not going home
when i was thinking of writing this, i was going to open with that old joke of you know, on such such day, god created (insert noun here) and why didn't he rest on that day or something in a similar nature because thats how i feel about the state of arizona.
beastality isn't a crime in arizona, did you know that? seriously, not a crime and i have to say, what the fuck is going on? and now the government or whatever one calls the lawmakers are just now considering making it against the law. just now getting around to it. they don't even show conan o'brien, but one can have sex with a sheep or maybe they show conan, i just didn't stay up late enough to catch it. you can tell alot about an area by its local news and you know if a top story on the evening news is about randy johnson & his baby mama drama , then something is askew or the field reporters are busting the shit of teens who walked out of class during the immigration portests. "not all of them seemed to know what they were protesting; i think they just wanted to leave school." no shit, dude, of course, they want to leave. nobody wants to be in school, not even the teachers want to be there, so let the kids protest and walk out, even if they don't know what they're talking. that's how everybody is at protests; it's a mess of people unite under one cause to support their own individual causes. not to mention, we should be gland that this normally and usually apathetic generation is motivated to stand up for something. we can't protest a war, but, if people can get up and be vocal about something, then right on.
and the weather in arizona is terrible. one part of the state is in the mid 70s and sunny where as the portion of the state that i was in was snowing. i'm a california kid and i have no experince with snow, so i was locked in my room without a working cell phone, no email, i left my sirius boombox at home, so no stern and i was forced to watch horrible tv shows. i watched judge joe brown, judge judy, judge alex and tyra banks. and it even wasn't one of those wacky episodes where tyra talks about her fear of dolphins or she goes undercover to find out why men are obessessed with strip clubs. it was a legit topic and it was so boring. then the only movie channel is either showing christmas with the kranks or every movie ashton kutcher has been in. i'm struggling to find the positives of this state other than chelsea from gods girls(launching april 21st) and those early/mid 90s phoenix suns/chicago bulls championship game; dude, remember, tom chambers? and one night i had a weird dream where alan thickie with a mullet pretended to be david lynch (follow the clues) and you know that the state half of the year is on mountain/central time and its just not right for "24" to be on at 8o'clock at night.
well, it wasn't that bad. the hotel oddly had g4 and i watched "x-play", but i never knew when it was on cause of this mountain time business. what is the point of mountain/central time? is everything moved up an hour, so the farmers of america can catch all of their stories before they have to go to bed, so they can get up early the next morning and bring in the harvest? what is the point? why does prime time programming have to start at 7pm? who wants to watch "american idol" during the dinner hour? my whole body clock got off schedule with this mountain time business. i'm going to bed at midnight cause nothing is on, but really it's 11 o'clock and i'm waking up at 7, when it's really 6am, but i can't even sleep in a hotel room in the first place.
i should've known that things were going to be sketchy when on the way out of town, i heard wilmer valderrama on stern and i actually thought the guy was interesting and i'm very shocked and slightly apalled in saying this, but, he was pretty funny. but the really weird thing about leaving town is that as motoring along on i-40, is that you start to think about movies like the hills have eyes(fuck the remake) and the texas chainsaw massacre(once again, fuck the remake), the devil's rejects ( fuck the inevitable remake) and basically, as you're motoring along, this is how most of these movie start out. a road in the middle of nowhere and i saw some creep guy stranded on the side of the road, holding a sign up about how he needed some gas and the movies taught me not to help him out because more or less, the guy will attack me and lead me to his family of twisted freaks who'll attempt to eat me. then, i start to think about how long does it take for their netflix to reach them? (related; if you use netflix, hit me up and add as your netflix friend). i understand and apperciate their desire to live so far away from society and modern things, but at the same time, how can you live when the local hot spot is the a&w in the gas station off route 66? how does one go to the movies? is it like a monthly trip to the nearest big city and a couple hour drive to watch you know, a kate hudson film and that long drive home in silence because you just saw some kate hudson film. yeah, you can get sirius and crack up as you hear kay slay talk about how much he hates myspace, but you know what else is there to the simple life? you can't even get a sandwich from lee's or an #8 from albertacos and quite frankly, is life really worth living without those things?
