role of a judge/critic on this show is to make jokes about andy and play off him, but at the same time, it's not fun to watch some person from a show i never watch attempt to throw a zinger. or at least mix it up with the reality critics, get the golden boy of blogs, trent up there to make some jokes; the dude will be ten times funnier than those brothers who were on that show that lead to that divorce and one of those brothers is banging kristin from "laguna beach" and it looked as if they were asleep half the time.

and i gotta be honet with y'all, my man, nick roses didn't bring it last night. the concept was hiliarious, but something in the delievery, made it just fall apart. maybe, i just want to see nick roses kicking down doors, doing drug busts and shouting, "roses, nick roses"; you know using his name to the fullest. then we had the miss teen usa girl, shelley, i think i'm in love with her simply cause she's a struggling slashtress and you know, there's a part of me that believes that if i hit up like breakdown express and put out a casting notice for like 18 to 20 year old girls and you know, get her head shot and send her some sides and like, you know, cast in a movie and i dunno, just hang out. i think i want to do what they did in audition minus the body in the burlap sack.

a movie like waiting is something that i feel that i'm above; you know, if somebody were to ask me if i were going to see it, i'd say something like, the day i slit my throat is the day i'll watch that movie. i always prefer to be harsh and overtly dramatic so the yoke is missed completely. you know i watch "c.y.e." and "arrested development," so i'm above this junveillie humor and what not. yet, here's the thing ever since i got hbo, i've found myself watching these movies that i feel i'm better than. last weekend, i was flipping around and i stopped on dodgeball: the movie and i could not stop watching it. i had a paper to write, but it didn't matter because i was transfixed by this movie. it wasn't a matter of it was so funny that i have to keep on watching, it was more of a matter of when i'm going to laugh and i just hung around to see something funny and actually, did laugh. but then, i pressed my luck and tried to watch starsky & hutch, well, take it back, i thought vince vaughn was pretty funny. maybe, its from these random viewings on hbo i'm learning that i'm not above these wacky premiese comedies, it's just that i'm above ben stiller performances in wacky comedies. although, ben stiller isn't in waiting, it just has that zany comedy vibe to it that i wouldn't want to pay 10 bucks to see but apart of my monthly plan, i'll pay 10 bucks a month to catch it along with a few dozen showings of don't tell mom the baby sitter is dead

i guess, this week has been the 10th anniversary of the oj verdict and people have been waxing poetic about where they were when the verdict was read or how the verdict has affected the cultural landscape of america. well, i don't wanna bore you with thoughts about racial matters in america, i'll just tell where i was, it was 8th grade and we had a rotating class schedule, so i think it was second period, but anyways, it was spanish 2 and the teacher was like the mayor of laguna beach or at least on the city council of laguna beach and like on public access on the weekends, you could see him in city councils meetings, which could be a buzz kill cause like at the time on the public access channel on saturday night, had a naked talk show. so to see your spanish teacher when you're young and looking to see big fake boobies; total buzz kill. and remember this was the mid 90s, so we all thought our spanish teacher was gay because he spoke his spanish with a lisp and well, he was on the laguna beach city council and he had this weird voice, sorta like vincent prince, but not really. actually, he had a vincent prince vibe. so like we had to twist his arm to watch the verdict being read, but he let us watch it, then everybody was bummed out, then like the rest of the day had a weird vibe because we thought oj was going to be interviewed by like katie couric that night and how there shouldn't be any homework so we could watch oj. thats my oj story.

Oct 4, 2005

forgot me now


is it me or has tv been like at like its funniest the past couple of weeks? like sunday night, monday night, and tuesday night have been full of laughs. and i just wonder how much longer can it last? how many more weeks are we going to have night after night after night of smart, solid comedy where some one overweight guy isn't married to some knockout of a wife. who do i owe for this great gift of laugther i'm getting? do they want a mixtape? i can't do that right now because i'm in the process of losing all the bob dylan stuff i just downloaded on my g5, but anyways. not to mention, the number of comedic geniuses working back to back. first, we have larry david & ricky gervais on sunday, then "arrested development," and to top it off the american verion of "the office" to end this three dog night of comedy. am i the only one freaking out about how good we have it right now? i feel like i'm the only one watching these in my class about sitcoms. so everybody, watch these amazing shows and tell your friends to watch these shows or at least tivo these shows to save for a rainy day. it'll make your dvr smile if you fill it up with larry david.

