Love Was The Egg
I’m just wondering out loud here, but what kind of reaction happens when one sees Jessica Alba cruising around their local beach in a bikini? Given it has become a sight that we’re all too familiar with and quite frankly, losing its impact just a smidge (too much of a good thing, even if it’s Jessica Alba in a bikini), but still, seeing some body like a Jessica Alba on the local beach has to have some impact? Or is it a whatevs moment on par with seeing another regular, plain old boring hot girl on the beach? Like in Maliboobs, I don’t believe Jessica Alba walking around would be such a big deal, but you know, if she was in San Clemente, cars may smash into each other and dudes will follow her around. I’m under the impression that guys if they were to see Jessica Alba near or on their local beach, would just follow her around. It’s just in our nature; to follow nice breasted women at the beach. I remember going on a field trip in community college and there was this girl in the class who was cute and nice, but she always wore like a baggy sweatshirt to class. The girl hung around with two girls with great bodies and equally nice personalities (hope you understand I’m getting at with that one). Getting to the point, this field trip was to the tide pools and this girl who wore baggy sweatshirts all semester finally took of her sweatshirt and she had the biggest natural rack I’ve ever seen in my own life and for the rest of the field trip, me and about 10 other guys just hung around her and looked at whatever stuff she looked at it. It was pretty awkward and uncomfortable and I want to believe that the rack surprised the professor as well.
Who is Ben Lyons and why does he get to be the movie critic for “The Daily 10”? I get that the concept of “The Daily 10” is to be you know the “Best Day Ever” and an extension of the office break room conversation and yadda yaddda yadda. Lyons is supposed to be like the dude in the office who watches every movie and basically loves everything and will call John Tucker Must Die the best teen revenge film since Heather and most likely he’ll even say it’s better than Heathers. Clearly, this is the reason why we need to stop Ben Lyons and suggest that the Daily 10 get another movie geek guy. No self respecting movie geek, expert is going to consider A Prairie Home Companion a major accomplishment in the career of Robert Altman. His smug and arrogance clearly is derived from the Nick Zano school of television hosting, but Ben Lyons must’ve missed the day where Zano talked about being evil cause Lyons lack that certain degree of evil; he’s just a henchman of arrogance. If Ben Lyons and Nick Zano were in a room together, Lyons would be the Tim McCarver of the two. I just believe that the Daily 10 could do better for the resident movie guy and maybe Kim Vo should be the new movie guy since he’s such a hit with the hair advice.
In the comments from the other day, Uncle Grambo brought up an interesting point about Grind House and it’s releasing patterns. What studio is going to release one four film and make a little bit of money where as they could release two films and make the same amount of money two times over? Tarantino and Rodriguez specifically quote Bob Weinstein a few times during the panel saying that people are going to few ripped off when it comes to other films after this film, but does anybody actually believe that they’ll release a double feature? I have faith that Rodriguez will finish his film in time because the dude does about 40 set ups a daily, but Tarantino, I’m not so sure. Granted that there was rather quick turn with Jackie Brown back in 1997 (shot the thing in the summer of ’97 and released on Christmas day of ’97), but you know, the older Tarantino might take a bit longer to get the thing finished. Tarantino doesn’t move at a Kubrick or Fincher type speed, but never the less, I don’t believe either one of those guys wants to delay the release of the film again.
But the interesting thing to ponder is this, while there remains a good chance that the Weinsteins will release it as a double feature to the theaters, but you know, once the film canisters are at the theaters, it’s a whole different ball game. Think about it, a theater manager could end up breaking up the prints and just showing the films separately. The theaters will make more money because of the increased number of showings. Unless the film is digital projected, what’s to stop the theaters from showing the film individually? They’re barely going to break even on this idea, but it has to be said: Movie Road show. Honestly, Grind House is going to be the Doctor Zhivago of exploitation films. Why not do limited engagements at particular theaters and just slowly bring the film across the country creating a communal movie experience or at least, open it in New York, L.A, Austin, etc. and just bring those particular prints all across the country, so they get even more beat up than they’re being made to look. Play at theaters like the New Beverly Cinema in LA instead of the Arclight. Places with shitty sound and uncomfortable seats. Although, one of those Arclight 21+ screenings of Grind House might be a lot of fun.
I believe I’ve heard a majority of the new DJ Shadow album. While the album has its moments, it’s a bit of a snoozer. I can honestly pin point not necessarily the day, but the era when I first heard DJ Shadow. It was the summer of ’98 when I spent most of my summer nights listening to Metropolis on KCRW because I had just discovered KCRW a few months earlier. You know after a few years of seeing their annoying commercials before movies at the Laemmle Sunset 5, I finally gave a listen and basically, I heard stuff from the UNKLE album all the time and it was unlike anything I had heard at the time; “Guns Blazing,” blew my mind then and still blows my mind today. I didn’t know music, let alone rap music could be that good. I just thought Jason Bentley played dance music and tried really hard to sound mysterious and brooding over Junior Sanchez instrumentals. So during that summer, I became obsessed with getting that UNKLE record and waiting until basically the start of school to get it and when I got, it changed a majority of musical habits because I was forced into figuring more out about this DJ Shadow character, which lead me to discover, probably my favorite album of all time, “Endtroducing…”. I learned a lot from that album, which is weird to say as a writer, but somehow, I learned about structure from those songs and what exactly it means to be ‘cinematic’. Of course, through listening to Shadow, my musical horizons opened up greatly as I started to listen to more hip hop and just being open to anything really.
Which is why I’m rather disappointed by “The Outsider,” because it’s Shadow exploring more musically. It’s just not interesting and feels more as if Shadow was trying to sound more like other people. When RJD2’s first album came out, everybody compared him to Shadow, but the only comparison is that they use a lot of samples in their music and then by RJD2’s second album, the comparisons ended because RJ made a record where he sang a couple of songs. “The Outsider,” feels less about Shadow making interesting music and trying to be more like RJD2 and cash in on trend. Either there’s somebody rapping or singing on each track, which is fine and all if it was a Scott Herren album, but when it’s a Shadow album, people are looking for that 5 to 9 minute long instrumental of drums on top of drums on top of drums. I’m not interested in hearing some dudes rap about turf dancing, I could give a shit. They’re in the way of the fucking beat. Shadow in a way is like the Stevie Ray Vaughn of hip hop because we could care less about what’s being said, we just want to hear that solo. Granted the song, “Seein’ Things,” with David Banner is good, but overall, nothing stands out. It’s just weird to think that Shadow isn’t mashing on a drum machine for this record. Oh well, I think Diplo might do another instrumental record.
Why does Courtney Love and the rest of the guys in Nirvana let people basically butcher the songs week after week on “Rock Star: Supernova”? Can’t Krist Novoselic pull Courtney Love aside and quote G.W. Bush, “Gotta stop doing this shit,” or is this part of Love selling pieces of Nirvana empire away to some dude? Cause they’re ruining these great songs week after week and I’m not necessarily sure if some girl dressed like she’s the Feral Kid from The Road Warrior’s mom doing an acoustic version of “Lithium” in order to impress Tommy Lee and win a game show is keeping within the spirit of the Nirvana legacy. Of course, we always ask these questions if such and such musician was still alive today, would be they still be relevant and cool? We’ll never know, but we have to keep whatever legacy they had at the end of their career alive and you know, it just doesn’t seem that Kurt Cobain would be there on the couch telling some guy how awesome his cover of the Wallflowers was.