&t skeet on mischa: 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007

skeet on mischa

i wouldn't have given you it if i didn't agree

Sep 28, 2007

Our Hell Part 2

There was a moment the other day when I could've been an extra on an episode of that "Caveman" TV show. Not really an extra per say, but just some one who happened to be walking in an area where they happened to be filming. Like I would've been in the very back of the shot. Completely out of focus and out of mind. Yet I would've known that it was me in the background of that show wearing a ratty old cardigan. I would've had to live with the secret shame that I was on that show. Instead, I just waited until they finished the shot. The crew guys asked me if I was shy, to which I explained that I didn't want to be on TV, which is partially true. I don't want to be TV. I've already been on TV and wearing much more awful clothing than I was wearing that particular day. Somewhere there exists video of myself wearing a stink pink polo chatting with Ryan Seacrest about George W. Bush. Okay, so I have to live with that the rest of my life. I don't need anymore secret shame in my life. So, the crew talked to me a little bit more. Explaining that by simply walking through the shot, I wouldn't be a problem. It'd be totally cool. It was just I didn't have the heart to tell them I don't want to be on their show. I couldn't live with myself if I was on that show. Even if I was a blurry mess stomping out of frame as I was listening to Raewkon on my iPod. While I haven't heard the song, I'm assuming that the song, "Our Hell," by Emily Hanes & the Soft Skeletons is about a similar subject matter. Appearing on a gimicky sitcom as a background extra.

When I'm not writing, I feel really out of it or at least, when I've been writing a lot recently, then I sort of stop, then I feel really out of it. It's a great release to say the least. Then again, I feel out of it because I haven't been able to listen between three to four hours of the Howard Stern show the past two weeks. I know what else is going on in the world, but without hearing the foul mouthed one liners from a recovering heroin addicit, it's just not the same. I've made the effort to check out some of the new TV shows this season; it's just, I don't know....they're kind of boring. "Chuck," I wanted to like it. I did. I can't speak for you or the rest of America, but haven't we all grown tired of that form of storytelling or entertainment, if you will, where there's some loud pop song or cool & hip & edgy modern rock track to either take the audience in and out of a scene? I know that the music industry is strugggllinng and all, but don't we as an audience except more than that or even dare I say, more than this? Sure, if people dig the music on a show, they'll seek it out and plus one for those guys. Yet doesn't anybody else find it completely distracting to hear some big loud song at the start of the scene? What happened to letting the dialogue speak for its self and a show develop its own sense of cool? It's all force feeding cool and hipness down peoples' throats. In addition to creating false emotion. Producers and directors shouldn't be dependent upon the latest song by some British singer/songwriter to push the emotions in the scene. Directing, writing and above all else, acting should carry the emotion through the scene and story. So, going back to "Chuck," I tried to watch it the thing, but I just got too frustrated by all of the music cues. Maybe, I'm too old. Maybe, I'm too much of a music snob to apperciate hearing The Teddybears' "Cobra Style" at the start of every other scene. And the same goes for that show, "Reaper." Ray Wise as the Devil was cool and all, but "Twin Peaks" fans know that he can get crazier than that; way crazier than that. Everybody else on that show just bugs. From that main dude to that dime store Ethan Suplee, it just bugs. Maybe I'm not meant to watch cool and hip TV shows anymore. Perhaps, it's finally time to just sit and read my big, dense book about capitalism and how Milton Friedman's economic policy is similar to torture techniques used on denitees in GitMo. I still don't have a solid idea yet; I'm only 70 pages into it and I'm attempting to save the rest for my trip to the South in couple of weeks.

Me in the south, again. It's going to be weird, but sometimes, you just have to do certain things because there are people in your life that you care about them and you do things because you care about 'em. It's a hard lesson that has taken me a very long time to learn. And that's on "Someone Great" by LCD Soundsystem stuff.

