&t skeet on mischa: 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Mar 23, 2006

my tivo weighs a ton

dude, i know, i know. i hate it too when blogs don't update as often as we want them to, but weirdly, i've just been so focused like dynamite with a laser beam on this script for school. working on this thing has been so therapeutic and alot of fun, but also, it's been one of the most humbling experiences in my life. every friday morning, just talking with my professor, who was one of the major creative forces on an influential tv series from the early 90s; no name dropping, sorry; about my characters and bouncing around ideas and just listening to great stories. so it's like i said, march, is a wash. april will be a good month. i should be (crossing my fingers) done with a draft of the script and i'll be dicking around with term papers, and those are weekend power sessions.

a quick reminder, even though, i feel that this needs no reminding, but the new ghostface killah album is out on tuesday. it's ghostface and it's got production by pete rock, mf doom, madlib and the late great j. dilla. seriously, go out and buy it. also that new t.i. album is out; i don't know, but the more and more stuff i hear off that album, the more and more i think that t.i.p. is actually the king of south.

also, what the fuck is going with the movies? can anybody explain to me, why's there a larry the cable guy movie? great artists like alejandro jodorowsky and todd solondz either spend nearly all of their life savings to make a film or they can't find financing for 16 years for another film, but larry the cable guy gets to make a movie and he's not even trying to act. if one's going to do a filmed version of their act, then just save everybody's time and money by simply making a concert film instead. is there an audience for this film? you know while i'm not a fan of larry's type of comedy, i want to believe that his die hard fans have so understanding of quality control and will just skip the thing. let alone, is an audience large enough to support a larry the cable guy movie? is it that much of movement? i'm just frustrated that a new dario argento film is delayed until the fall, but larry the cable guy gets to crank them out.

another thing, can anybody explain to me, what the show, 'the best damn sports show period' is all about? it looks like a bunch of guys in old ryan seacrests shirts talking about a whole lot of nothing. or at least, i assume it was nothing. the sound wasn't on and i think i hate the show because i started to bowl badly once it came on. but what exactly is this show and makes it the best damn show? from what i say, it was just a bunch of awkward product placements and soddy conversations about march maddness.

seriously, i don't know what's going on anymore. i haven't even watched "veronica mars" yet; i just got disc one of "deadwood" from netflix and it's awesome. watched about 15 minutes; heard about fuck 20 times, the c word at least once, and brad dourif was sticking a metal prog through some dude's skull, so in other words, it's one of the best shows ever.so i have a lot of things to catch up on.

okay, so the other day, i was talking about how awesome boom bip was at walt disney hall. and well, i recorded a bit of the performance, all be it, 30 seconds, on my cell phone. so for those keeping score and interested in, sorta hearing and seeing what the show was like. mind the shooty camera work and mind me talking briefly during one of the clips.

check ya in april cause it's spring break shark attack next week!

Mar 20, 2006

la dolce vita

isn't life great for rachel bilson? hit tv show, a stoner boyfriend, starring in a movie with zach braff written by the guy who wrote crash, and she gets to eat ice cream whenever she wants. probably even for breakfast.

dudes, i got so inspired the other night. not to update this thing more frequent, remember this month is a wash, look forward to april. but i just got inspired by sheer artistry and brilliance. saturday night, i saw boom bip at the walt disney concert hall and during his set, boom bip brought out local favorite busdriver to do a tune and i don't even know where to begin. it was just one of those moments that my words or the snoddy video i recorded on my cell phone would ever done justice to. like if you were to rank it on the all time fun things scale, i think it'd be right above talking to mormon missionaries while watching a movie with a boat load of swears in it, something david mamet. but the word 'fun' isn't really the right word. maybe 'awesome' and 'wow, i wish i could be as creative as that' and perhaps, 'fuck' is the right word for the situation. now, allow myself to add this into the mix, i was not a boom bip fan before the show; i was sorta bored by his last album, but on stage, the guy is amazing; seriously, if boom bip ever goes on tour and he's in your area, check him out. although, if he pulls a dntel, then don't hold it against me.

i've seen jimmy tamborello a couple of times, but as apart of the postal service, but you know, i dug the dntel record, but when he performed at the walt disney thing, he just dicked around with his laptop for 45 minutes playing tea kettle sound effects and static. you know, if i want to people dick around with sound effects, i'd open up soundtrack pro and get back to work on that song i've been making using nothing but gun sound effects. yeah, i know he's probably in the process of making a new album and he wants to experment, but you know, don't experment at the disney hall when people have paid good money. save that for the echo or internet radio.

and there was this other guy, john tejada, he did a set and it was good, but it's werid to watch somebody perform who simply bops his head up and down as he touches a couple of keys on a keyboard and taps some other electronic device. you know, he'd touch a couple of things and a slightly different song would come on and you know, he'd do a little hand twirl after he had something new to the song. and the audience were going nuts like a couple of 14 year olds at a blood brothers show.

i'm always weirded out by audiences at shows, but this one was one of the rare ones were the audience actually made me feel young. there were alot of old people, but you know, they acted young. you know, i'm in mid 50s, but i still wear a leather jacket and make art kind of old people, yet the andy warhol looking dude and his wife were the first ones to fall asleep during the show. then, i saw some guy who was wearing the same exact shirt i was that night and that's always an unusual situation. i think its more awkward for women then it is for men because i treated like it was a mirror, okay, that's how i look in this shirt, all right, well, i better eat less food tomorrow and run a couple of laps.

