&t skeet on mischa: 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Nov 30, 2005

phoning it

it shouldn't be too surprising that fox, the world's worst tv network canceled "reunion," this week, but i have a big problem as to why they canceled it. sure, it wasn't the best show on tv and it was awkward in that bugsy malone sorta of way, but you know, it was fun and mildly addictive. some exec said that it was canceled because the show had started off strong, but lost its audience over it. well, here's a reason why it may have lost its audience because it was on for about two weeks, then it was taken off for a month, so those cry baby chi tea sox could win a world series. also, it helps if you actually promote a show. the way that fox works is that it only promotes a single show for that night; its big time show, then just quickly mentions the show on after it; you know you'll get a full fledge promo for the oc, then that slimey voice guy will say, "reunion at 9". a name can't attract an audience, you gotta sell a bit of sizzle to those steaks, ma. so, as a fan of "reunion," i'm just left out there in the open, wondering why and who killed that one girl cause i don't think the cast and crew will hang around to crank out the last 10 or so episodes for the dvd.

sucks that fox is so 'grand openning, grand closing,' you know what i mean?

um, this probably is the best thing ever; although, the trailers are a bit nsfw, but terrifying girls' high school: lynch law classroom is probably one of the best movies ever made, way better than citizen kane

and this is pretty awesome, too.

Nov 29, 2005

skeet's ten actually interesting people of 2005

i looked over the list of people for barbara walters' ten most fascanating people of 2005 and frankly, none of those people are interesting. wow, lance armstrong has one ball and won the tour de fance again and is gonna marry some lady who only wrote one good song 11 years ago. oooh, the louis vutton don; he made a pretty good album and said that george bush doesn't care about black people; isn't that the same thing paul mooney has been saying all these years? the only interesting thing about terri hatcher, is finding out exactly where her boobs went. tom cruise, who gives a fuck.

now if you ask me, the following people are ten times more interesting than any of those lameys:

of course, this isn't the order of most interesting, it's just a bunch of people; wait until mid decemeber for lists from me and mark from hella awful


-now some of you may remember her as the apple bong girl from earlier this year, but beyond that, this girl has become the unofficial mascot for the l.a. social scene. she's like a girl from an antonioni film; attractive and mysterious and how exactly does she manage to be at the clubs and quite frankly, how does she not get photographed repeating an outfit?


-three 6 mafia; have you heard "stay fly" yet? it's the single of the year. and have you heard "the most known unknowns" as well? an equally amazing. sure, everybody has been talking about houston, but frankly, memphis is making the most interesting stuff in the southern rap scene; it's like vice said, three 6 is the new dip set.


-not everybody is on the list because they're good people or they did great things. some people on this list, like peter liguori, president of fox broadcasting, seen with "arrested development" creator and genuis, mitchell hurwitz., are on the list cause they're complete and utter assholes. maybe i live in a dream world where shows will stay on the air because they're smart and funny and its not just 22 minutes of jokes about giant fake tits or how the father is affraid that his son is gay and they can hold numbers, but i live in the world i live and i watch tv in the world i live in and frankly, peter liguori is ruining television. yes, tv is an industry, but here's the thing, once you move a show like "the war at home" from the 'single guy' slot between "the simpsons" and "family guy," watch how well it'll hold its numbers. also, loguori is canceling "arrested," because its doing bad in the ratings, but look at shows like "malcolm in the middle," and "bernie mac," they're doing worse than "arrested," in the ratings. so seriously, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you, peter loguori, you ralph nader motherfucker. special fuck you to the people who make promos at fox; i have to ask you, does your avids explode whenever you get footage from "arrested development," cause that'll maybe explain why we only saw 5 promos for the show during the entire show. every two seconds, i'm hearing about prison break (the finale, was a cop out, btw), bones, house, the oc, well, in other words, every single show but "arrested."


-pat o'brien, his girl, betsy and the woman who leaked the voice mails, thank you. thank you for being the first and only really great scandal of 2005. thank you for being the inspiration for millions and millions of phoney phone calls. thak you for bring back, "let's get crazy!" as well as making, "hey, it's me," even more creepy and uncomfortable than ever imagined. not to mention, how quickly, america forgave pat o'brien; how crazy was that? you know, he came out and said that he had a problem, cleaned up, and now, well, we don't love him; we sorta like him the same way we like that crazy uncle. if you weren't clean, pat, we'd call up some hookers, get some coke, be into betsy and frankly, go crazy.


-bun b is more interesting than 50 or any real big name rapper because, to me, it just seems, bun b is doing guest spots on everybody from the south's album, simply to scream, 'free pimp c.' not to mention, "drapped up," was one of the best rap songs of the year.


-nancy whang, isn't the first name that leaps out when you think of the dfa collective, but there's just something about her at an lcd soundsystem show. she has the most stone face when she's playing live; if this music thing doesn't work out, she could become a guard at buckingham palace. also, nancy either co wrote or was on all the good songs on the juan maclean album from the summer. maybe, one of these days, we'll get a solo record.


-you knew that this was coming, right? after a string of quality mixtapes, a good group album and a couple of fun solo records, not to mention, the leader of the movement getting shot and managed to keep his car, but frankly, i didn't even really think that 2005 is the year for dips. this year was just about getting the ball rolling and it'll knock over g-unot next year.


-i think the best thing about 2005 has been the revenage of the boobs. in 2004, boobs were seen as evil, but this year, boobs are back and better than ever, thanks in large to diora baird[nsfw] and keeley hazell [nsfw]. maybe, its cause these girls are sorta natural, but never the less, we can't get enough of these girls.


-paris latsis isn't interesting cause he used to date paris hilton, if anything that makes him, less interesting and a person that you wear a biohazard suit around. no, what's interesting about paris latsis, is how can he have so much money being a greek shipping heir, yet dress like he shops only at the good will in the ozarks or at least paris' stylist is one of thoe weirdo deliverance, gummo guys from the appalachians. i guess, paris is scared of losing his money, but come on, its okay to drop a dime on a ralph lauren button up now and then.

-trent from pink is the new blog is interesting because he's manage to turn this blog thing into tv apperances and hang out sessions with celebrities in addition to writing a really great blog on a daily basis.

Nov 28, 2005

wayland flowers & madame


dude, i think rachel b is just as bored as everybody else is with the skeet shoot as of late. then again, how interesting can the misadventures of an individual who spends his weekend constantly looking over his shoulder, so nobody will see him enjoy a song by she wants revenge (yeah, the dude sounds exactly like paul banks and sure, they use way too much drum machine, but come on, "tear you apart," is extremely catchy, even if it's like fourth grader's attempt to write a joy division song) while tracking the hopeful box office failure of the latest ryan reynolds vehicle.

you know me, i could care less about the split between satan's daugther (jessica simpson) and the future number 1 cars salesman in ohio, nick lachey; its like i've said before, unless, this divorce somehow affects first week sales of juelz santana's album, then i could give a shit. well, i do have some feelings on the matter, how stoked must nick lachey be? the dude can finally live his life. i just don't see the papapparazos following him around all too much cause, the dude is a dude and is gonna do dude things. he's gonna go to sports bar and hopefully start some new version of leo dicaprio & tobey maguire's pussy posse with like matt leinart and stephen & jason from mtv's "laguna beach". watch out, ladies of manhattan beach, here comes a couple of never was beens and a dude who will probably have a decent pro career.

and i go to the supermarket and see all of these in touchokpeoplecelebritylivinglifestylesstarus weekly magazines and i just realize how out of touch i am with the world. i guess jennifer aniston showing some side boob on a magazine that nobody i know reads is causing a hot feud between angelina jolie and her. really? a hotness feud? first off, this magazine, i don't remember which one because they're all the same, but these wieners called the gq cover something that shocked the world. side boob is shocking these days? especially jennifer aniston's side boob? um, did they ever watch an episode of "friends,"? honestly, you can count the times on your hand that jennifer aniston actually wore a bra on that show. the braless aniston pheomonea even made it onto an episode of "married with children," so her side boob isn't shocking. okay, what's shocking is that there's no exit plan in iraq, yet. that's more shocking than a side boob and a hot feud between two women who'll probably look as sketchy as meg ryan does these days. i have to wonder how some one whose folks probably dropped a gem on college and journalism school for them, ends up spending their career cranking out stories about jennifer aniston's side boob. sure, i'm writing about this, but i have nothing to better to do with my life and the extent of my journalism background is a couple of class in community college where the i wrote an article about a water polo goalie that got a 'c' cause it was more about the person and less about the sport (sorry, water polo people scare me); so it seems okay for me to write about stupid shit like this, but these people went to college, like really good colleges to crank drivel about side boobs and weird mohawk baby mamas.

