&t skeet on mischa: 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Apr 28, 2006

so serial...


i'm going to be brief people and if anything, it's going to be shout out and brief run downs. rachel b, always a good choice.

holy shit! have you heard "over and over" by hot chip yet? i gotta say it once again, holy shit. i wasn't able to really get into their first album, "coming on strong," but from what i've heard off of "the warning," so far, i'm in love with. perhaps its that golden tim sweeney & james murphy touch. consider this your warning about "the warning". what a clever pun!

i'm on the chip about shuli from the howard 100 news pretty much blowing the cover of the whole ned from btls being a fake thing. if you had sirius, this would totally make sense to you. and from what i read about what carolla is doing these days, why not drop a couple of bucks and hear people getting shocked in the balls with shock collars.

related to sirius, i learned on stern that richard roeper is dating some 20 year old who talks like paris hilton and apparently is outta control. of course, there's no photos of it. apparently, getty images was too busy taking pictures of melissa joan fucking hart at some night club to be bothered with snapsnots from the howard stern film festival. or at least at the time, we went to press there were no photos on line.

i don't know if already said this, but thanks everybody for not voting for kelly pickler the other night. she was starting to act like wayne from "big love" after he pooped on his half sister's jacket; america caught her red handed trying to sing a song that can never be duplicated.

"los angeles" by frank black: opinion poll: great song or what? bonus point if you can remember what comedian used the tune as the theme song to their ill fated talk show.


and finally, "the (american) office" was on last night, a new episode after what seemed like months, but it was probably two or three weeks of repeats, but never the less, finally a new episode of the office was on. and each time, i watch the show, i find myself laughing more and more at the antics of the secondary characters, but its pretty hit and miss; well, more hit than miss, but you get the point. yet, mindy kaling as kelly and her rambling, 'windbag wednesday' monologues, stories, one sided conversations she has with jim 'fat' halpert and well, anybody else in general just send crashing onto the floor, laughing my head off. cheers to the whoever said, "let's making the character of kelly have more fun and just ramble." jeers to the executive who thinks more people care about the end of "will & grace" than a whole month of new episodes of "the office". it should be noted that when a friend of mine told me that mindy kaling visited the set of this film she's working on, i freaked out a bit and got slightly star struck.

Apr 26, 2006

cheers & jeers: a guide to coachella '06

although, i will not be attending this year's coachella in person. i, however, may check things via the webcast, but that'll probably be super slow and there'll be some super secret hidden charge involved with it. but all of that aside, if i were to go to coachella this year, this is who i'd see and the times they're playing:

saturday:
1pm - 1:40pm: the like at the outdoor theatre; it's a fun way to start the day; fairly casual rock.
2:30pm - 3:15pm: the walkmen at the main stage; one of my favorite live bands.
lunch break
now here's a situation: you can go many ways with your post lunch performances:
4:55pm - 6: 35pm: common & kanye on the main stage
4:25pm - 6:45pm: animal collective followed by my morning jacket at the outdoor theatre
5:05pm - 7:05pm: clap your hands say yeah followed by tv on the radio in the mojave tent
7:35pm - 8:25pm: devendra banhart in the gobi tent
8:45pm - 9:35pm: cat power in the mojave tent
9:50pm -11pm: decephe mode on the main stage.
11pm-12am: daft punk in the dance tent

sunday
1:05pm - 1:50pm: giant drag at the outdoor theatre
4pm - 4:45pm: phoenix in the gobi tent
5:15pm - 6:05pm: wolf parade in mojave tent
6:40pm - 7:10pm: gnarls barkley in the gobi tent
9:10pm - 10:20pm: massive attack on the main stage
12 am: finally get out of the parking lot and on the way home.

although, you can plan out your own schedule here. it should be noted that the weather channel says its perfect weather for shorty shorts. which is good for you, bad for me. wednesdays are the days that i can usually count on some shorty shorts action as of recent events, but weathermen said it could've rained and nobody wanted to be in the rain with shorty shorts on. so remember to drink lots and lots of water, take some photos and most likely, you'll have no cell reception whatsoever or at least an inability to make out going calls.

aqua lung


you have to wonder how much these three are having. the addition of izabel goulart is like putting crushed oreos chunks in an ice cream sundae. only making something that was already a home run into a grand slam. if the success of "8th & ocean," and "project runway" taught us anything about reality shows involving models, why isn't there a show in development about a model apartment in brazil or at least following the wacky day to day adventures of this threesome.

speaking of models, "8th & ocean," last night. first and formost, was one briana hicks wearing a diplo tee last night? if so, it's official that she's probably the hottest girl on the planet then. next week, she'll probably be in the model apartment, pants less, watching el topo. but onto the meat of the situation, this episode was a classic. there was the beginning of the end of the beginning of the end of vinci, which was priceless. you know how many times is this bikini brief wearing fella going to skate by in life? although, it should be noted that if vinci was being unprofessional, then ladies and gentlemen, i'm extremely unprofessional when i've worked on my friends' projects, but there's the difference, its my friends stuff and i'm just doing a solid. if i wasn't being helpful, then they would've told me to go home. if you're being paid 6 figures to walk down a little aisle, wear nice clothes and hang out with briana hicks, what's so hard about showing up on time? or waiting until things die down a bit until sharing that new song on the ipod with the male model friend? then we have the bookers, who seem like they're about to erupt at any moment and they're just waiting for somebody to really fuck up. these bookers know a thing or two about pushing the tension. gotta always push the tension. and finally, there's the increasingly brilliant, brian de palma film in the making saga of sabrina and kelly; i'm at a lost of words to describe how amazing the insults they traded with each other: "you're full of shit." "no, you're full of shit." they were pushing tension, but i think it would've be more than okay for them to explode and just smack the shit out of each other. kelly doesn't need to get breast implants, she just needs to smack her sister and get out of her system. sure, one way to get revenge is to not tell sabrina about castings when she's standing right next to you as you get the call. (how the fuck do you forget that?) they just need to go at it and get a little "melrose place" for a minute. yet, what'll end up happening is that towards the end of this season, they'll make an apperance on "tyra" and work things out.

sadly, i watched "tyra" the other day and they had janice dickinson one and they had videotaped her shrink sessions in a vomit inducing over stylized manner. basically in an attempt to copy vh-1's "breaking bonaduce" and i thought that it was going to be a home run (too many baseball references) cause as we all know that janice dickinson is insane and she should do something like "breaking bonaduce," but i should've remembered that i was watching "tyra," and known that it wasn't going to be fun at all. it was serious and boring. and of course, janice dickinson had to apologize for openning up and getting shit off her chest and for feeling better about herself and attempted to deflect and tell jokes. i'd tell you to check out "tyra" today cause they're gonna have her locked in a trunk of a car, but you know that won't be funny either. although, there was footage of her kicking open doors on her stage, so that may be funny after all is said and done.

potentially funny tv show alert: there's an episode of "walker, texas ranger" on usa this friday. i think it's at noon, but i'm not sure. i make a note of this because luis guzman is guest starring in it. so imagine the pairing of chuck norris and luis guzman. if you're not laughing already, then, i don't know, you probably need to watch more marx brothers films.

further related: luis guzman is starring in the jeff goldblum tv show pilot. so let's hope that gets picked up. we need to see the teaming of those two on the weekly basis. come on, can you imagine guzman playing off of goldblum

robin brown pulls a 'led zepplin' and goes off on baseball yet again.

have you listened to "crosses" by zero 7 yet? seriously, it'll be your new theme song.

shout outs to katharine mcphee for nearly falling out of her outfit last night on "american idol," but it's pretty much paris bennet's contest to lose, then again, america does love a ditzy blonde and well, kellie pickler fills that role in spades. she's like jessica simpson, but only more stupid and without a creepy menacing joe simpson like puppet master or a chain smoking, terrible rapper stealing all of her money.

there's going to be another spears federline child in the world and so soon; jeeper creepers. maybe k-fed is alot smarter than we give him credit for. you know, maybe he's pumping out the kids, then kaboomba, get the divorce a couple of years now and tries to get a major sposual support check out of the situation and just live fat off the hogg formley known as britney spears.


man, laura harring really let herself go after mulhollad dr. jeepers creepers; click on the photo for a closer look.