also, the walt disney hall its self. beautiful venue, sounds great, but the leg room in the terrance section is terrible. i'm not a super tall person, if anything, i'd say i'm short, but my legs were crushed. so a word to the wise for anybody going to that place; maybe do some yoga and park in the employee parking lot cause you won't have to pay.

semi related, at this show, i saw a professor i had last semester and i didn't know what the protocol was. do you say hey or do you snicker in the corner with your friend about the situation or do you say, 'wow, i got better seats than my old professor does. maybe i should trade since i got an a in her class'? its always weird seeing teachers out of that environment; let alone the small talk that has to be made.

then again, when ever have i been good with the small talk?

everybody is kicking themselves right about now cause the criterion editon of dazed & confused comes out in june after most of us bought the last version that came out a year or two. although, some may say and i tend to agree, that this film is worth the double dip.

i'm not into gq; cause why is it called gentlemen's quarterly when it's out every month, but anyways, their story on adriana lima is killer. well, i didn't read the story as much as i got distracted by adriana lima's amazing shoes and how she's bringing back the fonzie look.

anybody been keeping abreast with jessica from "laguna beach"'s travel blog? if you're into chicks wearing pea coats, then it's a must read.

the other day i went to the marc jacobs store on melrose with my friend, rose. she had ordered one of those blondie shirts, which look pretty cool, and she was picking it up. me, being me, i just stood right next to the front door and waited. the store was about to close up and all the people who work there seemed like they were getting ready to have a good saturday night as they had cracked open a bottle of wine and having a couple of laughs. and i was unsure what to do, do i just continue to stand in my spot and wait or could i look around the store, i took a step forward and put my shoe on the carpet and i quickly retracted my foot cause you know how when you're over at your friend's house and they play by canadian rules (no shoes in the house), but you didn't know they played canadian rules and you took a small step onto their super new carpet and you felt like a jerk cause you know, you're wearing dirty sneakers. thats how i felt at marc jacobs, that my dirty new balance sneaker was about to ruin their nice, fluffy carpet and i just continued to wait inside in a corner. sure, i could've played some tunes on my phone, but i don't know if the people at marc jacobs would've apperciate bo hagon's "w'zup" as much i would've at that moment.

for those who've been keeping score, i've been talking alot junk about busta rhymes and his 48 different remixes of "touch it" and how he's on every single remix on sirius right now, but i have to say that busta is rather nice on the tune, "cannon" from the gangtsa grillz album. and if you didn't already know, the best way to sleep a friday night stuck in rush hour is with the aphilliates on shade45.

can somebody explain as to why it costs $265 dollars for an ice cream hoodie? i'm just wondering.

the best part about you tube is the variety of it: you could watch the new cam'ron video (jj walker is priceless as jay-z) or you could watch the trailer for johnny benson (the guy in the yellow shirt is loosely inspired by yours truly), but probably the best part about you tube aside from the random music videos bored junior high kids make, is that people post videos for classic songs like souls of mischief's "93 till infinity". watching that video makes me wish that spring break shark attack was sooner and the weather was better. geez, its in the 50s and its been raining. i thought this was southern california, people?

forget about v for vendetta, what natalie portman needs to do is a remake of every which way but loose. and just in general, we need more movies where people are paired up with chimps and what have you nots; it just would things that more interesting. people would actually want to go see a kate hudson movie for a chance, if instead of having to raise a couple of wacky kids, she had to take care of a chimp, a gorilla, and a orangutan. that's more interesting and that's more funny, too. you know, that scene, i think it's a couple of scenes before the one where they sing along with a pop song with hairbrush microphones, but you know that scene where the single girl is getting a bit cheeky with a guy, then the kid cries or something stupid that stupid kids do; but instead of a crying brat, it's replaced with a chimp throwing shit onto the back of the dreamy, rude guy, who at first, is sorta into it, but then you know the female actress freaks out and the guy starts to realize that shit is covered all over his back. this is the kind of magic that would bring people back to the cinemas or at least start an outbreak of netflix subscriptions. or say, if it's a rom com with sarah jessica parker, like the guy could end up making out with the orangutan, thinking it was sarah jessica parker and once he realized it was an orangutan, he'd probably end up sticking with it. come on, hollywood, let's move that bus and bring back the ape sidekick!

Mar 15, 2006

shot out of a cannon

i don't know who champ bailey is and he probably makes horrible records, but his tune, "fuck yo couch" not only has a great title, but it also features the best use of a dave chappelle quote ever.

i don't even know what i'm talking about right now.

i had a moment that was straight out of broken flowers today and i watched your friends & neighbors, so i'm a little woozy, but i do in fact have a better understanding as to why jason patric doesn't work as much as he used to.