related to the new pussy posse, those dudes better add talan into the crew since his fake engagement is over [via perez hilton]; okay, so does this mean mischa b's fake/retaliation engagement to yours and mines' favorite faux dirtbag, cisco "my dad is the dude next to jack at most lakers game" alder; well, i shouldn't be too hard on the guy, his band does have a myspace and they totally don't sound like a broke ass version of the kings of leon; so maybe i should cut the dude some slack. he's got a bad band and mischa b and all i have is a case of crippling anixety and a blog named after mischa b.

hip hop site says that there'll be a nas/dj premier album in the near future. um, how does one spell brills murray again? because if that album actually happens, thats how you spell brills murray. i think that should be the trend in hip hop for 2k6, one rapper, one producer for the whole album. fuck akon singing the hooks, lets have more one producer albums like "magnificent city" the rjd2/aceyalone album.

daisy does america? more like lady g, cept not funny and really boring. and apparently since david arquette has something to do with it, its supposed to be important. dude, if david arquette has handing out coupons for lifetime supplies of mint cholocate chip ice cream cakes from baskin robbins and weekly hand jobs from alessandra ambrassio, i wouldn't even touch it with a ten foot pole.


doesn't donatella versace know it's christmas and not hellaween anymore? is it me or does she look alot like that witch from argento's suspiria?

related: some american writers are going to write the third mother film for argento; which is a good with a bad. good because it's the potential conclusion of a trilogy that's been waiting to end for nearly 25 years and you know, its argento returning to something argento does best; supernatural slasher films that don't make a lick of sense but have beautiful cinematography and beautiful editing and beautiful lighting and beautiful women, but at the same time, having two americans writing the screenplay, in particular, the writers of films like the toolbox murders remake and various b pictures, i dunno, just seems like a bad move; of course, argento will full input on the script and what not, but my fear is that american writers will make it too 'american,' you know what i mean? there's a difference between american horror films and italian horror films, regardless of the fact that the writers may or may not be giant argento fans, it'll just feel weird and well, a blanat cry for american financing and american actors and american distrubution. first things, american actors unless they're genre actors aren't going to take it seriously. sure, it isn't the latest ang lee film, but its better than "one tree hill." and the thing about american money and distrubution, well, money is money, but i don't believe that the film actually get a wide release; its like what happened with land of the dead. played in theaters for a few weeks, then out on dvd a couple of months later because it'll turn a bigger profit on dvd cause the fanbase will buy up the dvds like hoe cakes.

i'd want to see the film be argento's big breakout in america; earn him a rep other than the dad of the chick in that vin diseal movie, but you have to also consider, escape from l.a.; returning to things way too late in the career.


and finally, over the break, i managed to check out walk the line. it's an okay film. good performances and what not and well, a bit slow in parts. but i think, just as a whole, we need to put an end to biopics all together, especially ones about musicians. maybe i recently listened to a bit about those ironic moments in biopics by patton oswalt; you know a child version of paul mccartey sees a guitar, then wow, a few years later, he's in the fucking beatles. walk the line is just full of those generic moments where we, the audience knows what's going to happen to a young johnny cash later down the line; and well, it just seems like every biopic, the subject of it, was well, born in the south; didn't anybody in california do something great? why can't we get a brian wilson movie? they're cranking them about everybody, even though, we need to put an end to these things. it's the same movie over and over again. i haven't seen ray, but it's probably alot like walk the line.

Nov 25, 2005

there it go


anybody else catch lohan trying to grind with juelz santana last night on jay leno?

for those, who didn't see, i think it'll be on next week but like at 3 o'clock, but anyways, after the song, leno does his good night thing and just out of nowhere, lohan, well, not out of nowhere because she was a guest, but sorta like out of nowhere, she runs up to juelz and starts dropping it like it was hot and well, juelz sorta looked like how i would look in this situation, i don't know what to do.

Nov 23, 2005

son of kong

you have to exam how bad the '00s have been for jc chasez. the dude went from international pop senesation then to international pop senestation that dressed like a homeless person then to the guy who was anything but ironic with 'ironic' mullet then to an embarrasing solo album with a horrible song about women kissing women that even willam hung passed on then to that brief period where he was known as eva longoria's cooter warmer, now to, where a cameo on the cobra snake registers barely a blimp on anybody's pop culture radar except for people who are killing time before their friend gets off work, so they could film something as well as waiting for the last laundry load to finish.

and now, he's all creepy modern mountain man style. why doesn't he hang out with wade robson and do a special about how justin timberlake going solo ruined your careers.

have a good thanksgiving and seriously, watch "veronica mars" tonight or at least dvr it and tell me you'll watch it, but you'll just end letting it get deleted because there's that mini wonder showzen marathon on thanksgiving night, but you know, just humor me and told me you checked it out.

probably see ya on monday.

pet sounds is like everybody's favorite album


clearly, lohan is in her cure phase because i don't want to believe that one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, jared leto has that much power to change a woman that quickly, then again, jared leto is evil.

although, i have to wonder if lohan is the resident japanese school girl in her party crew or if she's interested in the concept of peace, like john lennon was. i bet you that lohan is way into john murtha and thinks that jean schmidt is way meaner than paris hilton and regina george combined.

sucks to be skateboard p; no solo album until my birthday and no, don't get me the pharrell solo album for my birthday either, thank you and i'm sorry, skateboard, but your chain looks some necklace that a 7th grade girl would make during the summer out of the soda can tabs. so, in other words, forget your solo album and forget your ugly sneakers and just focus in on giving the public a new clipse album; cause the release date went from sometime in 2020 to april 2004; now i don't have a time machine to cop the new clipse album.

a memo to juelz santana
re: the bonus dvd
the next time you have a special dvd for your album, um, hire a better editor. i'm no stephen mirrione, but i could've done a better job than the dude who cut that thing. it just seems as if he captured everything and was like, this will be cool. but like after ten minutes of behind the scene footage for the "shootas" video without any titles or anything, it gets to be a bit draining. yeah, the jamacian guys playing checkers was cool, but that could've been a minute, not 5 minutes.

if you're a) into the alt.indie.porn.thats.not.really.porn.but.they.say.it.is.girls.who.sometimes.wear.
too.much.makeup.with.way.too.thin.eyeborrows.but.sorta.fit.bodies.thing and secondly, if you're eager to find something for your video ipod or add another podcast to subscription list, then check this out; while the link is sfw, the aftermath or the after effect or end result of your hard work will be very nsfw. and here's the thing, the video, its from the site, gods girls, which i guess, is going to become the new suicide girls or something. here's the thing, yeah, suicide girls does not know what the expression, quality control (i barely know it too); so it just seems like any girl with one of those nose piercings that reminds people of those rings in bull's noses do a set these days. while, it seems like myspace attention whores may be involved with the gods girls site, you have to admint that so far, it appears that they understand the concept, quality control. also, their video would've been ten times better if they used "shake that laffy taffy," instead of fischerspooner, but you see, that's the problem with the site.

i'd say something else, but i think everybody and their kid sister is phoning it today. either you got half day, no work, stressing out over your flight home, the 'rents coming over or going over to see the 'rents or they're basking in those few days to catch up on school before finals week crushes them. you know, it seems like the holidays are a time to get together and you know enjoy each others company, but it just seems everybody's too stressed out to do so.

not to mention, i'm personally super stressed out over having to film something today with a 16mm camera. i'm beyond the phase of getting sketched out because i'm too worried about breaking stuff; i'm now in the phase of just wanting to load the film properly, so i won't have to cut like 15 feet out of 100 feet roll of film cause it got eaten by the pick up real and its being torn to shreds.

and what didn't anybody tell that beyond "ageless beauty," that the quasi new stars album is actually really good.

