spit on a stranger
victoria beckham, besides, becoming your mother, is also becoming the new angelyne; i know that the joke has probably been done before, but you try running two blogs and coming up with material for both of them. i just wonder if in 5 years, not even that, in two years from now, will there be billboards all around london promoting herself and you know, she'll cruise around london in a stink pink mini winnie cooper and cameo in the british equilvent of earth girls are easy.
yet at the same time, victoria beckenemen will probably end up looking like angelyne, but in all reality, paris hilton probably is the new angelyne. and seriously, why hasn't somebody put together a tour called, "monsters of teh suck" featuring paris hilton and k. fed performing tracks from their albums that are supposed to come out sometime this year, but in all reality, it'll probably be never. it'd be more of a cabaret act or it might be like a new school style lecture on how to lip sync and how to be some of the world's worst dancers to your own music? i never understand why on these entertainment shows (which sadly is my own source of news these days), they always talk about how sexy and cool paris hilton is when she's dancing in some vegas night club; elaine from "seinfeld" is a way better dancer than her.
then, there's all of this bullshit coverage of people at sundance who really have no right or place to be at sundance. why is lance bass there? is he trying to finance some documentary about ex pop star going into outer space? and why is he getting all of this free shit? if there's anybody at sundance who deserve to get a free pair of jeans and do lines with jessica biel, it's the guys who've put all of their worldy possesions into making their first film and got a gigantic break by having their film in the festival. fuck paris hilton or shannon elizabeth getting a free new phone from motorolla, give it to the guy who slaved away for three years making some great short film who probably has one of those old brick phones. sundance used to be a place where emerging filmmakers would catch a break, but now, its become a perverse place where shannon elizabeth goes to get her name back out in the media, and well, mission accomplished.
also, fuck sundance for not accepting facility 4.
mary lynn rajskub, much like my cooking, only has two acting moves. every time she tries to look serious or intense on "24"; i just can't help but think of the above scene from "mr show". she's super funny on "mr show," but she puts "24" into this
bizzaro gray area where i'm not sure if i'm supposed to laugh or not. and from the snap from "24," you can tell she's making the same exact face as in the mr show sketch. yet, at the same time, when she goes into that technological babble, i believe that she knows what's she talking about. you know, how you'll read an instruction manual out loud and words are coming out of your mouth, but you have no clue as to what they mean, or like when you read something in the economist, they are words, but it might as well be written in greek cause maybe then, i'd understand it; you see when mary lynn rajskub talks about all of that computer crap, i believe it. like if she was my friend and i had problems with my computer, i'd call her and ask for advice.
monday's "24" was lacking in the jack bauer yelling at people department. don't you think at the end of the episode when he was talking to the dude from the goonies and said "i'm not ctu," it would've been ten times cooler if he added, "i'm jack motherfucking bauer!" to that sentence? jack needs to throw in some swears.
hey american apparel, love your fleece pants; super comfy. anyways, here's the thing, i was at south coast plaza last week and i'll probably be there today looking for another pair of levis and noticed that a couple of stores were closing; they're throwing in the towel and i remember how much of a pain in the neck parking in h.b. it is near the hb a.a. store and it sorta hit me, why not have an american apparel store in south coast plaza? sure, you'd probably couldn't have the dressing room doors covered with old covers of cheri magazine, but, what an unbelievable way to say, 'we're major' and 'bite it, corporate america, you scum' with a store thats a couple of doors down from burberry and kitty corner to channel.
to the rest of america and especially, the lonely island guys, the masterminds behind "lazy monday" don't speak for the west coast as a whole. to build a whole response song around "color me mine," come on? that's just as bad as killa cam using the fact that s.carter rocked jeans & sandals one time. are these guys trying to make the point that color me mine is only a west coast thing because those dudes are sadly mistaken. i'm just confused by the whole matter because i'm not sure if these guys are trying to make a west coast equilvent of "lazy sunday" or not because or if they're just trying to catch a ride at the tail end of somebody else's shine? there are better things to reference that people do out here on a lazy monday that people back east can't do. we can get 2 4x4s from in n out or how we like to spend money we don't have at amoeba music or even roberstson blvd. you know, crack a joke about hanging around robertson waiting to see lindsay lohan crash her car again or like going to a taping of "the price is right". there are better things to do on a lazy monday on a west coast than color me mine. part of me has to wonder if the people who made the west coast response song/video knew somebody who works or manages that color me mine, so it'd be real easy to film the video. also, they need to step up their font game. it hurts my eyes.
and finally, on a much somber note, r.i.p. chris penn.