just drums

head lights

i feel sad in saying this, but honestly, the only news program i watch on a daily basis is e! news live and i go way back with this show. like i can fondly remember the days of steve kmetko and jules anser as the anchors. then that period when it was just jules anser, a post "wild on.." jules anser, may i add. there was even an incident on robin brown and myself's public access television show where we did an ambush interview with an e! reporter outside of their building. i remember when guiuliana depandi first came onto the news team with her blonde hair and how she referered to herself one time on air as 'the slutty girl around the newsroom'. i even stuck through e! news during the bizzaro period when some dude with salt & peper hair and the girl who used to be on cnn headlines with the dreads were the anchors. and as of late, some of the more frequent readers may have noticed that over the past couple of weeks, i've developed a slightly uncomfortable crush upon reporter samantha harris. so you can tell that i'm an e! news fan.

yet, the past two days, i tune into my news program and i get nothing but bullshit. i see this horrible set and i see ryan seacrest adding nothing. take that back, i see a weird plugs for seacrest's morning show on kissfm out in the greater southern california area and i'm just wondering what happened to my news? i mean it was bad enough that e! news interviews perez hilton on a semi regular basis in the same manner that a major news network department would handle one of their white house correspondts, then the extremely unnecessary dismisal of patrick stinson. what is the point of seacrest as the anchor? what these two to three minute softball tossing session with hiliary duff?

hilary duff, by the way, is starting to look like aileen wuornos in the face a little bit. i don't know maybe she's getting ready for a part in a movie, perhaps a prequel to monster or recently enrolled in the lionel richie's daughter's acting studio (personally, i would've gone with acting lessons with jeffrey tambor and dropping a couple hundred bucks, just talking about how he decided what was the best way to say, "hey now!"), but something is rotten in a stainless refrigerator in the hollywood hills.

but i'm getting off my point; if there even is a point, but i'm saying is this, e! is a network that builts its name on a few things: howard stern, late night showings of "wild on...", the true hollywood story and celebrity trial reenactments. two things of those things were dude centric things; we tune into stern cause it's stern and we tune into "wild on..." to see some blurred out boobies cause the free six months of cinemax ran out and the other two things are goofy, fun things to watch. they're the equilvent of comfortable food. but now, e! with this whole seacrest being the brand of the network is just shooting themselves in the foot. have fun in september when idol is nowhere in sight.

i have two questions to ask. myself, personally, i know two people who watch the show, "grey's anatomy," and that's about it. this show has become this gigantic rating drugernaut, but who exactly is watching it? i've never been in a conversation with somebody whose told me, 'man, you have to check out 'grey's anatomy'. it's so good.' usually, its a one sided conversation with me talking about how awesome 'veronica mars' is. but there are people out there who watch this show and i'm not being judgemental about the show or any thing, i just want to know, who exactly is out there watching or is it like spice girls cds back in the day? they sold alot of records, but nobody is fessing up about anything.

my other question is, and i think i have may have to give some junior high kids cigarettes to get an answer, but can somebody tell me the difference between panic at the disco and fall out boy? i think they're the same shitty band and millions of kids are being duped and quite frankly, we should pursue some legal action about the matter.

bencio del toro as the wolf man? makes perfect sense, but for 110 minutes? i don't know about that. maybe in one of those zippy, increasingly unfunny snl digital shorts, sure, bencio could go nuts, but a whole movie? anybody ever see that movie where nicholson was a werewolf? i think bencio wants to be nicholson and i heard that next season, he's gonna have floor seats for clippers

kanye: the movie? sounds like an interesting concept and can potentially be the big break for alot of new filmmakers, but it'll probably be chris milk and a couple of other video directors.

i'm signing off on the new jr writer mixtape; the more stuff dip set puts out there, the better. anybody know if that "the movement moves on" album is just gonna be a mixtape or a real album, let alone, the track listing; supposed to be out in a little less than a month from now.

you know that i have to go there, so here it is, 8th & ocean last night, please tell me that you caught the cold open and you saw the greatest thing in the history of the world, the "model's for christ" group. holy shit. holy shit, so brilliant. i could never ever think something that brilliant even if i had portions of david mamet's & mitchell hurwitz's brains transpanted into my head. the dvd for the series needs to be out next week and it needs to have all of the footage from that shoot. just imagine one of those stupid abercombine & fitch ads coming to life and they're sitting in a circle, talking about their relationship with jesus. now if real church was like that, i'd go. i'd be there for every meeting, listen, be supportive and hell, even bring some punch and treats; you know, a small supply of sandwiches from lee's cause you know, with all of the left overs, i'd have lunch for a few days. then the rest of the episode, we're introduced to vincini who has to the 'tony montana' of male models; he gives this great speech about how can he can't sleep at night because he's worrying about how he has to call in the morning to figure out what castings to go to; i can't describe it and i wish it was youtubed, but it's just so amazing. that whole entire scene is amazing. i am telling you guys, tuesday night is going to be the best night for ego maniacs tv. next tuesday is the return of "blow out" and i can hardly wait to hear jonathan antin's speeches on how having a child has really changed his perspective on hair styling and how he's in the process of creating a hair care line for tolders cause what parent doesn't want their child to have volumized hair? your tivo may explode next tuesday.

although, it should be noted that i most likely will not sign off on "the real housewives of orange county; only because who wants to watch a bunch of old ladies pumped full of valium, botox and saline parade in capri pants acting like they're l.c. from mtv's "laguna beach" or something.

sorry that i've been so scatterbrain with the old skeet shoot this month. i've been too wrapped up in this script i'm writing for class and i want to say i'll do a better job updating the rest of the month, but i probably won't. just look forward to april because i should be done with the script by then.