Nov 22, 2005

window shopper


i'd think more people would've seen 50's movie if it wasn't about how he got shot 9 times and him taking his shirt like every three minutes, but instead, it was just about a dude using his fame to get a peek down maria menounos' blouse or something. like if 50 played urkel or a nerdy guy, people would be into the movie, not the biopic of hip hop's glen danzig. not to mention, g-unit lost all its cool point when the dude on "king of queens" is wearing one of their tees. and also, i lost a bit of my cool points, for watching "king of queens" and not even saying watching it cause of patton oswalt will save me.

btw, can anybody explain maria menounous' shift towards the soccer mom hair cut?

here, she is on november 17 with that good hair.


then like 12 or 15 hours later, its all gone and it just makes her look so old. she's on some jamie lee curtis in true lies stuff. i don't get it, but then again, i don't understand alot of things like the appeal of oprah and and dane cook.

i was going to say something about how i thought it was a pretty bold move by snl to have dane cook host the show in a couple of weeks because, i don't know how well known he is by the general public, but then i saw his myspace page and was proven wrong. not me, dane cook is nothing but a dude who screams alot with only a couple of decent jokes and one pretty killer joke (screw guys, we're going dancing), but i guess he has some sorta appeal and fan base. you know, people say that cucumbers taste better pickled and i guess, he'll pump some sorta life into snl, but i dunno, i would've thought eva longoria's camel toe would've brought some life to snl this past weekend, but it didn't. maybe, there'll be some sorta weird thing where the comedic stars aline or however you spell that word and with dane cook, maybe for once, the new cast will be funny for once.

or maybe, its just i'm so stuck in my ways and my cast was the ferrell/morgan years and i'm just too old for the new guys. my napoleon dynamite was rushmore, so you know, my sense of humor is quite different from their's.

has anybody else heard the aceyalone/rjd2 tracks yet? aside, from aceyalone yelling all over the tracks, its really nice; "heaven" is probably my favorite track so far. i think the album comes out in either february or january, which is too far away. it needs to be out today. sure, i could burn the cd, but you can't be cool when pulling up to a light and somebody else hears that you're listening to a quasi official leaked album.

yet the thing about the "magnificent city" album, it doesn't come out for a few months, yet its out there, but can anybody find a copy of "in my mind" by skateboard p yet or at least an instrumental version of it out there?

while the only decent thing about the latest real world/road rules gauntlet may be the apperance of cara zavaleta[nsfw], but i have to give my respect to the person who said, let's have all of the young, first timers on one time and all of the people whose second income is generated from the clothing companies that pay the old timers to wear on whatever challenge it is on another team. i like that because it keeps the young and sexy on one team where as the people like beth from real world 2, who's pushing 40, is on the other team, rocking her giant one piece. but here's the thing that'll make the show even better, is this, okay, if one of the veterns gets voted off or however they're going to elimidate people, is that once that person is gone, they're gone forever from these stupid challenges. we've made giant leaps with this new one because there's no coral, there's no failed pro wrestlers rocking faux hawks, and thankfully, there's no veronica. they've gone to carousel, but you see, there's far too people who also need to go in carousel on the veterns' team. isn't there a point where they would look at themselves in the mirror and say, "whoa, i'm too old for this. shit, i'm too old for vh-1." sure, its fun to be on tv and its fun to get pretty much a free trip to exotic locale during the summer, but you know, if the appeal of limelight is still calling you, then why not try to get a job as a host on g4tv or like the fox reality channel (why do we have a fox reality channel in the first place?)? please go back to your regular boring job and leave the tv for the young and sexy.

or at least, mtv should mix up the mix a bit by doing a "laguna beach"/"my super sweet 16" vs "real world"/"road rules" challenge the next time around. i know that bravo failed beautifully with their battle of the reality stars thing, but if mtv gets all of our favorite bratty kids and all of our favoriter neve was beens in some exotic locale and some lamey extreme sports guy with zero personality as the host, you got must seen season pass tv or at least must wait until that lol guy rips it and puts it on the torrent circuit tv. can you imagine the hottness of alex m of "laguna beach" fighting jamie from "real world: san diego" in some bizzaro sand, wet t-shirt, cold boxers, mud, whipped cream wrestling match and like r kelly is the host, i don't know how to spell brills murray better than that, dudes. but instead, we get the same 6 people year after year, boring. i may have to take a night class.

looking at these mischa b bikini photos [via egotastic], i have to wonder if the girl is into dudes who wear shirts when they go to the beach. now, i've been avoiding going to the beach for the past three or four years because i don't want to be that guy who wears a shirt while he's swimnig in the water because, it's like the biggest sign of a fat guy, but i remember seeing mischa b and brandon d having fun at the beach and the dude was wearing a fairly tall tee and looking at the king of the faux dirtbags, cisco alder, the dude is wearing his wife beater at the beach too. is this some new sorta fetish, guys who wear shirts while swimning? cause if so, i got a chance with mischa b, although, after looking at this photo, you have to admint that she really looks alot like falkor.

don't forget while you're picking up your xbox 360s, to pick up a copy of juelz santana's new album, "whats the game been missing!" and put it to like 14, volume wise when you're listening to "rumble, young man, rumble"

Nov 21, 2005

that laffy taffy


is it wrong that this photo is my wallpaper? with "arrested development getting the axe, coupled in with the unlikelyness of the home builders organization saving the show, "zoey 101" is my new favorite sitcom. have you given this show a shot yet? it's pretty funny and has some good subversive humor in it. although, we could use a season 1 dvd box set. and yeah, dennis from "head a looks pretty sister suspect in the photo, but you didn't hear that from me because i want to work on this show one day. and for those in the know, the future mindy mallard is in this photo.

has anybody seen or gotten that howard stern on demand thing? sure, one could hit google and find all the best nsfw-ness of valentina vaughn, but there's just something magical about seeing it in the old stern studio.

and speaking of things people have seen, anybody seen lars von trier's manderlay yet? i loved and hated dogville, but this one looks like its just going to be all sorts of hate and no love.

and finally, did anybody else see the bush press conference where he tried to leave in an attempt to dodge questions about real issues, but the doors were locked? it was pretty classic; it'll probably be on jimmy kimmel tonight. [ video here, if you didn't get the email at work or whatevs.]

i think this lady's kid rubbed her boogers on my g5 box when i was at the apple store the other day; no story or no joke there, just an event that happened to me. also, my computer matter was fixed by a woman, which i'm still not sure as to how i'm supposed to feel, cause you know, after all of these years, i just assumed that only men knew how to fix computers, much like cars, then again, there was that time, i had a girl build a skateboard for me, so yeah, i guess, its no big deal.

i'd be the mayor of front street, if i didn't say, i sorta liked that green lantern/that dude from linkin park mixtape; yeah, its the guy from linkin park and i'm the man who write a skit about a linkin park cover band in the early 2000s and the cover band only did one song (anybody want to see that video?), but any mixtape with juelz santana rapping over "sweet child o' mine," i'm gonna dig it. and you just know that 'dj' kid millionaire is creaming his designer jeans over that track with the bloc party sample. i probably won't pick up the fort minor album cause i don't think anybody has a budget to clear all of these samples, but you know, good show, mates.

on the mix tape front, this one is good and nice cameos like that jr writer track with cl smooth and the biggie tribute song. not to mention, the return of everybody's favorite mush mouth, max b, i defy you to tell me what's he rapping about. oddly, it has a 'halloween' vibe to me. although, buyer beware, you may have alot of these songs on the next dip set releases.


if you look closely, it appears that one josie maran has a rat tail and the only question that comes to my mind is when she did start to hang outside the humanities building at my school cause all the cool girls have them.

i know that the creator, producers and writers of "the oc" think the best way to solve their show's problem is plug in new characters that after 5 episodes or so, will be written out because they brought nothing to the table, but nikki reed on "the oc" is good casting. yeah, her character will suck, but at least, nikki reed is high school age and she can rewrite her dialogue on the fly, she was the co writer on that masterpiece, 13

ever heard that "poster of a girl" by metric? i can't make a solid connection between the photo and the song, other than both things are pretty killer and we've all been in that situation.

things we don't need #4080 another sequel to rush hour. first and formost, we need to live in a world where brett ratner is a glorified high school video production on the verge of getting fired for imporer conduct with a few of his female students, so to see that he has the potential to make more money on a single hachet job than i'll probably ever make in my whole life. is extremely upsetting, and not to mention, the dude makes it rather difficult to enjoy "prison break." then chris tucker is going to make 20 million for basically screaming for 85 minutes; sure, at one point or never, chris tucker could've been entertaining or funny, but the dude doesn't desevre that large of a paycheck because he only plays one character. thats why i don't like mike myers anymore; the dude only does three characters and all of them worn out their welcome sometime in the summer of '99. like the two dudes who do "wonder showzen," should be paid 20 million because that show is brilliant and unique and always trying to do something new, and well, they make people laugh. not to mention, we don't need anymore sequels. sure, coppola cranked out two more godfather films, but the second one, a fluke, is probably the best film ever made, but the third one was made to get out of debt, but these rush hour aren't the godfathers of buddy cop films, they're barely even the national lampoon's loaded weapon 1 of buddy cop films, so stop cranking them out. this is what's wrong with the film industry or at least diminishing ticket sales (harry potter 4's openning weekend aside), hollywood is focused on making films for the international market and less for the domestic market, hence all the sequels and remakes. its sorta easy to redbub and translate, than developing a story thats good with a great group of actors and a capable director. it's like i always say, even though, i stole the line from a piece of art by mike mills, why can't we be humans again?


when i first saw this photo, i thought talan was doing some little jerky dance and i was gonna write some lamey caption about, if you're about to get divorced in 9 months, do a stupid dance, but then upon closer inspection, it appears that he's doing nothing, but leaning back on a table. i wish i had known about the meet & creep because it was on a saturday and i was doing nothing but downloading eazy e songs and it was only a hop, skip and a jump away from me and i could've used the trip to the mall to pick up some new jeans; like the crotch on my second favorite paper is wearing out; its like dueling crotch rips and frankly, i think it was the reason why i got seated so slowly the other day at brunch. but oh yeah, talan looks a bit sketched and regretful. side note, does anybody else remember kim stewart's guest apperance on "undeclared" as lloyd's sister? she was actually pretty good in it; sure, most of her scenes were with seth rogen and well, "undeclared," was such a well written show, it wouldn't be too hard to fuck it up.

and, since the holiday season is just around the corner, that means, after reptitinous best of list after best of list, there'll be probably be very few updates, so with that said, i'm thinking of doing best of skeet on mischa, so if you have any requests, drop a line.