dudes, i don't think i'm going to be able to slug it all the way through this week, let alone next week. i'm starting to take this me against the world stance, which basically mounts to me listening to that song, "club foot" by kasabian and shadow boxing and jumping in place. you know, i'm doing too much writing here and i have to focus my brain elsewhere cause i'm writing a couple of papers that are kicking my ass up and down the street. i need my whole brain there; not half of it and the other half focused in on how awesome celebrity hair stylist kim vo is (jonathan antin is over). so the month may is going to be hit and miss. you know, i just need to figure out to spread my thoughts on easy rider over 5 pages when i think the film is only so so and set the standard or at least started the tradition of hippies selling out, then maybe, just maybe, i'll be okay, but the day i'm okay is the day that all of this business is finished.

speaking of jonathan antin and kim vo, i know that spencer sloan shouted out kim vo last week, but after catching him on the daily 10 the other night, kim vo needs to be on the next season of "blow out" or at least the style channel should give him his own show. he's that creepy, he's that weird and most importantly, he's that entertaining. kim vo seems to be in love with everybody and not going to be a shill for his sister's group's ringtones and randomly out of left field become an avid golfer. where did that whole 'i cut hair and i golf,' angle come from on "blow out"? you know, i just thought jonathan knew about bangin' hair and attempts to recreate that monologue at the end of raging bull. you know that scene in magnolia where john c reliey is in his police cruiser and gives that brilliant monologue as if there's a camera crew or a partner in his car, but he's all alone in the cruiser; i have to wonder if jonathan antin when he's driving around la by himself? no camera crew or passangers.

related: it costs $95 for jonathan's beauty water? which is what? a britta filter that goes on your shower head?

just when i thought i was out, they pull me back in; willa holland to guest star on the season finale of "the oc" [via oh no they didn't & thighs wide awesome]; and perhaps even news and speculation: willa holland to be made season regular on the next season of "the oc". while this sorta sounds like season 3 of "laguna beach," you know the show shifting its focuses from one sister to another, but the big difference is this, willa holland is awesome; l.c.'s sister most likely extremely boring. and alls i can say to make season 4 of "the oc" better, katlin cooper hangs out with murs and lady soveregin plays the bait shop; let's hip hop shit up, dudes. if it's going to be a radical reinvention of the show, then less death cab and more cannibal ox.

Apr 25, 2006

wimpy wimpy


for a pretty bad ass dude, christopher henderson on "24" has a really wimpy ring tone. granted, i'm not expecting him to have like "laffy taffy," or like the theme from halloween, but you know, something with a little more balls to it. i guess its supposed to sound 'business' like, but come on, he's robocop and if fox didn't announce that they picked up "24" for two more seasons (way too ruin the suspense, dudes), i would've thought that christopher henderson could've been the only dude to knock out jack bauer. whatever happened to pushing the tension?

i sorta have a problem. i'm a little too into that song, "crosses" off of the new zero 7 album. it reminds me of the song, "driver's seat" but not really. and if they ever make a video for it. it should look like the night time beach party in la dolce vita.

go clips, but i dunno if they could handle the suns.

Apr 24, 2006

we've been had aka don't talk about shortys in front of other shortys


is anybody else drinking the tigarah kool aid yet? steve aoki is calling her the japanese answer to m.i.a., but i'm thinkin' she's more lady sovo, but not as interesting or at least, not that interesting yet. i remember when i first heard m.i.a.'s stuff, i was taken back by the production , then the raps got me, then i heard that diplo co signed on m.i.a.. and lady sovo is slowly winning me over. i dug her stuff on "run the road," but anything i've heard since, has been pretty okay. not great, but you know, a 'c' for effort. and this tigarah business, i dunno. she's cute and all and i do have to admit that the tune, "everything is in your hands" is pretty nice (vocoder part excluded), but i'm holding my reservations and comments until the full album is out there.

it should be noted that tigarah is more on the ball with her myspace friend requests than rugger rell.

i dunno with exception to that ghostface and gnarls barkley and t.i. albums and clipse singles, rap is letting me down as of late. i need some great hustlin' anthem to get me through my next patch of rewrites. when i was doing a draft of my script, i was consistently listening to rick ross' "hustlin'" and "what you know" by t.i. and you know, i'm having troubles getting back onto the horse of rewrites and in may, i pretty much have to get back onto the trolley and finish another draft, which also means, bi weekly updates on the skeet shoot. i can't get a great boost of ego and self confidence and bravodo from a fucking snap records and lame hyphy remixes with the game on it. where's the solid records with guys talking about how much coke they move in a week and how they're the best mcs out there? we need some el-p and cam stat.

semi related, in regards to the best neptunes songs ever discussion from the other, i have to remove "when the last time," by the clipse off my list and replace it with "run to the sun" by n.e.r.d. "in search of.." has to be one of those desert island albums for me, but i'll probably fast forward through "rock star".

spencer sloan was on fire last week; its pretty intense and it'll probably be more of the same this week.

can somebody explain to me, why the boondock saints is such a beloved movie? i saw it once and it was one of the worst movies i've ever seen; yet, it's loved by hundreds of thousands people. i saw a promo for a special screening they were doing of the film when i went to the movies last week and people went nuts about seeing it on the big screen.

is that ashlee simpson or am i just going nuts? are there people out there who've decided that they're at the 'fuck fish' phase with trying to copy karen o and shannyn sossamon and now all about looking the daughter of satan, joe simpson? and i think that's the guy from maroon5, but thats whatever, cause he's the guy in maroon5 and the only interesting one could say about maroon5 is how's that sophomore slump coming along, boys? but then again, i bet that guy has a nice stack of f you money from all of those 'now! thats what i call music' cds and also, is that tommy lee? i smell a supergroup on par with damn yankees. guys, can you take me high enough?


could either one of these couples look any more excited about being at the premiere of rv? will arnett is in the movie and he looks as if anybody spots him there, he'll lose all of his street cred (dude, he was g.o.b.; he has fred williard status. sure, its a bit embarrassing to see him pop up in date movie, but he was the air force lieutenant in this is spinal tap) and you know, amy poehler is like whatevs, gotta support my dude, but i'd rather be watching tawny kitaen flip out on "the surreal life". then on the other end of the spectrum, you have soccer wunderkind freddy adu and jojo. there's nothing really unusual about these two; it just seems as if freddy adu is there because he may have mentioned in an interview somewhere that he dug jojo and some clumsy p.r. person decided it'd make for a great photo opp if the twosome went to a premiere together. never the less, long live 'jodu'.

word around the camp fire is that gods girls (potentialy nsfw) is now suppose to launch on wednesday of this week, but i'm not holding breath. its taking as long as jodorowsky is to make his next film. clearly, these people are emphasisng quality and not quantity.

has anybody heard the new walkmen album yet? one of my better birthdays was spent watching them play live and i may have to lift the 'no more shows until i see the broken social scene' ban and see the walkmen again. such a great live band. i just wonder how the new album sounds.

speaking of new albums, there's one thing i'm missing out on by listening to howard stern pretty much like 14 hours a day and that's kcrw. i miss flipping over during a commercial break on stern and hearing some good new song on morning becomes ecletic. just sorta becoming awash in the calming tone of nic harcourt's voice as he talks about some new zero 7 song or casually mentions that they're going to have the artic monkeys on live in about ten minutes. thats the one thing, sirius is missing a great musicial mind like nic harcort. and if there wasn't a little blurb in the la times yesterday morning about the new zero 7 album and how harcourt is creaming his jeans over the new album; which by the way, from what i heard so far, sounds like a perfect summer day. granted, that statement feels as if i lifted directly from the press release by the record company, but it has a much more airy, upbeat, dreamy quality to it; perfect sitting on a patio with a cold imported beer, waiting for somebody to finish cooking the turkery burgers on the grill. the addittion of jose gonzalez to the collective definately gives it a much warmer, dreamier sound. zero 7 was already dreamy, but the new record is run around in the grass dreamy. check out "crosses"


clips catch a break in the playoffs by getting the number 3 seed nuggets at home and not the mavs. same can't be said about the kobe show though. maybe the lakers don't win if kobe scores under 30 points; although, he did get hacked towards the end and what's the deal with the three day gap between games? let alone, the promotion of the playoffs starting. for as much television as i watch and as infrequently as i read the new york times, you would still think i'd hear about the playoffs starting sooner or later.