i totally thought that the will ferrell dying in a paragliding accident story was real because when i first heard about it, i was in a car, going to get my haircut and i've reached a point in my listenership with the btls where i can trust bubba and his producer came on mic and told the story and i freaked out because i have no access to computer in my car, naturally. so i'm frantically flipping the dial to get to the one of the cnn stations to hear confirmation, but i get a message fron a friend who says that it wasn't true and then i felt better about myself because i was so close to writing something about i thought will ferrell was losing his edge; anybody see the trailer to his nascar movie yet?, and i would've looked like a total asshole, well i'm already an asshole, but you know what i mean.

and finally, after what seems like months, perhaps even years, the best hour long drama on tv, "veronica mars" (the best drama on cable is "big love," trust me, it'll get good) is finally back on. you have no excuse to miss it tonight. "lost" is starting to suck these days and it's a repeat and quite frankly, i'm ankling the show after this season and the best way to watch the "american idol" results show is if you fast forward to the last 5 minutes. there's no excuses, unless you know, you're getting an hj in the alley after the models for christ meeting.

one more thing, there's alot of talk about kristin cavalleri & nick latchkeykid hooking up in the press and i just have to wonder, don't these reporters know the rules about bros? nick lachey is best bros with matt lein(lion)hert and as we all know, matt leinhert has gone out with kristin cavalleri; it's just an unwritten code that i believe ken baker of us weekly doesn't get, bros don't date each other's ex girlfriends even if the guy says its cool because if you have to ask if it's cool to date the person, then you know its not cool. and you have to realize that the last thing nick lachey wants to be around is another ditzy blonde; you would think the guy would be having a jam session on par with shawn kemp with all the brunettes in la la land. you know, lacey, meadow soporano's ex husband and leinhert were supposed to be the new pussy pose and they were supposed to be leaving their signature stds with so many personal assitants and girls who work on roberston blvd.

Mar 13, 2006

the english are waiting...

i think its safe to assume that i love america and well, i think its safe to assume that we all love america. sure, i may not agree with all of the decisions of the current presidency and the bullshit wars they start and their bullshit supreme court appointees who'll most likely take away the right of a woman's choice, but i love all of the freedoms that are granted to me as an american. in particular, the freedom as an american, to boo and make rude comments about derek jeter and alex rodriguez as i watch them during the world baseball classic. is anybody else following this? i'll fess up, i haven't been and even though, i went to the game between usa & japan yesterday, i'll probably continue on not follow the thing, but since it was free tickets (shout outs to robin brown & his knowledge of sports talk radio call in shows), yesterday, this game between usa & japan was the most important thing ever.

the thing about the game play, is that its on par with an all star game. nobody is legging out a single into a double; nobody is going to knock over the catcher, darrin erstad style to secure a victory for his country. you know, its just a bunch of dudes goofing off during spring break. and like the usa team, i had no clue as to who a majority of the people on the team were and the way some of those dudes were hitting, i just assumed that they were pulled off the street and thrown into the game. then you got baseball's version of jack & ennis, derek 'cheater' jeter and alex 'a-fraud' rodriguez striking out and grounding out each time they were up to bat, proving on a global scale that the yankees suck harder than a hoover vaccum or paris hilton; whatever works out for you.

yet, here's the thing and for most people, this team brought people together. red sox fans were cheering for jeter and yankee fans were asking for the manager to put in jason vartek, but i couldn't make that connection with the team. i screamed and i shouted and i yelled 'go usa!' but there's no way in hell that i will ever cheer on derek jeter in angels stadium. i just can't do that; that's like telling me i can't eat anymore sandwiches from lee's or that i can't ever eat chicken & waffles again. it just can't be done. there's just too much hostility on my behalf to ignore and i must shower jeter in my boos and shouts of "easy out" much to the delight of myself and the japanese fans around me. i have to say that for those 9 extremely intense innings and even through that bullshit call that took away a run from japan, we all remained calm and peaceful. baseball brought us together and for the most part, we were happy about it. people were polite about things. a yankee fan who accused me of being unamerica cause of my jeter boos, later apologized for the fact that i was forced to cheer for a fraud as he knocked in the game winner and the japanese guys in front of us, shook our hands and said good game.

the olympics don't have the power to bring people together, but really good baseball players can bring people together. there's all this strife and conflict in the world today, why not play some baseball and bring everybody together. have a couple of beers, some overpriced hot dogs, load the kids up on cotton candy and just hang out for 3 and half hours, talking shit, laughing and cheering on your team.

so, i'm slowly making my way through the new season of "the real world"; i've watched like maybe 25 minutes of the first episode, so far and this season is sorta like that one book everybody tells you have to read and it's just pure torture reading the thing, so you'll read a couple of pages, put it away, forget about it, pick it up again, read a couple more pages, but then, you just forget about it and you just put it in some highly visable spot in your bookcase to impress people. and from what i've seen, i've sorely missjudged tyler, who is perhaps the most persnickety gay guy they've ever had. he's way more evil than justin from "real world: hawaii". my feeling about the key west show has changed from being a tempetation island knockoff to the key west season is a remake of the hawaii season just with not as much as nudity. janelle is kaia, svetlana is amaya, that anoxerica girl is ruthie and the dudes are well, the dudes. i'm telling you, its the same show cept none of the girls will be toploose.