Nov 18, 2005

studio gangters


the thing about the kim stewart/talan from mtv's "laguna beach," engagement is this, well for once, it'll be the direct opposite of the audrey tautou film, a very long engagement and two, honestly, i don't think the two of them are in love, but more or less it was a decision based on coolness. i don't know about you, but sometimes, i'll watch a movie based on the title, for example, i'm dying to watch snakes on a plane because to quote samuel l jackson, "its snakes on a motherfucking plane," but if somebody told me to check out a film like secrets of a call girl, i'd need a little more info (you'd just have to say, its italian and it was made in the 70s and it would've been ordered from amazon in about ten minutes), but anyways, i think that kim stewart is the same way and basically, she was like, 'what the fuck, talan is probably the coolest name i've ever heard and he's not a dirtbag, so why not.' we have to remember that kim stewart was on the rebound from a relationship with joe francis and before that, the king of young hollywood faux dirt bags, cisco alder. so a kid fresh out of high school with a porn star name seems like jimmy stewart in comparsion. also, you have to wonder if this is a publicity stunt. we do live in the media savy, post tomkat world, where anything is possible, but then again, the whole concept of marry somebody famous to get famous, is to actually marry up, not marry or get engaged to someone on the same social level as you are. when you're barely scrapping the c list, you marry b list or lower level a list, not a d lister. hasn't kathy griffin's failed marriage and reality show taught us anything this year?

remember that scene towards the end of la dolce vita where they're all running to the beach, and like that one q-tip/hype williams video where they were running on the beach in black and white? yeah, i know, this would've been like ten times better if it were in black & white and so how, the beach is involved, but instead, some bloc party remix is playing really loudly and your kicks are kinda sticky from spilt drinks; maybe, i should go to one of these things before the next time i write a caption for one.

"oc" recap, well for one thing, it was certainly more entertaining than that sexy packing episode of "laguna beach," i don't know why, but whenever a character on a show starts to make references to alot of cult movies or if you will, non mainstream things, it feels like a wicked case of writer's hand or at least a case of beginning writeritis. i guess it fits within the character of seth cohen to be into new asian cinema, but at the same time, it just seemed like a few fellas in the writer's room are big battle royale fans or just checked out a few profiles on facebook and saw that alot of the 'cool' kids are into that film or those types of film and just threw them in there. of course, it was mostly made up titles, but you know, it just really forced and i'm sorry but i don't like it when network dramas shout out my favorite dvd company(how does one become an intern for them?). it just felt weird and forced. thats why i don't think i could write for a normal tv show because i'd want to slip in weird references to like altamont and pt anderson films. that just doesn't flow on a regular show.

beyond that, and the whole impending million dollar baby ryan storyline, i thought the episode was kinda decent. yeah, taylor tompkins was annonying and a victim of writer's hand and is becoming a broke ass version of samauri armstrong (copyright the thigh master), but the moment where ryan pulled a nicholson was pretty funny, then the really wide shot as we see johnny kicking sand as he walks away. thats classic. okay, well, alot of it was bad, but it wasn't as bad as its been this season. maybe i just like the ability to fast forward through the boring parts and cut to the meat of the show.

and since, today marks the start of thanksgiving break, wooooo! updates may be every other day or that semi regular schedule. i dunno just yet, but you just remember to throw them lighters up cause its thanksgiving break, woo!

Nov 17, 2005

girls can tell

okay, now everybody's making a pink stink over a mischa b nip slip; wow, it was on network tv, but it was so blurry and dark and thankfully, nobody is making that pink of a stink.

but, here's something more important and more nsfw, rachel mcadams, sorta toploose

Nov 16, 2005

m.r.f.


like in 10 years from now, when they do another movie about larry flynt, they should cast these two; vince vaughn is already there; the dude looks more like larry flynt than woody harrelson ever did, and well, dakota fanning will just be out of her awkward phase and probably at the start of her brittany murphy phase, but like reoccuring character on the tia and tamera mowry show era of brittany murphy and you know, she wants to be all edgy and in your face.

kroq's almost accoustic christmas line up; i dunno, i can't get excited about a bill boosting the sleepy tyme tea rhythms of jack johnson, death cab for cutie and coldplay. then there's hot hot heat and that'll just set off a flood gate of jokes about the blue lagoon cause the leader singer of hot hot heat besides being as happy as adam ridgley, 85 style, when he sings, has hair like the guy from the blue lagoon. then there's the bravery, which just embarrases everybody cause there was a point when that band was supposed to be good, but then, they turned out to be like the kids incoroprated version of moving units and then there's the mode, and well, they're the mode and let's not front people, we're all going to shouting for the classics, which is like, what, three or four songs. no new shit, just do "personal jesus" a few times and that song where they're like, 'that god has sick sense of humor.'

now, we all know i've never watched an episode of the show, "one tree hill," but if you watch an episode of trl, you'd think its the most important show since edward r murrow read the news. anyways, actually, last week, i got bits and pieces of the show, and i just felt incredibly bad for sophia bush. first, she's going through a divorce right now, which you know, is bad enough, but to make matters worse, the dude, she's getting a divorce from, is on the same tv show as she is; not to mention that the dude is the uber douche, chad michael murray. its one thing to work with that guy, but its another thing, to going through legal matters with that same lamey guy and have to act like a young couple in love on tv. sucks to be her and she's on a shitty show as well.

somebody should tell bruno about that the new hot trendy with celebrities, wearing fat suits and then crying on the shoulders of regular fat people. i guess, we're supposed to feel bad about ourselves because we're awful people because we laugh at fat people behind their backs, but its like, who cares. i already know that i'm an awful person, i don't need some super fox like vanessa minnillo to reenforce those feelings. we tune into stuff like 'et' to see footage of paris hilton trying to 'dance' at parties and maybe like behind the scenes footage of kelly monaco's maxim photoshoot, not vanessa minnillo in a fat suit. i know that it has to be some sorta fetish, like hot girls in fat suits, because, there's a group of sickos for everything, but it's 'et' isn't supposed to be hard hitting, it's fluff and the interviews are supposed to be like tie ball. not to mention, they're ruining the comedic aspects of the fat suits and honestly, bet that they're not talking about the weight loss benefit from wearing a fat suit. many moons ago, me and robin brown did a sketch for our public access show called, 'mass appeal: a magazine for hip hop's fattest fans,' outside of making references to 8ball and the fat boyz, the whole sketch was the two of us wearing fat suits made out of bubble wrap break dancing. peoples' pants split in half and it was sorta funny and i think we also went to wendy's in our make shift fat suits and you know what, people were laughing because they knew we were wearing fat suits. maybe, thats why people are laughing, cause some girl in a juicy sweat suit who also weighs 300 lbs is cruising by. i dunno, i just don't see alot of people actually owning designer sweat suits unless they're some trophy from newport, so maybe, people are too something fishy is going down and they're laughing at that.

i keep on talking about how i want to write a book and i think what prevents me from actually writing a book, besides, my laziness, is that i don't want to do all this work and research for nothing, you know. i need to see some dollar signs before i spend hours researching and emailing stuff to be proof read. yet, as i was waiting in line at chipotle, i thought of two things, one a better name for a book of my collective writing, 'my life as a mentally retarded female,' and two, there has to be chapater in the lunchtime crowd at chipolte. maybe your chipolte is different than mine, but to me, the lunchtime crowd at chipolte represents what's wrong with america. first off, you've got the shiftless folks like me who really have nowhere to go, but are very frustrated because it's taking so long and we're getting flashbacks to high school cause there's all these high school kids there and it just reenforces all those high school stereotypes and you're like, i still hate fucking jocks with their shaun white hair and their fucking spot in line. so you got the a&f, hollister kids who bring those bad memories of high school, then you have the other kind of high school kids, well, maybe this is just one type of person and i had the misfornate of them standing next to me in line, but anyways, next to you in line is some short kid who isn't wearing shelves and is playing a giantic screw. maybe, we'd label this type as the adhhad one, so we got the kids who look like rejects from the latest season 3 casting session for laguna beach having the time of their life in high school (but you're just mad at them because they called in their order, so they don't have to wait in line), and the adhhad kid with the screw, who decides to smash the screw into the tables and fixtures inside. and there's the other high school kids who are just complaining about the lines and how they have to get back to school in ten minutes cause their sixth period teacher isn't totally chill about tardies. here's the thing, we all know it'll take roughly 10 to 15 minutes to get a burritto at chipolte at noon, so why would you go to the place and complain about the place? yeah, i complain about the line, but that's because i have nowhere to go, and i have to be there as soon as humanly possible.