but then again, i don't even know why i bother to keep up with sports in the first place. i barely keep up with watching games when i'm at a bar. well, it's not a bar as much as its one of those places that makes their own beer, but it'll sell other brands as well. but thats neither here nor there. you know, there's the angels game on the big screen in front of me and on my left is the ducks playoff game and in another corner is a dodgers game and somewhere in the mix is another hockey game, but then there's conversation amongst friends that i gotta keep abreast of, not to mention the exchange of text messages, then there's shortys to keep an eye on, a pint of guinness to drink and a cheese steak sandwich to eat. also, throw in on my right side (my good side) the intoxicated ramblings of two men from new england, who'd shout "go sox" everytime the two people (a father son duo) who happened to wearing red sox gear, i think the son plays on a red sox little league team, would walk by, then they'd go into long and unnecessarily graphic detail about how hard they'd bang the waitress, then naturally they gotta break down all the best features of each waitresses, amongst other things. i'm not trying to say that these people were the worst people ever created by god; no, but mayhaps, alcohol helped their cause; and i'm not trying to sound all high and mighty because we've all had the conversations where we casually mention amongst friends that we want some person so hard. it's just a part of life and its only natural. but here's the thing, i have a terrible case of add and that situation created the worst sensory overload for me. when i go watch a game in person, i expect that sorta of thing and thats pretty much why we go to live sporting events. the yelling, the shouting, the shared moment and to a lesser extent, the sports bar has that, but when you're a weirdo like me, your brain explodes and you retreat quickly back home where you relive your conversations with a professor on the peephole sequence in argento's opera and stay up until 3 in the morning watching "i'm alan partridge".

the blood brothers start work on a new album this week, i believe. while an acquired taste, never the less, the fact that the blood brothers are making new music is really good and it'll end up sounding like an early blonde redhead album.


the weirdest thing about "big love," was that scene when the dude started to drive the car with his boner. that was weird, but what's also weird about the show is that they pretty much cast all the good guest stars from "veronica mars". you got lilly kane as the daughter, you got mac as member of the lds and you got beaver casablancas as the boner shield to bill paxton's son. here's the thing, if hbo is going to employee most of the reoccuring cast for "v.mars," then they should pick it up if it doesn't make the move over to the cw. it's only economical for hbo; instead of giving two paychecks, they could give one. and it'd make a great double feature. some college co ed sleuthing followed by the trials and tribulations of having 3 wives and trying to battle economic supergiant wal mart.

Apr 22, 2006

my iroc t-tops


saturday update. nothing really, just a caption.

this 'my super sweet 16' business is getting seriously out of hand. first, it was about having helicopters dropping the guest of honor into the party and getting range rovers, then it was about having ciara play your party and driving your adoptive parents bonkers, then it started to be about having kanye west play your party, but now, the show is simply about underage drinking while the cobrasnake snaps alot of pictures of it. you know, what happened to the new generation of veruca salts (still can fight the seether) wanting benzs, now its been replaced with wanting to reenact their favorite 50 cent videos. clearly, it's cheaper for the folks, aside for the legal matters, but you know, where's the whining and stomping of the feet?

Apr 21, 2006

red light, green light


i was watching tv the other day and the day before that, i talked about the return of shorty shorts and i went out and about and i saw some serious shorty shorts action and i sorta realized that vanessa minnillo has to be the leader of the shorty shorts movement. she's like the dip set of hot pants.

has anybody been over to the clipse's my space page recently? yeah, the beat for "mr me, too" is nice, but too much skateboard p; but i think that tune, "kruger gangsta pimp" is beyond necessary. in fact, it's actually mandatory. yet at the same time, i keep hearing that this "hell hath no fury" album is coming and it seems like it's going happen within the next couple of months, which leads me to the next lightning round.

lightning round: what is the best neptune song? a week or two ago, they did a similar count down on the all out show about the best neptunes song and they weren't including any of the pop records or n.e.r.d records. according to rude jude, the best neptunes song was "grindin'" by the clipse and i sorta have agree on that statement. like my top 5 has to be and i'm including n.e.r.d. records as well: "grindin" by clipse, "superthug" by norega, "stay together" off of "in search of..", "excuse me miss" by jay and "when the last time" by clipse. so, what's your top 5?


it seems like months and months since i've watched an episode of ""the oc" and even though, i'm a big fan of rachel bilson and i do apperciate samaire armstrong, but you know, i just don't need to deal with that headache anymore. it's sorta like how when you start to work out, you start to feel better; you know when you get that healthy feeling back in your body; that's sorta how i feel about "the oc." i've watched ryan and marissa play that tug war about getting back there again. i have no clue what's happened with sandy cohen and his eye borrows. i have yet to hear a clever zinger by seth cohen and bad references to japanese cinema by that one girl who was sorta like tracy flick at first but became boring and whiny. it's a great feeling, but the only problem is that i like some of the actors on the show and i just really hope that they can make the transition to the big screen successfully or at least, get a script for some great hbo series. just imagine, how awesome it would be if rachel b as the 4th sister- wife on "big love" or a couple of guest spots as margene's long lost half sister. so for those keeping score and longing for an "oc" write up check out television without pity, which is probably ten million times funnier.

what a bummer for diamond dave and to be replaced by a watered down, censored version of some lamey show on xm to boot. but it is really going to bing down diamond dave? i mean the dude sung the song, "panama".

related; if you watch the video for "panama," you'll see michael anthony's immortal jack daniels bass and you know, that's something servely lacking in the indie rock scene today. we all know that some of our favorite singers/songwriters, guitarists, what have yous like to paratake in the booze and the drugs and the women, so why not embrace it. we're not, well i shouldn't speak for everybody, but at least in my case, i wouldn't take anybody less seriously if they were to perform a tune on stage while jamming away on a guitar thats painted to look like a baggie of coke. if anything, i'd admire the individual even more, cause they're open and honest about their condition and will probably get some more free drugs after the show.

you probably already knew this, but that gnarls barkley album is really good, but you have to buy a copy of it. remember, cee-lo's daughter was on "my super sweet 16".

mtv's list of the next 10 greatest mcs of all time and mtv's list of11-20 greatest rappers of all time; fuck that, ghostface & raekwon should be in the top ten.

anybody want to send me to france to cover this year's cannes festival? i just really want to watch babel and southland tales

Apr 20, 2006

heavy lifting



i don't know, but if you heard hulk hogan call into the btls the other day, talking about how he's freaking out over his family and how he wants to go to jail because in jail, he'll still be hogan and gets to lift weights all day. thats sorta where i'm at, right now. it's just been a bad week, you know. sugar binge eating, girls in shorty shorts, watching throughly depressing films on sunny days, having theorys being proven incorrect and in the words of mr pink, "acting like the only professional".

so here's me being lazy and presenting to you something that i see at my bowling alley every week. there seems to be a monthly cycle of music videos they play at night at the lanes. and well, i can't really bowl until i watch the damn yankee's video for "high enough." now, this video was made famous cause it had an excellent guitar solo by the motorcity madman, ted nugent and there's a great bit by patton oswalt on this video as well. it's classic and quite frankly, you simply have to watch it to apperciate its glory and magic.

but bowling music videos are weird because it's a mixture of mid to late 80s videos and alot of late 90s stuff. the only video remotely 'scene' is that franz ferdinand video for "do you want to," and there's weird back to back blocks of foo fighters and foreigner videos. for some reason, bowlers like league hard core bowlers are really into listening to "learn to fly," and then "i want to know what love is". although, its been a mighty feat for us to not make a joke when they play great white. it's so easy, but it's a better person who doesn't go there. i went to a bowling alley once where they were playing juelz santana and "laffy taffy" and it was cool, but when i left, i nearly got jumped in the parking lot, so i'm done with that place.

and for those keeping score, i bowl at the place where janice dickinson made fun of mentaly challenged people on that season of "the suureal life".

also, shout outs to america for not voting for ace young, but at the same time i have to retract those shout outs for putting kellie pickler for another round. yeah, the cute, dumb blonde thing worked for the first couple of rounds, but it's like this, we don't need another jessica simpson. it's bad enough we have to deal joe simpson, drew lachey, the chick that drew lachey danced with on "dancing with the stars," and ashlee simpson; now, i gotta deal with kellie pickler acting like she doesn't know the meaning of words. catch the mcpheever, dudes.

shout outs to hbo for picking up another season of "big love". i'm thinking season 2, we'll probably see lilly kane from "v.mars" take a whizz cause everybody so far has taken a whizz on camera.

and even more shout outs to cee lo & danger mouse for making the song, "crazy," which is my new theme song and to the defunct q & not u cause i think i'm going to make an aboric work out around doing air drums to their song, "so many animal cells".