who saw "laguna beach" last night? holy moly and by holy moly, i'm talking about alex m or h, but you know, kristin's friend, alex. the girl took it to whole other level with her backyard fiesta, then her monologue about how she hates waves, brills murray, dude, brills murray. i think i have to claim alex as my favorite laguna beach-er. she's way cooler than lo and for some reason, she seems like the only person on that show who would be pretty cool or at least half way decent if you met them in person. like if you saw alex or lc in a bar, which would be the one you're gonna buy a drink for? alex because she look like she wants to have fun all the time and she'll tell weird stories about the show was bullshit and about her little dog where as l.c. will just talk about fashion and how much the show has hurt. you know, i should really read that article about the show in rolling stone, but you know, i haven't been interested in an issue of rolling stone since i was in the 11th grade. so the l.b. is definately picking up steam in its home stretch where as "my super sweet 16" is sorta played out. frankly, it's been played out since that jazmin girl. everybody after her, has been exactly like everybody else. so i think its time to officially call that show, 'donzo'.

seriously, i thought i was going to escape the next couple of weeks without having to step into a record store, but sadly, i'm probably gonna have to. first and formost, new my morning jacket album, and new broken social scene and new ladytron featuring the criminally underapperciated single, "destroy everything you touch". so, yeah, how does your george w bush expect to live in this america with these high gas prices and film fees and all this good music coming out? not even talking about dvds and such.

isn't there something more the president can do about these gas prices and the whole gas situation other than telling people, don't drive unless you have to. can he intervive and say like, 'this is redonklicous, dudes. everybody has charge 2 bucks' isn't there more he can do or at least a better form of advice or guidance he can give other than, don't drive unless you have to. thats the type of advice i'd expect out of the finacial advier lady on npr's "day to day," not out of the president. can't he just pop up and say, "all right, people, i've been fucking up the past five years, so to say, sorry, everybody gets free gas for the rest of my term." if bush is looking for a way to improve his approval ratings, give away free gas. its the same thing morning zoos do whne they're desperate for ratings. i bet you dollars to donuts, if nbc could figure out way for a successful exchange of gas cards for people who actually sit through monday night line up of shows, they would so do that.


this is the face of the man who's preempting all of your favorite shows on fox for the next month or so. sure, the angels are in the playoffs and it'll make missing "reunion" seem a bit okay if they go far in the playoffs, but if it's joe buck's favorite two teams of all time, the yankees & the red sox, then i'm gonna throw up and protest and write angry letters to my local fox station. while i grew up with the greatest of homer broadcasters: chick hern & vin scully and its all fine and well, when its a local broadcast, but when it's a network game, joe buck, you have to remove the genitals of the new york yankees from your mouth in order to properly call a game. i just don't understand the discard most of the sports writers have the other teams in the playoff mix outside of the yankees & red sox. it's not a great rivalary, it's shitty. it's boring. it's predictable. its the same thing each year, red sox buy some player, yankees buy even better players in a move out of the cold war. then it's neck and neck race, with usually the yankees coming out victorious. i'm done with it. i don't need to see it. you know, they made a movie about the red sox and guess what, nobody fucking saw it. you can buy it at your local super market for 10 bucks. unless, you're a baseball nerd, nobody knows anything about the other teams in the playoffs. well, i take that back, they know that roger clemens pitches for the 'stros and how amazing he is. but that's all anybody ever seems to talk about. i don't care. and then you have the brain surgeron, tim macraver working along joe buck. i think they pulled a couple of kids fresh out of the maternity ward, they'd make more insightful comments than tim macraver.

there are four things that have ruined baseball: the new york yankees, joe buck, boston red sox and tim macraver. fuck your steroids. i'll glandly take a bunch of juiced players over joe buck ruining a game. joe buck should stick to yucking it up with troy aikman on sunday afternoons. and heaven help us, if fox ever gets nba games.

and on the positive side, that dj shadow public works mix cd is very nice. very nice. if you don't want to drop 35 bucks on a shirt, it's out there.