Speaking of LCD Soundsystem, I went to that Arcade Fire/LCD Soundsystem show at the Hollywood Bowl a week ago and I have to say that LCD Soundsystem put on a better show. Then again, us intranet individuals have created such a unrelenting and unstoppable hype monster about Arcade Fire that it was hard to live to the hype for me. Yes, the Arcade Fire are a great band live. No question about it, but it just didn't connect with me. It should be noted that I never gave their new album a chance. A couple of songs worked for me, but on a whole, I like the first album more. So, maybe the fact that the set was mostly pulled from the new album could have explained why I wasn't blown away like other people have been in the past. Also, they didn't do "Crown of Love." Nuts to that, McCuilty. I mean, it's their best song and they didn't whatever. Also, it should be noted that the concert as a whole was slightly tainted because a small woman kept on singing "oooooohhhh" and saying, "I hope they do the song where they go 'oooooohhhh'." She said it in between every song. People were going to punch in the throat, I think. Even the dude she was on the verge of punting her across the bowl. And LCD Soundsystem pretty much gave the standard performance, which in other words means, beyond totally awesome. So imagine something being totally awesome, then taking it up about 11 notches on the awesome scale.

And that's about it for me. The seeing "Arrested Development" actors in real life count is up to 3 for me, how's about you?

Sep 18, 2007

Whoops, my bad. That's My Scenario

So, here's the deal. Things came up this week and for next week as well. So, maybe October, if that's cool with you. Now please enjoy the Grassroots' classic tune, "Let's Live For Today." If you look closely, you may see Creed from "The Office". I mean I don't even have the time to go to the book store to pick up a copy of "The Shock Doctrine".

PS. I'm in love with the Coathangers. Yeah, they sound a bit like local favorites Mika Miko, but there's something a little more interesting about them and they're from the ATL too. Now, I'm actually looking forward to my trip down south next month.

Sep 13, 2007

Bubb Rubb was right.

Is next week cool with you? Rad. I'm just too busy listening to Too $hort and Okkervil River, eating turkey sandwiches, and watching old movies the past couple of days. On top of that book report.

Sep 10, 2007

Home Girl

Would've written some stuff down tonight, but I have this book report that's do tomorrow morning and I'm kind of stumped on it. I didn't even walk it out today, so that may give you an indication of how serious things are today.

Although, I'll say that to say this, that TMZ TV show proves the theory that just cause a website gets seven million hits daily, doesn't mean it's going to be great TV or at least it's "Hard Copy" in snappier fonts for the "High School: The Musical" set.

And, I also strongly and sincerely believe that Richard Roeper should be replaced on "Ebert & Roeper at the Movies" by Miss Teen South Carolina. She could just read Roger Ebert's written reviews until he gets better and get that Scary Perry guy to be the other critic. It'd be so much better than the flirt fest between Roeper and that HD Net guy.

When Disco Killed The Funk Part 3

I didn’t need to watch the VMAs to know that Britney Spears who used to be a hot mess I found attractive turned into a hot mess who looks more like Brooke Hogan or one of those trannies hanging around Santa Monica Blvd into the wee hours of the morning (you know, whatever reference works best for you). Why doesn’t Britney just give up on the career and become another one of those Malibu trophy wives? There’s some Sultan or the weird son of Sultan out there that could use a trophy wife, right? Or maybe she should just move up to Oakland and hang out with Too $hort. Not to mention, who cares about the VMAs anymore? Ever since Axel quit showing up drunk and Krist Novoselic wasn’t throwing his bass up in the air, I haven’t been into it. Also, that was around the same time, MTV and me went separate ways in turns of music with exception to “120 Minutes.” Why isn’t the award show on YouTube this year because that’s how a majority of us watch videos these days. The only things I see on MTV these days are glamorous rich kids hanging out and Tyra Banks. That’s all I ever fucking see. Where’s their award show? Best On Screen in a Lightly Scripted Reality Drama? Biggest Boobs? (And no, Shauvon from “Real World: Sydney” would not win) Best Marathon of a Reality Series that has yet to produce America’s “Next Top Model”?