also at the same time, you have to wonder if those people living out in the middle of nowhere are living in real life versions of juniper creek. i mean, whose really out there to stop them for doing that thing? there's barely any law enforcement out there to begin with to break it up
first, why is avril lavigne trying to bite the style of the ever so lovable kristen bell and two, since when was she in a phony relationship with bruce willis? is that derick wallabee from sum 41 not selling enough records to be with avril lavigne and quite frankly, i think bruce could do a little better here. yeah, getting dissed by petra nemcova for that james blunt dude probably stung more than getting stung by a hornet's nest, but you don't rebound with avril lavigne, bruce. everybody knows what you're supposed to do and that's find another model in the swimsuit issue and holler at them; it's like ordering off a shabu shabu menu. logic dictates that bruce willis should be dating yesica toscanini.
briana hicks heat; feel it or don't. what do i care? although, i have to say that briana hicks is deliciously ironic; did you see that episode of "8th & ocean" where her and another model did a karoke version of "baby got back"? funny on so many levels, but mostly because models don't have back.
now, i don't want to claim it this earlier into the new year, but "fishscale" is probably the best album i've heard this year. actually, it's the only album that i've listened to this year that i made all the way through and wanted to listen to again and again. for me, it's probably the best rap album since cam's "purple haze" because "fishscale" actually feels like an album where as most rap albums aren't really albums but a collection of songs. example, the new t.i.p. album; some great songs on there, but for the most part, there's 6 great songs on there and 13 so so ones. where as "fishscales," is consistent and great all the way through with exception to one song. the one clunker is that track with biggie & raewkon and it sucks cause of the production. puffy was probably the brains behind the beat, but when it's a story about a drug deal by three of the best rappers from new york, don't fucking use some lamey keyboard beat; get something a bit rougher than that. do a remix of rae's "state of grace" and put everybody's verse on that. another selling point on why you should check out this album, i took my sirius radio out of the car to listen to it. thats probably why i haven't listened to many albums this year because i could be listening to howard stern or the riley martin show instead of an album with a couple of good tunes and not much else.
there are just too many things to talk about, dudes.
i'm probably alone in this statement, but i haven't been to the movies in a while; mostly because i've been working like a fiend on this script for school, but another reason why i haven't been going to the movies is because i watch "24". why do we have to play 10 bucks to see some stuff blow up and deal with stupid people at the movies when i can lie down on my couch and shout out whatever i want at the tv without feeling like an idoit, which is a rarity for me and watch a show thats on par with a movie. honestly, whose going to watch a pg-13 kiefer sutherland movie where he's running around chasing after a potential terrorist or whatever when basically, every monday night, i can see the same thing with better writing and better acting; come on, eva longoria as a secret service agent? give me mary lynn rajskub and that new computer girl who thinks everything is somehow related to sexual harrassement. the one thing a movie has a tv show is the swears, but you know, fox should just bite the bullet one night and let jack bauer shout "fuck!"
next monday is supposed to be the big protest of this immigration bill. i'm going to claim ignorance exactly what this bill is about. how can the kids who are walking out of class to protest know what's going on when the media isn't presenting a clear conception of what exactly is going on with the thing. sure, i shouldn't trust the media and i should figure things out for myself, but you know, i'm lazy and right now, i can afford a personal asistant to figure these things out for me. so i want to say that i'm on the side of the people protesting and walking out and what not because they're a huge part of our economy. you know, it's like howard stern said, in order to get people to do these jobs, one has to increase the wages, which would in turn increase the price of said product; so you know, things like grapes end up costing like 15 bucks. it's a slipper slope situation and quite frankly, i actually have no clue what i'm talking about. you know, i just assume that if i'm supportive of the workers, that'll impress some politically motivied hispanic girl. i'll walk out with everybody, but i think i'll be seen through quite quickly.
do you think that there would be as many criminals if braces were more afforable? or is the toothless nature of criminials from the use of meth and various drugs?
also, i think i have retire the expression, 'quite frankly,' that's getting as played out as talking shit on the new season of "the soporanos".
anybody going to the pretty girls make graves free show at amoeba next tuesday? yeah, i might go, but i don't know. it'll be weird cause pgmg has weird fans and its an in store and i'm bopping my head while i'm probably holding a copy of "i'm alan partridge".
and finally, ucla fans, you'll be in luck, i'll be in class during the big game tonight and i won't be able to watch it. and this should be of importance to you because i watched part of the gonzaga game, but i got so bored during it, that i watched "deadwood" and ucla had that amazing comeback. now, i've jinxed it, but, i had the best of intentions. i wonder if ucla wins, if there'll be a boom of ucla sweatshirts on my campus, which may be followed by a program at the student store where one could trade in their ucla hoodie for our school's hoodie. they did it with usc stuff in the fall.