If anything has been lacking in these parts over the last few months, it’s been a sense of angry and frustration. Sure, there’s the Tuesday morning bitch session about why I am still watching “Heroes” week after week, but that argument is built entirely on my stupidity. I’m the sucker who continues to watch the show week after week because I’m hooked in the storyline and yet the horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible acting and piss poor visuals haven’t stopped me yet. And I mean, the writing its self isn’t even that good to begin with. I guess, if anything, I’m just attracted to the show’s sense of structure and foreshadowing. Getting to the point, if there’s one, I believe that I’m actually mad at something for the first time in a while.
Sure, there have been moments at school the past couple of weeks that have made me upset, but that’s neither here nor there. What I don’t understand and will probably never understand is who thought the show, “Twentyfourseven” would be a good idea? I wouldn’t even want my bitter fiends, foes and enemies to watch a show like this. I was going to suggest that the US government should use this show as a form of torture for prisoners, but I believe that they’re getting together to create a four protocol for the Geneva Convention to prevent any future abuse. It’s bad and awful and frustrating and grating, but the more important question is how did these guys get their own show? I admire their conviction and ability to hustle, if you will, but at the same time, I’m still grasping to understand why they are on TV. The one guy dates Haylie Duff, so he gets to have his own reality show? That does not make any sense nor is it fair. Well, then again, it actually does make sense because in Hollywood, it’s all about whom you know and apparently, even in the biblical sense of the term. We’ve started to sink lower and lower in the reality TV food chain.
First, it was regular people, but they weren’t that interesting after a while. Famous people replaced real people, but famous people weren’t interesting enough, so they were also replaced. Famous people were replaced by famous people who hadn’t been famous in a while doing wacky stunts. Now, we’ve reached the point where it’s the boyfriend of the sister of the girl who was on “Lizzie McGuire.” I’d say, what’s next, bloggers with their own reality show, but sadly, I believe that’s happening. So, what’s next in this famous person reality TV show food chain? A show about the guy who cleans pools in Malibu or a show about the assistant to the guy who cleans celebrities’ pools in Maliboobs?
There has to be a greater justification as to why these guys are on TV other than being a reality version of “Entourage”. For the most part, the guys on “twentyfourseven” fit into the “Entourage” arch types. The singer guy is Drama, except instead of track pants, he wears BAPE knock off hoodies with a mo hawk. The main guy is E, but nowhere as likeable and relatable as E, and for the most part, the rest of the people on the show are as annoying and as useless as Turtle. What makes “Entourage” a show that one is willing to sit through is Ari Gold. There’s nobody on this fake show as charismatic and compelling as Ari. You love to hate Ari, but with the dudes on the other show, you just hate them irregardless.
Irregardless of the comparisons to “Entourage,” who are the viewers rooting for to become successful and famous? They’re never presented in a likeable fashion. Well, take it back, the filmmaker dude seems cool, but everybody else just seems like the biggest asshole on the face of the planet. They all seem like they would be the guys who in their giant truck would ride right on your trail with the hi beams on, assuming that this will make one good faster in the midst of twilight terror.
Cipes, that hippie guy, honestly just makes me want to melt the polar ice caps. You know, stand on one of them with him watching me as I take a blowtorch to an iceberg, melt it, all the while, eating one of those disgusting Philly cheesesteak hamburgers from Carl’s Jr. Actually, make it two of those burgers, while melting the polar ice caps. Sure, it’d upset Al Gore, but it’d make the hippie guy really bummed. Devendra Banhart, while me bug most people, made hippies seem cool to me; Johnny Knoxville called himself a hippie, so you know, hippies were becoming cooler, but then I see this guy talking about positive molecules in your water and wondering where the money you pay taxes on goes, I single handily wanted to bring on global warming that exact moment in time.
Also, this show just makes me wonder even more what has become of MTV. I know that they’ve stopped playing videos a long time ago; they rarely play videos on MTV2; you gotta have one of the special MTVs on digital cable in order to watch music videos. But you know, does anybody else remember during the hey day of Spike Jonze; putting MTV on, in a glimmer of hope that maybe you’d see some new video by Spike Jonze. Or being glued to the TV because there was a sneaking suspicion that they were going to show the video for “Let Forever Be” at a certain time. Granted, video watching has been easy recently, but at the same time, it’s better to see a video on a TV than shrink to fit the computer screen.
The point being, long gone are the days of hoping to catch a great video and it’s been replaced by the fear of running into the 14th replay of “twentyfourseven” that day or worse, “Real World: Denver.” Why haven’t they changed the name of “The Real World” to “Sluts in a Glasshouse”? For the next season, why don’t the producers cut through the bullshit and have the Real World house be in an actual bar and have their ‘job’ be running a bar.