The real question that demands to be answered is what did I do in my life to this cruel and unjust punishment of having Tyra Banks in my life? It was okay when she was trying to be an actress and what not, but now, it’s getting unbearable. I really do think that I’m being punished for something I’ve done in my life. Sure as of late, I haven’t been keeping kosher, but after you’ve had the carnitas burrito from El Burrito JR, you try to keep to kosher, okay? And I know that I swear too much, but do I deserve to have a life filled with this monstrous woman and her unbearable sense of self worth? Maybe I’m not meant to campaign for Democratic presidential candidates? If I talk about how awesome Fred Thompson’s plans to save America is totally going to work, will she go away? I really do believe that America needs to invent some more shit in order to save us.

I know that’s a few days late and a couple of dollars short, but my theory about this whole Vanessa Hudgens scandal is this: I’m looking at the Geek Squad as the ones who leaked those photos. There’s a history of the Geek Squad stealing porn. And to be fair and balanced, I’ll throw some stones at the Apple Geniuses because nine times out of ten, those dudes can be dicks, too (Ah shit, I’m not going to get any help the next time I bring anything in to be fixed). It’s either them or that fat guy from “Drake & Josh.”

Slightly related, I kind of dig the show, “iCarly”. And no, I have not seen the new episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” yet. I’m currently without HBO and a DVR. So I have to wait until Tuesday. No “Weeds” tomorrow night either. It’s been extremely solid and funny. Here’s to hoping that Mary Kate Olsen doesn’t fuck it up. Hey, you know in hind sight, who would’ve been an edgier choice for that role? Vanessa Hudgens.

There was a large part of me that was dreading Shoot ‘Em Up. I didn’t want to get my hopes up like I did with Smokin’ Aces. If we go in the way back machine, some may recall that based on an amazingly well cut trailer that ran before Borat, I declared that Smokin’ Aces would be the savior of action films. Then came that film’s eventual release in January of this year and well, the less said, the better. I blew off the chance to go to a Sparrow Love Crew/Cold War Kids show to watch the film. Then again, those were the weird, confusing, sad, lonely days as well as days of confidentially agreements, so it could explain a lot of things. With Shoot ‘Em Up, I just kept my mouth shut because it had all the elements that I love about movies. Clive Owen and Clive Owen shooting stuff. And as we all know that Smokin’ Aces had people shooting stuff as well and it was even better because it was cut to a DJ Shadow jam. Then the on line movie geek community got behind the film and for me, that equals a bad sign. Yeah, I can quote lines from “The Simpsons” with the best of them, but whenever the “geek movie gods” dig something, I have the opposite reaction. Perhaps, I don’t want to be labeled as a geek or if a film gets their stamp of approval, I expect something a lot ‘cooler’ from it. And naturally, the fear and dread became to creep in, but I bit the bullet.

As I was watching Shoot ‘Em Up, I started to think that I was the only one in the theater who was actually enjoying the film. Yet by the time, the end credits started to run, the audience was clapping and laughing and cheering. Part of me wants to call Shoot ‘Em Up one of the best films of the year, but part of me says that a film like this is an acquired taste. This is a film that one is either going to love to death or hate every single frame of it. I loved it because it’s roughly 85 minutes of Clive Owen being cool, dropping one-liners every couple of minutes and just insane action sequences. Yeah, I had a couple of problems with the film, but it didn’t take away from my overall enjoyment. Shoot ‘Em Up is a giant live action Bugs Bunny cartoon with sly nods to the works of John Woo & the Coen Brothers. The only problems that I had with the film were the use of CGI blood as opposed to practical effects and the music. I know that Courtney Love has got to eat and pay her phone bill so she could blame Steve Coogan for more things he didn’t do, but would Kurt Cobain really want his song to be used in an action film?