Apr 19, 2006

windbag wednesday aka beating hearts baby


no caption required cause bill murray holding up a sketch of andy garica is funny all on its own. although, it should be asked does or has anyone actually purchased one of those artist sketchings of like pacino as tony montana? at this one movie theater i go to sometimes, there used to be a guy who sold sketches and paintings of tony montana and jennifer aniston, but it seemed as if he never ever moved any product. is there a great demand for charcol drawings of tony soprano? perhaps at the swap meet.

hey did you hear tom cruise & katie holmes had a kid the other day? i bet you they're eating cold placenta sandmiches like its thanksgiving left overs. with a nice little birth cord smoothie as a chaser. and you just know that some wacky chief is being shopped around from talk show to talk show to celebrity news show to celebrity news show wishing to talk about the many ways tom cruise could've eaten katie holmes' after birth.

it also should be noted that the baby poped out right in time for spring break, too. is it me or has like the wee ones been on spring break for the last couple of weeks? you cruise by some hardwear store and a handy man is walking out with his daughter and he's rolling his eyes cause she's going off on some story about how alison deleted her myspace profile cause her mom freaked out, but like 30 minutes later, she had a new account and it was private and how she didn't send her an add yet. i admire the take your daughter to work aspect of the situation, but at the same time, it's gonna be a pain in the neck for the handy man.


another good thing about it being spring time, is that's okay to wear shorts. and from what i've seen so far of the shorts, therer should be outta hand shorty shorts action going down at whoachella '06. so hopefully it'll make you, if you're a dude or just a fan of shorty shorts in general, feel that your money has been well spent instead of dropping all that money to drive out to the desert just to check out wolf parade, phoenix, and gnarls barkley. i'm not talking about american apparel shorty shorts, i'm talking designer, expensive shit, shorty shorts.

speaking of gnarls barkley, who also has "crazy" as their new ringtone?

further quasi related, i'm not sure where to stand on the matter of leggings or tights or whatever 80s flashback thing thats going on as of late. i'm on the fence about the matter cause here's the situation, i have yet to see anybody successfully pull this off in person, but i've sorta seen it in photos, mostly american apparel ads, but that's neither here nor there. yet at the same time, isn't the death knell of a fad when debbie debbie matenopoulos starts talking about on the daily 10.


the next miss usa is too busy to do that swimsuit competition this year. she's gotta save the planet in a rousing game of air hockey against the martians. seriously, what has happened to the beauty pagents these days? the days everybody crowded around the tv, rooted for miss california and all the girls had gigantic hair. now adays, they have to do personal apperances at theme bars in new york city. and further evidence that nobody cares about beauty pagents; whether its miss usa or miss america, was back in high school, we had miss america, i don't remember her name, came and spoke. like nobody went to see her speak. you know like a driver's ed class, a health class and like maybe a cermaics class went. nobody else cared about it.

the av club interviews san clemente's prodigal son, rian johnson, the director of one of the year's better films (the best film of the year, so far is bubble), brick. although, johnson answers the most important question: "is he a fan of 'veronica mars'?" here

cam'ron really sucks at adding new friends on myspace. i sent him an add like two weeks ago and still no reply yet. i know that mostly interns from either the artist's management firm or record label handle the profile, but you know, they could be on more on the ball about the situation.


lindsay lohan's impression of lucille bluth is way better than my impressions of various performances from the michael mann film collateral. i'm mildly offended by the use of rilo kiley's rather excellent tune "portions for foxes" in the ads for just my luck even if bree turner and samaire armstrong are in it. you see i wanted to write a script called "portions for foxes," but now that's fucking out the window. thanks a pantsful.

i have to say, i have to say that last night's "blow out," was probably the best one of the new season so far. you know, fast forward the first twenty minutes and get to the real meat of it when the old, classic jonathan antin returns. granted, the first half of the show continued to play out like a super long commercial for sprint and then there was that whole bit about 'professional' scott, which is no fun cause everybody likes their scott to be falling over drunk, unable to give directions and with hair. and you know there was that moment witht their weirdo zorbitz guy and that could've been way better. you know the guy with the plucked eye borrows could've been like, "i was just fucking around dude with that whole box of rocks business." you know that he did the whole bowl of rocks to get his revenge, but it still sorta flat and lame.

but the most important part of that whole episode is when jonathan does that photoshoot for bacardi, its amazing. he's yelling at people, picking fights and perhaps in the greatest fuck you moment to corporate america, every two minutes, he's mispronucing the product name. jonathan must've watched sweet movie(slightly nsfw) or dusted off his crass records cause the rebelious spirit got in him and it got him good. the show needed to have this fight against establishment while trying to do finger curls and faux hawks. one simply can't fight the man with words and protesting; sometimes, it takes a man, his assitant, a pair of scissors and a bag full of hair care product baring the man in question's name on it to rattle a few cages.


as i'm watching last night's "8th & ocean," a pretty decent episode. you know, too much teddy; not enough brianna and her extensions. but anyways, as i'm watching the episode and there's the hot tub scene and i noticed the two dudes in the back with giant skate shoes on wearing basketball shorts. and i'm wondering are these guys just hanging around, hoping to see some model skin or something along those lines? i remember one night me and robin brown drove around to various apartment complex hot tubs and i'd pop out of the car, take a picture, an attempt to bust somebody's shit, run away and see what happens when i developed the roll; we only busted one guy and i felt bad cause the guy seemed stressed out, but you know, if you're going to do pepping tom behavior like those guys in the photo, at least be more sleath about it; don't wear all yellow. i know that miami is a gaddy town, but you know, it's not that gaddy. and another problem with the episode is this, am i supposed to feel bad or sympatheic for teddy cause heide is on everybody but his jock? are we suppose to make that emotional connection with the character? cause i'm not buying that; i need a couple of co signers for me to have those particular emotions. oh man, teddy just got played and he really seemed to be into the girl. there's no way to feel sorry for the dude when right across from him at the fucking dinner table is britt, whose totally in love with the guy. and the episode lacked that magic, that sean magic. adrian proved that models are only skin deep people when he said the line about the girl being a monet. also there were two extremely distrubing moments on the show; like it was out of the movie silent hill or something. one, in the beginning, there was a shot of kelly, i believe and her face looked liked pizza the hut (i know what a douce to knock a person for being superficial, to only make a superficial comment a sentence or two later). then there was that shot of irene marie laughing. well just anything in general involving irene marie scares me. she's like blue iris(nsfw) combined with felicity huffman in transamerica but really into wrapping jackets around her waist.

Apr 18, 2006

i'm a dancer, not a duelist


very necessary. rihanna's video for "s.o.s. (rescue me)", if you haven't seen it yet, which i have to say, come on, get on the trolley.


and before i go even further on, allow me to say this. there's no greater feeling than a pair of brand new socks and there's no more embarrassing sound than sound of you spliting your underpants. and if somehow you manage to do both on the same day, you're gonna need to listen to "the red" produced by dilla off of that jaylib album and/or listen to "waitin' for superman" by the flaming lips, then your day will be on the good side. ginnifer goodwin has nothing to do with this, but i assume if you knew her, she'd probably tell you that she digs that one flaming lips song, too.

for anybody keeping score, i think i won my war with power point. it's just like anything, the more you use, the better you get at it and once i discovered that there's all those wonky transitions, i felt a little more comfortable with the thing. i saw some stuff on par with star wipe and i just felt at ease. you know, it's sorta like using final cut cept it's not as interesting and its with words instead. i still think its a bastard program creating a generation of kids who make presentations where every time, we see a new slide, we get some wacky sound effect. presentations are meant to be boring; it's all on the individual to sell the subject matter.

lightning round: does anybody know what happened to dan the automator? granted there was the handsome boy modeling school album in the winter of '04 with a couple of tunes, but really, what's going on with the dude? i sure you could use some wacky mike patton concept album or another installment of the deltron; you know something that's automator or has the dude gone into hiding cause danger mouse came through and stole his thunder or is automator just hanging out in the bay area, making hyphy tracks with dj shadow & david
banner?

i was reading through the talkbacks on aint it cool the other day about "24," and they brought an interesting point. we're with jack bauer over a 24 hour period and we've never seen the guy take a leak. maybe, it's happened in the moments where that one dude who hates chloe is fucking things up, but by in large, i can't recall that he's never taken a whiz. i understand not eating, because it's too intense to take a moment on the day to grab a burger or something and eat it while he's driving to bust somebody's head in. now, you watch "prison break," a show which should be more intenser than it is and those guys are eating all the time. granted, they're in prison, but still, they have time to chow down, but you know, don't you think jack would break a power bar sooner or later.