dude, how creepy is harry dean stanton on "big love"? maybe, i'm a bit over zealous since "big love" is my first hbo drama, but i'm digging the heck out of it even though i had to see bill paxton's paxton. it has a really twisted sense of humor; full of creepy, atomspheric performances by the aforementioned harry dean stanton & melora "now that i've met you, would you object to never seeing me again?" walters and it's got lilly kane and mac from "veronica mars" in it. it was so good that i didn't even want to pause it with the dvr. seriously, its worth getting hbo just to watch harry dean stanton or at least, waiting 9 months until the dvd is on netflix, but by the time, you get it, it'll be all scratched up and won't play; seriously, hbo or at least, pester hbo to see it on itunes or at least hit up the torrent scene.

it should be noted that not only is howard stern on letterman tonight, but starting today, on howard 100, they're gonna be playing his show all day long. so in theory and if my sketchy math is correct, 19 hours aday, one will be able to hear the howard stern show on howard 100. although, i'd highly recommend tuning into the btls from 1 to 5 (my time) on howard 101. those dudes are always up to shady shit and ned will have you peeing your pants. and just in general, sirius radio is something you need to get. not to just hear howard or ned prank calling some retirement home, but the music on there is so good. one night i was coming home and on one station was ice cube's "cave bitch," which i think was when cube was at his most miliant and on another was pulp's "this is hardcore." honestly, tell me where are you going to hear that on the radio? unless, revenge is some how added into pulp's name, you're not gonna hear them and the only cube record they're gonna play on the radio is that put your back into one, which was pretty lame back in the early 2000s.

a heads up to everybody, the new rainer maria album comes out in april and i'm not a fan of them, but i love the single from the album. i think it's the best song out there right now and i'm getting a very strong "more adventurous" type of vibe with this album; they just seem a lot more confident, but i haven't heard alot of their stuff, but keeps your ears open in april.

i never thought i would say this, but the most subversive show on tv right now is "x-play". it shouldn't make any sense that a show that reviews video games packs in so many jokes about the current political situation and today's society as well as hiding them in a review of the lastest mega man game. some of the jokes on the show, i don't get because i don't play video game, but for the most part, i get it and it's funny; real funny. and now, i bet you're thinking to yourself, i'm too good for a show on g4, and here's the thing, you are, but you're not above watching an episode of "x play". this is a show that did a whole episode preaching the values of communism, then a follow up episode about how awesome america is. i'd love to see the people who write for this show do something outside of the world of video games and tv producers, pilot season is coming up and you should probably steal away some of those x play writers to make that joke where an overweight guy says something about overeating to his incredibley thin and attractive wife sing.

i mostly wrote about "x play," so i could have some sorta segway between topics. okay, last friday, in a class of mine, we had a special guest lecture from a professor that my department was thinking of hiring. besides totally destroying the schedule of the class, creating no time for both a lecture & a screening; instead, we just got the lecture and some g.i. joe psas, but thats besides the point. my thing about this special lecture was that it fell completely on its face and had absolutely no 'wow!' factor at all. you're telling me that you're gonna impress a department by giving a lecture about the differences between the game, halo and the film, the matrix for 30 minutes straight? that makes no sense whatsoever. if one's going to talk about the cross influences between video games and films, why not talk about grand theft auto lifts most of its plotlines from gangster films. and as i'm watching this guy giving his lecture, i realized that i probably have a shot of being a professor at my school. you know, if i learned how to whip up some snazzy power point business, i could give a killer lecture on the film, the raiders of atlantis and the science of awesomology. me and mark from hella awful over last winter break nearly wrote a course outline for a class on explotion films, but now, i think we have a shot of getting somebody to listen us give a lecture. i mean, who wouldn't love to have watching switchblade sisters as their homework?

and finally, that reunion special on "flavor of love" can't happen soon enough. i can't wait two weeks.

Mar 10, 2006

sunrise superman

so i caught a rerun of mtv's "8th & ocean" the other day. much like the city of new york, it's a show so nice that you have to watch it twice. but anyways, as i'm watching this show, there's this part where irene mare is talking to sabriana, the twin with the bad skin; side bar, isn't there nothing better than a girl with bad skin and big bazooms? so this woman is telling sabriana that she has a dead face when she photographs; granted, sabriana doesn't photograph that well, but where does irene mare get off in telling somebody that they look dead in the face? that lady's face would no signs of activity even if she had a seismograph attached to her face and the big one that'll finally rock southern california to its very foundations, danny bonaduce style, was going on. these dr. 90210 aren't helping people out, they're just turning really rich people into aliens. and while there may be life on saturn (which should answer david bowie's question), i just don't think that turing people into aliens now is going to be beneficial. when george bush some how manages to alter the constitution and gets elect to a 3rd term, then yeah, lets look like aliens and asked to be beamed, but now, not a smooth move.

screw watching the hills have eyes remake when they're nearly finished with dvd. go out to a theater, watch it, be frustrated that the people who are talking during the movie aren't saying anything remotely interesting and helpful to the film and leave or put it on your queue, wait a couple of weeks, completely forget about it, get it one day in the mail, and be like, "why did i put an over stylized horror film on my list? " as a fan of the wes craven original and due to the fact that claire from "lost" is in the remake, i'm gonna skip out on this one. if i could barely make through an episode of "lost," with claire screaming about her baby every 10 minutes, what makes me think i could sit through 90 minutes of her screaming about stuff?