and i haven't figure out why the business people on their lunch breaks represent what's wrong with america, because really, there's nothing wrong with them. honestly, i completely understand what they're doing because nobody wants to go back to work and they're taking as long as humanly possible, but at the same time, when they're running late, they drive erraticaly. ah fuck it, i just hate everybody.

i think the one problem with the stern moving to siruis is that there's no west coast feed or at least from what i can tell from the angry west coast callers on the howard 100 bootlegs i've heard thus far. but, seriously, its a problem that sirius should quickly try to resolve because what's the point of making the move to sirius if the only time to hear howard out here is at 3 in the morning and the show is done by like 7 or 8 am? maybe, i'm just worrying about nothing and it'll all be fixed by january, but i'm just saying, its gonna be kinda lame. it's uncensored howard stern, but you have to be up by 5am to hear him when he's in the zone.

not to mention, if all of the cable providers are going to be offering the howard stern on demand channel. i have no clue and i'm probably leaning on the side of no, i probably won't get the stern on demand channel because we don't get showtime on demand, yet we got wwf on demand, which is weird enough.

we don't need another show about dancers unless, its like kelly monaco dancing or some body on that level of hotness. and more importantly, we don't need a show about people trying to become the next jennifer lopez. if you want to do a reality show about latinos, do one on the 14 year old mexican girls that wear platform shoes and have really long hair and sorta pass for 17. for as much as i love to watch the struggles of aspiring actors, there's just something blah about dancers, cause well, for most dancers, their biggest accomplishment is either knocking up a pop star, being a judge on a reality show who may have slept with one of the contestants or a big assed ego monster who wears white too often after labor day.

we also don't need a show about lisa loeb trying to jump start her career and love life. if anything, we need a show where somebody finds my copies of "illmatic" and the deep red soundtrack; there's a series in there somewhere, shit, if mtv aired twenty minutes of commercial free hot, sexy, packing away for college action, then could do a show about somebody finding a cd for me. i mean who would want to date lisa loeb anyways? we've all heard her song and it screams out, 'needy'. although, it'd be pretty funny if some guy whose kinda creepy and the date is going south, starts to sing, 'stay' to her, i'd laugh at that.

and finally, either shortly after this is posted or mid way through wednesday or into thursday morning, jennifer garner should have a baby and i say to that, finally. it seems like she's been preggers for as long as "alias" has been on the air. and sometime in 2010, katie holmes is due to give birth on the first child or at least when that happens, it'll feel that long.

Nov 15, 2005

the hills


rachel b, fly like project pat's verse on the "stay fly" remix . the friend, well, she's sorta like me, the one in the group who always poses like a japanese school girl in all of the photos. and if you don't have the designated peace sign person in your crew, it looks like you need to re think your friends or be the bold one and chuck a deuce.

side note, the more and more i listen to "stay fly" by three 6, the more and more i think its probably the best song of the year. yeah, houston came on real strong this year and we're all stoked on it, but memphis killed it for southern hip hop this year.

all right, so last night was the finale of "laguna beach" season 2 and well, it was rather disapointing because it was twenty two minutes of stephen covertly copping feels on l.c. and kristin while five for fighting plays in the background. in other words, your worst trip to the dentist. i guess it brought closure to storylines, but it was just twenty minutes of people packing and driving away. if i wanted to watch people, i'd hang out at hotels and airports. i mean, nobody likes to pack, so why do the producers think people, no matter how die hard of fans they are of the show, want to watch taylor pack for college? taylor already is boring, to watch her pack, is like watching paint drying in slow motion.

then, there's season or cycle three of "laguna beach," (you can watch the promo at mtv's overdrive, but if you're cool and have a mac, you're out of luck cuz mtv smokes crack like that). you know, i love this show, but i'm sorry, none of those kids look like they're worth the time of my day. now, i'm not saying my time is vaulabe or anything, but, cami? are you serious? cami? the girl with way too much forehead that tried to hook up with j.wall on the prom episode is the focus on season 3? there weren't more sluttier or cooler girls to cast from? and the hook, of following the adventures of l.c.'s sister doesn't work for me either. l.c. was super dull and i assume that her sister is just as dull if not duller. you see, it'd be interesting to watch if l.c.'s sister was her exact opposite. when i was at high school, there was a girl in my senior class, who was tall and nerdy and early 2000s indie rock and went around handing out copies of the underground student newspaper and her sister was a freshmen that year, and was the exact opposite, well, basically, the younger sister was sorta like l.c. now if that was a tv show, you know the ying and yang factor. so, lc is leaving and in comes, her weirdo sister who wears silk screened shirts with whales on them and is totally into my chemical romance. now, that would be interesting; that would amp up the show a bit, but now, if it's just the younger sister, it's gonna be like dullsville. the new cast, honestly reminds me of that one episode of "my super sweet 16," with the group of girls who called themselves 'ltd' or something and their whole life seemed hell bent on being perceived as cool by not only the kids that went to their party, but also, the mtv viewing audience, and when you try too hard to be cool, it shines through like a light in a lighthouse (bad comparsion, but them fuckers is bright, the lights, not the girls). these girls just smack of effort and too much make up and too many hours spent flat ironing the hair and too much money spent on trendy sunglasses to be worn on a cloudy day. it's just too effort, and it's just not cool or appealing. also, there's a vibe of desperation, its the same vibe that the oldest hoe on hef's hoe train has; they'll do just about anything to be liked. i don't know, i just see bad all over it, kids.

and finally, we come to "the hills," the lc spin off show. if it wasn't for her fake friends, i wouldn't be interested in this show. lc on her own, completely boring; example: the mamotath mountain episode where all she does is stay in her apartment room and plays with shapes that just don't fit. lc with 'friends,' goating her into things, interesting. but what would be more interesting? a show about kristin and alex h living in the hills or the dudes from "laguna beach" living in manhattan beach show and see which guy gets an std first, you know, that's entertainment! not some girl working for teen vogue and hanging out with aspiring actors. is lc going to have interactions with the fun things about l.a.? is she gonna get attack by a homeless man while waiting to get into a club cause that happened to me and robin brown once and it was pretty sketchy (that was also the time we wrapped copies of the la x-press on our hands to keep warm, but ended up with a bunch of news print about trannies on the fingers)? is lc going to be photographed by the cobra snake and feel really uncomfortable afterwards? is lc not going to get into lax? is lc going to get an accident while trying to find parking? no, nope, never. what will she be doing? lounging by the pool and by the end of the season, ready to make the big leap back home. i just save you ten episodes of television.

but who am i kidding, i'll be there on the first night its on.

i don't know how many people are watching "prison break," but the thing that strikes me about this show as well as "reunion," umm, if you get picked up, what do you do for a second season? sure, "24" managed to get around that hurdle, but myself, i tuned out mid way through the second season because it got too complicated for me, but i can see how they can do other seasons of the show, but "prison break," no. i don't. so, they break out of prison and then what? is it a show about people continuing to evade the law and prove their innocence? sounds pretty lame to me for a follow up season, don't get me wrong, i like prison break, but where do they go after this season? so, i dunno, why fox keeps on pumping those ad dollars into it.

speaking of fox, why can't they get anybody from "arrested development" booked a late night show other than jimmy kimmel? talk about network syngery, i saw jason lee, the star of the surprisingly funny "my name is earl," (its gotten alot better since the pilot) on leno for two segments, not to mention, his stint as host of snl. wow, nbc is really pimping that show hard. now, what's so hard for fox to pimp jason bateman that hard or porta di rossi? seriously, portia di rossi should break up with ellen degreenes because ellen has a talk show and reaches to a biljion people and why can't she talk about how everybody should watch "arrested development" or giveaway free dvds. fuck your conflict of interest, its called 'locking that down'.

anybody ever watch the show, "scrubs,"? while i have issues with zach braff, i have to watch some episodes for this thing in a class of mine and i may be in the market for a show to watch, since you know, "arrested.." is getting canceled and all.

the new juelz santana album, "whats the game been mising!," leaked last week. brief review, it's pretty good; if you heard "back like cooked crack 3," then you've heard a majority of the tunes already and every song that cam is on, he kills it. but this is the problem with rap right now or at least the carter admistration at def jam. unless, you're kanye or some really weaked sauced r&b pop princess bullshit, then your shit is right on time, but if jay aint into your shit, it gets delayed and delayed and delayed. and that's what happened with the santana album. you know, it got pushed back and back and more and more stuff leaked onto the mixtape circuits or the dips put it out themselves.