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i mean if he has enough time to make a one of those things for andrea rains instead of going after robocop, then he has time to pop in a granola bar or something. you know that's probably the first thing buchanan did when he got home from ctu. marshal law most likely prevented him from being up a double double, but you know he wanted one and he probably made of those jumbo decker jim bleushi sandwiches, which chloe totally busted his shit on when she was using his work station. its just very bizzare. you know, andrea rains has all the time in the world to throw some super expensive white overcoat on, but grabbing a quick bite from the gas station. oh no, that's impossible. my nerves are on edge and i can't have anything at all.

and "24" is why i look forward to mondays. you know, sitting in class, on the chip, angry about nothing, but at the same time, its really something, but i have to say that last night, "24" kinda over did it with the split screen. 8 fucking screens, come on, that's over kill and i'm a fan of split screen, too.

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what kind of "8th & ocean" are we getting tonight? is it going to be more sean and teddy cementing their titles' as this generation's neruda?



or more of briana secretly telling sabrina that she wants her to be inside of her? i'm sorta hoping for both.

Apr 17, 2006

horse apples aka gimme me three steps, mister.


i want to say it was around this time last year or perhaps, a month ago last year, the expression, "outta control," came into my vocabulary and shortly afterwards it entered the vocabs of other people, but it didn't, unfortunately have the ability to spread like a virus. as time progressed on, it was extremely hard to find something that embodied the spirit of being "outta control," or even for that matter, "outta hand." it got to the point where the term went into retirement. yet as i watching the film, brick and i see the actress, nora zehetner and quite frankly, it was the rebirth of "outta control". i don't want to step on the toes of the thigh master, but he's right on the money. i don't know what it is about her, but there's something about her, that's outta control and she's so good in brick, but so underused as well.

as for brick, which marked my first trip to the movies in nearly two months, is this once you get past the whole bugsy malone, 'oh, this is like "veronica mars": the movie' and get comfortable with the film's slang, you're sucked in and having fun with it.

speaking of "v mars", i finally got caught the last two episodes and it's pretty good, but i thought the whole veronica dreaming about the kids on the bus struck me as a bit "twin peaks" ish, which isn't a bad thing in theory, but just seems sorta out of the normal for the show. i love the hazy, blurry visual style of the flashbacks, but, i dunno, the dream sequence was a bit too much. perhaps, i'm just calling it 'twin peaks' esque cause anything weird or remotely unusual within the confines of a show seems like that show. although, i got the iggy on "twin peaks".

lightning round: is "4th chamber" by the gza featuring ghostface, rza & killah priest the best wu solo song of all time?

has anybody seen that horrible "yo momma" show on mtv yet? to me, it just seems like a live action version of insult master from "aqua teen hunger force" and if you play that game on the adult swim website, you'll probably laugh a lot more often than this show. the whole show seems like a bunch of dudes with trucker hats, designer jeans and wallet chains running around, shouting, "ah snaps," or whatever generic slang that kids are into these days. you know where the humor in it; like it would be interesting if it was a bunch of grade school kids snapping on each other and their struggle to be clever and biting; instead of a bunch of people standing around in a park. there's the whole 'where did they learn how to say that' factor if it was kids snapping back and forth against each other. and you know, if i wanted to a show about dudes in trucker hats, ed hardy hoodies and wallet chains, i'd go to lucky strike or some bar in newport beach and watch those dude trash talk with each other after one bumps into another at the bar.


speaking of newport beach, i have to wonder how many of you witnessed the magic known as e!'s "child star confidential"? holy moly, man, holy moly. they featured the life story of jeremy jackson, the kid that played "hobie" on baywatch and seriously, the thing made me question my sense of humor. after it was over, i asked myself, why do i find somebody's soberity to be the funniest thing since that episode of "i'm alan partridge" where he tries to have a james bond marathon. it was so perfect and great. you know that sketch on "mr show with bob & david," the pardoy of e! true hollywood story on corey feldman; you know, josh fendermen and honesty in motion. that sketch still thinking about makes me throw up from laughing so hard. anyways, the point is, if there's a point, is the mini true hollywood story about jeremy jackson plays out like that josh fenderman sketch, but only better cause jeremy jackson has this redonklicously long mullet (check his myspace for the gory details) and during the interview, they go with him to get a haircut, but it doesn't look as if he got anything done to his hair.

then like the last five minutes of the piece is just him running around, jumping and dancing all over some club in newport beach. it was beautiful, shoeless james blunt style. like i could watch it all day long. you know, fuck the third season of "laguna beach" being about l.c. sister's, let's move go north on pch for like 15 minutes (put that dfa remix of that hot chip tune on repeat and it'll be all kosher) and hang out with newport beach/huntington beach party kids for a season. you know, e!, get on the trolley and do the jeremy jackson show. fuck chelsea handler or where are the producers of the surreal life on this? the world needs more of jeremy jackson and his glamorous mullet!

lightning round part 2: why is every other red hot chilli peppers song post dave narravo weirdness about california?

gotta say that last friday's "wonder showzen" was pretty amazing. middle america speaking in gibberish except for "texas" cameos by david cross, amy poehlr and jon glaser, amongst others and of course, trevor with 'beat kids.' i'd love to see a full episode of "horse apples". i smell a future dvd extra for next year.

this is a little venting here, so bear (witness) with me for a moment. i'm doing this group project right now and it's giving me uclers even more often & frequently than i usually do. there are few people i like to work with. friends, mark from hella awful, and short engaged women who tell me not to worry about putting together the power point cause they need to get an a very much badly. i like to work with people who answer their emails, text messages and return voice mails. perhaps, i'm the weirdo in the mix here, but this group, i'm working with either i blew up their mailbox by sending huge files. and i know that you guys should be making the 'mwah' sound effects in addittion to playing the world's tinyiest violins, but i'm frustrated and i assume that if i talk it, perhaps if i went as far as to hug it out, i'd feel better about the situation. and here's the thing that makes my matters worse, i tried to used power point the other night and that has to be the most confusing program in the wide world. seriously, i honestly believe the world would be a much better place if there was no power point. i know how to monkey around with final cut pro and i can sorta make beats out of gun shot sound effects on soundtrack pro and i've burned a dvd using idvd though, but this powerpoint thing is like fucking kryptonite. i write or at least i try to write movie scripts, so i wont have to deal with making presentations using power point. if this power point problem is going to continue on, then we need to teach it to our youth sooner, than later. i remember taking a class on how to play the keyboard while i was a wee one, but on second thought, if there was a power point class avaiable, i would've taken it (hind sight is 20/20 though).

best line, or at least second best line on "big love," last night was when margene yelled, "i just wanted to watch a fucking romantic comedy, ben." the show managed to capture the trivial frustrations of life so perfectly. some times in life, you know, we just want to watch a fucking romantic comedy and not be hasseled about it. we've been dealing with making power point presentations and people need to unwind. some burn a wheel, and others want to watch a romantic comedy.