also, is one of those gambling sites taking bets on how much longer until we hear clare say that a dingo took her baby on an episode of "lost"? how come that show is going down the shitter so fast? the great uncle grambo said that the downfall of "lost" lies within the hands of scientology and quite frankly, i have to agree. to me, it seemed as if jj abrams was spreading himself too thin with all of the other tv stuff he does besides "lost," but i think he was this voice of reason, a voice of quality control thats been lacking all too much this past season. not to mention that david fury isn't a writer on the show anymore cause he's too busy writing episodes of "24" where terrorists use flame throwers and lovable losers who are computer programers die to nerve gas exposure.

anybody else weirded out by the fact that c thomas howell and elisha cuthbert have an implied relationship on "24" this season? or are all we just weirded out by c thomas howell in general these days?

semi related: for those who are becoming increasingly dissatisifed with "lost," a brand new episode of "veronica mars" airs this upcoming wednesday night; its gonna be killer.

ever hear the song, "just drums" by tapes 'n tapes? yeah, it's like this good. they are very few things in this life that are this good and we should all apperciate them and if others blew it and missed some goodness, tell them stories about how good it was, like how robin brown will sometimes tell the story about how he saw a dog just hanging out on a trampoline one time

i have five things to say about last night's "the oc":
-since when did brea look like barstow? 3 days a week, i'm kitty corner from the city of brea and it looks nothing like that and what fucking road were they on to get to the 5, then to get over to the 57? thats like my daily commute and while they got the roads right, they fucking blew it, location wise. not to mention, if they were coming from newport, they would've gone 55 to the 5 to the 57, but i digress
-how dare they mock the brilliance of nick lachey's alleged (according to e! news daily) new lovin cushion push pin, kristin cavalleri's voice overs from "laguna beach: the real orange county"? don't be all sour grapes about how their show is better than yours. you know, make fun of the new season's voice overs cause the new season is gonna blow, but kristin cavalleri's v.o.s were excellent.
-since when did bailbondsmen listen to tom vek? that "c.c." tune is pretty awesome; vek's got production skills for days & weeks, but i'm just not sure that bail bondsmen from indio would be into that stuff, unless they're total sirius marks and the btls was on a commercial break, so they flipped around the dial or they were listening to the station out in indio that plays all the bands who are going to be coachella, so the locals will know what the city's source of revenue are talking about when they loiter in their various fast food establishments and targets.
-why did it take me so long to realize that patrick batemen is sandy's new partner in the newport group? and why is this guy still on the show?
and finally,
-how did they manage to make two outta control hot girls in a hot tub boring? it was like listening to the clean version of n.w.a.'s "fuck the police". sure, i wasn't expecting them to go full blown skinmax jones, but you know, at least 'the cw' things up a bit. yet, what do we get some lamey one liner from seth cohen.

i haven't listened to much of the new yeah yeah yeahs album. only a couple of tracks and i wouldn't necessarily say it's a monet album; sounds good on paper, but upon first listen, its not that good. it's more like when you're up in the cheap seats at a basketball game and the cheerleaders look really killer, but then they show them on the jumbotron and it's a total bad new bears situation. for some people, they're into that, but me, i'm not or at least, it may take a couple of listens, but i have yet to be wowed by the new yeah yeah yeahs record. and i understand that karen o is dating spike jonze and that his brother did that one song from the adidums commercial from last year, but it doesn't mean spike jonze's brother has to produce the whole album. let nick zinner go off and do wacky shit with his gaggle of pedals.

if you haven't heard "mr. november" by the national yet, then i don't know what's wrong with you. to say its a call to action is a great undrestatement. it's just one of those songs that people like myself who never write songs say that they wish they wrote.

its supposed to be raining rather badly this weekend in the southern california area and i have a problem with the rain. when it rains rather heavily, you know, water builds up in the gutters and occasionally, people unfortunately have to walk when its raining, i know because i've been there, but i'm just wondering does anybody else have this perverse mixed emotion in their stomach when they see somebody walking when its raining, like they want to splash since its funny because its not you, but at the same time, there's that creeping feeling of being the world's biggest asshole since that old astronaut guy from the new season of "survivor" as you get some helpless person wet from the splashback.

and finally, this weekend marks a big event for yours truly. now, for a while, i had the great ablitiy to say that i've never seen a james dean film, but i had to watch one for a class and that ruined everything. but i can still claim that i've never read a harry potter book and more importatnly, i've never watched an episode of "the soporanos" nor any other hbo drama series. everybody talks and talks about the hbo dramas being so good and so addictive, so naturally, i want no part of it. yet when i heard about "big love" about a year and half ago at a midnight screening of david lynch's wild at heart, i was rather interested by the show and the fact that bill paxton was going to be a polygamist, you know sign me up. so here i stand, on the verge of making a connection with one of these hbo shows and able to say, 'oh yeah, i've seen that show.' hopefully it'll be awesome cause then i'll be left out of dinner conversations and what not.

although, i'm attempting to get on the "deadwood" trolley.