and that's why i worry about the new ghostface album. supposed to come around this time, but it got pushed back to february, but you never know, it may get pushed again and again, and by the time, it comes out, we've all heard the good stuff on some mixtape. although, it should be noted, the mf doom/ghostface album should be out in the spring of 06, making 06 the return of the albums with one producer and one rapper. anybody know if there's a leaked copy of that aceyalone/rjd2 album yet? supposed to be in february, but you know, can't wait.

i don't know your feelings on talking about blogs, personally, unless, it can impress someone or lead me into free stuff, then i won't even mention that i have one because, its really geeky and republician guys have sorta ruined the whole thing with how serious they take it. anyways, in a class of mine, we were talking about blogs and i had talked briefly about them with my professor and when it came up in class, i was turned into the expert on the subject, when i'm just some dude who needs to learn how to spell check and has a thing for hipster asian girls and rachel bilson and the clipse. and after i talk about it, everybody starts chiming in about wanting the addresses and i don't want to give that away because these are people i see on a somewhat regular basis, who probably already assume that i'm crazy, but if they read this, they won't even want to sit next to me or make mindless chit chat before class starts.

although, i did apperciate talking about how awesome cam'ron's "the world is yours" chain is in class.

also, do you think tom leykus is upset that he didn't get any of the post stern morning show spots? its a topic i want to get into, but for a later time.

oh vell.

Nov 14, 2005

he looked like david bowie


i had this big thing written about how the only skill i have is that i can magically tune into the same 45 minute stretch of the film, 13 going on 30 and how i should, in theory, naturally, be able to parlay this incredible talent of mine into a job at urban outfitters because i can do mindless, tedious, boring, unfunny things for long periods of time without complaining, but like my computer froze and i lost it cause i didn't save like every three seconds like i normally do. oh well. i'm just amazed that i only manage to see the same parts of that movie again and again, it's sorta like "everybody loves raymond," when i try to watch an episode of it, like put some effort into it, it's the one episode i've seen. you know what i mean? cause you'll get into conversations with people about that show and they're like, "you've never seen that show," like it was seinfeld or the godfather and i'm like, i've only seen one episode like four times and it sucked."

like half the time, i just bookmark these things and when it comes time to do the write up, i completely forget why i bookmarked it. i guess, its cause she's fit and has nice knobs and good hair and probably is the kind of girl if i ever had a conversation with, i'd just end up talking about how i sorta stalk her on campus and know where her and her fellow 'trendsetters,' hang out. in other words, she's just like everybody else.

then again, i'm on hipster overload as of late. working on a paper about the marketing to the hipster audience and what not.

i guess that kenny chasey has an album coming out and he's talking about the renee zewillger thing, but if i was that dude and i was bitter, i'd be writing songs like, "my ex wife's face looks like she ate a bunch of sour patch kids." where are the hot flames of jealousy and bitterness? everybody is so cozy and not gonna talk about it with their celebrity divorces these days. geez, open up, give kids some material to work with, not me, but you know, other people.

okay, so i finally caught a bit of the trainwreck known as bai ling singing on that vh-1 show the other night. first, douche chills. lots and lots of douche chills. secondly, are we all in on the joke together or are we having a laugh at the expense of bai ling? i'm all for taking a piss at bai ling, but is she aware that we're all laughing at her and her 'singing' style? i've heard throat singers that are better than her. uf a tufah. when all is said and done and bai ling has won the show, will she become this delussional monster who think she can make pop singles or will she make music the same way that traci lords made dance records all those years ago?

i don't want to be a broken record, but if you could be so kind and sign a save arrested development, again petition, it'd be greatly apperciated. and if you want to bug hbo & nbc executives to pick up the show, here's the contact info and if you just want to call hbo and bug them about not airing that show about bill paxton playing polygamist and why did they spend so much on "rome". i can't speak for everybody, but my schedule recording lists looks awfully lonely without "arrested" on it. not to mention, its full of false hope because it says wonder showzen is on, but instead i get some lamey nu metal concert.

speaking of nu metal, i've been listening to bits and pieces of kroq over this past week and from what i heard, i think they're shifting back a bit and playing more of the nu metal, you know the stainds, the puddles of mudds, the korns, if you will and less of the indie rock. or maybe i'm just hitting the station at those moments, but never the less, radio in southern california is gonna suck again real soon. cause indie103 is just a glorified college radio station that scares people all the time. i'm sorry, when i tune into a indie station, i expect to hear that particular genre of music, not three dog night. and once you hear the three dog night, you start to panic because maybe the station changed formats over night and now it's an early 70s singles station, then you hear some boston accent talk about something that he always talks and you're like, 'oh yeah, this station is sorta douchey and let' the djs play whatever they want.'

to make up for talking about "arrested development" again, here's some delicious nsfw keeley hazell for y'all or at least, all the young dudes.

i wish i had more to say, people, but i'm just so focused on finishing a bunch of shit for school the next two weeks. basically, it's just work on papers, projects, shot lists, you know that whole 9 yards and if i'm caught up or a little ahead, maybe i'll step out and catch that sarah silverman movie. if i remember to put a request in some filters on my equipment order and write a few pages on my spec, i'll go to coffee bean or something. so bear with me, kids. not to mention, its the end of the year and nothing is happening except for preparation for end of year lists and what not.

Nov 11, 2005

kilos part 2 aka dear sons & daugthers of hungry ghosts

you know that one wolf parade song where the guy says, "but god doesn't always have the best god damn best plans," that's such a great line. you know what's also great? these two but, they only okay when properly exposed


two words: cocanie rodeo or at least rosamund pike wants to doc brown in a remake of back to the future. sometimes, i wish i was british, so i could pull off the really cold and indifferent vibe that these two pull off.


i'm still extremely frustrated over the "arrested development" situation. there are very few shows on television that are worth are tivoing, let alone, building your whole class schedule around, but "arrested," certainly was one of them. sure, we can point fingers at everybody from dropping the ball on this one. we could blame the writers for crafting a smart, extremely developed series that made some people not interested in watching because they thought they weren't smart enough or they felt as if they had to have seen every episode before the current one to get all the jokes. and we can most certainly blame the fox marketing department for not knowing how to market a comedy that isn't animated or has ashton kutcher in it. there are alot of people to blame in this situation, but also, we can say, at least, it lasted as long as it did. basically, we got two and half seasons of "arrested" where we got barely a full season of "undecleared" and "action". yet, to me, that's not good enough. i can't stand the fact that we've only had one full season of "arrested," where as a show like "that 70s house," or "malcolm in the middle" are still on the year and haven't been on anybody's radar for at least three years or so. have you struck up a conversation with anybody and they talked about this really funny thing they saw the other night on "malcolm in the middle"? is your dvr set up to record "that 70s show" or that matter, "the bernie mac show"? no, nobody cares about these shows and it just seems as if fox in general is in the process of phasing out the half hour comedies all together.


but there's still one live action sitcom on the fox schedule, "the war at home," with michael rapaport? have you ever seen an episode of this trainwreck? its probably the worst show on television right now. i'd rather hang out with george w bush and those two chatty cathy bitches from my exam last weekend for four hours in a locked room than watch that show. there's nothing original or interesting or compelling or exciting about this show. what makes it different from other fox shows in the similar vein is that, it's live action. michael rapaport is pretty much the same character as homer simpson, peter griffin and hank hill, only poorly written. archie bunker was great for his time, but to replicate it for this generation, just doesn't work and it's not interesting. so i can't stand the fact that some abomolition of a half hour comedy like "the war at home" continues to be on the air in an extremely cushy time slot while one of the funniest shows in the history of televison barely eeks it out.


and as much as i would like to see "arrested" move to an hbo or showtime, i just don't know if fox will sell the show and let somebody pocket all of those dvd sales. not to mention, can hbo afford to do a show of that size and caliaber, well, hbo did produce that snoozer of a show, "rome". also, we have to remember that we're dealing with fox, a network didn't want to pay for the travel expenses so ricky gervais could be on "arrested". so, let's be grateful that we get to watch seven more episodes of an amazing show and here's to hoping that hbo will come in and save us, so you know, we can maybe hear gob say some swears. or does "arrested" have to cast some giantic fat lady who dresses like stevie nicks screaming about being a god warrior and slyhics in order to get people to watch?

