Begin to Hope
Apparently, Adam Brody is Alain Delon to Rachel B’s Monica Vitti as they pretend to be in an Antonioni film.
I have to this ask, what exactly is about baseball day games that compel men to become shirtless masters and shelve less wonders? Clearly, the heat makes a strong impact on matters such as these and not having seats in the shade, but exactly how much of an enabler is beer in these situations? Is it a forced feeling of having to be drunk because for the cost of two ballpark beers, one could’ve bought at least a 12 pack of beer? You know, ‘for the amount of money, I’m paying, I better get good and fucked up.’ I was drinking beers at Taco Loco one night, this was a couple of years ago and some metal kids were my D.D.s and the guy behind the counter told me after I was drinking beer after beer that I would’ve been better off buying a sixer and having fun somewhere else. Yet I think the realization that I had spent so much in order to drink that it made me become drunker quicker to rationalize the amount of money I just had spent. So, I’m just wondering if there’s this placebo type affect on drunk guys at home day games that they need to feel drunk sooner because by the end of the fifth inning, they’re 25 bucks in the red on beer alone.
And I know that baseball in its self isn’t the most exciting sport to watch in person, but I still can’t understand the desire and need to hit a beach ball around. Children, I understand and quite frankly, they should go nuts over it, but why are adults freaking out over a beach ball and booing people who whiff? Can’t these very same people go to their local 99 cent store and buy a grip of beach balls for five bucks and go nuts at the beach? I’m very anti the beach ball at the game because I have ADD and it’s rather difficult for me and my problem to pay attention to any potential foul ball coming my way as well as maintaining an eye on any potential beach ball heading towards me, let alone, any interesting characters that may be around me that I need to ease drop upon. It’s one less sensory thing I want to deal with and honestly, if your kid gets bored enough at a ball game that you need to break out a beach ball, then the child isn’t old enough to attend sporting events yet. These drunks of parents shouldn’t infringe on my good times. It’s bad enough I have to be distracted by the ‘Kate Bosworth’ style of looks that members of the Angels Strike Force currently has; not good Kate Bosworth, if such a thing exists, but you know, bad Kate Bosworth who looks like Ziggy Stardust.
Then again, beach balls at ball games will never go away. Remember how there was a glimmer of hope in peoples’ eyes that the wave was going to go away, but the wave much like the Grimace, will never die. And it’s holding baseball back. That and Barry Bonds.
One last thing, about these day games, I know that it’s hot and all. Al Gore, on behalf of the Sierra Club calls all the time and tells me that it’s getting hotter and hotter, but why are there people who go to ball games, not to really watch the game its self, but to more or less, go around spraying water onto other people? You know how sometimes at parties, there’ll be a guy who’ll take on the task of being the security guard and fun police, making sure people are having a good time and the drunks have a ride home? I think those people are the same people who go around and spray people down with water, but it’s even weirder because they bring special misters and sprayers to the game just to cool people down. Getting friends and people seated near you wet by splashing a bottle of water is always fun unless somebody has a Louis purse or at least they want to believe it’s a Louis purse even though it’s an L.A. Fashion District special and it gets wet, then it’s an “Oh Girl,” moment. I can’t understand nor do I want to believe that people are that nice to get other people dealing with the intolerable, yet easily solvable (I can be nice too, Al) heat wet and help them cool off. I need a nice thing a couple of weeks ago and I’ll tell people about it for the next six months, but you know, cooling people off at ball games has to be some sorta sick fetish or just really eager to get a wet t-shirt contest going. But you know, a wet t-shirt contest on family Sunday just isn’t going to fly.
The thing about Justin Timberlake talking about how he’s done so many drugs and what not just reeks of desperation. Well, how else is it going to read and I know that I’m not reinventing the wheel or being as profound as the first time you heard Interpol, but you know, it’s just sad. Wow, Justin Timberlake has a new sexy single which really means a new shitty single and he’s edgy which further translate into he doesn’t want to perform to an arena full of high school girls. If the dude wants to break ties with the old audience, then make a snuff film or something cool like that. Doing interviews where you talk about how you do so many drugs in your house isn’t cool. Go on like Celebrity Fit Club high on painkillers with Jeff Conaway and Daniel Baldwin and three of them take a whiz all over Ant and the contestants, then set fire to the set, that’s way cooler than making an electro-clash record in 2006. Timberlake should be seen partying with Kevin Federline and running trains on the cast of “America’s Next Top Model,” and not having photos of his mom and Cameron Diaz shopping together in Paris. If one wants to rattle cages, then fucking do it.
People still worship Izzy Stradlin to this day because he wrote such a great song about being heroin that people still believe he is on heroin to this day despite being sober for many years. Think about it.
Okay, even though I said that the lost episode of “Chappelle’s Show” should remain lost forever and ever. I still went back to it simply because shitty Chappelle bits are way better than most of the crap on TV. The stereotypes bit was fun, but I’m not sure how fresh jokes about Howard Dean would’ve even been back in spring of 2005.