Mar 9, 2006

the sweet hereafter

so, last night, i had a sit down with my spiritual adviser, his wife and their disenfranchised teenaged daughter about things. we hit up the e meters and you know, just really talked things through. my guru said that quite possibly that i'm spreading myself too thin and maybe i should ease up on things for a bit. his wife said that i should've used those vip cards for the spearmint rhino i got outside the staples center the other night cause she said that i could really go for a lap dance. my guru also said that this wacky, high starvation, high fiber, low anything fun to eat diet isn't doing anything for me; his exact words were, 'people who just had gastric bypass surgery eat more than you do.' but, chantal, like she always does and very much like dj justice cuts things to size and said, "fuck the bullshit and you just said that you're thinking of quiting cause you wanted some comments." so in other words, i think that i'm going to slugging it out for a while. its like everybody else said haters are going to hate and you know, there's always going to be haters out there for anything that's done. i mean, for a brief period of time, i was a hater on the show, "extreme makeover: home edition" because it made me feel bad that i haven't and most likely won't do anything that will be beneficial to society as a whole. i'll write about eva longoria isn't that much of a stunner in a person and how there's a girl in a class of mine thats hot than she is and somebody may dig on that, but you know, its not on par with building a house for a guy whose lost his legs, who has a better attitude than myself.

also, chantal said that i was acting like jake gyllenhaal's mustache, whatever that means. my guru agree, but his wife didn't cause she didn't see the movie yet, but it's in her netflix queue though.

i tell that i'm feeling extremely exhausted when it comes to writing as of late. last week, i threw myself into this script i'm writing for school. i cranked out an insane amount of pages or at least an insane amount of pages for me and my theme for that period of time was n.w.a.'s classic, "100 miles and running". i have until may to finish the thing, but i want to finish it before spring break, so i can spend the rest of time rewriting and working on other stuff for school. so i've sent my pages off to my professor and i've been playing this insanely nerve racking waiting game. basically, i've become sal the stockbroker and i need validation for what i've written. i apperciate the feedback i got from mark of hella awful, but when he's reading my stuff, i'm sending him text messages every 5 minutes for feedback. did that joke work? what if i do this? will that freak out a guy who worked with david lynch? etc. and its very pesky and annoying and i'm sure that mark has his own shit to deal with, although, to me and my little fucked up world, me getting notes on my pages is the most important thing that could happen, even more important than dick chaney shooting george bush; well, take that back, finding the number of the girl that cut my hair a month or two ago ranks higher than a potential chaney/bush ass capping cause my hair is getting rather unruly julie status. but any ways, i'm just playing this weird little waiting game where i think, maybe if i don't sit in front of my computer talking about how i haven't watched the finale of "project runway" yet and how i nearly bowled into the triple figures for the first time without the aid of bumpers, notes will magically appear in my inbox and i can breathe this gigantic sigh of relief. instead, i just check my mail every couple of hours and just keep on adding films to my netflix queue.

if anything, i think i want this little blog thing to be a shinning example that i should probably seek out psychiatric treatment within the next couple of years. we've all been wanting to say it, its just a been a matter of somebody finally stepping to the plate.

i feel like its such old news to still talk about how much bullshit the oscars were since crash won best picture, but what's even more of a slap in the face, is the win for its editing. if it was actually a well editied film, it would've been only 10 minutes long and it would've been about the guy who gives his daughter the invisable bullet proof vest cause that scene has impact, but you know, its surrounded by a bunch of bullshit that's more just about as interesting as watching people ordering at mcdonalds.

i understand that terri hatcher went through a very fucked up and extremely traumatic event, but doesn't it somewhat cheapen the story when she's on vanity fair in her undies? [via defamer couldn't they have put more clothes on her if they're place quotes where she talks about how she has thought about suicide? when did vanity fair get all fhmaximstuff'd out?

Mar 8, 2006

say that to say this....

man, seriously last night i was as excited as e! reporter samantha harris is all the flippin' time.

before i get to the detail. its only one thing, but there's a bit of a backstory, so deal. i was leaving class the other night and i get a message from robin brown telling me that he just won clippers tickets and if i would go. of course, i'd go because who am i to turn down free tickets to anything. he won the tickets in some radio call in contest. etc.

here's the thing before the thing, clippers game, oddly, are alot of fun. perhaps, the most fun i've had at a sport event in i dunno how many years. they're pretty well attended, but its still small of a crowd that one starts to believe that their idoit comments have some sorta impact. yelling at tim duncan and calling a robot could hurt his feelings, most likely it doesn't, but there's this fleeting bit of hope and then, you look at the box score for game and how duncan had about 5 fouls, maybe it worked after all is said and done. then there's the whole clippers fan situation, their superfans are the best because you know that these people have suffered for so many years of shitty team after shitty team, but now, they're finally getting their desserts and it's great to see to some crazy guy in a blue and red suit jumping around and yelling during the game. so don't knock a clippers game until you go and quite frankly, if i wasn't too sketched out by the parking situation around staples, i'd go to more games or at least put it under serious consideration.

and for am radio contest prize tickets, they were good, really good. good enough for me to spend portions of the game watching tony parker's girlfriend, eva longoria watch the game. it should be noted that parker did better when she wasn't watching the game which made me feel like a reporter from tmz. and the thing about eva longoria, not that killer in person; sure, she's pocket sized, but there's not that much of a holy moly factor. and she was sitting somebody who i believe was an english teacher from my high school (and to the haters out there and you'll agree with this statement: boy, did he fail on the job when he taught me! aha!) and a bridgette nielsen lookalike.