Oct 3, 2005

fixing a hole


remember the days of phoebe cates? all be it, i was probably one years old when she broke onto the scene, but i've become very well aware of phoebe cates' charm after all these years. and it's not like i want the phoebe cates to make a comeback; the fact that she left the biz is what made her a legend or a key individual in many a man's puberty. we're in debt to kevin kline. yet, here's the problem, where is this generation's phoebe cates? you know, phoebe cates had that ever so precious the girl next door vibe, but at the same time, she would do nudity in a film if the part would call for it, not to mention, the whole being a key figure in the puberty of an entire generation. maybe cause i wasn't fully functional at the time, but i want to assume that phoebe cates wasn't all in our faces dropping horrible pop records inbetween making movies and stumbling out of clubs drunk next to some weirdo guy who looks he's from the allman brothers band, but he's like 20, so he probably has extensions cause he's only been into southern rock for like six months, but that's beside the point. the point is, where are the phoebe cates of today? where are the young starlets are going to say, "eh, i'm doing the movie, private school and they want me to be topless and they're offering me extra money to do it." okay, actresses of today, if you have the offer to do nudity in a film, you know that extra 100 grand could make for an awfully nice down payment on a house.

is it me or am i picking up a very desperately seeking susan vibe here? can't you just hear 'into the groove' blasting in the background and probably somebody is in the bathroom using the hand dryer to do their hair. and i'd say some other stuff, but that's all i remember of that movie or maybe since it's hipsters, maybe, its like that tilly & the wall song that references 'into the groove'.

anybody else watch the trailer for the new woody allen film, match point and say any of the following things: a) i thought that was the movie closer was supposed to be and b) are you sure this is a woody allen movie cause the music cues are a tad over done, but it still looks good, like crimes & misdemeanors

i finally took my g5 into the shop the other day. i figure that it shouldn't be making the same noises that the plane on "lost" did as it crashed onto that wacky island. and what a surprise, i had a problem with something, specifically, the whole concept of the apple store. i like my apple products and what not, but the whole concept of 'the genius bar' just rubs me the wrong way. whatever happened to just telling the tech guy that your computer is sick and it makes weird noises and that you have apple care, then you left the thing with the guy to fix and they would call you when its done? that seemed like a solid game plan. you know, it was a first come, first serve basis. but with the genius bar, you have to make an appointment to see a genius. okay, its nice that apple wants to give its employees 'cool, fun, zany' titles, but they're not geniuses, they're tech guys. and from what i saw as i waited for my name to called as if i was waiting at the post office, all they did was look at peoples' ipods, then put them into boxes to be sent somewhere else to be fixed. and its such a hassle to bring anything into the apple store because they are located at awkward spots in the mall. so i had to lug the computer from the parking structure all way to the mall and just sit there while some dink tried to get his ipod fixed. then when its your turn to get it fixed, the dude isn't really paying attention to you and you have to basically yell over the way too loud itunes and girls complaining about the computer shut down on them while they're using myspace and like kids asking to get ipods. it's just like, what happened to the days where you'd just go to a computer store and there'll be weirdo guys who smell like bath towels that haven't been washed in a few weeks buying external hard drives.

and for those keeping score, i'll be without my g5 for 5 to 7 business days and they said that i'll most likely lose all thats on my hard drive. so good bye to most of the first season of "zoey 101" i had saved.

i don't know why i keep on doing it to myself, but for some reason, i keep on watch "snl" each week with hopes that it'll be funny. but it never is funny. its just awkward and uncomfortable. i believe the way i react to new episodes of saturday night live is the same way people who don't get "c.y.e." must feel. did anybody else suffer from the muck of an episode on saturday night? why did they get steve carrell to host in the first place if they're not going to write skits featuring him? you know, i just don't get it and i just don't understand how after what like 6 or 7 seasons, horatio sanz still has no concept of comedic timing as he stumbled through weekend update. uf.

finally, while it's great to see that the angels have home field advantage in the playoffs, it won't be so great on the way home on wednesday as i sit there just stuck in traffic on wednesday night.

Oct 2, 2005

the big empty


people wonder why i don't like to have my back turned towards people in resturants and they also wonder why i generally don't like to eat in public.

well, i can answer why i don't like to eat in public because i assume i look like this when i eat.