California Boober Alles
I don’t know how, but MTV or at least the editors of “Laguna Beach,” has managed to make something that should be interesting so boring. Then again, I had the same exact feelings after watching the first episode of the first season of “Laguna Beach.” Nothing happened except for a couple of thoughts that Tessa should either get a haircut or at least get that lion’s mane of hers thinned out. Usually, I’m a fan of stuff where people just talk and nothing happens, but with this batch of “Laguna” kids, it’s not working. As weird as it seems, these kids grew up with the fact that a TV show about teens was shoot in their backyards and playgrounds and they’re just playing up to the camera. I’m upset because fake people on a fake reality TV show for being too fake. Well, I take that back, the girls from season 2 who didn’t get famous were real and honest as they did their best to be the Orange County version of Carrie & Co. as they talked shit on everybody. That was cool and interesting. You know, Jessica, whose managed to be apart of all three seasons of the show and word has it that she’s been hanging around the local junior high, giving rides to the potential himbos for seasons 6 and 7 because she has to be on all of the seasons. But I’m getting away from the point, which is this, with the first two seasons, for being highly scripted, there was still a smidge of realism to the show where as with this season, all of these ‘real’ people know that they’re playing a particular character or stereotype, so they’re trying really hard to fill that position, even if it means, frequently quoting lines from Mean Girls. Everything and everybody has potential, but I’m not exactly sure how much there is with this season. Yeah, these girls, specifically Kyndra (with a ‘Y’) and Cami (who was built to be in a Russ Myer style send up of the aforementioned Mean Girls) will do some slutty, funny stuff, but what it seems like this season is going to be one big battle of morals. There are the sluts and there are the good girls and it’s going to boring after a while. Because such and such slut girl hooked up with that steroid, Ed Begley JR. lookin’ motherfucker, then one of the goody two shoes hooks up with that same dude.
Also, it just as if that these girls within the last couple of months discovered the word, ‘alienation’ and it’s various related words and drop it as freely as they do a Mean Girls quote. It reminded me of the first time I first discovered the word, “Anarchy,” in particular in the punk rock context and when I was in the seventh grade, I told everybody that there needs to be anarchy at our school and I’d tell teachers that anarchy would be great and sometimes, I would say, “Anarchy burger! Hold the government, please!”. Yet I didn’t know what the word meant, but I thought it sounded cool and interesting. So I’m just wondering if the English teacher to these girls of Laguna Beach just randomly dropped the word a lot during lectures not only to make an impression about how these MTV camera crews are alienating the local, die hard residents of Laguna Beach or did the teacher just think it’d be funny to hear some girls drop ‘alienation’ around while the All American Rejects plays in the background?
Another thing, how much money is that one dude getting paid to put over RVCA?
Anybody else geeking out while reading El-P’s blog? TV On the Radio’s Tunde Adebimpe potentially singing on some El-P's stuff ? Dude, that album can’t come out any sooner. I mean, it’s been 4 years since “Fantastic Damage” and even longer 5 years since “The Cold Vein,” so the ears are a bit hungry for Blade Runner references intermixed with political commentary. And Clive Owen should be on the album cover.
This weekend, I’ll probably end up at a multiplex and I’ll most likely watch Snakes on a Plane. Here’s the problem with New Line’s plan of not setting up any advance screenings for the film. Sure, there’s been a insane amount of buzz and hype for the film developing for at least 4 months now, but where’s the buzz from people who have seen it? If it’s a supposed to be some glorious, big budgeted modern day B-Picture, then why not screen it for internet geeks or journalists who cover that specific genre. Sure, the title has won me partially over, but what are the fucking drive in totals? I need a review from Joe Bob Briggs to convince me to take the plunge. Just because that annoying guy from FallOut Boy gives the thumbs up to the film isn’t going to bring me to the theater. If anything, that makes me want to avoid the movies even more all together; I just assume that it’d be a better cinematic investment if I hung around the theater that would be showing Half Nelson in a couple of weeks, than wasting my time on a movie that Pete Wentz calls ‘awesome’. You know where are the quotes from the greats or something. New Line should’ve paid like Werner Herzog a boat load of money and shot a bunch of commercials with him talking directly to the camera and verbally assaulting the audience; implying that men aren’t masculine if they don’t watch Snakes on a Plane. Instead they got some dance tune as the theme song to the movie. Come on, for a film that calls its self, Snakes on a Plane at least the soundtrack would be metal or something; late 80s Wes Craven movie status or something, but instead the soundtrack is a bunch of shitty bands being remixed by other shitty bands with exception to Tommie Sunshine cause the dude co wrote “Rocket Ride,” but never the less. You know, Snakes on a Plane should be seem a tougher than it appears to be. If snakes on a plane is an ultimate grueling terror, then I want to hear, “Raining Blood” by Slayer or at least something super heavy.