The whole point of this blog other than to document my inability to function with society, is to be a walking contradiction of its self. I sort of implied a few paragraphs ago that nobody cares about music videos anymore or at least if we do care about them, we watch them in a real shitty flash video format. With that said though, I think if Ed Banger was ever to do a video for the Justice song, “Phantom” or “Phantom Part 2,” it needs to be a live concert footage video but with a twist. Instead of the regular cool kids in their early 90s nostalgia gear, just reuse crowd footage from old heavy metal videos. The “Phantom” series for dance music, is pretty metal. Dudes in denim jackets with huge patches on the back going nuts would be pretty awesome. Cut in some clips of hipsters in the parking lot like Heavy Metal Parking Lot and you got yourself a VMA right there, if they still give away awards for that kind of thing.

Does anybody know when Roger Ebert is coming back and taking back his TV show? Richard Roeper’s reign of terror needs to be stopped. Roeper lacks a passion for cinema that Siskel had in spades and Ebert has in spades as well. And thanks to their on line review archives, I’m realizing that I’m more of a Gene guy despite his unrelenting dislike of David Lynch. Yet Gene makes valid and interesting points about why he doesn’t like Lynch. Roeper would just make some goofy face and say it’s just dumb if he doesn’t like it. And these guest critics, there’s no fight. Fuck the fact that they’re guests, mix shit up. That’s the problem, Roeper lacks passion about the films he likes or I’m completely missing his passion in the reviews.

Sep 5, 2007

The Smiths VS The Cure

The best thing about the intranet right now has to be Diplo’s free mix for Pitchfork. It’s the next best thing to seeing Diplo DJ live (for those in Southern California, Diplo is going to be at the wonderful Echoplex on the 21st with Switch, get tickets here) and if the dude hasn’t made it out to your neck of the woods or if for some god for saken reason, you have something allegedly “more important” than seeing Diplo (like a family member’s wedding or hanging out with Artie Lange are good excuses for missing Diplo). Download the mix and rush out and see him & Switch when they’re in town. Dude, they’re gonna play some Santogold jams, some random house records, some random commercial rap records, and probably some Justice remixes. In other words, you’ll lose some weight from excessive dancing and your minds and probably your pants.

Other great things about the intranet are:
-The “I Like Turtles” kid.
-Charlyne Yi’s Man on the Street interviews
-CHUD’s extensive coverage of the cluster fuck known as the strike films.
-Hollywood Elsewhere
-The Passion of the Weiss

Get stoked. Sacha Baron Cohen’s Bruno goes into production. Sweet, but it’s a bit of a bummer that he’s not going to film during spring break.

In case anybody is wondering, that TMZ TV show will not be affecting airing of “The Simpsons” on channel 11. We, the audience are getting one less episode of “Malcolm in the Middle,” which is a great thing.

I took Spanish for four years straight in junior high and my first two years of high school, but I can’t remember a single thing from those classes. I think I took my final Spanish final while listening to Bjork on headphones in the back of the room. If I remembered any of that, I think I would be able to enjoy shows like “Jose Luis Sin Censura” and “Estudio 2” on a whole other level. I mean, what’s there not to like about Spanish television? It’s all one big variety show. Sexy dancing girls, check. Hilarious dwarves dressed as pop culture figures, check. Stereotype based humor and characters, check. And “Jose Luis” takes it up a notch by featuring scary girls in Raiders gear that want to beat up all of the female guests. It’s a perfect form of entertainment, but there’s just little thing known as the language barrier. Part of me believes that if myself and Robin Brown continued our public access show and spoke Spanish, we could’ve had a successful career in Spanish television. I wish more TV was like “Estudio 2,” you know, a dwarf comes out dressed up as Ghost Rider and starts to smack the audience around then lets out a giant mobster out of a cage who removes a horrible singer from the stage. How great would American Idol would be with that? Or if on an episode of “The Hills,” Heidi ran into some female Raiders fans with pencil thin eye borrows? Totally rad would be the best word to describe it.

