windbag wednesday aka beating hearts baby
no caption required cause bill murray holding up a sketch of andy garica is funny all on its own. although, it should be asked does or has anyone actually purchased one of those artist sketchings of like pacino as tony montana? at this one movie theater i go to sometimes, there used to be a guy who sold sketches and paintings of tony montana and jennifer aniston, but it seemed as if he never ever moved any product. is there a great demand for charcol drawings of tony soprano? perhaps at the swap meet.
hey did you hear tom cruise & katie holmes had a kid the other day? i bet you they're eating cold placenta sandmiches like its thanksgiving left overs. with a nice little birth cord smoothie as a chaser. and you just know that some wacky chief is being shopped around from talk show to talk show to celebrity news show to celebrity news show wishing to talk about the many ways tom cruise could've eaten katie holmes' after birth.
it also should be noted that the baby poped out right in time for spring break, too. is it me or has like the wee ones been on spring break for the last couple of weeks? you cruise by some hardwear store and a handy man is walking out with his daughter and he's rolling his eyes cause she's going off on some story about how alison deleted her myspace profile cause her mom freaked out, but like 30 minutes later, she had a new account and it was private and how she didn't send her an add yet. i admire the take your daughter to work aspect of the situation, but at the same time, it's gonna be a pain in the neck for the handy man.
another good thing about it being spring time, is that's okay to wear shorts. and from what i've seen so far of the shorts, therer should be outta hand shorty shorts action going down at whoachella '06. so hopefully it'll make you, if you're a dude or just a fan of shorty shorts in general, feel that your money has been well spent instead of dropping all that money to drive out to the desert just to check out wolf parade, phoenix, and gnarls barkley. i'm not talking about american apparel shorty shorts, i'm talking designer, expensive shit, shorty shorts.
speaking of gnarls barkley, who also has "crazy" as their new ringtone?
further quasi related, i'm not sure where to stand on the matter of leggings or tights or whatever 80s flashback thing thats going on as of late. i'm on the fence about the matter cause here's the situation, i have yet to see anybody successfully pull this off in person, but i've sorta seen it in photos, mostly american apparel ads, but that's neither here nor there. yet at the same time, isn't the death knell of a fad when debbie debbie matenopoulos starts talking about on the daily 10.
the next miss usa is too busy to do that swimsuit competition this year. she's gotta save the planet in a rousing game of air hockey against the martians. seriously, what has happened to the beauty pagents these days? the days everybody crowded around the tv, rooted for miss california and all the girls had gigantic hair. now adays, they have to do personal apperances at theme bars in new york city. and further evidence that nobody cares about beauty pagents; whether its miss usa or miss america, was back in high school, we had miss america, i don't remember her name, came and spoke. like nobody went to see her speak. you know like a driver's ed class, a health class and like maybe a cermaics class went. nobody else cared about it.
the av club interviews san clemente's prodigal son, rian johnson, the director of one of the year's better films (the best film of the year, so far is bubble), brick. although, johnson answers the most important question: "is he a fan of 'veronica mars'?" here
cam'ron really sucks at adding new friends on myspace. i sent him an add like two weeks ago and still no reply yet. i know that mostly interns from either the artist's management firm or record label handle the profile, but you know, they could be on more on the ball about the situation.
lindsay lohan's impression of lucille bluth is way better than my impressions of various performances from the michael mann film collateral. i'm mildly offended by the use of rilo kiley's rather excellent tune "portions for foxes" in the ads for just my luck even if bree turner and samaire armstrong are in it. you see i wanted to write a script called "portions for foxes," but now that's fucking out the window. thanks a pantsful.
i have to say, i have to say that last night's "blow out," was probably the best one of the new season so far. you know, fast forward the first twenty minutes and get to the real meat of it when the old, classic jonathan antin returns. granted, the first half of the show continued to play out like a super long commercial for sprint and then there was that whole bit about 'professional' scott, which is no fun cause everybody likes their scott to be falling over drunk, unable to give directions and with hair. and you know there was that moment witht their weirdo zorbitz guy and that could've been way better. you know the guy with the plucked eye borrows could've been like, "i was just fucking around dude with that whole box of rocks business." you know that he did the whole bowl of rocks to get his revenge, but it still sorta flat and lame.
but the most important part of that whole episode is when jonathan does that photoshoot for bacardi, its amazing. he's yelling at people, picking fights and perhaps in the greatest fuck you moment to corporate america, every two minutes, he's mispronucing the product name. jonathan must've watched sweet movie(slightly nsfw) or dusted off his crass records cause the rebelious spirit got in him and it got him good. the show needed to have this fight against establishment while trying to do finger curls and faux hawks. one simply can't fight the man with words and protesting; sometimes, it takes a man, his assitant, a pair of scissors and a bag full of hair care product baring the man in question's name on it to rattle a few cages.
as i'm watching last night's "8th & ocean," a pretty decent episode. you know, too much teddy; not enough brianna and her extensions. but anyways, as i'm watching the episode and there's the hot tub scene and i noticed the two dudes in the back with giant skate shoes on wearing basketball shorts. and i'm wondering are these guys just hanging around, hoping to see some model skin or something along those lines? i remember one night me and robin brown drove around to various apartment complex hot tubs and i'd pop out of the car, take a picture, an attempt to bust somebody's shit, run away and see what happens when i developed the roll; we only busted one guy and i felt bad cause the guy seemed stressed out, but you know, if you're going to do pepping tom behavior like those guys in the photo, at least be more sleath about it; don't wear all yellow. i know that miami is a gaddy town, but you know, it's not that gaddy. and another problem with the episode is this, am i supposed to feel bad or sympatheic for teddy cause heide is on everybody but his jock? are we suppose to make that emotional connection with the character? cause i'm not buying that; i need a couple of co signers for me to have those particular emotions. oh man, teddy just got played and he really seemed to be into the girl. there's no way to feel sorry for the dude when right across from him at the fucking dinner table is britt, whose totally in love with the guy. and the episode lacked that magic, that sean magic. adrian proved that models are only skin deep people when he said the line about the girl being a monet. also there were two extremely distrubing moments on the show; like it was out of the movie silent hill or something. one, in the beginning, there was a shot of kelly, i believe and her face looked liked pizza the hut (i know what a douce to knock a person for being superficial, to only make a superficial comment a sentence or two later). then there was that shot of irene marie laughing. well just anything in general involving irene marie scares me. she's like blue iris(nsfw) combined with felicity huffman in transamerica but really into wrapping jackets around her waist.