yet, the better celebrity spotting was frankine muniz. at first, i see some kid and his sister walking to their court side seats and think nothing of it other than a bunch of rich kids. then, robin brown points out that its frankie muniz, who was wearing a modern version of a charlie brown shirt and his galpal who looked like a broken down version of samaire armstrong. and all through out the game, i wishing that a loose ball would knock him out or at least, a player would crash into him in an attempt to save the ball, but never it happened. all that happened from where i was sitting, was frankie muniz telling his galpal about he'd be ready to pass the ball over shaun livngston if it were to come to him.

on the matter of "8th & ocean," i was surprised by how shakey the camera work was. they're not going after an antonioni esque visual style, but it's more like sven nykvist meets mid 90s chris doyle visual style. and if the first episode is an indiction of the rest of the series, briana hicks is going to be wallpaper for the show.

and finally, as of late, there's been a steady stream of hate mail. here's the thing, you guys won. i'll probably be quitting this thing in another month or two. so you know, you won't have to read my misspelled thoughts on how hate this show and my usage of 'fuck' every other sentence. i'm sorry that i'm just doing this to goof off and maybe make a couple of other people chuckle. you know, i'm sorry that i don't tackle the same topics that everybody else tackles; you know, i can't help the fact that i like to watch mtv shows and like to use different nick names for breasts. its just not fun to say breasts or should i say 'tits' instead? would the use of 'tits' really drive home the point that the russian girl from the new real world has really awesome breasts. and guys, i bookmarked the merriam-webster website, so maybe it'll help me out in the home stretch but more importantly, it'll help you guys out. maybe i'll step things up and start to write about how excited i am that the sopranos are back, but i've never watched any episode of that show and never will or how awesome the new band of the week is. you know, different strokes for different folks.

its like i've always said, when it stops being fun, then i'll just move over to the spin off and goof off over there.

Mar 7, 2006

lets not forget aka going postal

dudes, hopefully you're like me and already set up your dvr to capture the commercial free greatness of mtv's "8th & ocean". i will unfornately not be home to capture the magic (thus, putting my return to normal updates back a couple of days; sorry, charlie), my dvr will and i'm go out on a limb here, but i think this one is going to be way better than "laguna beach".

also, i tried to watch the new real world the other night. yeah, that crushin' russian's knobs are phenomenal like dario argento's phenomena, but watching this video of just blaze playing on his mpc was way more interesting. if they could combine the two, that crushin' russian and dudes dickin' around on mpcs, i think you may have a winner there.

also, what the fuck? no veronica mars this week, but there's a two fucking hour episode of "american's next top model"? who the fuck still watches that show? the people or at least, me and 100 other people demand new v mars instead of watching some show that gets a heavy set girl's hopes up.

also, fuck nbc. two weeks without any episodes of "the office," one new episode, then a bunch of repeats. fuck that. crank out the new ones; its the only show besides earl and law & order: milk monitor that people care about on that network. (as i wear a conan obrien t shirt)

also, if i hear another fucking ad for sons & daughters, i'm going to cut my ears off. how fucking annoyning is that shit? how scary funny is that hiliarous improv comedy? just a shinning example as to why the world needs writers.

also, who hasn't called this girl yet and heard some cranky old lady on the other end of the line?

i gotta jet, there's a lean cusinie with my name on it.

Mar 5, 2006

the good, the bad, and the ugly

the good: three 6 mafia wins for best song, even though al kapone wrote the better song from that film.

the bad: crash wins for best screenplay. i'm not a fan of the squid & the whale by any strencth of the imagination, but at least it was clever and original. you know, it wasn't a piss poor remake of that sketch they did on "saturday night live" 13 years ago about "real world: los angeles" where everybody called everybody a racist for five minutes.

the ugly: crash wins best picture. what the fuck? i believe it was a greater upset than dion bebee winning for best cinematography over emmanuel lubezki's stunning work in malick's the new world. i mean, fuck, flooding the voters with screeners actually works if your film is a steaming pile of shit.

oh well. it'll all be forgotten in a year.

back on wednesday.

Mar 1, 2006

a million and one

i'm surprised by how long it took, but never the less, the spin off back lash has begun. and oddly, i sorta agree with the guy, but then again, whenever has a spin off been anything decent with exception to "family matters", naturally.

unrelated though, i'm taking the week off. finally got hot on another thing i'm working on and my homework is taking alot out of me. who knew watching the first season of "lizzie mcguire" would be so tasking? remeber when hiliary duff was chubby and didn't have that scary looking sister attached at her hip? oh those were the good old days.

these two are the best reason why to watch the new season of "the amazing race"; that one girl is like the puerto rican rachel mcadams.

and finally, on k fed's my space page, there's a track by the game on there and the game makes references to k fed in the song and k fed has two lines on the song, but thats about it. i don't know what the game is doing these days. first, the butterfly tattoo, then he hangs out with the good charlotte guys (who own dim mak), then i see him using his son as a way to hit on giuliana depandi at the grammys and now, he's defending and doing records with k-fed; what? maybe 50 was right after all is said and done.

also, fuck les moonves