Sep 4, 2007

Los Tigres del Norte VS Los Broncos del Norte

Writing or saying negative things about Rob Zombie’s John Carpenter’s Halloween is a lot like poop shoots. Everybody has one. Rob Zombie’s John Carpenter’s Halloween wasn’t made for the people who worship the John Carpenter original. It’s not a film made for people who can appreciate subtle scares and a steady shot. Rob Zombie’s Halloween was made for the MySpace generation. The kids who grew up with the Jigsaw Killer as their Jason & Fredies and claim that Eli Roth’s Hostel is their favorite film. Zombie made a film that ultimately serves as white noise while people exchange text messages with each other, but packs enough blood and cheap scares to keep them interested. Or at least until they get another text message.

Before writing my thoughts on Halloween, I went back and watched Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects, a film that made it onto my top ten list of 2005 and discovered one thing. All the things that I loved about The Devil’s Rejects were all the things that I hated about the Halloween reimagining. The cameos and casting of horror icons works extremely well in TDR where as in Halloween, it becomes down right distracting. I believe that Devin Faraci in his review said it best when he said that the casting in the film gives the impression that it was filmed during lunch breaks at Comic Con. It’s gimmicky, but at the same time, what point does it serve? Rob Zombie probably has a solid working relationship with a lot of these actors from his previous films, yet the question remains: are the kids who this film was made for going to appreciate a split second cameo by Udo Kier or even the extended cameo by Brad Dourif? I’m a minor fan of Brad Dourif, but it took me a couple of scenes to realize it was him and by then, he was gone from the film all together.

As I was watching the film, I started to believe that Zombie is the Splat Pack’s version of Quentin Tarantino. Tarantino populates his films with actors from the films that he loves and generally lifts plot points from and Zombie is no different as a filmmaker (Not to mention, Zombie’s fetish for guys with long hair is pretty bad as Tarantino’s feet thing), but it’s going to become a hindrance on his career. I know that it’s his wife and all, but for his best interest, Rob Zombie needs to stop using his wife or at least give her just small, very small roles. Yes, Sheri Moon Zombie is hot and makes for a great psychopath in TDR, but as a mother in Halloween, it’s painful. In addition, if Zombie steps away from his troop of actors (not every director can have a troop of actors as strong as Preston Strurges did), he’ll be forced to step out of the box in terms of his dialogue. Yeah, every character in TDR screaming “Fuck this,” and “Motherfuck that” works, but in Halloween, it just becomes too goofy. I was extremely surprised that the baby in the opening breakfast scene didn’t say “fuck”.

Then there’s the cinematography and editing which in other words means shake the camera all over the place so any action taking place is undistinguishable with a cherry on top known as awful lighting then cut the scene to shreds, so it’s completely unwatchable. Or maybe put a rock song from the 70s over the footage and create a zippy montage. The film’s biggest laugh comes from what I want to assume that Zombie would be an emotional high point: the infamous & dread “Love Hurts” montage. An overplayed song by the great Gram Parsons is supposed to convey the suffering a ticking time bomb is feeling because nobody would take him out trick or treating? Yes, horror films are largely successful due to its score and sound effects, but the way Zombie uses music in the film is too on the nose. American audiences are in the midst of a great “duh-duh” period, but come on, give the audience more credit than that. Also, thanks in large to the editing, I had no clue what was happening during the film’s climax. The footage looked murky and the editing was just all over the place. It looks and feels uninspired and mostly likely because it was one of the many sequences that were re shot in early July. The blog, Horror Movie A Day compares the leaked work print cut and the theatrical cut here.

It’s just an uninspired mess of a film that wants it both ways. It wants to humanize Michael Myers as a kid with a shitty upbringing, but it also wants him to be a super human kill machine. It wants to Laurie Strode to be the innocent, nice girl, but she just seems like a punching bag for her friends (It should be noted that Scout Taylor-Compton was one of three things I liked about the film) And for those who’ve been keeping score here over the last couple of years know that I’m a fan of nudity in film, but there’s one sequence in the film that goes beyond bad taste and exploitation. Granted, it’s nowhere as awful as Heather Matarazzo’s death scene in Hostel: Part 2, but it’s certainly up there. And oddly, I didn’t leave the theater angry or upset like I did after watching like Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake. Maybe I hold Dawn of the Dead a bit closer to my heart or Zombie’s film just bummed me out. Bummed me out because film executives were unwilling to let an emerging filmmaker do something original and unique. Bummed me out because somebody is doing another shitty remake of a John Carpenter film (fingers crossed that they never think of re-doing Jack Burton’s adventures on the good ole Pork Chop express). It’s just a bummer, man.