How come nobody sent me the memo about Cold War Kids being so good? In wake of the recent ‘only okay’ album by the Walkmen, I was surprised more people didn’t say, listen to these guys, they’re good and have that similar sound. Then again, if I read more music blogs, I’d probably know. I did however get the memo about the Drunken Stepfather’s Lindsay Lohan photos, but Spencer Sloan has better Lindsay Lohan photos. So, I’m not that out of the loop, but you know, cooler people than me, next time, there’s a band like Cold War Kids out there and I’m not talking about them or not talking about how I can’t get past one particular song because it’s too good, send me a note. MySpace or e-mail, which is easiest. I need to break from hip hop every now and then as well as the commercial pop singles.
Caroline D’Amore when she’s doing her best DJ Premier impression (Deep Concentration) has a bit of a Winnie Cooper vibe. I don’t know if I’d be her Kevin Arnold, but if she was to play “Freaky Tales” by Too $hort or even, “Five Man Army” by Massive Attack, then things may change. But she just probably played her friend’s music instead and this Kevin Arnold isn’t into tranny pop.
Speaking of tranny pop, The Passion of the Weiss reviews the new Paris Hilton album.
Since Owen Wilson & Kate Hudson are allegedly hooking up according to the Pulitzer prize winning journalists over at US Weekly says so, but you know, I’m wondering if Owen Wilson is going to bug Wes Anderson about putting Kate Hudson in the new movie? If that happens, I will be heading down to Amoeba immediately and selling all of my Wes Anderson DVDs or at least holding off until I see the trailer, but I might just sell my copy of The Life Aquatic
Two questions, but they’re actually the same question, just different names:
-Why does Joe Scarborough have his own TV show? For the past two weeks, he’s had a segment every other day about how Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is offensive to a new group of people. At first, it was Christians, then it was southerners, then it was Christian southerners, then it was white men, and now it’s women. And each time, he has nobody on with the exception of one time that finds the film offensive or degrading. Wouldn’t it be the first thing you get when you’re a news show and talk about a subject; find all sides of the issues instead of two people who’ll just say, “Yeah, Joe. It’s just a movie.” Scarborough has that Cindy Brady quality to him; you know that episode where Cindy just stared at the camera when the red light came on?
-Why does Chelsea Handler have her own show? I guess to some people she’s funny (you know what the fuck do I know? I think Mark the Bagger is one of the funniest people on this planet), but it just seems like the exact opposite of Carlos Mencia because she’s not yelling at the time and not consistently saying, “beaners,” but you know, it’s a constant inside voice talking about being drunk or sleeping around. Well, take that back, I watched it for like five minutes once and I see the promos every now and then and I just don’t get it.
And finally, I must mention the fact that Zayra finally got kicked off “Rockstar: Supernova,” which means one thing, nobody gives a shit about the show anymore. It was cool that she sung in Spanish the other day and she rattled a few cages with her performances, but nobody else on that show has that dynamic, interesting, gotta tune to see what they’re going to do next. It’s just a bunch of really short people with too much make up on who use their mouth as ash trays. And voting on that show doesn’t really work at all because it’s the band who decides who stays and who goes. It’s a bunch of bullshit.