il giardino delle delizie
dear eli roth,
dude, i totally tried to watch your movie hostel the other night, but it was sold out, which i guess is goo(d) for you, but bad for me. you know, i guess, its my fault for going to a movie theater thats about ten minutes away from my house, since i failed to remembered that generally, on the weekend nights, it looks like the parking lot of a junior high around 2:30 in the pm. perhaps its the bitter, old, cynical old man in me, i have to say that i'm extremely disapointed in my local movie theater's employees, letting a bunch of 14 year olds to watch a film which features a cameo by the great takashi miike (that those punks probably won't even apperciate) and copious amounts of gore, but once again, mr roth, goo(d) for you, bad for me because i was not on my shit and i got left in the cold.
and true, i did go to the movies earlier that day; saw woody allen's excellent match point (its like crimes and misdemeanors with english accents) and i could've used that oppurnity at the cinemas to catch your film, but you know hostel just doesn't seem like a breezy 2 o'clock in the afternoon kind of film. sure, if i was seeing it for a second time, i could do an early showing, but as we all know, the best time to watch a horror movie, is in fact the night time and preferablely the last show of the night. you know, after a gore fest or at least what i assume to be a gore fest, just doesn't strike me as something i could go and grab a smoothie shortly afterwards. it'd just ruin the affect of your film.
so, my dollars would've been there openning weekend, but you know, chatty 12 year olds and bored movie theater security guards who love tim allen movies kept me away. tonight, or at least, cross my fingers, that tonight will be the night i finally get to see your film.
moving on, now, i'm not a football fan. most of the time, i find it to be rather boring. you know, some dude runs for three yards, then falls down. clearly, this is why so much beer is sold during football games. yet once january rolls around, football actually becomes interesting because games actually mean something. there's something of value and significance happening with each game. so, i don't know about everybody else, but i'm fucking sick of tom brady and the patriots every year in the playoffs because those guys make everything so boring; well, just in general, all the games this past week were incrediblely and utterly boring. the pats are basically the yankees of football, but the thing about them, is that they're not even fun to hate on. i can watch a yankees game, just to yell at my tv about how much afraud sucks and how he'll never win a ring, but with the pats, it's like, 'eh, isn't there some "saved by the bell" reruns on".
okay, who else was sweating bullets during the elimanation process of "flavor of love" last night? if flavor was going to get rid of oyster, the woman who is in the process of setting the world's record for wearing the color red (6 years and still going strong, baby!), then the show would've become an hour of girls like this...
with not only their crazy eyes (runaway bride style), but also with their crazy hair. have you noticed that all of the girls' hair on this show looks like as if they've been up for three days straight not only partying with pat o'brien & betsy, but also with pedro guerrero, george w bush, bobby brown (see the photo and check the nostrils) and stevie nicks fans from a near by trailer park. sure, my hair is a bit crazy right now, but thats cause i'm too lazy and forgetful to call the haircutting school in which i go to, these women are trying to win the love of flavor flav. not to mention, that these women dress like our favorite kind of nightmares, autralian's nightmare. sorry chuck d, but vh-1, while your broadband video thing blows since its windows only, keep on cranking out the flavxplotion cause we can't get enough of it. also, if we could get an oyster spin off in the summer, that'd be killer, too. way more interesting than that dude from "the brady bunch" marrying that girl from "top model" who never really was a model in the first place show.
one of my goals of 2006 was to not be suckered in by these buzz bands. last year, i was fished in like stupid people who get those emails from people claiming to be princes who needs loans to help unfreeze their assets by these stupid buzz bands, that, well, i'm thinking of filing a lawsuit against them and the cute girl on myspace who was all about them. yet, here are i am, a mere 9 days into the new year and i've already listened to the new album by we are scientists, which comes out on tuesday, two times in a single day. the grooves are infectious and i don't know, good hooks, and just an all around fun record to listen. its a bold feet these days to get to me to turn off my sirius boombox (i went through 8 d batteries in a week on that thing) and we are scientists have done this with flying colors.
sirius radio is really good, but i'll do a better write up after i hear stern's show in full today.
it should be noted that ennio morricone scores, in particular the really psychedelic and 'progg'y ones. i wish i lived and worked in italian during the 60s & the 70s and a father who was involved with the film industry cause i could've made a giallo or two.
i was out to dinner with my friends over the weekend, in honor of morgan of morgan's celebrity spotting of the week fame's birthday and you know, its the end of the night, and of course, nobody being the great math wiz, we all sorta estimate how much we each owe on the bill and just throw money in the pot until we think we're close and we've left an okay tip. and from the movies, i've seen about adults or at least involving adult like people, it appears that there's a certain point in our lifetime, where we all stop splitting the check 8 ways and one person bites the bullet and picks up the bill. i mean, does that actually happen in real life that one person is nice enough to foot the bill or just does it come with the inevitable switch of becoming a republican and a real job? or we just doomed to live a life of spliting a bill 6 ways forever and ever?