Apr 14, 2006

pay to come


not only is the video for the rihanna tune, "s.o.s. (rescue me)" amazing, but it's actually a pretty damn good song. shout outs to chris applebaum for directing the thing and further shout outs to the dude who said, "we should sample 'tainted love' on this track, huh?" and the other dude who said, "yeah, you're probably right," and major shout outs to rihanna's gym.

semi related, did you see that super sweet 16 featuring the son of l.a. reid? okay, now, that guy hired some video girls to walk him into the party. now here's my thing, if you're dad is the head dude at the label of let's say, rihannna, won't you being bugging him to have her be your arm candy at your party? granted having kanye perform was major, but at the same time, you're gonna blow the minds of all those long island kids by cruising in with rihanna at your party or at least, i'd be so head of the curve and show up with lady sovereign and be like, "yeah, so what? i hang out with british midgets thats a better rapper than you." never the less, we should never watch "super sixteen" anymore. i watched cause i forgot i had an episode of "lost" on the dvr and i happen to remember after the show was over.

as for this week's "lost," i dunno. maybe this will make sense. i took this one class where we had to watch alot of movies; alot of slow movies with subtitles and some kids would watch the film in fast forward because you could still read a majority of the subtitles and get through the movie alot faster. so in other words, you could pretty much fast forward through most of that episode and pop in around the last ten minutes and you'll be solid gold. not sure about you, but i never really had the pressing desire to learn about the backstory of rose & bernard. the weird thing about this show, is that you'll create your own backstory for characters on the show or at least, say, "i think such and such is this," but when you see the actual backstory, you're like, "oh, that was nice." i'm not going to spoil things, but i think, i highly stress the word, 'think' that things might get interesting again fairly short.

loads of fun to listen to in the morning, but nine times better on youtube, carmen electra on howard stern.


oh, k.o.b.e. what can't you do? you score 85 points a night, barely make it to the playoffs and knock up your wife. i think kobe needs to dust off the old rhyme book and get behind the mic again. i mean if shaq is rapping again (i heard a tune he did on kay slay a couple of weeks ago), why can't we get k.o.b.e. out there again? or at least, hire the same people who've been ghostwriting for k fed to do some ghostwriting.


olivia munn is the new brooke burke, but you already knew that.

i saw pretty girls make graves the other day at amoeba. i've sorta been holding off on writing about the show until i've listened to the new album at least one time all the through. well, i've gotten through a majority of the album and well, it's definately a growner, but it's a good kind of a growner. it's going to take a while for die hard fans to adjust to the new sound. you know to go from emo math rock with sing & shout choruses to spacey, slower tempo songs with accordian solos is a bit rough, but as one continues to listen to the album and feels it out more, then it starts to make sense and it's a pretty good record. it's no "good health," but then again, what is? to go from two dueling guitars going back and forth on something like "ghosts on the radio," to the aforementioned accordion solo on "sailing the wind" is rather harsh. it's like quitting soda cold turkey for a couple of weeks, then having a 64 ounce wild cherry pepsi; your body just isn't ready for that and well, your ears need a time of adjustment, too. i think its an album that you have to hear live before you can really get into it and they're coming back to town in early june.and it looks like they're touring with giant drag as well. apparently, it's 'babes of indie rock' tour. you get feist on that bill and you got yourself a winner right there.

although, i don't know if i'm the right age to go to a pgmg show anymore. i'm waiting for the show to start and basically amoeba starts to look like the parking lot of a multiplex on a friday night. just a bunch of kids hanging around, up to no good and making myself feel bad that i have a copy of russ meyer's faster pussycat! kill! kill! and plain clothes security is giving me the evil eye as well. still a good show, even if it was too short. and without parking valudation, i would've paid through the nose cause i was there for so long cause you know, traffic is terrible and i was walking to my car, i was passing by people, who i want to believe just got there and missed the show completely. and maybe it's me, but i thought i saw a ladyboy there.

that movie with that william h macy's wife in it about trannies and alexis arquette being on "the surreal life" and that one show on sundance with the girls who were becoming guys with thicker mustaches than me have really changed peoples' perspectives and perceptions. i swear to goodness, i'm seeing more and more transgender people out and about.

all right, so i was reading in the la times yesterday and it was the my favorite section of the times, 'my favorite weekend,' and this week's installment was with the slashtress molly sims and during the thing, she mentioned that she has a teepee in her backyard. a 14 feet tall teepee in her fucking backyard, where she goes to hang out and read on the weekends and sometimes, she'll camp out in there. if that didn't blow your mind, then i have no clue as to what will. i can imagine somebody like val kilmer and darrly hannah having and living in a teepee cause they're the granola, back to nature type, but molly sims, the chick that used to host "house of style" hangs out in a teepee. i want to see photos. and i believe that the person from the la times rang up the wrong molly sims. a teepee, really? when i first read that she reads books i was blown away, but in a teepee, that's taking it to whole other level.

Apr 13, 2006

until i collapse aka fate



ever wonder if mandy moore is one of those people like myself who hate to be touched. granted an army of people shouting and yelling at you to pose a particular way would make anybody go nuts and dennis quaid looks rather sketchy; like partying with oj and doc gooden until 5 in the morning skethcy, so naturally, one wouldn't want to be touched by him, per say. but you know, marica gay harden isn't so bad. she seems clean. i dunno, mandy moore is a big germopha or something.


or maybe zach braff is so over protective that he gets upset if even respected characters actors like jennifer coolridge rubs her on the back while posing together. i dunno but i think zach braff could go off like nicholson in that scene from the classic carnal knowledge, you know the one they play on stern all the time.

worst box sets in the history of dvds, ever. and what the heck? why is malick's the thin red line included in the george clooney pack? he's in that movie for like 1 minute or so. you put the thin red line in the jim chavezil pack.

i don't even know where to begin, people. the past couple of days have been days where you just throw your hands up in the air and simply say, "chicks, man. chicks." even though, they're only a small part of the problem. and you're so frayed and weathered that not even watching raging bull while chanting under one's breath, "did you fuck my wife?" and listening to the first bad brains album can calm you down. really, it's not chicks, but it's the fucking 5 freeway. i can never wrapp my head around the fact that people still to this very day freak out when it comes from 4 lanes to 3 lanes in la mirada on the 5 north. yes, people will have one less lane, but it still doesn't mean, it's the end of the world. we can still cruise around at 65 without getting our hair musted up. and what's so flippin' important that caltrans can't build an additional lane on both sides of the freeway? what, it's going to cut down on the traffic to costume castle? cause they're so scary busy in august, right? you know, we're going to be paying 4 dollars at the pump this summer, so give me the pipedream california that maybe, just maybe some of the taxes from my gas money is going to improve traffic in southern california, not some bullshit road in baskersfield that nobody uses. you know, just in general, i don't understand drivers in california. i'm in the first lane, where we're supposed to be driving some what fast, yet we're at a stand still cause there's jam at the exit for angel stadium. now, if this affected the people in the fast lane, i'd understand, but we're like 3 lanes away and we should be going 70 miles, not 50. jeepers creepers. i don't understand the concept of being a lookie lou on the freeway; we all have nowhere really that important to get too, but we all want to get there in a hurry, so let's not dick around and watch some dude in dolphin shorts run around the shoulder picking up pieces of something that fell out of the back of truck. let's move that bus and get where we need to be. let's do the looking around at where we're suppose to be. let's park the car, then look across the street and see an army of elementary school kids on spring break playing with golf clubs, and then let's move the car far as humanly possible away from those kids even if they're hitting eggs.

better update on friday, i swear.

a word to the wise, for those who missed it the first time around, my personal favorite episode of "the (american) office", "the dundies" penned by one mindy kaling is on tonight. its very necessary.

if you haven't already gotten that dfa remix album yet, here's another reason why, the dfa remix of hot chip's "(just like we) breakdown". god damn. loved it the first time i heard on the prettiest pony and i'll probably love it even more if i was cruising around some beach city, late at night with the windows down action.

and finally, i want to leave you with something shocking. people, over the past couple of weeks, i've grown to like tucker carlson. granted, i live in orange county, but i haven't been brainwashed by some sassy blonde girl decked in hollister gear. no, no, people. i've grown to like tucker carlson cause i heard him on the btls and basically, the dude, while being extreme conversative, is still a regular dude who thinks bush is full of shit and probably a big fan of boobies as well. carlson isn't really that guy that jon stewart called an asshole a yeaar or two ago. do i agree with all of his points and beliefs, no, i don't, but he's making a decent and its rather entertaining, too. i dunno, you guys need to get sirius and just hear for yourselfs.