so i caught the "the oc" last night and realized that there's not one single likable character on the show this season. can you pick out a character that's likable, excluding bilson, cause, well, she's the bilson and super cute that's lurking around? i vaguely remember the time when the characters were likable, even the ones you were supposed to hate. now, everybody is just lame and as boring as borat's wife. like they need to some sorta like infinite crisis to shake the sheets, ted leo steez. kill off some lameys or revamp them, just do something to make them interesting and watchable again. i just believe that the writers think that the solution to their problems is to plug in new characters and sees what happens. but any writing teacher will tell you that you have to fix your core characters and make them interesting again; sure, these new characters are adding depth or at least attempting to add depth and dimension to these characters, but if anything, they're bending the characters out of shape and taking them on uninteresting journeys. maybe, i just hate the bizzaros so much and the whole jerri ryan storyline is extremely dull and uninteresting and i hate taylor towneshed because she's the new poochie, she's been keeping itchy & scratchy from going to the fireworks factory for far too long. but, you just know in the writers room's infinte wisdom by the time, we've becomed accustomed to taylor townshed, she'll have to leave the show for unexplained reason, like she's an alien or something and that she died on the way home.

and the last thing about tv, mtv2 blows. i have it set up on the dvr to record whenever wondershowzen is on, anytime, any episode, it's gonna record and when i check to see that i have wonder showzen episodes, i get really excited, but when i play it, i get some stupid 50 cent video where he's taking his shirt off every three seconds or like the start time is off by ten minutes, so i can part of the making of the video where 50 takes about his method skills on how to properly take your shirt. so what the fuck mtv2? show wondershowzen if y'all plan on showing wondershowzen, we have enough 50 stuff as is and frankly, there's enough footage of that dude without his shirt on to start a whole cable network about it.

the new white stripes/gondry/conan o'brien collabo is breathtaking

and the fountain is kubrickian, but in a good way. cause you know these days, everybody uses kubrick to talk about something that's a little less than normal, but really, it's not like anything kubrick would've done, say with the exception to heathers.

and watch for the trailer for a film with one of the best titles ever: your vice is a locked room and only i have the key; i like that there' a dvd company out there that's bringing a whole mess of italian cop movies from the 70s to america finally.

Nov 10, 2005

to the ad wizards at fox


maybe if you kids decided to run more than one ad for "arrested development" before it comes back on, then maybe this won't happen anymore.

and if you guys want to cancel it, then just come out and cancel it. don't pussyfoot around and reduce the season order. just grow a pair and cancel it.

or let them do the full season and release it onto dvd or like in demand.

seriously, what does mitchell hurwitz and his writing staff to do make it a sellable for you guys? do they need to incorporate a gay talking alien? or a wise cracking, tough talking doctor? they've already done a prison break on the show, what else do you want from them other than well written, well performed comedy?

yet, that crap shack of a show, "the oc" still get to crank out bad episode after bad episode.

Nov 9, 2005

that king arthur jive part 2

that video of paris hilton & that greek shipping heir guy dinging his bentley is both funny, extremely funny and sad, because, there's a gigantic scratch on a bentley and for those kids, it'll be like water off a duck's ass. [via defamer]

personally, i want to be famous or at least wealth for few reasons and one of those reasons is so i can get a bentley and that drunk greek kid just trashed it like he was in a demolation derby in the red states. not staying fly, greek dude.

with all of this joe francis business going on nowadays, do you think anybody will wanna a spec script of mine that can only be described as training day meets girls gone wild and its offended at least half of a creative writing class.

that king arthur jive

holla

hollywood, can you please tell ashton to finally reveal that he's been punking ryan reynolds into thinking he's a successful movie star. i know that he has a movie coming out in a couple of weeks, but did you know that he had two other movies out earlier this year? yeah, i didn't either until i checked the db. ryan reynolds seems like a nice guy and everything, but he lack that movie star charma; there's nothing about him or the persona he has that makes me want to drop a gem on a movie ticket and see the film he is. ryan reynolds is sorta better than an abc sitcom, but he's not good enough for the movies, like the medium meant for him, is like a showtime series. cause he's better than tv, but he's not hbo. maybe, i'm wrong and this next film of his will hit, but i'm not counting on. ryan reynolds is an industry star, not a star. like kids in the industry dig what he does, but most of america digs on his stuff like 6 months after the fact while tooling around on the in demand channel on a friday night.

speaking on in demand, i don't get showtime, but does that mean, i can't have access to the showtime on demand channel? cause, i wanted to check out those "masters of horror" shorts, but i couldn't cause i couldn't find the showtime function on the in demand thing. i dunno, but i just wanted to check out those shorts, well, just the argento, carpenter & miike ones cause those guys are my guys.

holla

john lennon tunes to be sold digitally, but not on itunes, so nobody will buy them and itunes users will continue to deal with those stupid playlists like, "we want beatles, ac/dc, zepplin & radiohead!!!!!!1!!!!" or "vote 5 if you love the beatles," when its a bunch of kelly clarkson and big & rich tunes. beatles peeps, get over apple computers stealing your record label's name. apple computers, get over the beatles being pissy about some legal matter. dudes, let it be and then let me buy it for 99 cents.

umm, monday night's "arrested development" were good, but kinda off, you know what i mean? in the second season, they had that one or two episode slump where they attempted to maraganlize the humor and we got that awful martin short episode; you see, i feel like we're in that type of slump for the show. don't get me wrong, its still funny and what not, but you know, the whole rita storyline has to have a better pay off than her being a mrf or at least, ricky gervais cameo happens in a couple more episodes. and honestly, right now, after last night's episode, sorry charlie, but "the (american) office" is probably the best sitcom on tv. "curb" is slipping (what the fuck was that bingo episode about and sunday's episode was sorta weak sauce too). i dunno, we had that two week period of great comedy on tv, then like fox had to fuck things up with chi tea & cry babies.

as for "laguna beach," on monday night, l.c. centeric episodes aren't that fun. honestly, they're sorta sad because l.c. still being on the show is basically like that guy who still wears his lettermen jacket and goes to the high school football games and its been ten years since the glory days. yeah, l.c. is super fit, but there's alot of super fit people out there these days but it doesn't make them interesting people to watch. the only good part of that episode was when kristin thought for two seconds of saying something to l.c., but then she just took off instead, classic. kristin cavalarri needs, deseveres and should have the spin off, not l.c.; what's it gonna be half hour of her working out and buying shoes? geez, if i wanted to watch that, i'd go to the gym or the mall. now, if the spin off was about l.c. hanging out with three 6 mafia, then yeah, it'd be the best show in the history of the world, but if its not gonna be like that.

related, i read an article in the times the other day about kids transfering into lb high, in attempt to get onto the show and how like one parent was really hoping that their kid got on the show, so they could provide exposure for their company. me, i just wanted to pretend to be a high school, so i could promote my blog. you know, i'd make some godawful screen silk tees that would say, 'skeet on me? skeet on you? skeet on mischa!' i figure if i could do that, maybe i could land that book deal i've been dreaming of and probably turn it into some sorta college teaching gig, to which, i'd be fired from after half a semester either for lack of creditinials or student compliants (he called me 'dude' and wasn't being ironic about it). i mean, how different is it from the kids wearing the clothing from all the local surf companies and what not.

holla

so the other day, i mentioned this required exam i had to take in writing. believe it or not, with the aid of spell check & a proof reader, i can turn chicken shit into chicken salad, but its like a salad from mcdonalds, so its only okay. but under pressure situations, i'm not that good of a writer. my hands start to sweat and i just ramble on as opposed to crafting a structured essay. stream of conscious as opposed to well organized and clearly thought out. so i had that going for me when i was taking the test, but to makes even more fun, there was only one essay choice and it was this really generic, lame question about culture in america. now, i'm not asking for an essay topic like which is the better movie: el topo or opera (which is an impossible question to answer), but at least give me options. and my views on american culture is this, there is no melting pot, there is no salad bowl, america is a mess of people, and i quote or paraphrase 50 cent, but america is a bunch of people who are trying get rich or die tryin'. not literally, of course. we're just all on a quest to get a riches of riches and good health and happiness and this quest doesn't end until we die. to me, thats america. i guess cultures have blended, but we're just one big culture because, we're just trying to live with some shitty president and make the most of what we got. thats my view on america. only a few sentences and most likely poorly supported, but imagine how much bullshit i had to throw in there to go 6 pages in a blue book.

anybody else get weirded out talking about porn around some super fit girl whose kinda conservative? like you don't want to give the impression that you're some super creep because you're a big fan of eon mckai(nsfw) and you've tried to book veronica jett(nsfw) for your birthday party. these are the difficult moments in life, well only sorta difficult.

broken social scene on kcrw comes highly recommened from me, if only hear to the kinda acoustic version of "superconnected' and a really good feist tune get cut off half way through cause warren olney has to talk about rioting french men. boo-urns!

seriously, for me, its a slow news weeks and at the same time, i'm sorta in stressed out i have like eight million things to do mode or at least, i think i have eight million things to do, so i'm doing them now kinda of situation. even though, i have enough time to go out and vote and find a copy of your vice is a locked room and only i have the key

Nov 8, 2005

voting matters

i guess, its a little late in the day to tell you to vote, but if you haven't already, go and vote.

who knows, maybe there'll be some cute little hipster surfboard girl working the polling place and you're be kicking yourself like every election year, you say, i should really voultner and help out, then you're selfish and rather sleep in.

although, knowing me, i'd probably work out of somebody's garage and its just me and a couple of old ladies.

and dude, that new dre/snoop/nate dogg song is strictly redicly. i know that julio g on the new kday is playing the fork out of it. "there they go, there they go, there they go, there they go".

