&t skeet on mischa: Fluff A Nutter

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Aug 10, 2006

Fluff A Nutter

Honestly, it has to feel really weird when you’re at a press conference, talking to the press about how cool a particular product is and there’s a life size photo of ones self staring right at the back of your head. Not to mention to the ‘Scooby Doo’ vibe that has to be present, believing that one’s own eyes are following you whenever you go. It still should be noted that Mischa B has that awesome Jackie B vibe. It’s too good to waste it on press conferences and potential guest spots on “Desperate Housewives”. Why hasn’t anybody put her in a movie where she wears cool, designer clothes and talks about post modernism?

Cory Kennedy is a true troubadour and trail blazer because every club owner in LA now a days is making sure their club is full of the new ‘it’ accessory, underage girls. They’re cooler than most people because they’ve been listening to Devendra Banhart since the sixth grade, but that’s only because they’re in the 9th grade. Also, there’s a bit of danger, beyond the obvious legal stuff, but they’ll be the first ones to quote a classic Aaliyah/R Kelly slow jam, “Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number.” What’s dangerous about these girls is the stare; it’s the most judgmental, powerful, nerve-rattling stare in the history of the world. It’s the exact opposite of a care bear stare that helps me out, this stare will reduce people to quivering puddles of sadness and frustration because one wore a pair of shorts to the party. Not to mention, they’ll make you feel terrible and uncool because you didn’t have your moms pick up from the club at the end of the night.

X17 Online, I love you guys and all, but I’m not sure how they can consider this the world premiere photos of Suri Cruise Holmes. It’s a blurry piece of white diapers that my man Keith Olbermann will have a field day with.

Watch out Catt & Sal, Yahoo’s got your number with The 9. Although, E! should trade Debbie for the 9’s blonde because she’s not as annoying and doesn’t throw around the funny voices, jokes card to easily.

Besides being a total asshole, hasn’t anybody else notice that Ann Coulter owns only one black dress and that she’s anorexic? Coulter is worse than Nicole Richie and Kate Bosworth combined. Clearly, this woman has a problem with food, but let’s not help her out. She can just waste away and I think it’ll be okay. It’s no great loss.

The trailer for The Grudge 2 has to be the worst trailer in the history of movies. It’s two minutes of people making ‘o’ faces and the Final Cut Pro strobe effect thingy. Come on, people, how is this supposed to be scary? Let alone be entertaining. As I watched this trailer the other night at the movies, I felt like walking out and going home because this trailer put such a bad taste in my mouth that no movie could take out. I may have to quit going to the movies all over again in the next two months, so I can avoid this abortion of a trailer. The chances of never nude tease Kari Sweets going nude is better than this film being 'just okay,' but it'll most likely win the award for scariest movie of the year from the Union of Movie Theater Security Guards


At 3:31 PM , Blogger Najork said...

I haven't seen the Grudge 2 trailer, but I remember thinking how terrible the Grudge 1 trailer with SMG was. I remember sitting in a Loew's in Cambridge, and SMG gets a horrified look on her face and realizes there's a hand coming out of her head. I blurted out the word "bogus" really, really loud.

But that was really a complaint about the movie looking bad, not the trailer looking bad. Back when I was younger I wanted to make movies, but I did the computer thing instead. Now I think my second career should be making trailers, because that industry is in a terrible place right now. Have you seen the one for The Wicker Man? There needs to be at least a six-month moratorium on
a) ending a trailer with a strobe sequence.
b) a little kid's voice saying something like "mommy" over a black background. i'm sure people think this sounds good on paper, but the technique just doesn't work.
c) the monster's gaping mouth rushing towards the camera after showing the title card. this has been going on for a decade and we just need to chill for a bit. it's like when they closed george's bank to try to bring back the cod population.

There were only a few decent trailers I can think of having seen this summer. The Devil Wears Prada had possibly the best one I saw, consisting almost entirely of an abridged version of the scene where Meryl Streep shows up for the first time. The first Borat trailer was funny (haven't seen the second). "Children of Man" would have been perfect if they had just stopped the trailer when they revealed that the girl is pregnant; after that is a waste. (Nonetheless, I'm not going to miss the Cuaron + Clive Owen connection.)

At 4:02 PM , Blogger Douglas Reinhardt said...

Cuaron & Owen may be this year's cinematic saviors.

I actually liked the trailer for Wicker Man; the strobe stuff is dumb, but the quick cuts make me want to believe the movie will have a slight psychedelic leaning to it.

The problem still remains that the trailers have to give away all the cool moments, so we'll see it. They can switch it up and go back to the old days. The trailer for this old Peckinpah movie said that 25 people die in the movie and pretty much notning else. And that's all you really need to know.

At 5:38 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

bring me the head of alfredo garcia. right?

At 7:26 PM , Blogger Douglas Reinhardt said...



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