Apr 12, 2006

let's make like brit and bail

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this perhaps has to be the hottest celebrity playlist photo in the history of itunes. i'd say does mandy moore ever take a bad picture, but, i dunno. photoshop may be her buddy.

have you picked your copy of dfa remixes: chapter 1 yet? it's extremely necessary. sure, you could spend a couple of tooling around the peer to peer servers or you just drop 13 bucks and get all of the songs on one handy dandy cd or just hit up the itunes, you know. just buy the thing and seriously, it'll help you kick your ass while doing cardio at the gym. not that i, personally would know anything about working, but from what i've read in magazines and seen on the tv, high temp music helps burns those lbs.

i know, it's a short update today, and it's not from a lack of material; it's there, but it's not there, if you know what i mean? but i have to talk about what had to be the best episode of "8th & ocean" so far last night. we had briana being used to actually move a storyline along; she was more than comical relief, she was like obi wan kenobi and just dropping pearls of wisdom all over the place and at the same time, sort of coming onto sabrina, who by the looks of the outdoor lunch scene, one of them was having a lunch beer. a bold move and it didn't look like no light beer, either. so boom, right off the bat, it's heading into the classic zone, but these bastards cut to a scene between teddy and sean where they talk about chicks, man. i've said before that "8th & ocean" is sorta shot like a bergman film (take a film class or netflix it up, if you dont get the reference), but the camera people really went for the close up with that shot of teddy. i actually think they attached a dv cam to his face to get that shot. then there was that super rough zoom out on sean; so brilliant. and we haven't gotten to the best part of that scene, the actual conversation between sean & teddy. i don't even think that arthur miller, one of the great american playwrights could even write something that brilliant, that cutting, and most importantly, that funny. i had to watch it a couple of times to soak it all in. did anybody else notice that once sabrina started to do well, kelly's hair seemed darker than before? we always knew kelly was the evil twin cause sabrina wears glasses and girls who wear glasses..., but i mean they're really doing it; making kelly visually the evil, mean twin. that headset lady didn't freak out, which sucked, but we had that one model's walk of shame out of teddy's room.

Apr 11, 2006

elevated to throw some fists


its official, dudes, kristin, a girl from "laguna beach" has gone insane. i'd assume that doing in stores and personal apperances would drive any person insane, but this so soon? who would've thunk it? then again, having to still hang out with a guy named talan that used to be engaged to the mostly useless daughter of rod stewart(she was good in an episode of "undeclared") would drive anybody to the brink of insanity. uf, imagine the conversations that must go on about auditions they recently went to and some new technique they learned in acting class the other night. that must be as bad and as awful as listening to somebody talk about their script.

the new pretty girls make graves album out today; also in store at amoeba sunset. i'm on the fence about going; only because i have to do work for school and i can't find anybody to go with me. apparently, i talk about my script, too much, but it's been far too long since i've seen pretty girls make graves. man, i used to see them every time they were in southern california, but nowadays, it's like, eh, i gotta catch up on "deadwood".

here's the thing about "24," that i sorta realized on last night's episode, jack bauer is saving los angeles once again, but he's doing it while wearing a man purse. the whole time, he's been wearing that thing and you would think after 18 or so straight hours of wearing that thing, one would think it would begin to wear on the back and become more a hinderance than a beneficial item to carry around. granted that it's a lovely thing to you know, hold some sandwiches and guns, but it still has that stigma of being a man purse. which leads me to another point, why do i need to see the new mission impossible movie when we have jack bauer saving the world while dressing like a dude from rock kills kid. you know fuck that thom cruise dude. and i don't know about most of you, but doesn't it seem like most of the shows that jj abrahams lincoln has been involved with have had only one good season. "felicity," well, you know what, i just watched for a single season and then i realized, what the fuck am i doing. "alias," the first season was great, but you know, it got really boring and repeative. "lost," well, that shit is sinking down the tubes than i don't know what. and the point, if i do have one to make, is this, i'm thinking that this new mission impossible has maybe got one solid hour of entertainment to it, then the rest of it is a confusing, boring mess where it's revealed that tom cruise isn't really a spy, but a patient in an asylum whose made it all and he's also pregnant with michael vartan's kid. weird, i know, but i'm just looking at the track record.

back to "24" for a minute, that episode was amazing and each week, it just gets better and better and better and it leaves you standing in front of your tv with clinched fist, shaking, wishing it was monday. thats weird thing. now, i look forward to mondays, simply cause, nine times out of ten, new stern in the morning and a new "24" at night. the new symptoms for having a case of the mondays is laughing alot and running around, holding finger guns shouting something about homeland security always fucks things up.


i know that pink & that other guy hit it big by placing captions on photos and clearly, this picture has nothing to do with that statement, but you know, if i were to do captions, it'd be like, "hey, who farted?" or you know, "hey jess, you shouldn't wear white when you have a really heavy flow." you know stupid shit like that, but what's weird is when you watch tv and there are shows on tv that are placing captions over photographs. there's the show on vh1 called, celebrity eye candy, which for the most part, is just photos with moving, wacky captions and videos. and e!'s "daily 10" also does the caption thing and you know, if we're gonna poke fun at celebs on tv by showing pictures of them doing stupid shit, then let's just bring back "celebrities uncensored" okay? let's not fuck around anymore. let's see the poorly shot footage of ashlee simpson goofing on with her boyfriend in where ever famous people hang out; let's see more footage of a drunken alexis arquette leaving with a club with andy dick clinging all over her. let's do that on tv; no captions. nobody reads while they're watching tv unless they're watching a foreign film or something from england; you know, subtitles. let's have some announcer make the goofy comment. or even have more fun with it and edit all of the footage of drunk celebrities to the ruff ryders' classic, "down bottom"

i don't want to blow any minds and/or covers, but the 'young' wife on that bravo show about coto dea caza isn't really 24. she's 26. sorry charlie. i have a friend who lives behind the gates and gave me the full blown iggy on the show. if i watched the show, i would've remembered all of the details, but i don't.

has anybody actually ever seen jonathan products? i see that he has them and forces his employees to use it; well, any saloon, they probably make use whatever product they have alot of, but has anybody actually bought a jonathan antin haircare product? there was a sephora when i was at the mall the other day looking for sneakers and i wanted to go in there to see jonathan product for myself, perhaps, even cry a bit, then dance to my pussycat dolls ringtone, but i just couldn't do it. you know, i feel weird going into sephora. so somebody else has to do the heavy lifting for me. killer, thanks.

don't forget new 8th & ocean tonight. i'm not going to go out on a limb and say that one lady will go nuts over sabrina cause from the looks of it, her skin has cleared up and she's put on her best man trapping outfit. what i will say is this, sean will, of course, say something profoundly poetic and interesting. fuck bono winning a nobel peace prize, give it to sean, dudes.

further related: christa t of what's the story, morning glory? has crafted a drink game for "8th & ocean," it can be found here; good lookin' out.


and finally, i'm now discovering that the album, "who will cut our hair when we're gone?" by the unicorns was quite polarizing. i'm running into people who weren't fans of it and i'm apparently the guy in the corner with rose colored glasses, just in love over the whole thing. that album is an album that'll permentaly be stuck in my head. and well, the same has to be said about the album, "return to the sea," by islands. i can't exactly pinpoint what it is about nick diamonds and his lyrics; it's sorta like a professor of mine once said about david lynch and his work; they're personal for him and you're not suppose to know why, yet, somehow we, or at least an audience has managed to connect passionately with the work of lynch and the same can be said about diamonds and j'aime tambeur's music. it's insanely personal, but dettached enough to not be labeled as personal or the dread introspective. "return to the sea" is just a solid album from start to finish and probably, so far, my second favorite album of the year, right behind "fishscale" by ghostface, naturally.

