&t skeet on mischa: case dismissed

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Feb 7, 2006

case dismissed

i don't think it was this time last year, maybe it was around the spring time of last year, but anyways, i said that the barkers would probably be the world's worst set of parents ever. i take that back, people. the award for the world's worst parents goes to another mtv couple, ashley and his girlfriend with the creepy eye borrows. i just feel so bad for this kid because he's going to be forgotten so many times. this child will be left in cars and department stores; basically, he'll be like ann from "arrested development" cept in baby true religion denims. these two have to be the most self centered people in the world and that's saying alot from me, since i, myself am extremely self centered. you know that the ashley's girlfriend, wife, whatever she is, is going to go through postpartum depression majorly. and then there's ashley, a man who's a bit sacreligious cause he likes to walk on water in addititon to freezing time like he was evie or something. during this episode, i had this rush of joy and excitement as ashley started to talk about getting the wang snipped, but then he said he was kidding. he shouldn't joke about shit like that because another ashley parker offspring is on par with that bullshit man/animal hybird bullshit bush was talking about last week in the state of the union.

and another thing about this ashley angel guy, he was stressing about making money and what not. you know, he has to be the man in the family and that means he has to be the bread winner, but next time around, instead of asking your girl's moms, whose like the real life version of meredith from "the (american) office" (the lady has beer for breakfast and probably ice cream for dinner) for money, why not have your preggers girl be a model. i believe that they said she was a model in a episode or two ago, so why not make a couple of bucks for a couple of snaps. why not have the baby do some modeling because we all know how fickle the music biz is. here today, gone about 10 minutes later.

i don't have a good understanding about this pellicano case, but i'm rather interested in finding out why kevin nealon needed the aid of a shady ass p.i. like pellicano. gary shandling, yeah, totally, i get it. stallone, yup, but kevin nealon, huh, what? is it the work of a publicist whose trying way too hard to save their job and keep their client's name out in the press. oh wait, never mind. i actually read the part about kevin nealon after i wrote the above thing and it's sorta boring. pellicano illegaly obtained kevin nealon's information from the dmv. thats sorta boring. you know, he doesn't have a illegal import russian teenaged girl sex slave in his closet.

speaking of "24," so good last night. fox needs to loosen up a bit and let them swear on the show; it'd just make the jack bauer power hour so much more better than before. we have dudes getting shot while wearing bullet proof vests and getting back up like it was nothing. we have junkies doing hit & runs on hobbits; we have edgar smiling; we have jack bauer flipping out over some 15 year old russian girl, but we, the viewers could certainly uses some swears.

okay, so i was bored during a lecture the other day and i started to drift off and at first, i started to think about "24," then i started to think about "24: The Ride" and it'd be like 'star tours,' but you're running with jack bauer and you're shouting. then i wanted to rip off "mr show," so then i thought about, 24: The Ride: The Movie starring joey greco from "cheaters" as the world's most brilliant roller coaster repair guy and he has 90 minutes to fix the '24' ride before its grand openning. can't you see joey wearing his bluetooth headset, talking to the theme park equivlent of edgar and there'd be a storyline about how embarrassed mary lynn rajskhub is to be making an apperance at some theme park.

or at least for the next season of "24" they should totally cast joey greco as a guy who wears a headset and says yeah alot because he'd be brills murray at it.

okay if you run into me these days, i may be making a similar face to this one. you see, apart of my weight loss program is to eat smaller portions of food and well, my body has yet to adjust to this crazy scheme. so when i'm at school, i seem a bit shot out of a cannon. and sure, i could get a snack at school, but its all unhealthy food and of course, i could bring something from home, but you can't look cool, sitting around, eating baby carrots before class starts; not that i look cool to begin with. then i'd bring some of those nature valley granola bars, but if you're sitting down and eating those, you get half of the bars on your shirt and quite frankly with the pit stains i rock, i don't need any more help from granola bits and pieces. not to mention, you could bit your tongue while eating those things. there are so many negatives that come with those granola bars but they are so good and there's always two in a package. so i think i'm going a bit stir crazy inbetween meals. sure, being in a boring lecture for a few hours could've been the problem, but also, i think the lack of food could've been the problem as well. so if you see me and i look like this and you happen to have an apple on you, can i have a bite or two or at least can we walk over to the carls jr, grab a plastic knife and attempt to cut me off a piece from the side you didn't eat yet.


At 10:44 AM , Anonymous just a person said...


clearly you are a skilled writer. i personally think you have a great grasp of the mundane, profane, and everything in between. your columns are long and frequent, and that takes a lot of perseverance and talent. thanks you for sharing your gifts with us.

having said that, i must also say that the term 'brills murray' is lame and annoying. like something that a 'hipster phrase generator' (hosted on whatevs.org , naturally) would come up with. please, for the love of all things interesting, stop using that phrase.

thanks for your dedication to the cause.
-some dude

At 12:44 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

who gives a shit about what others think? eat your carrots son!


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