Nov 7, 2005

we don't sleep at night


does anybody else read trent and wish that famous people read their blog like famous people read his. i'm not hoping that either one of the killer b's reads this mess, but if like the friend of a friend of a friend of the assitant to one of the killer b's read this, then i'd say job well done or at least, call up james cromwell and pay him 5 bucks to say, "that'll do."

its official, the state of california has gone completely nuts. if it's not the three to four daily calls telling me either to vote yes or no on proposition 75, now warren beatty is out on the campagin trial, speaking out against the governator. okay, so flash forward to the next governor election, i swear to god, its going to be arnold vs warren flippin' beatty. game over, man, game over. the general perecption of california already assumes that we're all drinking the kool aid, but if the next governor's race is between the dude from macbee & mrs miller and kindergarden cop, i honestly don't know what the world will think. although, as a positive, maybe we'll get nicholson some sorta plaque outside the staples center; 'respected actor stuck it out during the k.o.b.e./post shaq era here'.

although, i shouldn't be the one talking. yet even surprisingly, the k.o.b.e is passing the ball around, then again, its only the third game of the season.

you know, how every so often or at least, every time we believe "arrested development" is going to get canceled, we start up a petition to keep it on the air, usually to avil and what not. yet, here's a wacky idea, lets start up a petition to tell fox to cancel "the simpsons" or at least let matt groening know, the cow has been milked completely and it's all been done before. yeah, the classic seasons are coming out on dvd right now, but here's the thing, the dana gould funded reign of terror has sorta soiled the classic era of "the simpsons." i could take it or leave it if i pick up the dvd or if i can catch the reruns nowadays. just stop making episodes now. sure, ad people will be upset and what not, but your legacy will sorta remain in tact.

same goes for adult swim, alot of the new shows suck. i can see where "the boondocks" could be funny, but right now, it just feels like one super longer 'ever notice that white people act like this' joke with a few bill maher esque musings on politics. maybe it has room to grow, but, i dunno. then there's shows like "12 oz mouse," where it seems to be thrown together like three hours before airing. you know, i just remember when adult swim was a bunch of reruns of some really great sealab episodes and waiting months after months for a few new ones and being really stoked on it. now, it just seems like they're cranking them out without a care in the world. then again, if i had a cartoon on adult swim, i wouldn't say shit. i'd say that they can't crank them out fast enough.

quality control is a really important thing though. i wish i had it.

hey travis barker fans, please get over something i wrote seven months ago. i don't need anymore threats from people who wear shants and accusitions of being a narrow minded person because i'm making fun of an opened minded guy who'd support his kids in whatever they do. yes, you really got my goose.

at one point or another in our life, we've all been in a room with a bunch of people we don't know about to take a test. whether it be the psat or the real sat or exams you have to take to test out of college, we've all been there and we're usually super quiet because, its early on a saturday morning and we're so stressed out over the test or lacking in the sleep department. or at least, we assume that everybody would be quiet, but not in my world. you see, in a room of i want to say maybe 40 people, the re-ru grouping, sat pretty much in total silence as we wait for the test to start except for two women. most likely due to the enchanced silence of the situation, but i heard every single god damned word of the conversation and it nearly drove me to the point of jamming a pencil into my hand to get out of the room. the weird thing about the conversation, it was basically the mindless making small time bullshit, yet this twosome found numerous things in common, like creepy, horror movie things in common. oh, you studied abroad in japan. well, my fiance was stationed in japan and we lived at the base for a while. wow, what are the odds of two people who lived in japan are seated right across from each other, but what are the odds of them shuting the fuck up and just letting me stress out in silence (i had forgotten my ipod; besides, i didn't know if anybody was gonna nuts about it). its just blah blah blah and it was so loud. in testing situations like that, people should've been like me when i did the psats, i sat in the back of the room, with a walkman and listened to bjork inbetween sections of the test and quietly went home when i was done.

whatever happened to the stills? that song, "yesterday never knows" and that one 4 track jawn on their ep were pretty killer, but, wha happened?

Nov 4, 2005

booger motel or mouth party


i can safely assume that we all tivo'ed the mtv europe awards and fast forward through all the boring parts, to get to borat immediately, right? to me, there is no better actor out there than sascha baron cohen. fuck your sean penns, cohen can stay in character for like months at a time. it's been said before, but has anybody actually seen cohen not in borat mode at all this year?

i guess i'm either in the process of losing or already lost my nerd status cuz the only kinda of chills i'm getting from peter jackson's king kong are of the douche variety. while yes, i'll probably watch it and what not, but i just can't imagine how it could be a three hour film, but peter jackson pulled his 'i made this film that made alot of money' card and he got away with what he did.

this is bullshit. remaking a peckinpah film, especially the wild bunch is like remaking "enter the 36 chambers" with nick cannon and like mario singing all the hooks. the wild bunch, for my money, is the single greatest american western ever made and its the beat all, end all american western. it doesn't need to be contemporize or modernize because the film was about the death of an era and it doesn't need to modernize or contempirze. basically, you're just making a men on a mission film and you thought the title was really cool, that's all. i mean, you can come up with a more unique title. i mean, isn't this why we have marketing majors and what not?

well, i guess this makes my teen sex comedy, cock knockers a rather mute point

in case anybody was wondering, the pumpkin spice latte, frapunchino thing from starbucks wasn't the pumpkin pie shake i wished it was going to be. does coffee bean have any pumpkin drinks? i haven't been in a couple of weeks.

umm, i haven't watched last night's new episode of "the oc" yet, but i can just assume from watching it in super fast forward, that the bizzaros are really fucking stupid and annoyning and a big waste of time and it's a whole ross & rachel vibe with ryan & mischa b and it still sucks and it's not funny as it used to be and adam brody wore a penniguin shirt or related product somewhere in the show. i mean, i think we're at the point with this show where we could go the route of conan o'brien's "24" paradoy, "60," where we just see a second of the show each week and just assume that it wasn't as good as the first season, but still a smidge better than season two, but still, its just as bad as sitting next to jay leno on a fight to japan and the battery on your ipod has died and on the other side is like tom cruise and he's offering to help you charge your ipod off his laptop but you have to really consider and look at this literature he's brought with and like the in flight movie is like sideways but all of the best parts are cut out and like the guy in front of you is watching the "bewitched" remake on his laptop and is laughing really hard at it. like to me, thats what i assume each new episode of "the oc" is going to be like, i've lost all hope with it, not even a guest spot by samurai armstrong could get me interested, although, i'll still tune in next week, so i'll have some material cause, you know, slow news day or what not.

sometimes, i forget when i'm talkng to normal people i don't have the ability to create a link to something for them to understand it. i can't say robert mapplethorpe and just assume that everybody has either taken a art class or has a bit of knowledge on the struggles of artstic expression and government censorship or has the ablitity to click on a link and sorta grasp the concept of the reference. cause i made a joke in a class about robert mapplethorpe and it just bombed and to spin it and to make myself feel better, i think i said something, you have to be smart or at least a knowledge of art to get that one. and i also made a reference to scataological humor and that just went over peoples heads as well. with a few words, i managed to further alienate myself from an entire class. that's not luck, but that is skill. yet at the same time, aren't we all college kids and haven't we all taken either psych 101 or studies of human sexuality, so you think they'd be on the level to get or understand references such as that.

that neil diamond rick rubin album is really good, actually. the extent of my knowledge of neil diamond going into the record is the big belt buckle, sparklely shirts and massive chest hair guy singing about people coming to america and the impression that will ferrell did of him on snl. that and "sweet caroline," but other than that, i have no nothing of his prior musical skills. before i listened to the album, i read the liner notes and it just reminded me of the will ferrell impression because the notes are just filled with really hokey cliches and come off rather cheesey. sure, rick rubin produced jay's "99 problems," and the album, "reign in blood," by slayer but there's only so much magic that bearded little man can do (he's actually not short, but average height. i saw him at the apple store at the grove once). yet, i'm listening to the album and the second song, i'm hooked and i'm claiming, "hell yeah" as my new theme song. maybe, its the emotional state i'm in and i can sorta relate to songs with a large themes of being lost and figuring out how to go on with your life, but the album really struck a strong chord with me and i dig it, alot. give it a try.