Apr 10, 2006

little bones


clearly distraught, if not even bedraggled over not being considered one of the hot 100 according to fhm and its readers, rachel b has started to cruise around the boutiques and speciality stores of los angeles county without any pants on, scratching her crotch but she's managed to continue to keep a tight and solid shoe game going. i don't know about you, but cruising around with no pants on is pretty hot in my book. way hotter than a kate hudson carrying a farting toddler.

perhaps, you've came to this conclusion already, but i just came to it the other day while i was eating sandwiches at lee's and they have a couple of tvs on. one had cnn headlines and the other had fox news. my eyes bounced back and forth between the two sets like a tennis ball; although, mostly focused on cnn cause fox news was talking about natalee holloway and while i was surprised to see somebody other than nancy grace talking about the case. anyways, my eyes bounced over to fox during a news update and i saw some of the reporters, julia banderas and i was taken back for a moment cause you know, for a slightly legit news network, julia banderas was a little bit of all right, but then i noticed since it was a high def tv, that julia banderas wears too much make up. then i remembered the last place i've been with women who look good for afar, but upon closer inspection, if you touched their face, it'd look like all the colors of the rainbow and that place was hooters. now this is based soley on my experinces at hooters and how i've never seen a hot girl working at hooters, but for you, it could be another stiuation. i'm just saying that fox news is like the hooters of journalism. it's an attempt to refined, but we all know it's tacky and kind of a joke.

well, there goes my theory that jack bauer is gonna die at the end of this season of "24". i was a fan of that rumor of ed norton as the new guy saving the world. i mean, they still can do that, have ed norton save the world; like he could pop up and team up with jack bauer for 5 or 6 hours and get like shot while in the middle of a gun fight with whatever terrorists they're fighting that season. i'm hoping for one season that the terrorist threat is from a survivalist group in middle america and they cast t-bag from "prison break".

speaking of "prison break," it's a show that's good but is not living up to its potential. it's a show that could be great; perhaps, it was the long break inbetween episodes so fox could continue on with the washed up celebrities competing against each other fad, but i think the biggest problem with that show has to be robin tunney. she has to be the worst actress i've ever seen and i've sat in a couple of auditions. and you can't watch an episode of the show because you're worrying when robin tunney is going to show up, sigh and talk really slow. yeah, she's talking in legal mumbo jumbo, but she still can pick up the pace a bit.

perhaps robin tunney needs to hang out with the cast of "so notorious" cause they can talk really fast, but they have the ablity to actually not really say anything. like the three minutes i suffered through of "so notorious," felt like a combination of the high pitch noises from dolphins who are scaring tyra banks, who in response to the dolphins has decided to scratch like the shit out of the world's longest chalkboard and tyra is starting from top to bottom without any pregnant pauses or anything of that nature. i have to wonder who exactly is the audience for this show? has anybody been asking, "you know, whatever happened to that torri spelling? i haven't seen her on lifetime in a while." vh1 has created a niche out of celeb reality shows, so why do a sit com thats loosely based on a person's real life. isn't hogan knows best phoney enough for them?


the second best part of "big love," ginnifer goodwin opens up on margene; seriously, i'm just waiting for the clip show episode where they rip off "the simpsons" and do a montage of all the times actors were filmed from behind either in their underwear or sans pants. although, i hope to goodness that we never see harry dean stanton without pants on; that'd be bad news bears. although, it would be a bit of fun if he did say, "more juice, please".

i'm going to sign off on only half of that new dip set, duke da god album. too much 40 cal, but i do apperciate how all the cam, rugger rell, and jr writer are pretty much right after each other. the remixes of "it's nothing" & "grill 'em" are extrermely nice. wait, i do like that line 40 cal has about "saved by the bell" on "getting money" but other than that, i have yet to be wowed by 40 cal. more max b, please, roman grant style.


i think rachel b is so bedraggled cause whenever she tries to record the new season of "wonder showzen," the ending gets cut off cause mtv has to pump in all the ads they can for "fired up! 3" featuring all those useless extended dance remixes of songs you could give two shits about. although, fired up! 4 is gonna have the mega dance mix of that one song from brokeback moutain on it. have to say though, that this season of "wonder showzen," very good.

word to the wise, if you're trying to find a copy of brokeback mountain and the store you go to, is sold out, seriously, dudes, hit up, wal mart. there's bound to be many copies there.

Apr 7, 2006

when there's a will, there's a way out.


testing out a new feature here, the tyra show fan of the week. she just seems so happy to be at a taping of "tyra," and if anybody has ever been to a taping, you most certainly know that by the time, the cameras finally start to roll, you're anything but excited to be there. you're there two hours before anything happens, then an audience cordinator puts you in one line, then you go somewhere and form another line, then you sit down for 45 minutes while some warm up comic tries to pump you and you've give all you can give to the warm up guy cause he gives away free stuff, but its cheesy stuff; like mugs and shirts from the show. i have two mugs from the late late show with craig kilborn to prove it. and by the time, the thing actually starts to go, you're ready to leave and head over to amoeba cause it's near by. yet, this woman is still happy and really excited to be at a taping of "tyra" and this was an episode about weird phobias and she wasn't there to make fun of the people either; she seems generally concerned that the woman beats her fear of styrofoam and take that diamond necklace.

related; i have far too many weird & unusual phobias to mention here, but i still have to laugh at the people on "tyra" with their fears of garden gnomes. everybody in the world is fearful of something; its just that some people are little more open and honest about their weirdness.

so spielberg's reality show about filmmaking sounds exactly like "project greenlight," cept it doesn't cover the best and the worst part of making a film, production and the public votes on who gets a production deal? i dunno. an "american idol" for film; sure, it'll give alot of people a break and its going to be talk at film school the next couple of weeks, but i dunno; it just seems boring. and this just reeks of desperation to find a populist filmmaker; it's a built in excuse for executives if the winner of said contest actually makes a full length; it's sorta like that "mr show" sketch, 'coupon: the movie,' people loved coupon, so they should've loved the movie.' people voted for these guys as their american moviemaker idol, so they should've seen the movie.' and each week, it's a new genre; which is kinda shitty since most successful directors pretty much work in the same genre their whole career like spielberg whose been making movies that moms love with no ending for the last 12 years. i dunno, i'm probably wrong, but all i know is that they should have damon packard on the show as a contesent because that guy needs a large forum and even he's voted off after the first week, he'll have enough exposure to make his opus. you see thats the problem with the show, the people that may make interesting films that aren't cookie cutter; that you know are a bit derivative of wong kar wai and david fincher, they'll be out in a heartbeat

there was a soundtrack to the "girls gone wild" videos and the girl that's not really famous and not hot enough to be a real playmate that's on the new season of "surreal life" is on the cover? it can currently be found in your finer car wash gift shops; for some mildly nsfw action of that girl from "surreal life" go here, but her message board is more entertaining; on par with a riley martin call on the stern show.


mikhail s. gorbachev and terri hatcher are now going out. i wonder what ryan seacrest and his 'metro' serial killer bread think of this? i know that i can't grow a bread, yet i still do, but i'm not on tv 8 million times a week, so why is seacrest growing the bread or is the guy a wolf man and he's been spending too many nights over at terri hatcher's house and he doesn't feel comfortable leaving an overnight bag at her place? does fred segal make this type of product? the "i'm having sex with a star of "desperate housewives" bag? i thought that one dude with the weird eye borrows that used to be on the show would've made it a consistent seller. also, and i know this is a shocker of a statement, but hollywood is too into giving its self awards.

did you guys catch "lost" this week? skip down, if you haven't seen it yet, but and a big but, may i add, don't even bother. i'm officially done with "lost". doesn't even matter if a constant flow of new episodes, i'm done. to quote the words of john laroche, "fuck fish". i understanding what they're doing by throwing in the monkey wrench of "maybe, this whole show is in the head of a crazy person" angle, but if the island turns out to be nothing but the figment of a fat man's mind, then i want my money for the season 1 dvd box set i purchased back. wasted time is wasted time and that never can be paid back, but i mean, it's such a cop out for the show to potentially go that route. well, let's face facts, any ending they go with on "lost," is going to be disapointing to a degree unless you're a superfan. but the biggest problem with the show isn't the direction its going in, well, maybe it is, but i don't know, how to put this, but the show has gotten really boring and charlie is dropping too many zingers and there are too many characters. "lost" needs to off a few characters like charlie and claire, bring back michael and more importantly, bring back walt. right now, the flashback episode about walt being kidnapped and michael fighting his way through the jungle to find walt is the most compelling storyline that we're not seeing. i don't need an episode where the doctor and sawyer play poker; i don't care that libby and hurley were in the same insane asylum together; who cares if sun is preggers; we already have enough phantom preggers people in the world; where is michael searching for walt? we probably won't get that episode until the end of the season because the writers are still figuring out exactly how a bunch of reformed 'ben & jerry' esque hippies tormeting other hippies on a desert island works into everybody else's storyline, but you know, it's like always say, one of these day it'll make sense, but will it be interesting? who knows cause i'll probably be sleep cause charlie has another zinger up his shelve.

anybody else losing the fun they once had for "my name is earl"? all i'm saying is that it's venturing towards "family guy" terrority with their jokes. and yes, that "south park" was dead on with their slam against "family guy".

for those needing a "the (american) office" fix, check out their phony psas; personal favorite is this one.

yeah that islands album is pretty awesome and i have that song with subtitle on it on repeat like half the time.