&t skeet on mischa: Futterman's Rule

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Aug 22, 2007

Futterman's Rule


All of these remakes of John Carpenter films remind me of a line from “The Simpsons.” Homer Simpson said it best when he said, “Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.” You know, let the John Carpenter movies be John Carpenter movies and let other filmmakers do their own original projects. I’ll probably check out Rob Zombie’s upcoming reworking of Halloween because I think Zombie understands the concept of doing a remake; bringing a fresh and interesting take on the old material. But at the same time, why couldn’t he turn his fresh spin on a John Carpenter classic into an entire original full-length script? I’ve seen bits and pieces of House of 1000 Corpses and it was okay. Nice cinematography, but I just wasn’t into it. The Devil’s Rejects, on the other hand is a masterpiece despite having moments straight out of the Marenghi/Learner playbook (“Anything that wasn’t dialogue was open to being put in slow motion.”). Zombie is a solid filmmaker, but instead of doing a remake, why not give the money so Rob Zombie can make his own picture or at least restore the print of the original Halloween film.

Reading Jeffrey Welles’ piece about the recent restoration of The Godfather, it seems like a good idea to check out the quality of the negative for the Carpenter masterpiece. I know that it takes money to do a proper to preserve these prints and most for people, it seems that a nice HD transfer and remastering on DVD is a decent way to save a film. Even on HD, the viewer is not really watching the film the way it was meant to be seen. The audience is supposed to experience the film projected onto a large screen with an amazing sound system and an audience. Yes, film is a singular experience; everybody has their own personal relationship with it, but sometimes watching films with an audience enhances the experience just a bit. So instead of investing money in a needless remake of Escape From New York, why not spend a couple of bones on restoring the negative and saving it for future generations to discover how bad ass Kurt Russell used to be.

Or are studios remaking these films as a way to preserve them for future generations? Is it a better investment to spend a couple of million on finding the writer, then paying the writer for the first draft, then the series of notes, then another draft, then another bunch of notes, then maybe a new writer, then out to directors and who knows what else? Of course with the impending strike, this particular timetable is speed up about one billion times faster. Then there’s the casting, locations, special effects, etc, etc. Yet at the end of the day, with a brand new film, one can make a profit where as with a beautiful restored print of John Carpenter’s The Thing, there’ll be a couple of screenings at the New Beverly and the DVD re-release. Yeah, DVD is a moneymaker, but with a new film, they are good for at least a couple of DVD re-releases before the natives starting getting restless.

Or maybe, I’m just upset by the fact that Kate Beckinsale’s husband is going to direct the remake of Escape From New York. I’ve never seen any of his films, but from the footage I’ve seen of his work, he seems like a real safe choice. Just style for days. You know, why not let John Carpenter movie be John Carpenter movies.

It should be noted that there are few thing that you can count on in this world, but you should be able to count on the following two things: One: There’ll always be a line from the first ten seasons of “The Simpsons” that can be related to any life situation. And secondly, any female you met between the ages of 18 and 25 will have undying love and affection for Mandy Moore. You can always count on that.

Defamer has footage of Mary Kate Olsen on “Weeds. I don’t know, but my faith and hope in the show will continue because the first two episodes of the new season have been so solid. It’s stunt casting to a certain extent, but “Weeds” is a good enough that it doesn’t need stunt casting.

For all of the iPhone users out there; the few, the proud, the impulsive, may I suggest investing in a blue tooth head set. Yes, you’ll look like a robot and while driving people who only see your left profile will think you’re absolutely nuts, but at least your screen won’t be as greasy. The screen is going to get dirty naturally if you’re busy typing a text or e-mail while drinking a espererro mint chip from Coffee Bean, but come on how gross does the phone after you’ve been talking on it? My phone looked like a wrapper from McDonalds after I used the thing. Granted, I’m a sweaty guy, but it’s still possible to save the phone. Use a headset. It’s easier to drive and talk if one has to absolutely drive and talk. It’s a device that enables one to multi task. The other day, I was talking with one friend and sending text messages to another and checking my e-mail. I think the Edge network blew up, but still, it’s possible to do all of these things. The Edge network is a joke.


Oh, T.Lee! Will you ever learn?


Hand to god, I’ve never seen an “High School: The Musical” nor it’s sequel. I have however seen it on the news, you know, E! News Daily and I have to come to the conclusion that one of the girls from it is hot and I’ve done the legal research and it’s okay to say that she’s hot. Yet it still feels wrong to say so, you know?

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