The best album of the year in spite of what Pitchfork may say is coming out in America on September 12th. I’m just asking why is TV On the Radio making us in the states wait so long when we all know its out in the UK and a majority of us already downloaded it. Just release it now and everything will be cool like a guy who ran into your car back in high school.
Nikki Reed, but not this Nikki Reed has a certain power over men. A friend of mine, well, allow me to rephrase that, a person whom I had a couple of classes with at school and outside, we rarely talk, calls me out of the blue the other day to ask me if I wanted to see Mini’s First Time simply based on the ad in the newspaper which featured a similar image of Nikki Reed as seen above. He had no clue what the movie was about, but he knew he wanted to see it. I agreed, but passed on seeing it at the present time because well, who the fuck wants to drive out Pasadena or face the wrath of the ArcLight seating system. Yes, I would like to see this film, but you know, it’s not a Sofia Coppola or Argento film and I’d drive to the ends of the earth to see their stuff; that’s neither here nor there. What I’m getting at is this, Nikki Reed in a bikini (it’s cool, she’s 18) has a certain advertising, marketing power that very few women have today. Maybe, if the film industry went back to the days of having cartoon drawings of girls in low cut tops and car chases, people would go to the movies, but you know, seeing Jessica Alba or any other actress with the name of Jessica wearing a bikini on the movie poster might put more asses in the shit or at least frequently check sites like Don’t Link This for the vidcaps. Then again, for my money, I’d still probably not go to a movie, but if it was Nikki Reed in that Dukes of Hazard thing and she was in a bikini on the poster, I would’ve probably watched it because you know, wishful thinking. At this point, I wish I was a successful rapper because I’d do the traditional gangsta rap pool party video and Nikki Reed would be my main girl.
While on the topic of rap videos, if they do or should I say when they do a video for the “Chevy Ridin’ High,” remix, I should direct it or at least the record label should check out my treatment. The original video blows and Jessy Terrero has been making the same video for the last 4 years.
Anybody else already sick of the Beyonce media push? And the worst part is it’s going to get even worse before it gets better. The only way to avoid is to pull a Uni Bomber like move and live in the woods without a computer and TV (can’t give up the BTLS) for a couple of months and just hope it’ll all go away soon enough, but even then, I probably won’t be able to escape it. There are just certain things in life that you can’t escape. You know that stupid song by The Fray? I’ve never heard the full song, but bits and pieces here and there on VH-1 and other TV shows and I wake up the other day with that song in my head. Just out of nowhere, it’s in there and I tried my best to get it out of my head; but you know, I have no real contact with mainstream music, yet somehow that song worked its way into my head and I had it stuck there. And that’s what I assume will happen with the new Beyonce stuff. I don’t want to hear it, but I don’t think being a normal member of society will allow me to. I’ll just stumble into listening to it one night and like a week later, I’ll wake up in a sweat with it in my head. There are just things that have to be done to be a part of the culture.
With that said, I went against my word and saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest; mostly because my girl wanted to see it, but never the less I saw it. Without a doubt, Gore Verbinski is a skilled director; I don’t know about how many set ups he gets done in a day, but his films are always visually interesting and for most people, are compelling and entertaining films. For the film snob such as myself who believes if it’s not Bunuel, then it’s crap, I’m only going to like bits and pieces of the film. There are moments in the film, which are entertaining, specifically the shot from the point of view of the windmill spinning on the ground and some other stuff, but the cool, interesting stuff is rather few and far between. Although, it should be noted that I wasn’t a big fan of the first Pirates film. It was okay, but it was a tad long for my taste. So I believe I missed a lot of what was going on in the Dead Man’s Chest because I don’t have that strong of knowledge of the first film, but I’ll never forget a quote Malcolm McDowell said at a screening I went back in 2003 about the first film: “I had never seen so many drugs on a set before,” and this was coming from the dude who starred in Caligula.
Dead Man’s Chest isn’t a drugged out mess of a film. It’s just a film meant to leave the audience wanting more the same way Empire Strikes Back left the audiences wanting more back in the day, but the problem with Dead Man’s Chest is that there’s no emotional pay off or punch. There’s no Han getting frozen in carbonate, there’s no Luke getting his hand cutting off, and there’s no well, you know, which left audiences hanging on their seats forever and ever. It’s not even really a movie, it’s basically a dragged out first act and half of a second act.
My mind started to wander around during the film and I started to think about what would be more interesting. I started to think about what if Alejandro Jodorowsky had directed the film instead and how crazy and brilliant to me and maybe like a 1000 other people would be. Then I thought what if pirates got the “Deadwood” treatment from like a David Milch type and how more interesting it would be for pirates to really be pirates for once. Then, I thought about the character of Captain Jack Sparrow and how I remembered him from the first film; I thought Captain Jack was a character similar to Jack Burton in John Carpenter’s Big Trouble In Little China; an bumbling idiot who happens to be heroic by accident, but for the most part, he’s the one whose always in trouble and the sidekick has to be the one to save him. In this film, Captain Jack is too heroic.