I don’t know who deserves the hype more: the band, A Place to Bury Strangers after getting that review on Pitchfork or this girl who had her digital camera stolen? After listening to a couple of songs by A Place to Bury Strangers and seeing that girl’s stolen NSFW pictures, I think that the girl rightfully and deservedly earns the hype. I’m not a fan of fake boobs, but that girl makes it work as if Tim Gunn told her to. Where as that A Place to Bury Strangers, I dunno. Whispery lyrics, lots of feedback, really slow. Been there, been done by eight million other bands. I guess I can’t go to Brooklyn now though since I like nice boobs as opposed to local boys making noisy, boring rock music.

A friend of mine lives in Oakland and he’s afraid to mention that he doesn’t like certain Bay Area rappers because he doesn’t know how people are going to react.

Courtney Love is a giant piece of shit that the world is better off without and she should learn to keep her mouth shut especially on matters that one would assume be a sensitive issue to her given what happened to her first husband, but apparently, it doesn’t fucking matter as long as her name is back out in the media. You know drag somebody’s name through the mud because she wants to be in US Weekly for something other than being a fat piece of shit who can’t stay sober and probably and thankfully never actually had a hand in raising her child. Leave Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan alone and crawl into a hole where nobody will ever hear from you again. Okay, that was a little mean, but I feel better now that I vented.

A bunch of films screened at the Venice & Telluride Film Festival the past couple of days. Read the reviews of: The Darjeeling Limited, The Assaniation of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Margot at the Wedding and Juno. I read the script for Juno a few months back and wasn’t that impressed by it. It had a bit of a hipper than thou attitude to it. I don’t know. Maybe it’ll work better on screen, then again, I don’t have that strong of a sense of humor.

I learned that from a party that I went to over the weekend. I was talking to three people that I’ve never meet before in my life and I only made one of them laugh. Apparently jokes about how iPhones don’t impress girls and calling a guy who looks like Crispin Glover “Jingle Dell” won’t make the girls laugh, but it did make a struggling actor crack up. I was told by the girls to make more references to “Laguna Beach” in my jokes. I was going to go into the kitchen and work on a new routine, but then I got tired and upset that somebody drank all of the Stella Artois I brought to the party; I only had two and then it disappeared. Lousy hipsters.

Then again, my goal for that evening was to only speak in quotes from Superbad, but it was weird. There were people who hadn’t seen it yet. I just bombarded my friend with texts of quotes from the film and to tell them to her friend, but it turns out that my friend’s friend hadn’t seen the film either. Thank goodness, I didn’t wear my Chik Chik Yeah t-shirt or any other of these random Superbad t-shirts.

It’s probably not that tough or macho to say, “It’s like we’re on an episode of “The Hills”,” as you’re eating brunch with your friend at some spot in Hollywood? Probably not. I would to love to seen an episode of “The Hills,” where they encounter like Captain Garbage as they’re walking out of Les Dipshit or whenever. That would be more in keeping with the Hollywood experience or at least the experiences I’ve had. Sitting in a depressing pizza place talking to the guy from Windy City Heat while some homeless lady goes from table to table asking for change.

The other night I heard a new M.I.A. jam on the radio, but then I thought it wasn’t M.I.A. for a moment, then I thought it was at least M.I.A. on a record with somebody else, then we beamed signal back to Mr.Big’s limo, then the radio announcer said it was a new Santogold song . Then I realized to most people, Santogold is going to sound awfully a lot like M.I.A.. So if you’ve never heard Santogold yet, go here and listen to some jams (I also took the picture above from there as well). I highly recommend her stuff. Although, if you’re in Southern California and it’s during the day, don’t dance to her stuff cause shit is too hot these days.